Ode to the SFA - Unofficial Poetry Thread

[Tommycash]

Hello you souls! It is about time we had a thread for poems. I am just certain we have our own W.B. Yeats amongst us. So please post any and all poetry below.

BY ANY AND ALL I WILL PERSONALLY BE INFURIATED BY A REALLY SHORT AND CRAP THING SO DON'T DO THAT.

An example of what I am after from the Bears v Royals thread:

The Royals need help
from someone on high
if they ever intend
to reach for the sky

Now we at the bears
are a wondrous team
have you ever considered
living the Vegas dream?

We are just as bad
and we won't get a win
but the parties we have
create a cacophonous din

So wave goodbye to Blacky
and get on a plane
for you're leaving the Royals
for your personal gain

Some other good efforts:

Royalty Royalty
Where are you at
You banter like s**t
And you Qooty is crap
Get in here and spam
I can do you 10 grams
It will spark your libido
And give you a Fat

People who try and rhyme
Are just wasting time
The important point
Is to not disappoint
And leave them sucking on lemons

 

[PhenomenalV1]

I'll do SFA
haikus. Problem is that I'm
not good at haikus.

 

[BLERN]

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

I longed for a place of recital
to bask in some poetry cred
then I checked my core vitals
'cos on reading this title
my heartbeat raced and it sped

Give thanks to our fine, blessèd host
who brought to us here with panache
a very fine post
leaves us simply engrossed
the rightful Mobbs favourite Tommo Cash

 

[Blacky]

I'll do SFA
haikus. Problem is that I'm
not good at haikus.

Phenomenal, mate.
You can’t structure it like that.
One sentence per line.

 

[Yakker]

Young Cashy was a poet of renown
But at times he was known to frown
At some lesser poet’s pieces of work
He would scream and call them a jerk
But only ended up looking like a clown

 

[PhenomenalV1]

Phenomenal, mate.
You can’t structure it like that.
One sentence per line.

There is no rule that
states that I can't use this kind
of haiku structure.

 

[BLERN]

After stepping onto the field
there is no way out
even before we start the game
you can see the Wonder's pout

The players then looking flustered
Seeing their team in disarray
the Wazza's team are looking keen,
To get things underway

And when the whistle blows
the crowd starts their roar
in the 100 tensed minutes
the players got to score

Qootball is friendly only in name
because friendliness is not meant for Qootball...
the most beautiful game...

So when the hard tackles go in
and injured Wonder's goes out
the crowd becomes furious
and starts to shout

Even after breaking one's leg
there seems to be no shame
because its Qootball...
the most beautiful game...

The sim will decide our fate
And so we have to wait
For sunday is still far away
Till the Wazza's celebrate
The most beautiful game...

 

[fitzroybowiedog]

I feel like people are taking my schtick

 

[KohPhi]

Ooh ah, just a little bit
Ooh ah, a little bit more
Ooh ah, just a little bit
You know what I'm I'm looking for

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

I feel like people are taking my schtick

You've been given the flick
We've stolen your schtick
Seems like the old dog
needs to learn a new trick

 

[fitzroybowiedog]

Stop that noise
You've taken my schtick
Regret discourse
O how they hit
I try new ideas
They turn to s**t
Always the beggar
Never the chooser
Half-clever
Full-time loser

From the BJO Roy-land
That time forgot
To the wonderland
skyward like a dot
Who understands
Who calls the shots
A Bear you know
It’s another spooner
Part-time poet
Full-time loser

 

[Blacky]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your banter is pathetic
No u

 

[fitzroybowiedog]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your banter is pathetic
No u

Roses are redder
Violets are bluer
your banter sucks
and so's ya face

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Stop that noise
You've taken my schtick
Regret discourse
O how they hit
I try new ideas
They turn to s**t
Always the beggar
Never the chooser
Half-clever
Full-time loser

From the BJO Roy-land
That time forgot
To the wonderland
skyward like a dot
Who understands
Who calls the shots
A Bear you know
It’s another spooner
Part-time poet
Full-time loser

p u n k

 

[fitzroybowiedog]

p u n k

My work has never been wholly original.
I'm currently enjoying the works of John Cooper Clarke. I mangled one of his to make this.

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

My work has never been wholly original.
I'm currently enjoying the works of John Cooper Clarke. I mangled one of his to make this.

It's a mannerly mangling!

 

[fitzroybowiedog]

I'll do SFA
haikus. Problem is that I'm
not good at haikus.

To-con-vey one’s mood
In sev-en-teen syll-able-s
Is ve-ry dif-fic

not mine but seemed very apt for you.

 

[sante]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I did a poo
And it smells like you

 

[JackNah_8]

Bowiedog is just showing off his poetry skills

 

[fitzroybowiedog]

Bowiedog is just showing off his poetry skills

as i said, mine aren't wholly original.
I steal/pay homage to poets i like.

 

[I Dont Care]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I did a poo
And it smells like you

Let me tell you about an interview
I had with an old man emu
He's got feathers and feet and things
But the poor old fella ain't got no wings

 

[I Dont Care]

Let me tell you about an interview
I had with an old man emu
He's got feathers and feet and things
But the poor old fella ain't got no wings

"Well..the eagle's flying round and round
I got both feet firmly on the ground
He can fly but I'm telling you
...I can run the pants off a kangaroo"

 

[JackNah_8]

I don't really like poetry but here's a short one




How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in,
With gently smiling jaws!


Lewis Carroll

 

[I Dont Care]

I don't really like poetry but here's a short one




How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in,
With gently smiling jaws!


Lewis Carroll

Awww...but how about a Jacky original poem?