Northaholics anonymous

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north_lad said:
I'm north_lad and I'm a northaholic.

I had work on Saturday night, but I had enough time before my shift to watch the first half. Every week, no matter how bad we are going, I manage to convince myself we're a shot. "We beat Richmond last year!" I tell myself. A Ben Brown bag is just around the corner. He kicked 5 on the Tuggers last year.

The game starts. Immediately, so do the handballs to players under pressure. We've got the ball, but it's just drifting towards Richmond's goal. The inevitable turnover and Tigers score is coming. I can feel it. The whole game feels like that sickening feeling you get when the oppo has the ball in their 50... because the entire game is being played in their 50. I stop shouting. We can't hit a 20m pass. We can't even get the ball beyond the middle of the ground!

I leave for work at half time. I turn the radio off in the hope that we will kick a couple of quick goals and claw our way back into the game. I pull up at work and watch a bit of the third quarter in the car on my phone. Why am I doing this? It doesn't feel good. I glean no joy from this act. I hate every second of it, yet I cannot stop.

No matter what barb anyone has ever thrown at me, I have always known deep down, that there's something about North Melbourne teams that responds, that digs deep, gets that little bit extra out of themselves and thrives on proving people wrong. I just don't feel that anymore. I just think "wow is this what supporting Melbourne is like? This sucks"

Help
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I hear you north_lad - it feels dirty, like we shouldn't be doing it, that we are doing something illegal that needs to be done in the private of our own car, in the dark, away from family, friends, and other prying eyes. Like it is something that society frowns upon, something that is worse than anything that exists in the minds of normal people, that makes you feel dirty, that makes you want to curl up on the floor in the shower and scrub yourself with Solvol for hours - but knowing you will never be able to feel completely clean, but still you can't stop yourself from going back and doing it over and over and over again, hoping, somehow, to be caught, just so that it stops.

Oh, sorry, just re-read your post, you were talking about watching the game. Yep, um so was I, I'll just let myself out...
 
Caracas said:
🤣Actually, we hit rock bottom in R9 last season. This is our “second wave”. We’re nothing if not on trend. We’ll be wearing masks against Carlton.


On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app
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Not sure about the masks Caracas, but one thing I can guarantee you - based on our last 5 weeks - we will be practicing social distancing and enforcing the 1.5m rule from our opponents.
 

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Muttley here, just checking in with my fellow Northaholics, i reckon my 37 consecutive years as member qualifies me for admittance.
 
Hey, amaz here. I am a Northaholic.

Let's see... I got my first membership in '09 and holy hell what a dreadful year that was!

Then when Braddy came along, I thought 'New Game New Era' meant maybe we could make finals and play like a good football club. The poster looked good with Braddy and the boys but it wasn't enough :'(

I remember going to the nab cup game against Geelong and thought, man, Braddy has done something to these boys. Maybe we could do it this year. Oh how so naive I was! The next week, we blew it against a crappy Freo in the rain (something that would haunt us in the future) at Marvel. (Etihad at the time)

I thought we were doing alright and onwards and upwards into 2010 we went! Not...

Maybe 2011 will be the year? HAHA no...

2012? Thirteen... THIRTEEEEEN! But wait! There's hope! We were looking alright towards the end... but Freo heave ho at Marvel poisoned our confidence and Wet Toast gave us the spanking of a lifetime.

2013? Naitanui! PETRENKO! Hey, I got a joke! Don't let North Melbourne take dogs out for a walk. Really? Why not? Because they can't hold a lead! :'(

2014? Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Lost to Brisbane, but beat Hawthorn. That EF tho...

2015? Surely? No. Too inconsistent and that drubbing from Gold Coast... oh boy what a rollercoaster. However, we were the first team to make a prelim from 8th so there's that! Still filthy about the prelim umpiring.

2016? 9-0. We're looking alright, but something just didn't seem right at the same time. A dark storm appears aaannd injuries galore. (Insert Enron Simpsons GIF Here).

2017? Oh yeah. Losing those leads again... but surely we can still have a crack aaaannnd... no. Onwards.

2018? Damn, we were defending well, scoring enough, beating good sides aaaaand just miss out.

2019? Aight we got some good players from other clubs, surely we can challenge? Braddy loses his mind and looks lost, and we continue along a path of darkness. Until, Rhyce 'The Messiah' Shaw resurrects the North faith and we yet again, just miss out.

2020? The comeback against the Saints! Beat GWS on their home turf! Aight North I'm liking this now don't scre- OH FOR THE LOVE OF!

You see, when I see one of our players have the ball in space, my body prepares for two reactions... relief if he hits the target or I become a Viking and go berserk. The Viking persona has come out too often. The countless times I lost my voice at games barracking for my beloved North, the countless headaches from the leads we've lost, the sheer horror of watching opposition teams waltz the ball from the middle or from our F50 with no pressure. It all can really take its toll on a young lad like me. :'(

Rather sadly, I have accepted the fact that I have an addiction to watching the kangas play and win or lose, I just cannot ignore them. I need help, I need guidance from this absolute dumpster fire.

I come on here for temporary relief from posters that can put a humorous twist on the current dire situation of our beloved football club.

Go North!
 
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Dare I say it but you are all babes in the woods when it comes to that condition, Northaholic. Oh yes I'm one too. But long before I caught the condition, I suffered from Fitzroyaholic and let me tell you, that lasted much longer, had more years in the depths of despair and now, sadly I know I will never recover from it.

