Certified Legendary Thread - Pearlers Only | Page 100 | BigFooty

Certified Legendary Thread Pearlers Only

Discussion in 'Humour and Games Board' started by ArgusTuft, Sep 11, 2008.

  1. Socrates2

    Socrates2 Club Legend

    Richmond
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    1,734
    I need to have glasses to see my family. Specifically, two glasses... of scotch!
     

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  2. GreyCrow

    GreyCrow Hall of Famer

    Adelaide
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    Mar 16
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    40,461
    Location:
    Down South Corvus Tristis
    Other Teams:
    Sturt, Redskins , White Sox
    *stolen from RedmanWasHere

    Gouge used to be spelt gouige ...until someone took an i out
     
  3. RedmanWasHere

    RedmanWasHere Rarely in kitchens at parties.

    Essendon
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    Location:
    Information Superhighway
    Other Teams:
    Exers, Gryffindor, Brisbane AFLW

    I never posted that one.
     
  4. GreyCrow

    GreyCrow Hall of Famer

    Adelaide
    Joined:
    Mar 16
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    40,461
    Location:
    Down South Corvus Tristis
    Other Teams:
    Sturt, Redskins , White Sox
    I went to the chemist to buy some Viagra. Couldnt believe how much it cost

    Guess thats inflation for ya
     
  5. Socrates2

    Socrates2 Club Legend

    Richmond
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    Aug 15
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    1,734
    That's a shocker
     
  6. philreich

    philreich Brownlow Medallist

    Port Adelaide
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    Mar 14
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    Mate of mine reckons he saw his missus putting viagra in her coffee the other day. He asked her, "What are you doing?" She said, "I love the stuff - it even stops my biscuits going soft."
     
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  7. Mofra

    Mofra Moderator

    Western Bulldogs
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    Dec 05
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    38,408
    Location:
    Footscray
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    Footscray, The Exers
    It's useful in the aged care industry - stops the guys rolling out of bed.
     
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  8. philreich

    philreich Brownlow Medallist

    Port Adelaide
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    Someone once described it as being like a trip to Disneyland - you have to hang around for an hour for a 12 second ride.
     
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  9. Socrates2

    Socrates2 Club Legend

    Richmond
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    There was a party and after the party ,a brother and sister were drunk and the sister says to her brother ,'come in the bedroom.' The siblings not thinking clearly,start having sex, just as the sister was about to climax , she yells 'kiss me ,kiss me!'.The brother says ,' Kiss you?It's bad enough we're doing this!'
     
  10. jumboprince

    jumboprince FLACCID MEMBER

    Adelaide
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    Oct 11
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    Yahl Cricket Club
    The wife got dressed up for a night out with her friends, then she walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her. "8 or 9 at least" I said.


    "Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, babe, I'm flattered". Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant beers.
     
  11. jumboprince

    jumboprince FLACCID MEMBER

    Adelaide
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    Oct 11
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    Yahl Cricket Club
    Smacked the missus on the arse last night. "into the bedroom with you wench" I said.

    She giggled "Oh you horny devil" "No, seriously" I said. "Bugger off, the footy's about to start."
     
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  12. jumboprince

    jumboprince FLACCID MEMBER

    Adelaide
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    Oct 11
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    Yahl Cricket Club
    I don't know if women belong in the kitchen or not; but we can all agree they don't belong on the road.
     
  13. Socrates2

    Socrates2 Club Legend

    Richmond
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    Your on the wrong thread mate, your looking for the 'No one will root me, so I hate women thread'
     
  14. Run n Spread

    Run n Spread Norm Smith Medallist

    Collingwood
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    Apr 13
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    6,572
    Bob is called before the medical practitioners board for sleeping with a patient.

    In his defence Bob states:
    "Look I'm not the first Doctor to have done this. And we're both single so it's not as if anyone is being harmed."

    "Yes but Bob" came the reply:
    "You're a Vet."
     
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  15. Run n Spread

    Run n Spread Norm Smith Medallist

    Collingwood
    Joined:
    Apr 13
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    6,572
    A farmer has a recalcitrant Rooster who is lazy and unmotivated.
    Perplexed he visits the vet who gives him some powder to ground up into the Roosters Chicken Feed.
    The powder works so well the Rooster is at it all day for a week straight.

    After seeing this all week the farmer decides to mix in a bit of the powder into his Saturday night drink before his hot date.
    Monday morning comes and he has no option to sees the Vet:

    "Look" says the vet "it really is designed for poultry but given you only had a teaspoon it won't do you any harm."

    "No the powder worked great" says the farmer. "40 times for the weekend."

    "Only problem is my date never showed. Now i need something for my wrist."
     
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