Prediction Player Claim 2018: Ben Reid - limbs are temporary, class is permanent

[Quicky]

A few posters have PM'd me to say their mattress life has improved because they pretend they are Ben

Better than the Carlton fans pretending they are Dorotich

That doesn't surprise me.

It reminds me of that famous Bruce Lee quote:

Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water. Now you put water in a cup, it becomes the cup; You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle; You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.

Just like Bruce being water; if you just be Ben, my friend, it stands to reason that you become a tantric master. You become the All Australian and Premiership hero of everyday life.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Just like Bruce being water; if you just be Ben, my friend, it stands to reason that you become a tantric master. You become the All Australian and Premiership hero of everyday life.

Quicky, I was thinking of handing this thread over to PieBeast

Am reconsidering - think you get the essence of Ben

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Hi Guys, Ben Reid Premiership Hero and Fallen Warrior here!

My first thought on getting injured again was 'F*ck it!!' I know how much happiness I bring to Collingwood fans and the broader football-loving public. Dad tells me that many people fondly had Fitzroy as their second favourite team. I guess I have become the Fitzroy of players, except I am one man, and I am not extinct. Roughy said pure jealousy is the only reason I am not voted 'favourite player' by the other players.

Lying on my bed - the site of Olympic love-making with the WAG - I have again turned to the consolations of philosophy. Adam Oxley brought me a picture book copy of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (I suspect Ox also knocked off my pain meds but it could have been The Dominator when he came over to clean the pool). Anyway, Aurelius the Philosopher-Warrior-King said: 'You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.'

This guy is unbelievably wise. And he starred in Gladiator with Russell Crowe. So, I can't control the injuries which would have crushed all those softcocks at Melbourne, but I can control my thoughts. And I know Ben Reid will be back again to entertain all of you with his courageous marking and tracer bullet kicks.

Go Collingwood and watch us thrash Brisbane on Sunday!

 

[Frank Gallagher]

Probably time to hang them up 'if' this latest injury is significant.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Probably time to hang them up 'if' this latest injury is significant.

Neither of us are quitters Franky.

Remember when you failed your Parking Rangers' exam for the third time? What did you do? You worked harder and nailed that sucker. And now you are booking more Mums waiting for their kids after school than anyone.

Hold your nerve, I'll be back - Ben.

 

[Kilmo]

Probably time to hang them up 'if' this latest injury is significant.

Nope

Averaging 5.2 marks and 1.6 goals a game is not bad this season. Pretty handy CHB too.

Play on Reidy, we love you

 

[Saintly Viewed]

A few posters have PM'd me to say their mattress life has improved because they pretend they are Ben

Better than the Carlton fans pretending they are Dorotich

so let’s not mention Brodie



Holland

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Quicky, I was thinking of handing this thread over to PieBeast

Am reconsidering - think you get the essence of Ben

How is your leg injury going?

 

[CFC2010]

How is your leg injury going?

 

[Bored_Pie]

He'll be back. Hopefully not out for too long.

 

[jmac70]

Hi Guys, Ben Reid Premiership Hero and Fallen Warrior here!

My first thought on getting injured again was 'F*ck it!!' I know how much happiness I bring to Collingwood fans and the broader football-loving public. Dad tells me that many people fondly had Fitzroy as their second favourite team. I guess I have become the Fitzroy of players, except I am one man, and I am not extinct. Roughy said pure jealousy is the only reason I am not voted 'favourite player' by the other players.

Lying on my bed - the site of Olympic love-making with the WAG - I have again turned to the consolations of philosophy. Adam Oxley brought me a picture book copy of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (I suspect Ox also knocked off my pain meds but it could have been The Dominator when he came over to clean the pool). Anyway, Aurelius the Philosopher-Warrior-King said: 'You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.'

This guy is unbelievably wise. And he starred in Gladiator with Russell Crowe. So, I can't control the injuries which would have crushed all those softcocks at Melbourne, but I can control my thoughts. And I know Ben Reid will be back again to entertain all of you with his courageous marking and tracer bullet kicks.

Go Collingwood and watch us thrash Brisbane on Sunday!

Stay strong Ben, we love you.

PS - is there any chance you could grow your hair back during your contemplations of the universe? It worked for Sampson.

 

[76woodenspooners]

Probably time to hang them up 'if' this latest injury is significant.

Hey Saintly Viewed , would you believe that the Internet doesn’t have an animated gif of the curtain going up around the horse???

#googlefail

 

[Vicky Park]

Adam Oxley brought me a picture book copy of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (I suspect Ox also knocked off my pain meds but it could have been The Dominator when he came over to clean the pool).

Walter, I have a cartoon version of this classic, which I can provide to Ben if it helps with his comprehension.

And please pass this to Ben:

Being serious, I hope its not a long term injury, and wish Ben all the best.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Hey Saintly Viewed , would you believe that the Internet doesn’t have an animated gif of the curtain going up around the horse???

#googlefail

Internet fail!

 

[domus]

Apparently he will only miss two weeks.

