Perfect long term relationships that go sour

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The Sultan

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 29, 2007
5,307
5,669
Rand McNally
AFL Club
Carlton
I not sure if this belongs here or deserves its own thread.. in a bit of a predicament.

Long story short, seperated and divorced from my ex-wife and mother of my three kids. Things are ok most of the time but still can get testy at times. We both have new partners, she doesnt live with hers I live with mine. We share custody of the two youngest kids, \ my 17yo who didnt get along with my new partner so decided not to come to mine anymore, I still catch up with my eldest on a weekly basis for dinner/milk shake or just a drive.

all the above stuff is fine, the current issue is, my second born is doing their Deb in April (my eldest missed out due to Covid) and have just found out that I will only get one ticket to the Deb, my partner or any other member of my family will not get one, aparently there are limited tickets. My ex, however is able to get a ticket for our other two kids (no issue with that) but also her partner as well as her mother and aunt.

Obviously i was a little put out, I have been with my partner for 5 odd year and she has been a part of my kids lives to a degree for most of that time. I spoke to the ex about it in a calm manner she said that she has been is in contact with the venue/deb committe and apparenly only one person per family can organise tickets. She also said it was my second born whos is doing the deb's, decision who was invited, and for what its worth gets along well with my partner.

I also spoke to the second born and they round about way said that they were the names given to the ex. but I think there may have been a little cohersion. My ex can bebit maliputive and unstable when she doesnt get things her way. I also think they dont want the whole thing to turn into a fight so it trying to keep mum happy

I definaly want to go to the event, and i also want to take my partner, but if I push it and able to get her a ticket and we all sit together then there is going to be tension and mix that with alcohol could explode. I dont want to ruin my daughters night.

the tickets dont go on sale for another week or so, so I am going to try and contact the venue/organisers explain that we cant sit together and get a few tickets on a separate table, but my ex said there are not extra tables only one table each for the debutant couples to share. Im not 100% sure how it all work i didnt do my deb and only ever been to one (a long time ago)

if I cant get seperate tickets how should I play it.
  • go along by self, and upset my partner
  • convince my second born to change her list
  • get a ticket for partner and roll the dice it all turns to s**t
  • not go at all
  • other ?
 

MWPP

Mischief Managed
Jul 5, 2011
33,503
56,733
The Stadium in the Sky
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
NZ, Scorchers, Las Vegas Bears
if I cant get seperate tickets how should I play it.
  • go along by self, and upset my partner
  • convince my second born to change her list
  • get a ticket for partner and roll the dice it all turns to sh*t
  • not go at all
  • other ?
Go by yourself . For your own sake and your child, unless you want to let down your child . I would hope that your partner would understand that you’ve tried to get separate tickets (by chatting to both your ex and your child, and even trying for additional tickets on a separate table which on face value seems like the most feasible solution )
 

ash_1050

Premiership Player
Nov 21, 2009
4,040
7,685
Melbourne
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
Melbourne Victory and Arsenal
  • go along by self, and upset my partner
  • convince my second born to change her list
  • get a ticket for partner and roll the dice it all turns to sh*t
  • not go at all
  • other ?

Not the best situation to be in, but the right decision would be to go by yourself. It's your daughter's night, and if you go with any other option it's only going to escalate things and possibly ruin the night for her. The last thing you want is your kid feeling like she's being used as a pawn if you stamp your feet and demand your partner comes along as well at the expense of an already invited family member.
 

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The Sultan

Norm Smith Medallist
Mar 29, 2007
5,307
5,669
Rand McNally
AFL Club
Carlton
Update 2.0… organising my own table, and now my mum and step dad, both brothers and their wives and my cousin and his wife are coming. We nearly have a full table of our own, and my family is good fun.

Has gone from it nearly me being on my own (excluding my kids) to it being with my most of my family. Looking forward to it now.
 

Perth gal

Premiership Player
Oct 19, 2015
4,817
4,569
AFL Club
West Coast
Update 2.0… organising my own table, and now my mum and step dad, both brothers and their wives and my cousin and his wife are coming. We nearly have a full table of our own, and my family is good fun.

Has gone from it nearly me being on my own (excluding my kids) to it being with my most of my family. Looking forward to it now.
Enjoy....
 

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