One very bitter man.

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Joined
Jul 12, 2001
Posts
37,782
Likes
5,424
Location
Melbourne
AFL Club
Gold Coast
#3
:D

Anagrams : Manchester United

- Urine Detatchments
- Cremated Nun Sh**e
- Hesitant Crude Men

Gary and Phil Neville are sitting in the pub with their dog and this guy comes in and lifts up the dog's tail, looks underneath it and then leaves. Gary and Phil are bemused by this but continue to enjoy their drinks.

Then another guy comes in and does the same thing, looks under the dog's tail and then leaves. When a third guy comes in and starts to do the same thing, Phil stops him and asks "hold on mate. you are the third person to do that. What are you doing?"
The guy says "There is a man outside who says that there is a dog in here with 2 arseholes."
 

The Hitman

Premiership Player
Joined
Jun 4, 2002
Posts
3,716
Likes
212
Location
Melbourne
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Manchester United
#4
Might have got a smirk from me if most of the so-called "jokes" were actually relevant. You know, if we actually lost a lot or if Beckham or Schmiechel still played for us. Kind of takes the sting out of "jibes" such as:

A couple were going through the traumatic throes of a divorce when the subject of the custody of their 4-year-old became the contended point.

The judge said that since the lad's future was at stake he would like to see the young boy alone in chambers. Once in chambers, the judge asked if the boy understood what was happening. The 4-year said, "Yes sir, my mammy and daddy won't be living together any more."

"That's correct my boy" said the judge "And would you like to live with mammy?"

"No" replied the boy. "Why not?" asked the judge. "Because she beats me!" said the lad. "Hmm" said the judge, "Would you like to live with your daddy then?" Again the boy answered "No".

Again the judge asked "Why not?" And the little lad replied "Because he beats me too." "Well then, who do you want to live with?" queried the judge.

The young boy quickly replied "Manchester United FC, sir." "Why Man United?" Asked the puzzled judge. "Because they don't beat anybody" the boy simply replied.


Gee, that hurts when you're the CHAMPIONS. And having photos of Beckham with non-funny captions and the word "tw*t" on his back - this guy is a genius!

I wonder if he's a Leeds fan. If so, all those sheep "jokes are a bit hypocritical...

The Hitman
 
Joined
Jul 12, 2001
Posts
37,782
Likes
5,424
Location
Melbourne
AFL Club
Gold Coast
#6
Originally posted by The Hitman
Might have got a smirk from me if most of the so-called "jokes" were actually relevant. You know, if we actually lost a lot or if Beckham or Schmiechel still played for us. Kind of takes the sting out of "jibes" such as:
The Hitman
yeah was thinking the same thing.
 
Top Bottom