Preview Now Is The Winter Of Our Discontent: Hawthorn Vs Fremantle Launceston Saturday July 13 12:10pm WST.

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stax on the mull

Club Legend
Dec 26, 2010
AFL Club
Other Teams
Now Is The Winter of Our Discontent
Made Glorious by this summer sun of York Park (now known as UTAS stadium)

Launceston Weather Forcast: Saturday Cold a Frost morning, then Sunny, Rain less than 1mm

Yes folks its on again. Another trip to Tassie.

This will be our 12th visit to this venue. We have never come away from the ground on the day with the 4 points. There was this one year though when those kindly people who follow the players around with a whistle and are universally regarded as an ornament to the game, and through no fault of their own on this lone occasion back in 2006 made an entirely understandable mistake when they refused to accept that everyone else at the ground bar themselves had heard the final siren, and thus continued the play until Fremantle's opposition could at least, after a couple of tries, level the scores. Subsequently, following a protest, the four points were eventually awarded to Fremantle in the middle of the following week without any suggestion that any cheating had occurred, and that remains our only win, alongside 10 losses. Not a happy hunting ground.

Our Expectations:

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." So begins Great Expectations. Get real Dickens! Its No Expectations and it begins: "It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times". 91 points - a drubbing to those jerks, not even up the road anymore, as they've now appropriated Lathlain Park. We can not dwell on last week's disaster as a new horror ahead awaits us. We travel to the coldest place on earth to play against the team that continues to suck the life out of Tasmania's AFL aspirations by forcing the decent football starved yokels who actually live there to not only to sit alongside their own ferried-in weirdo supporters but also to join them in jeering derogatorily at the hapless jet-lagged teams that are flown in from the opposite ends of the country, laughing hysterically watching them freeze their nuts off before being mercilessly slaughtered- apparently all under the guise that its all going to be a big boost to states' economy and because TV viewers will be so fascinated by the little sponsorship logo decorating those hideous Hawthorn jumpers that they'll immediately start planning their next holiday there.


Jeff, Charity & Tourism
The weekend before last, after screaming on radio: "What's Robbo ever done for Charity?" - Jeff Kennett formerly known joffa Kennett during the inside out jacket years, aka the face-ache, el presidente for life, the Premier who made the trains to glenferrie run on time, the boofhead - or is it just acromegaly (rumour has it) who was so offended by the ripped-jeans look that he opened up his wallet and told Cyril: "Here's a 50 son, go get yourself a decent pair of slacks" called his accountant to ask if Hawthorn playing games in Tasmania could be considered as another of his selfless dedications to charitable works. The ratbag also blames AFL fixturing as the reason nobody bothers turning up for Hawthorn home games anywhere. Wake up Jeff. The jig is up. Tasmania Football wants a real Tasmanian team based in Tasmania, and they've told your proxy team with the poxy w & p's colours to finish the contract, stop leeching money out of the state and sod off.

Yes, there are other tourist attractions in Tasmania. There's always the fun hunt camping trips to find fresh footprints of the Thylacine. There's the graffiti of male genitalia at the bus stop outside Jackie Lambie's electoral office - which some speculate may have been drawn by her own hand. There's the pilgrimage trip that pays homage to the birthplace of South Fremantle champion Noel Carter, or a visit to the Children's Museum of Tasmania where you can see the two-headed boy in a jar and the first shaving kit that David Boon used. Legend has it, at the age of 5, Boon was gnawing at a tree branch fashioning a crude set of bails with his bare teeth when he was hit on the head by a magic apple and woke up several minutes later sporting the lusciously thick and alluring dark moustache that inspired the male look of the 80's and 90's for the Australian Transport Workers industry.

For the Freo lads there will be a night-before nosh-up at the newest franchise that has gourmet tastebuds tingling all over the Isle state - Bondy's House of Strudel - where diners are invited to stay for afters and engage in a post meal Q & A session as Bondy reminisces about all the trade week misses that could have been, ensuring a restful nights sleep are had by all before the big game. Hopefully, while our players are hitting the hay, the Hawthorn players will be kept awake by the all night serenading of Clarko planning his football afterlife as an X-Factor contestant with his acoustic guitar, as he tries to figure out if he should sing at the same time as strum, and why the fat strings at the top play duller notes than the skinny ones at the bottom.

