Social Science Nice Guy vs Bad Guys

[wce4premiership]

Female opinion here...

Bad boys win when your 22 but once you get to 26 you had better be dealing with nice guys or you're bound for trouble!

I have a nice guy in my life but I must say he's frustrating. He never seems to 'want' me or to go after me. I always have to call him, msg him to keep in touch or else we wouldnt speak often. He does this all the time and with others so I know it isn't me. Still its frustrating...

If this nice guy would make a little more effort then he'd be perfect!

Its sad

surely a bad guy wouldnt msg u and a good guy would?

 

[Power King]

"Nice guy syndrome" and the whole "friend zone" concept is what ugly, fat or boring guys use as a scapegoat for their inability to get laid. Friendzone is the path to happiness IMO.

Try and be a nice guy and get in as many friendzones as possible, if you are ****able you will be ****ed. If you are not ****able, it has nothing to do with the friend zone.

People can be arseholes and still have success, but only if they have the right attributes to compensate (racing car beds, 400 dollar shirts etc.). These are the real players that know that they don't even have to try for the girls to like him.

Not saying I am that guy, but this is the way I understand it.

Strongly disagree with the bolded. You most definitely do not want to get in the friendzone. The friendzone assumes that you are not ****able to the female, but are good enough to keep in her back pocket when she feels like blurting some emotions out because you will caress her feet whenever it is required. She will never consider touching this man's penis, let alone having him inside her.

If by friendzone you mean get into their good books and on good terms by showing her your attractive side, then I agree with you 150%.

Definition of friendzone simply needs to be verified, and I'd say the general consensus is that the term is represented by what's in my first paragraph above.

 

[wce4premiership]

I'm considered a bad guy from guy mates but a nice guy buy girls. I think it's because they see a different side to me, they still see my ***** side but i treat them unlike other people.

 

[cmndstab]

Strongly disagree with the bolded. You most definitely do not want to get in the friendzone. The friendzone assumes that you are not ****able to the female, but are good enough to keep in her back pocket when she feels like blurting some emotions out because you will caress her feet whenever it is required. She will never consider touching this man's penis, let alone having him inside her.

If by friendzone you mean get into their good books and on good terms by showing her your attractive side, then I agree with you 150%.

Definition of friendzone simply needs to be verified, and I'd say the general consensus is that the term is represented by what's in my first paragraph above.

I assume then that being friends but not currently dating the girl is not necessarily the same as being in what you refer to as the "friendzone"?


Because I've gone from friends to to more-than-friends with girls before, it's not as though it's impossible. But there have also been situations (more often than not) where it's been very clear that I would never be more than a friend to a girl.

 

[BarneyBent]

Female opinion here...

Bad boys win when your 22 but once you get to 26 you had better be dealing with nice guys or you're bound for trouble!

I have a nice guy in my life but I must say he's frustrating. He never seems to 'want' me or to go after me. I always have to call him, msg him to keep in touch or else we wouldnt speak often. He does this all the time and with others so I know it isn't me. Still its frustrating...

If this nice guy would make a little more effort then he'd be perfect!

Its sad

I'm basically that guy in my relationship, and friendships too. I'm terrible at initiating anything social, including with my girlfriend. I almost always leave it up to others. I'm totally happy to make an effort in any given situation, but I just rarely feel the urge to start something. I'm solitary by nature, and social interaction tends to drain me. And yes, my gf gives me a hard time about it.

Also, I'm the definition of a "nice guy". I have a lot of female friends, I've never been in a fight, I'm shy, I'm the "strong, silent type" o). I've been described as "hot but not cool" (to the extreme amusement of some of my old school mates).

But all that said about "nice guys finish last" and that sort of stuff, well, it's true in bed, and that's about it. I have lacked self-confidence at times throughout my life, and that has been responsible for some failures with girls, that sort of thing (seriously, I have blown the unblowable, and I'm not talking about Probst), but it was nothing to do with being nice. It's alll about confidence. Being relaxed, laid back, friendly, sweet, it works. So long as you can carry a decent conversation, you play it cool, and don't give off nervous or clingy vibes, you're at no disadvantage by being "nice". Being a bad guy is just a shortcut to these, it's not the only way, nor the best.

 

[King Elvis]

****in' Friendzone.

 

[joxstrap]

I am naturally a nice guy but flirtatious nature sort of eekes a bad boy persona too

Tell us more about your personality, AsianWithAFro, you sound absolutely perfect! Possibly post up some pictures for us as well?

Care to share some tips about how to be a flirtatious bad boy whilst remaining such a good bloke?

 

[Coolangatta]

I'm basically that guy in my relationship, and friendships too. I'm terrible at initiating anything social, including with my girlfriend. I almost always leave it up to others. I'm totally happy to make an effort in any given situation, but I just rarely feel the urge to start something. I'm solitary by nature, and social interaction tends to drain me. And yes, my gf gives me a hard time about it.

Also, I'm the definition of a "nice guy". I have a lot of female friends, I've never been in a fight, I'm shy, I'm the "strong, silent type" o). I've been described as "hot but not cool" (to the extreme amusement of some of my old school mates).

But all that said about "nice guys finish last" and that sort of stuff, well, it's true in bed, and that's about it. I have lacked self-confidence at times throughout my life, and that has been responsible for some failures with girls, that sort of thing (seriously, I have blown the unblowable, and I'm not talking about Probst), but it was nothing to do with being nice. It's alll about confidence. Being relaxed, laid back, friendly, sweet, it works. So long as you can carry a decent conversation, you play it cool, and don't give off nervous or clingy vibes, you're at no disadvantage by being "nice". Being a bad guy is just a shortcut to these, it's not the only way, nor the best.

You sound like me, except I haven't blown it with any girl... yet. I could end up ****ing things up with this girl I met at Winter school last year, but I don't particularly care either way; I will not talk to her on the phone about irrelevant bullshit (if she sees that as a sign I'm not interested, she can get ****ed, not only did I give several clues I was interested, I told her I was, and the feeling is mutual) I'll only use it to arrange sometime to catch up on the holidays when she's free on a few Monday's.

 

[Power King]

I assume then that being friends but not currently dating the girl is not necessarily the same as being in what you refer to as the "friendzone"?

Correct, although it comes down to what the girl thinks of the guy, like I mentioned.

If he is bitch-like, and she views him as someone that will always be there for her but only when she feels like it, and she generally lets him come to her, then that is bad friendzone, and what friendzone should mean.

If he is friends with her, sort of in the same way like he is with mates (ie the friendship takes two to tango, rather than him always initiating anything with her), then there could be potential for a hook up in the future.

Depends on the nature of the friendship. What it comes down to is does he pine for her whilst she doesn't give a ****, or are they on mutual levels of respect?

 

[Mr Budda Bing]

Bad guys get the girls in High School. After High school, most of the girls dump them and get with the Nice guys. Something about bad guys gets hot girls going, its never the ugly ones going for the bad guys, always the hot ones.