Perfect long term relationships that go sour

Remove this Banner Ad

dave123 said:
Well done ...the pain showed you cared and loved

I've come to realise that my wife like the money I was making .....she could afford things she liked and I'm not a money driven person ..Can't buy happiness

The kids will see through her bullshit
Click to expand...
oh the money....

I'm at the stage of my career where I'm making a good wage, not quite 6 figures but getting close. my ex hasn't had a full time job since pre kids. the amount of whinging I've heard about how she can't afford this and that, but she won't get off her fat ass to get a proper job. it's a joke

meanwhile, I'm good enough to pay all the child support in the world, yet I'm the bad guy because she's broke
 
dave123 said:
Today I had a great day searching for stuff for my new place

I just said on Facebook which I rarely go on that I needed a washing machine in working order

Low and behold an old bloke who is going onto a retirement village had one .....$65 for a full working nec with electric dash ....plus a nice pine coffee table for ten bucks

The aim is do venture as cheap as possible and the spend some extra on a decent Tv ....nice Sony led lcd smart tv for 995 in Harvey Norman has caught my eye. Plus a ps4. F...k if I'm going I'm going out with some dignity and style. I said to the ex is that ok and she said yes. Foxtel will get hooked up and it will be a nice man cave feel to the place. Looking forward to it already.

Scored heaps of pans and wok for 50 cents from the op shop.

I have a question ...the lawn mower is mine and whipper snipper. She is saying she will get Gardener in to do it

I get a discount of $10 per week on rent by doing lawns .....ten bucks is ten bucks ...all good

I'm thinking I should offer to do her lawns for 30 bucks and spray weeds....offer to do 2 hours per month ....that thirty bucks wil come in handy. So I'm saving $70 bucks per month .....hey that's Foxtell just about

I don't mind doing lawns ....I'll agree to do them when she's not here ....should I do it ? I'm not doing it for free!
Click to expand...
Are you in Melbourne Dave?
 

Log in to remove this ad.

I've just had a bit of a thought, its kinda related to the breakup, and post breakup life.

about 3 months ago I downloaded tinder and thought that it would be easy, everyone that I'd talked to had said this much, and I thought sure why not, give it a go, have some fun, get yourself out there etc.

the first night, I swiped right until my like limit got reached, fantastic, now we play the waiting game. nothing.. did the same the next night, nothing again.. continued for a week and I finally got a match. fantastic. now how do I do this, do I just say hi and hope they reply, or do I crack a joke or what.. decided saying hi and hope she is having a nice night was a good way to go, go the gentleman angle since that's kinda the way I want myself viewed.

I waited patiently for a reply, didn't come..

I got another match in the mean time, and we talked for a few hours. Great! Lets go on a date, she agreed! We met the next night, and we had a nice night. I drove her home and we had a little kiss in the car. Fantastic, this old dog still has it. Text her the next day, see if she wants to do something on the weekend. Get a reply saying she isn't interested and wished me luck. bugger, oh well, that happens, lets get back out there and see happens.

I did get that reply from the first match, 2 weeks after I initially said hello. the reply was "uggghh, no thanks, you're too ugly for me"

I can't remember what her name was, I'll likely never have anything to do with her again. but that was easily the most hurtful thing I've ever had said to me. I've been called fat, I've had my personality made fun of, I've had my surname made fun of (those who know me in real life would understand that having a surname like mine which sounds like genitalia would have been great during high school), I've had nearly every aspect of myself made fun of, but I never got called ugly. I never considered myself an ugly guy, but since that point, I've questioned my looks. am I not good enough for a girl to like?

I uninstalled tinder that night because it hurt too much. it made me cry. that weekend I had a break down. I can remember 2am on Saturday morning, I was going to do it.. i got in my car and started driving towards the bolte bridge with the intention of throwing myself off it. one little sentence broke me.

I'm glad I didn't do it. While I don't like myself, I couldn't do that to my kids.

I went to my doctor Saturday morning after about 15 mins sleep and pleaded with him to help. he got my psych on the phone and we talked through it. my sessions I'd had with him previously I hadn't presented a guy who appeared to have massive problems. That one phone call changed that.

One thing I did that weekend was plead with my exwife to tell me why she fell out of love with me. She refused to give me an answer. To this day, I still don't know. I don't care anymore.

I'm better now, but getting called ugly that first time - and looking in the mirror and believing it - made me realise how alone I was.

I now realise being alone is ok, it sucks but it could be worse.

