This sums up my feelings on 'Friends' and many of my mates.
From espn.com.
People were calling "Friends" the "last great sitcom" this week, begging an obvious follow-up question: "Friends" was a great sitcom?
Really? For a TV show to be great, don't women and men have to watch it? I don't know any guys who watch "Friends." (Hey, they might be out there, I just haven't met them.) Thinking about a guy watching "Friends" always makes me think of that Seinfeld episode when George gets back with Susan, then realizes he can't get out, and the show ends with them watching "Mad About You" together as she looks happy and he looks like he might throw up at any second.
It wasn't always that way. The first season of "Friends" was the closest anyone ever came to capturing Generation X on TV. The characters discussed misunderstandings from "Three's Company," made jokes about "Joanie Loves Chachi," even hummed the theme from "The Odd Couple." They were constantly fending off nitpicking parents and nosy neighbors. They busted each other's chops, made constant wisecracks, ripped each other's latest boyfriends and girlfriends. Some of them had a little money, others were pretty much broke, and there was always tension between the haves and the have-nots. And they were always happiest just sitting around and doing nothing.
Heck, this was what my life was like! Maybe I wasn't dancing in a water fountain or having a kid with my lesbian ex-wife; but for the most part, this was me. We all had friends like Chandler and Joey, guys who roomed together for too long and almost started to take on couple tendencies (in a funny way). We all knew an over-sensitive guy like Ross, or a ditz like Phoebe. We all knew two smoking-hot chicks who didn't have boyfriends and laughed at everyone else's jokes.
(Okay, maybe that was a stretch.)
During that first season, Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston were the breakout stars -- Perry because he was wickedly funny (you forget this now), Aniston because every guy on the planet had a crush on her. (I've written this before, but I would put the '94-'95 Aniston against any celeb -- back when she had a little more weight on her and pulled off the "Extremely Hot Chick Who You Feel Like You Could Actually Have a Chance With" dynamic.) But each actor was at least somewhat likable. Well, except Schwimmer.
And then the show went in the tank.
The first sign of trouble happened at the start of Season Two, when Rachel realized that Ross was in love with her, planned on reciprocating ... and he came back from China with an astonishingly average-looking new girlfriend. So Rachel spent a few episodes pining for him -- which was outrageous, since she could have had anybody, but she was settling for this horse-faced doofus -- and he was too dumb to notice. When he finally realized what happened, we had an old-fashioned love triangle on our hands, which Ross attempted to solve -- with the help of his buddies -- by making a pro-con list, which Rachel somehow stumbled across. Eventually they ended up together.
Three problems here:
1.) Nobody would ever debate between two women if one of them looks like Jennifer Aniston. Not even for a millisecond. Not even for a split-second of a millisecond.
2.) No female would ever forgive a guy for making a pro-con list that included mean comments about them. It would never happen. It would never, EVER happen.
3.) More importantly, this is a freaking sitcom! Who cares? Make me laugh!
So that started the downfall. Suddenly Ross and Rachel were doing oogly-googly stuff, Rachel wasn't working in the coffee shop, Joey was getting acting jobs, Chandler was banging out one-liners like Shecky Greene, everyone had money ... these were becoming people I couldn't identify with anymore. There was a painful Thanksgiving episode where the gang played football -- that one has to rank among the worst 30 minutes in TV history. Things eventually plummeted off a cliff during the Super Bowl special in '96, which included special guest appearances by Julia Roberts, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Fonzie waterskiing over the shark.
To everyone's eternal horror, "Friends" had evolved into a Chick Show (the dreaded cousin to the Chick Flick). Episodes revolved around Ross and Rachel's on-again/off-again romance, or Monica dating Tom Selleck, or some B-list celebrity making a cameo. Meanwhile, Matthew Perry was losing weight at warp speed and taking all the comedy with him. Suddenly, male characters were confessing "I love you" while the studio audience went bonkers -- just a room full of females shrieking in delight, like one of those Oprah episodes where Oprah gives away blenders to the entire audience. When Ross and Rachel started having problems and bickering for entire episodes, that was it for me. What was this, the Lifetime Network?
Like most guys, I stopped watching for a few years, making a brief comeback for the story arc when Ross married the English chick and Monica hooked up with Chandler (only because everyone was talking about the "Friends" resurgence), then jumping ship after Joey fell in love with Rachel.
Because here's the thing ...
(And "Friends" did this not once but twice ... )
There are certain codes that guys live by. I've mentioned many of them in this space over the years -- stuff like "If you're sharing a bed with someone in Vegas, make sure you remain at least two feet apart at all times," and "If your buddy's team loses an especially tough game, you can't call him to make fun of him under any circumstances."
But there are three codes that supercede all others. Here they are:
1.) You can't be attracted to your buddy's sister.
2.) You can't be attracted to your buddy's girlfriend.
3.) You can't be attracted to your buddy's ex-girlfriend if he had genuine feelings for her.
Those three codes are non-negotiable. So when Chandler fell in love with Joey's girlfriend ... I mean, that's it. As Charles Barkley would say, first of all, they can't be friends no mo'. Joey ain't forgivin' nothin' like that. And No. 2, I can't like Chandler no mo'.
But seriously ... how can anyone get past this? Wasn't there a guy on the "Friends" writing staff who could say, "Hold on, everyone. We can't do this; we will lose our entire male viewership."?
Well, they lost me. I trickled back for more punishment during the Chandler-Monica thing, became repulsed as Chandler turned into a whipped, emasculated parody of himself (it's bad enough dealing with friends like this in real life, isn't it?), then quit cold turkey when Joey fell for Rachel. They did it again! Rachel was Ross's girl! He had been in love with her for like 10 years! She was pregnant with his kid, for God's sake! And they have the nerve to call the show "Friends."
Before last night's unwatchable final episode, I hadn't seen the show for over two years. Now I remember why I stopped watching. First, Ross wanted to confess his love to Rachel, but she was headed to the airport; then he and Phoebe went to the wrong airport ... I'd tell you more about it, but I was busy slamming the remote control against my head. There was also a subplot where Monica and Chandler brought their adopted twins home 10 minutes after they were born. They moved out of their apartment. People tried to act sad and stuff. Then they went out for one last cup of coffee and that was that.
I didn't laugh once. They weren't kidding when they said it was the end of an era.