Memory Lane:
Back up a little. I did say it was the WORST OF TIMES! but maybe there have been worser times. Imagine if you haven't won a game for 370 days. Here, take a squiz at this! (the specific highlight should start at 18:00, but since everybody seems so depressed lately, cheer yourself up and marvel at whole bloody lot. Who remembers that the losing coach in this game would be coaching Fremantle the following year)

More About The Happy Team From Hawthorn:

i)Their Captain:

Typically, it took until the Round 10, 2019 game between Hawthorn and Essendon for the AFL industry to finally wake up to itself and demand official recognition for something much of the football world had already known for years. That is that Hawthorn's Ben Stratton is a Certified Grade A High Order Flog. In a way I feel sorry that the bloke had to wait so long for the scorn he so richly deserves. It goes without saying that his pinching and stomping Hall of Shame status would have been achieved much sooner if he was playing for a non-Victorian team.
ii) O'Meara - Prior to this season the Jaeger Bomb had spent a significant portion of his AFL career in rehab trying to recover from having the most diabolical nickname in AFL/VFL history - of which there is no known cure.
iii) McEvoy - A small consolation for Jaeger, as clearly when I made the above statement about nicknames at ii) I completely forgot about he who is known as "Big Boy".
iv) Howe - a thug, known to put the boot in, and more recently the knee (Sam Mitchell style). His raison d'etre this weekend will be to injure Fyfe and Walters.
v) Cyril - Thankfully, Cyril doesn't play for the Hawks anymore
vi) Brad Hill - a champion winger who also doesn't play for the Hawks anymore - and he won't be going back!
vii) Conor Glass & Conor Nash - Its not even an original idea. Melbourne FC was the first AFL team to recruit two Irishmen with the same name - Jim Stynes and Bryan Stynes. Someone on the Hawthorn board was confident enough to suggest that one of these Conors will turn out to be the next Tadhg Kennelly - whatever that entails. More likely they have acquired two Michael Quinn types here (or two Bryan Stynes's). A warning though, the ginger Conor is quite fleet of foot and is currently being trained up to not to run in the opposite direction of the ball.
BTW: Hawthorn's historical list of overseas born players includes a player born in Birmingham, England called Fred West. Wikipedia fails to distinguish him from the UK serial killer with the same name. He played 12 games in 1928 so the link is tenuous but its just the kind of dirty trick you'd expect a Hawthorn player to try and get away with.
viii) Sicily - A thoroughly un-Australian name but not to be confused with one of those foreigners that Jeff Kennett was complaining about recently. A sensitive boy who can play well or spend the entire game having a big sook.
ix) Worpel - apparently named after the place in outback Western Australia near which Skylab fell to earth in 1979 safely out of the clutches of the Communist China...Edit: Correction that's actually Walpole - so he's just a poor man's homonym.
x) Birchall - In co-operation with the University of Tasmania sections of the crowd this Saturday will be wearing 3-D goggles with the hope that their local boy will miraculously appear out on the park for the first time in over two years . If successful the technology will be patented and marketed as Birchall Reality.
xi) Silk - a champion footballer who can't run as much as he used to

Lets compare Apples With Apples.

Both teams have won 4 games against current Top 8 sides - 3 of those against the same teams: GWS, Collingwood and Port. Hawthorn have also defeated Adelaide - While Fremantle have also defeated Brisbane. Fremantle sits on 7 wins for the season, Hawthorn on 6 wins.

Teams For Saturday

O'Brien, Frawley, Burgoyne
HB Straton, Sicily, Hardwick
C Henderson, Howe, Shiels
HF Bruest, Wingard, Puopolo
F Nash, Lewis, Impey

R McEvoy, O'Meara, Smith

Int Birchall, Scully, Worpel, Hanrahan

Emg Jones, Glass, Cousins, Ceglar

IN Wingard, Birchall OUT Glass, Gunston

B Wilson, Hamling, Ryan
HB Blakely, Hughes, Conca
C B.Hill, Fyfe, Langdon
HF Tucker, Walters, Colyer
F McCarthy, Lobb, Matera