 

[CFC2010]

Apparently he will only miss two weeks.

Someone needs to tell Frankie G

 

[legendstatus]

Probably time to hang them up 'if' this latest injury is significant.

Have to agree, unfortunately the Reid brothers have a doomed injury gene. Retire or traded along with JDG and pick up some good picks or trades


Sent from my Warped mind

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Walter, I have a cartoon version of this classic, which I can provide to Ben if it helps with his comprehension.

And please pass this to Ben:

Being serious, I hope its not a long term injury, and wish Ben all the best.

A Polar Bear wishing you to get well soon...

Just before it rips you apart and eats you for a snack

 

[BEEG]

Think we will play better without Reid, Collingwood champion and at his best was a star he just isn't that anymore, too slow for the modern game and isn't much chop as a forward.

Looking forward to Moore and Cox.

 

[Frank Gallagher]

Apparently he will only miss two weeks.

Months.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Think we will play better without Reid...

Thanks for contributing to this thread BEEG and I hope you return

A vibrant society is an open one, where everyone has a voice

Including to express opinions that are wrong

Tuesday hugs xx

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Hi Guys, Ben Reid All-Australian, Premiership Hero, Stoic, Love God, and Mentor here!

Have been busy with rehab and mentoring the younger fellas. My boys Coxy and Jaido are coming along nicely while Darce will lose his trampoline hands in coming weeks. Wish we could give Darce Clokey's old sticky gloves that were banned. Stephen Dank told Clokey that he had coated them in a space age polymer developed by NASA. Turns out it was a mixture of sump oil and semen from an unidentified source.

I shouldn't play favourites but it is hard not to when JDG is your protege. He's a budding superstar and off the field he's become a model citizen. Jordy is the little brother I always wanted, not bloody Mark McClure's kid. Far be it for me to take credit for someone else's success, but have a read of this text that Jordy sent me after the game:

'Hey Big Guy, today was lit!! SMASHED it like you said I would!! Every thing you taught me worked - leading patterns, kicking routine, sledging that campaigner Beamsy!! Reckon I'll kick 8 in a game once you are back taking the best defender!! I have some vodka in my water bottle for the flight home!! YOLO!! Luv to you and the WAG!!'

And hasn't Jordy's grammar and spelling improved? Love the kid.

Watch us belt the Cats on Sunday!

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Hey WalterBlaknWhte you really should check out the work of Ben Reid (see above).

Your faux posts, attempts are really reminiscent of Sam McLure Reid.

Look, listen, learn.

Above is pure genius, try to learn from that.

Ps by the way, how’s the avatar coming along?

 

[CFC2010]

Hi Guys, Ben Reid All-Australian, Premiership Hero, Stoic, Love God, and Mentor here!

'Hey Big Guy, today was lit!! SMASHED it like you said I would!! Every thing you taught me worked - leading patterns, kicking routine, sledging that campaigner Beamsy!! Reckon I'll kick 8 in a game once you are back taking the best defender!! I have some vodka in my water bottle for the flight home!! YOLO!! Luv to you and the WAG!!'

And hasn't Jordy's grammar and spelling improved? Love the kid.

Watch us belt the Cats on Sunday!

They grow up so quick Ben. Your mentoring skills came to a fore yesterday. Well done.

Loving the vodka in the water bottle.......I am sure Swanny taught him that little trick.

Speedy recovery mate.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Hi Guys, Ben Reid re-signed All-Australian Premiership Hero here!

I was worried when Dekka was demoted as list manager. Even though he carried his laptop around it was just for playing Angry Birds. Dekka was great at negotiations. He'd turn to Matt Rendell and say, 'Can we afford to pay him that Matty?' Rendell would close one eye and stare upwards and after an interminable pause say, 'think so Dekka, think so.'

Ned Guy freaked everyone out when he joined. First of all the club had to purchase Excel so all player salaries went into a spreadsheet. Perty had a private spreadsheet dedicated to how much drugs he thought each player took but the club's finances were all done on Ed's whiteboard. Ned also had an RMIT maths professor come in and teach percentages to the the football department.

So the WAG and I re-read Malhotra and Bazerman's 'Negotiation Genius' in preparation for my meeting with Ned. I wasn't worried. Sydney had offered me 3 years and GWS offered me 2 years and a coaching gig at the end (100k bonus if I could get Heater to STFU). Needn't have worried. Alongside Ned was Walshy with a bunch of flowers for my WAG and one of those giant cheques they give you when you win a golf tournament (imagine trying to stuff that f*cker in the ATM deposit slot). The club wanted me for 3 years but I insisted on one - am thinking about studying existentialism at the Sorbonne in 2020.

So just in case you missed Ned's presser, cop this:

“Ben has a role to play in the team that everyone — teammates and coaching staff in particular — recognises. His game sense and forward craft help the attack tick,” and “He also has experience to pass on to the likes of Jaidyn, who is starting out on his football journey."

Pretty clear who Ned identifies as Captain of the Forward Line.

Go Collingwood and watch us smash the Doggies on Friday night!