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I haven’t got a clue what’s going on.
Sources close to the Melbourne Football Club assure me that Matty Richardson is back at Richmond. As to why a Melbourne supporter would give a rats about what was going on at Richmond perplexed me.
But it’s good news for anyone playing up forward at the Coburg Tigers. They were pretty crap up forward last year when they were the Coburg-Fitzroy Lions - and they represented all that was good, and entertaining about life; before they got sold like last Thursdays mullet at Echuca on a forty degree day to Richmond.
It’ll be good news because Matty Richardson is a dud; A pretty boy dud who used to hold up the bar at the Rose Hotel in Fitzroy the night before a game, chatting to pretty women and the like. Which is outrageous and to be deplored by all reasonable thinking people.
Those pretty women should have been chatting to me, or a friend of mine.
They always have the races on at the Rose but they don’t have a TAB outlet which is a good idea for someone.
My informant also reckons Collingwood has a new strip, which can only be a good thing.
In fact everything seems good.
We start the Civil Aviation Safety Authority Cup [the CASA Cup] this weekend from the home of Mandatory Sentencing, Darwin.
Geelong will get pumped by a rejuvenated Sydney that’s got over the loss of Paul Roos, who was always more important to their success than Lockett (Lockett never captained Fitzroy, see). It will be a rousing affair in front of twenty thousand excited blackfellas and a cyclone is forecast. Should be a good Friday night out all round.
The new look Collingwood will fall to a beefed up St Kilda at The Source Of All Our Misery. Sainters are really on the chopping block now as the AFL High Command begin drooling over new Packer inspired television markets. I think they will do a Melbourne in ’98 or South in ’33 sort of turnaround.
Two of the teetering giants of the game, West Coast and the Kings Cross Kangaroos, meet at Subiaco as part of the Shinboners commitment to their Melbourne supporter base. A lot of tipsters would put this one in the too hard basket, but I reckon the Weagles in a canter. Malthouse is no tree hugging hippy. Well he is, but let’s put that aside for the moment.
On the Saturday Pretty Park hosts local heroes Carlton who take on the surprise packet Footscray, who should get thumped.
They’ll still be celebrating the Guillotining of King Richard the Second in Fremantle who should topple the mollycoddled Melbourne in the cool summer air at Subiaco.
Port Adelaide will get flogged by Essendon, but by how much is the question on everyone’s lips. They should either go back to the SANFL or stop getting caned, they can’t have it both ways. Poor old Fitzroy haven’t got a team and Port’s got two! Another example of AFL greed.
Speaking of tradition, Adelaide play Brisbane at the Westpac Trust Stadium in Wellington, New Zealand. Our only hope is both teams get lost or there’s an air disaster or something. The Federal Government has come to the aid of the AFL by telling New Zealanders that they are not allowed to come over here and work for the dole. As a result tens of thousands of Kiwis will be coming to see an example of such an enlightened and generous culture. Another first was getting the words Westpac and Trust to sit together without everyone falling about laughing.
Speaking of culture, it’s the battle of the inbreds as Hawthorn take on Richmond in Launceston, Tasmania. Big things are forecast for the Mayblooms this year while the Tigers will be robbing banks to stay out of the poor courts. Richmond is a great Shakespearean tragedy and I recommend it be placed on the syllabus for the VCE.
I would like to take this opportunity to thrown my support behind the Fitzroy Reds tipping comp which will be taking place this year. It’s only ten bucks and the organisers have assured me they’re going to take the money and put it through the pokies at Moama and never be seen again. The best thing about it is that nobody has a clue what’s going on in the Amateurs so we should be able to conduct experiments in telekenisis and football tipping, which surely should be a world first.
Except for the time that Argentinian bloke won the work tipping comp.
I’ll post the URL next week.
Phil Doyle - heaving into a long torp that goes off the side of the boot.
If you would like to receive the very irregular and factually unreliable Out Of Bounds directly via email then send a message to phildoyle33@hotmail.com
All of this is copyright Phil Doyle 2000, for whatever that's worth. Any resemblance to persons living or dead I consider a compliment.