Thanks for reading again. Sorry for the rant of sorts
 
Mr_Smooth said:
I've just had a bit of a thought, its kinda related to the breakup, and post breakup life.

about 3 months ago I downloaded tinder and thought that it would be easy, everyone that I'd talked to had said this much, and I thought sure why not, give it a go, have some fun, get yourself out there etc.

the first night, I swiped right until my like limit got reached, fantastic, now we play the waiting game. nothing.. did the same the next night, nothing again.. continued for a week and I finally got a match. fantastic. now how do I do this, do I just say hi and hope they reply, or do I crack a joke or what.. decided saying hi and hope she is having a nice night was a good way to go, go the gentleman angle since that's kinda the way I want myself viewed.

I waited patiently for a reply, didn't come..

I got another match in the mean time, and we talked for a few hours. Great! Lets go on a date, she agreed! We met the next night, and we had a nice night. I drove her home and we had a little kiss in the car. Fantastic, this old dog still has it. Text her the next day, see if she wants to do something on the weekend. Get a reply saying she isn't interested and wished me luck. bugger, oh well, that happens, lets get back out there and see happens.

I did get that reply from the first match, 2 weeks after I initially said hello. the reply was "uggghh, no thanks, you're too ugly for me"

I can't remember what her name was, I'll likely never have anything to do with her again. but that was easily the most hurtful thing I've ever had said to me. I've been called fat, I've had my personality made fun of, I've had my surname made fun of (those who know me in real life would understand that having a surname like mine which sounds like genitalia would have been great during high school), I've had nearly every aspect of myself made fun of, but I never got called ugly. I never considered myself an ugly guy, but since that point, I've questioned my looks. am I not good enough for a girl to like?

I uninstalled tinder that night because it hurt too much. it made me cry. that weekend I had a break down. I can remember 2am on Saturday morning, I was going to do it.. i got in my car and started driving towards the bolte bridge with the intention of throwing myself off it. one little sentence broke me.

I'm glad I didn't do it. While I don't like myself, I couldn't do that to my kids.

I went to my doctor Saturday morning after about 15 mins sleep and pleaded with him to help. he got my psych on the phone and we talked through it. my sessions I'd had with him previously I hadn't presented a guy who appeared to have massive problems. That one phone call changed that.

One thing I did that weekend was plead with my exwife to tell me why she fell out of love with me. She refused to give me an answer. To this day, I still don't know. I don't care anymore.

I'm better now, but getting called ugly that first time - and looking in the mirror and believing it - made me realise how alone I was.

I now realise being alone is ok, it sucks but it could be worse.

Thanks for reading again. Sorry for the rant of sorts
Click to expand...


Your seeking approval from people is fraught with danger on social media sites

It's being based on one thing ....looks. I'm not any social media being used for dating but it really is t smart way to go. Go and join a group where like minded people meet instead of people scouring tinder for attention

Being rejected constantly will deflate your self confidence even more ...be patient ...learn to like and accept the way you are. Do,some hobbies and find like minded people while doing those hobbies
 
Mr_Smooth said:
I've just had a bit of a thought, its kinda related to the breakup, and post breakup life.

about 3 months ago I downloaded tinder and thought that it would be easy, everyone that I'd talked to had said this much, and I thought sure why not, give it a go, have some fun, get yourself out there etc.

the first night, I swiped right until my like limit got reached, fantastic, now we play the waiting game. nothing.. did the same the next night, nothing again.. continued for a week and I finally got a match. fantastic. now how do I do this, do I just say hi and hope they reply, or do I crack a joke or what.. decided saying hi and hope she is having a nice night was a good way to go, go the gentleman angle since that's kinda the way I want myself viewed.

I waited patiently for a reply, didn't come..

I got another match in the mean time, and we talked for a few hours. Great! Lets go on a date, she agreed! We met the next night, and we had a nice night. I drove her home and we had a little kiss in the car. Fantastic, this old dog still has it. Text her the next day, see if she wants to do something on the weekend. Get a reply saying she isn't interested and wished me luck. bugger, oh well, that happens, lets get back out there and see happens.

I did get that reply from the first match, 2 weeks after I initially said hello. the reply was "uggghh, no thanks, you're too ugly for me"

I can't remember what her name was, I'll likely never have anything to do with her again. but that was easily the most hurtful thing I've ever had said to me. I've been called fat, I've had my personality made fun of, I've had my surname made fun of (those who know me in real life would understand that having a surname like mine which sounds like genitalia would have been great during high school), I've had nearly every aspect of myself made fun of, but I never got called ugly. I never considered myself an ugly guy, but since that point, I've questioned my looks. am I not good enough for a girl to like?

I uninstalled tinder that night because it hurt too much. it made me cry. that weekend I had a break down. I can remember 2am on Saturday morning, I was going to do it.. i got in my car and started driving towards the bolte bridge with the intention of throwing myself off it. one little sentence broke me.

I'm glad I didn't do it. While I don't like myself, I couldn't do that to my kids.

