Norm Smith Medallist
- May 12, 2011
- AFL Club
- Other Teams
- Chelsea, ICT, Glory
Nothing can replace the joy of having kids if that is what you want. It will be a regret later in life.
Oh god, mate... I'll share my experience with you. Because I AM also that woman who doesn't want children. And your situation is the exact one I've always wanted to avoid because in my opinion it only leads to resentment. Having kids is life-changing and therefore can't be treated lightly. Throughout my dating life I've made sure the kids thing is brought up sooner rather than later, and depending on the conversation it has even been mentioned on a first date before! There was a guy I met on Tinder once who wanted to meet up. But we got talking one day and he mentioned how he really wanted children. I told him, what's the point of meeting up when it realistically can't go anywhere?!? On some dating sites you can show whether you want children or not which was helpful. But frustrating. The amount of men who wanted kids made me rather depressed lol. I just couldn't go there, no matter how much the guy otherwise seemed compatible. I wouldn't want him to resent me, or feel like there was something missing. I didn't want to take that away from somebody or deny him of the opportunity to have a family if it was something he really wanted in life. It's something that you can't really compromise on.
My current relationship is a long distance one (I'm in Adelaide he's in Melbourne), which made it even more difficult to know when to bring up kids haha. But I did and we had a good chat about it. He's undecided, which is better than him wanting them, but still makes me wary. But I told him all my reasons etc. He even said my opinions about it were swaying him (into the not having kids category). That wasn't my intention but some people don't think about certain things I guess. I think he thinks not liking kids is akin to maturity (which I disagree with) and he says "maybe I'll grow up one day". He's 32 lol. Anyway. He knows what he's in for.
My boss at work knew someone once, he was married to a really lovely woman and they had said they both didn't want kids. One day, he changed his mind. She didn't. So they got divorced But now they have both remarried and the guy has a kid with his new wife.
As much as it pains me to say it, if this is something you simply cannot look past, then the best course is to part ways You don't want to wait around just in case she changes her mind (which is unlikely). Luckily for men, you have time on your side because men can have kids at almost any age whereas it's more difficult for women.
I really feel for you, mate. I wish I had something more positive to impart also I'm sorry this was so long! GOOD LUCK.
Thanks for the replies, and I sadly I agree. I'm 27 and she's a year younger so some silver lining is that we have a little time on our sides.Yep, got to say I agree. You’d be better off ending it sooner rather than later.
How old are you? It is definitely possible she could change her mind if still pretty young. You should have a proper chat about it though.
We've had chats from early on about our family expectations so we've always known how we feel. And while she has never liked kids she has always thought there may come a time where the idea of having her own may eventually appeal to her. However over time it's become apparent that it's incredibly unlikely that she will ever feel this way. It's simply heartbreaking to think that if we were on the same page about this there's a very high chance we would spend the rest of our days extremely happy together
Life sucks sometimes.