There is still hope that I might escape from the clutches of Northaholicism, not much hope, granted, but still a glimmer of hope. I know I'll be there again this Saturday and every time we play for as long as there is breath in my body, sometimes sitting, sometimes standing, always fidgetting, willing the boys to just perform a miracle when we are losing and shaking with fear when we have a lead and the opposition mounts a challenge. And that's just the ongoing symptoms of being a Fitzroyaholic!!! :mad:
 
scottywiper said:
My name is Swiper, I am a Northaholic and it has been one day since my last trangression.
Watching North is like an addiction - I knew yesterday we had no hope and yet planned my day around it. Sat on couch limply for two hours for one Josh Walker mark, one Hayden piece of courage and a couple of rudimentary goals. At no point did I think we could win and at quarter time was just hoping to see a goal or two. Barely any highlights at all and little to get excited about.
And yet I will almost certainly do it all again next week. And it will likely be the same painful experience.
I think I need help!
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And you will text and call me again. I think I need to charge you for therapy. :)
 
Horace said:
Dare I say it but you are all babes in the woods when it comes to that condition, Northaholic. Oh yes I'm one too. But long before I caught the condition, I suffered from Fitzroyaholic and let me tell you, that lasted much longer, had more years in the depths of despair and now, sadly I know I will never recover from it.

There is still hope that I might escape from the clutches of Northaholicism, not much hope, granted, but still a glimmer of hope. I know I'll be there again this Saturday and every time we play for as long as there is breath in my body, sometimes sitting, sometimes standing, always fidgetting, willing the boys to just perform a miracle when we are losing and shaking with fear when we have a lead and the opposition mounts a challenge. And that's just the ongoing symptoms of being a Fitzroyaholic!!! :mad:
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Horace, for those of us who lived through the end of Fitzroy mate, you have our condolences
That’s why I always have a rosier look on these than some, still having a club is better than not having one 👍
 
Pssssst

Hey you lot, guess what.. There's a guy down in that alley, reckons we have, Jed, LDU and Larkey back this week.

I'm in for a taste, who is with me?
 
ferball said:
Pssssst

Hey you lot, guess what.. There's a guy down in that alley, reckons we have, Jed, LDU and Larkey back this week.

I'm in for a taste, who is with me?
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In fact, both Bash Brothers are back, Ferbs! Jedley will be hungry after his break.


On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app
 
The day before the big game and the family heading to the Gabbatoir. Every little thing becomes a sign of hope. The nervousness has arrived. The Chairmen sends a letter & I am on board bleeding royal blue and white the moment I read the opening word ... Dear.

My third game in a row. It has been many years since I have had this opportunity. I am like that little 9 yr old who made his way to Arden St back in the day, minus the duffel coat.

My footy heart was won in the mid-seventies & my undying loyalty forged in the hell fire that was being an ardent 15/16 year old Shinboner attending almost every game in 1984.

North by 22.
 
sutcliffe's hotel said:
I am like that little 9 yr old who made his way to Arden St back in the day, minus the duffel coat.
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Slightly off topic (he says avoiding acknowledging some serious issues with Northaholicism) but in this day and age of retro and vintage garb, where is the return of the duffel coat. I could see both us old brigade and the Gen Ys turning up to games in them......assuming one day we will get back to the footy.

ferball said:
Pssssst

Hey you lot, guess what.. There's a guy down in that alley, reckons we have, Jed, LDU and Larkey back this week.

I'm in for a taste, who is with me?
Click to expand...

Hey Ferbs, where is that alley you mentioned? I could use a hit of LDU and Souva to keep me going. A bit of bash tomorrow would hit the spot too.

 

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Black2Blue said:
Slightly off topic (he says avoiding acknowledging some serious issues with Northaholicism) but in this day and age of retro and vintage garb, where is the return of the duffel coat. I could see both us old brigade and the Gen Ys turning up to games in them......assuming one day we will get back to the footy.



Hey Ferbs, where is that alley you mentioned? I could use a hit of LDU and Souva to keep me going. A bit of bash tomorrow would hit the spot too.
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Check out the ‘Greatest Jacket of All Time’ thread by SMaturin. I think it was Kalgoorlie Roos suggesting something similar re: duffel coats
 
Soft Downhill Skier said:
I need a hit man. Hey LDU is back. Top 5 pick? He’s good yeah? What’s your problem campaigner?


Got a smoke mate?
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Got some spare change, I just need some money for North bus?
 
Me at 1.04pm today: "Just going into the garage to [insert menial job I've been putting off for weeks]".

** Eyes darting back and forth; furtively opens AFL app and clicks 'watch live'. Occasionally starts the drill and hits the workbench with a hammer so as not to arouse suspicion **

Me at about 1.40pm: ** actually doing menial job I've been putting off for weeks **
 
Ahhhh, s**t. I feel a relapse coming on.
 
I don't watch us on tv just the computer score update, but if I did, due to our current circumstances, I would turn sound to mute and play the traditional
Benny Hill music in the background.
PS a win would be much appreciated today North.
Go The Mighty Roos
 
Here are the 12 Steps as defined by Northaholics;

  1. We admit we are powerless over North – that our lives have become unmanageable.
  2. Come to believe that a team greater than our's could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this new team wholeheartedly.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have our new team remove all these defects of character
  7. Humbly ask them to remove our shortcomings
  8. Made a list of persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought self reflection to improve our conscious contact with our new team as we understand them, hoping only for knowledge of their will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to all Northaholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
 
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