I went to my doctor Saturday morning after about 15 mins sleep and pleaded with him to help. he got my psych on the phone and we talked through it. my sessions I'd had with him previously I hadn't presented a guy who appeared to have massive problems. That one phone call changed that.

One thing I did that weekend was plead with my exwife to tell me why she fell out of love with me. She refused to give me an answer. To this day, I still don't know. I don't care anymore.

I'm better now, but getting called ugly that first time - and looking in the mirror and believing it - made me realise how alone I was.

I now realise being alone is ok, it sucks but it could be worse.

Thanks for reading again. Sorry for the rant of sorts
Click to expand...
Hey mate, I don't have anything to really add or any really helpful advice, but I read this post mindlessly browsing bigfooty and I just wanted to say you can't let little things like that get to you and I'm glad you chose the right option in the end. The problem with tinder is that it's an inherently shallow platform and not at all a good option if your confidence is fragile as it would be after a break up. There's plenty of other options out there and I've seen mates go through similar things, sure they won't find someone else only to have it happen when they least expect it. Glad to hear you are getting the right help, talking it out with someone who knows what they're doing is always the right way to go. Sincerely, random bloke on the internet.
 
TassieSaint said:
Hey mate, I don't have anything to really add or any really helpful advice, but I read this post mindlessly browsing bigfooty and I just wanted to say you can't let little things like that get to you and I'm glad you chose the right option in the end. The problem with tinder is that it's an inherently shallow platform and not at all a good option if your confidence is fragile as it would be after a break up. There's plenty of other options out there and I've seen mates go through similar things, sure they won't find someone else only to have it happen when they least expect it. Glad to hear you are getting the right help, talking it out with someone who knows what they're doing is always the right way to go. Sincerely, random bloke on the internet.
Click to expand...


Every bit of advice helps .....I think getting a broad perspective really helps

Thanks for your valuable input. On issues like this your opinion is just as valid as a person with a PH.D. in psychology
 
GreyCrow said:
I have tried some online dating and I find the shallowness surprising. But I don't let it bother me. Just amused at the ''if you don't have a photo don't message me'' from women without photos.

:D
Click to expand...


It can work

I gave some hot dates lined up with my ....

Kayak, golf clubs, bike, ps4 and cooking ....going to love life again and not even looking

Online dating is not my thing
 
Mr_Smooth said:
My ex told me shes got a partner tonight. I'm broken.
Click to expand...
Oh im so sorry for you. Thats the news i think we all fear.

I mean we all know Everyone will move on. And you know its going to happen. But it just cant be prepared for. And sucks major ass.

Hang in there bud.
 
Last edited:

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Mr_Smooth said:
My ex told me shes got a partner tonight. I'm broken.
Click to expand...

That's tough

Try to remember though you will be better without her

If she's rubbing your nose in then limit contact if possible

You're a good man and don't forget that ...her deciosn will have affect her ...your decisions will affect you
 
Shell said:
Will you stop saying "get on tinder". Tinder isn't for ****ing everyone, I couldnt be less interested in that s**t.

(yes I know you werent saying it to me in that post- but you have in the past. And I'm sick of it)

/end rant.
Click to expand...

Internet dating must suck. I'm old fashioned, I purchased a wife. Still got her.

Mr Smooth, go for the more mature sites, I think plentyoffish worked well for him. Avoid rootsnearme dot com :D
 
Mr_Smooth said:
My ex told me shes got a partner tonight. I'm broken.
Click to expand...
I hope you are doing ok tonight/today. I have nothing but comfort for you. The best advice I heard was

'' you will wake up every day and she will be the 1st thought of your day. Don't let it bother you. One day you will wake up and she will be the 2nd thing you think of. Don't let that bother you either. One day you wont think of her and you will hate yourself. Don't. ''

 
Shell said:
My op shop is the friggin best!!! Never knew it- just walked past there the other day, it looks like any other shop and doesnt smell too bad. :D

I will definitely go back.
Click to expand...
Salvos were a godsend. Still have most of the furniture from there.
 
Shell said:
It's scary af. Dates are basically job interviews with alcohol. They're horrible.
Click to expand...

And the dating profile is the CV.

dave123 said:
Try not drinking

Sounds odd I know ......be yourself

Try coffee dates or a walk date .....don't think traditional
Click to expand...

They can be just as awkward.

I reckon if you are a drinker then just drink. (not excessively). As is you enjoy a drink now and again may as well be yourself.

I was on one date where I was tacitly called a misogynistic alco.

My crime? Ordering a beer at 1pm on a Sunday and mentioning that I had seen the latest Bond movie when the topic came up.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Purple7x08_24
Post your recent accomplishments (Things that you can feel great about)
Replies
5
Views
464
PowerfulPies2023
PowerfulPies2023
Wormkilla
Got a goal to lose 10kg in 4 months
Replies
1
Views
614
Shell
Shell

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top