Sources close to the Melbourne Football Club assure me that Matty Richardson is back at Richmond. As to why a Melbourne supporter would give a rats about what was going on at Richmond perplexed me.
But it’s good news for anyone playing up forward at the Coburg Tigers. They were pretty crap up forward last year when they were the Coburg-Fitzroy Lions - and they represented all that was good, and entertaining about life; before they got sold like last Thursdays mullet at Echuca on a forty degree day to Richmond.
It’ll be good news because Matty Richardson is a dud; A pretty boy dud who used to hold up the bar at the Rose Hotel in Fitzroy the night before a game, chatting to pretty women and the like. Which is outrageous and to be deplored by all reasonable thinking people.
Those pretty women should have been chatting to me, or a friend of mine.
They always have the races on at the Rose but they don’t have a TAB outlet which is a good idea for someone.
My informant also reckons Collingwood has a new strip, which can only be a good thing.
In fact everything seems good.
We start the Civil Aviation Safety Authority Cup [the CASA Cup] this weekend from the home of Mandatory Sentencing, Darwin.
Geelong will get pumped by a rejuvenated Sydney that’s got over the loss of Paul Roos, who was always more important to their success than Lockett (Lockett never captained Fitzroy, see). It will be a rousing affair in front of twenty thousand excited blackfellas and a cyclone is forecast. Should be a good Friday night out all round.
The new look Collingwood will fall to a beefed up St Kilda at The Source Of All Our Misery. Sainters are really on the chopping block now as the AFL High Command begin drooling over new Packer inspired television markets. I think they will do a Melbourne in ’98 or South in ’33 sort of turnaround.
Two of the teetering giants of the game, West Coast and the Kings Cross Kangaroos, meet at Subiaco as part of the Shinboners commitment to their Melbourne supporter base. A lot of tipsters would put this one in the too hard basket, but I reckon the Weagles in a canter. Malthouse is no tree hugging hippy. Well he is, but let’s put that aside for the moment.
On the Saturday Pretty Park hosts local heroes Carlton who take on the surprise packet Footscray, who should get thumped.
They’ll still be celebrating the Guillotining of King Richard the Second in Fremantle who should topple the mollycoddled Melbourne in the cool summer air at Subiaco.
Port Adelaide will get flogged by Essendon, but by how much is the question on everyone’s lips. They should either go back to the SANFL or stop getting caned, they can’t have it both ways. Poor old Fitzroy haven’t got a team and Port’s got two! Another example of AFL greed.
Speaking of tradition, Adelaide play Brisbane at the Westpac Trust Stadium in Wellington, New Zealand. Our only hope is both teams get lost or there’s an air disaster or something. The Federal Government has come to the aid of the AFL by telling New Zealanders that they are not allowed to come over here and work for the dole. As a result tens of thousands of Kiwis will be coming to see an example of such an enlightened and generous culture. Another first was getting the words Westpac and Trust to sit together without everyone falling about laughing.
Speaking of culture, it’s the battle of the inbreds as Hawthorn take on Richmond in Launceston, Tasmania. Big things are forecast for the Mayblooms this year while the Tigers will be robbing banks to stay out of the poor courts. Richmond is a great Shakespearean tragedy and I recommend it be placed on the syllabus for the VCE.
I would like to take this opportunity to thrown my support behind the Fitzroy Reds tipping comp which will be taking place this year. It’s only ten bucks and the organisers have assured me they’re going to take the money and put it through the pokies at Moama and never be seen again. The best thing about it is that nobody has a clue what’s going on in the Amateurs so we should be able to conduct experiments in telekenisis and football tipping, which surely should be a world first.
Except for the time that Argentinian bloke won the work tipping comp.
I’ll post the URL next week.
Phil Doyle - heaving into a long torp that goes off the side of the boot.
If you would like to receive the very irregular and factually unreliable Out Of Bounds directly via email then send a message to phildoyle33@hotmail.com
All of this is copyright Phil Doyle 2000, for whatever that's worth. Any resemblance to persons living or dead I consider a compliment.
