I believe there is someone out thereUnfortunately I'm at my lowest so far. I think my friends and family can only take so much of my bleeding heart...i just feel so utterly alone...
Go fishingThe ups and downs of this are getting a bit tiresome. Had a really nice family vacation just last week. Wife still wants some space though and wants to spend time focusing on ourselves as individuals. Doesn't sound so bad I guess. I mean, she does say she loves me and divorce is not on her mind. It's just in my nature to analyze and want to fix and get back to normal straight away. She believes normal just needs to change a little and the marriage needs to evolve. I think I've screwed up a bit by perhaps over-thinking and asking lots of questions and trying to do everything. Just backing off is hard. Focusing on myself is difficult too.
settle down big fella...farkkI believe there is someone out there
Someone who helps me laugh, holds me when I cry
Who stands with me in hard times and is beside me even when I don't even know in myself that I need them
I believe my heart belongs to that person, whoever they are, wherever they are
Nahsettle down big fella...farkk
From that post I feel like you're placing all your happiness on a women.... dangerous move son
The older you get you will realise that love only lasts so long and it fades over time regardless.
Meanwhile try and find happiness in other things and love may come or it may not... just don't make it the be and end all or you're gona be one miserable campaigner.
Yes it's a tough one. I commend you in your mature approach to it all. If it does all go to shit mate it's not the end of the world. Honestly I reckon if you have stated clearly how much you love her and she knows that give her her space. Go and spend time on what you want to do and bettering yourself. She will either work out she wants to be with you (bit of the old absence makes the heart grow fonder) or she will move on. You will only push her away by being clingy. Go do some stuff you have wanted to do for a while. Travel up north and go fishing lolWell, crap. Going through a kind of separation at the moment. Not sure how extreme or the details but we need to hash it out. At the moment she can't see herself having a long-term future together but wants to work on ourselves and doesn't want to think about divorce yet. Still going to be going to counselling but I'm not sure if it's futile at this point. She's unsure but wants to see. I want to push and push and talk it out but afraid that will drive her (or most likely me) right out the door. In a tough spot at the moment and not coping too well. I understand the best thing right now would be to let go a bit and focus on myself. So hard though.
That's shit mate and I feel for you!Thank you. She just emailed me and said she'd like a proper separation and to live apart. I just asked her what she hoped to get out of it. I guess I don't have much other option now.
Likewise Catfish Alley. PM away! If I can help then go for it mate.
My ex just "suddenly" wanted space & "just a short break". She said she loved me & wanted to work on it. Her actions didn't mimic her words & a few months later she ended up not wanting to come back. I find out a year or so later that she had shacked up with some bloke a handful of weeks after wanting "just a short break" (which is around the exact time she confirmed she wanted a seperation & divorce)
She knew the moment she left she wasn't coming back but wanted me to end it for her (I think). She had been preparing for months for it & moved on pretty much straight away. I was blindsided & thus shocked. I went through the months of trying to win her back, trying to fix things, trying to talk... she'd already made her mind up months ago. Well before she left & well before she told me. So my point is this;
The most important thing right now is you. You are the most important person in your life. Your future self will thank you later for focusing on you now. Not your relationship. Not her. You. Be selfish now. Work around your issues. Do things you love. Out of this horrible situation you can build a better you. It's really really hard. But the best way forward is facing forward & not backwards.
Bloody horrible situation but I hope you get through it as best you can mate.
Why do they want you to split?And thanks to the support of everyone. It was helpful. The hardest thing right now is that there are family and friends that actually want us to split. So it’s difficult having that negativity on top of everything. Trying to block it.
That sounds really positive mate. Talk it out as much as possible mate. Hopefully, no matter the outcome in terms of the relationship, you can walk out of this knowing yourself & being an even better version than before.So, I actually ended up back at home pretty quickly. Things need to change obviously because we’ve been in this loop for a while. I’ve been a bit passive so stepping up and saying what I need seems to have had an impact.
Neither of us want a divorce. There were things from years ago that we just never addressed and they simmered under the surface. The last couple of days is the most open we have been with each other for quite a while. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted but for now there seems hope. The past few days though have taught me that I’ll be fine no matter what.