R Darcy, Cerra, Mundy

Int Nyhuis, Switkowski, S.Hill, Brayshaw

Emg Duman, Logue, Crowden, Bewley

IN S.Hill, Nyhuis, Darcy OUT Crowden, Logue, Sandilands

Away Record says "No" - Fremantle has already maxed out on its number of away wins for 2019
Fremantle's record in Tasmania says "No"
Ross's Record vs Clarko's says "No" - Situation Normal...
Recent Form says "No"
Computer says "Yes" - Freo by 22 points.
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Brownlow Medallist
Sep 22, 2011
AFL Club
Other Teams
Liverpool FC, Washington Wizards
Why the heck, after the Tasmanian mayor/minister whatnot says we are not welcome there, we still go to that chilly, amateurish stadium? The fans don’t want Freo there either. yet AFL don’t care. Heh. Miserable playing in Launceston. Not looking forward to this


Team Captain
Dec 9, 2018
AFL Club
Good old boonie, the only thing to ever come out of Tasmania



Premium Gold
Apr 25, 2011
AFL Club
Good old boonie, the only thing to ever come out of Tasmania
Scallops and Oysters. Good wine, excellent whisky, entertaining stories of frisson between closely related people.

But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?


Premium Gold
Apr 25, 2011
AFL Club
The wife is a Hawks fan, so I aim to be stirring her mercilessly at the end of the game, about what a bunch of flogs they are after their loss. Feel free to raise a glass in honour of that lofty ambition.

They will revert to their barely disguised thuggery and it will fail. They will be running around in inelegant toilet bowl colours. They have Kennett. We will have moral superiority on our side and denounce them for the vagabonds and churlish scoundrels that they are to the footy world.

Freo by 22 points.
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Tonga Bob

Ricardo Montalbán Lookalike
Oct 26, 2013
The Green Green Wedge of Melbourne
AFL Club
Other Teams
SFFC, LFC (YNWA), ADO, CI Warriors
Out. Bloody. Standing.

I don't know which part I liked more - Joffa Kennett, the Boony segue, the literary references (I'm with you - all Dickens novels have merged into one), the shout out to Noel Carter, Bondy's House of Strudel, Lambie's artwork, Birchall Reality, and so on.

Truly Champagne Previewing!

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Brownlow Medallist
May 3, 2007
Parts Unknown
AFL Club
Other Teams
Man City, Valencia, Lazio, Panthers
Ah that famous 1 point win over the Saints in Tassie in 2006. It was on Free to air in South Australia that day.

That win helped us get into top 4 that year. And yes Byron Schammer was playing that game too!


Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 16, 2004
AFL Club
Other Teams
Ah that famous 1 point win over the Saints in Tassie in 2006. It was on Free to air in South Australia that day.

That win helped us get into top 4 that year. And yes Byron Schammer was playing that game too!
I think we would of made top 4 regardless. I actually think it went against us. We had the wood over West Coast, had it been a draw we may have met them in a prelim.


Club Legend
Dec 30, 2008
AFL Club
Just saw on instagram the videos of the boys hitting the pool in Tassie for recovery.
Normally when you see the videos pre away game they look up and about, but these ones they look cold and pretty miserable.
That is probably a good sign for tomorrow, when we look up and about we generally play crap!


Premiership Player
Jun 23, 2013
AFL Club
Other Teams
East Fremantle, Socceroos
Im driving up to the game. Its currently 6 in Hobart. Its freezing. Launceston will also be freezing. Needless to say, a win will help with the ride home. I'm packing a healthy dose of pessimism into the car but also bringing along the eternal Freo passanger, hope.

Cayman Docker

Senior List
Jun 6, 2015
Cayman Islands B.W.I
AFL Club
Ripper preview - great job!

My brain says.... we are going to get pulverised, smashed and demoralised. Another week of the good old stuff from back in the day, back on that FF button of the telly remote for a second week in a row, ugh.

My gut says... well we just don’t bloody know... which Freo team might just show up on the day and no reason why they couldn’t cause an upset, it’s what we’ve done well this year. Regardless of the sh1t score last week, we are still a better side than last year, so I shall remain optimistic.... this could go either way!

Good luck boys 👍

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