Prediction Player Claim 2018: Ben Reid - limbs are temporary, class is permanent

[Vicky Park]

He’s got at least three more years VP. He will finish as a dual Collingwood premiership player.

I’d love that to be the case, but my faith in Reidy has gone.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Hi Guys, Ben Reid All-Australian and Premiership Hero here!

The club just gave us our 2018 social media training. It was a waste of time apart from having another laugh at those pics of Clokey and Swanny. When you have a rig like mine it is tempting to post it to the world, but my smoking hot WAG would kill me and Robbo would be all over it like I was selling pingers at schoolies (BTW that's not a biz plan JoshyT).

Anyway, think it's time to address some of the pre-season comments about me on this board...

HeathComeBack: 'Reid will be fit all year and dominate'
Obese Arachnid keeps confusing you with some troll but I know who you are: a superstar poster who knows talent.

left at home: 'Reid and Cox will kick 70+ between them'
Correct, I will kick at least 50 and Coxy will kick 25 with my mentoring.

Scodog10: 'but 2018 will be Reid’s last season at Collingwood'
Don't bet on it pretty boy. Think you've rested on your laurels since you were 'Poster of the Year'. Touch of the Daisy?

Ted Parker: 'Reid did enough without setting the World on fire, suspect he was just managing that shaky rig.’
This post was a bit underwhelming Teddy. When you come from the bush you don't laugh at any pyro metaphors. The rig is muscled perfection, not shaky. Stay in Queensland.

Tarkyn_24: 'Ben Reid. Edit: I read this as bald. Sorry.'
When you have as much testosterone coursing through your body as I do it's remarkable that I have single hair on my head. Bit rich coming from a bloke who is under the thumb of his Carlton supporting gf?

legendstatus: 'Reid traded’
GWS wanted me more than Buddy. Why'd I stay? Loyalty. Like to see a bit more loyalty from you this year to your Premiership Hero.

Shade: 'Dunno if its bold or not but this is Ben Reid's last year in the black and white.
It's bold. And wrong.

Darkyprotector: 'Reid to swans'
Thanks Darky, this stuff keeps pushing up my contract price. Sam nearly vomits when he reads these rumours because he knows he'd be off to the NEAFL.

Come along to training if you want to take any of these convos further. No binoculars and laptops, Walshy will rip you a new one.

Go Collingwood!

Leave me alone Ben, she has big thumbs.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Can I hit you with my rhythm stick instead?

Sure thing Blockhead

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Can I hit you with my rhythm stick instead?

Whip it?

 

[mike123]

Ben Reid has played 31 games out of 44 do it mightn't be over yet.

 

[Temploar]

I’d love that to be the case, but my faith in Reidy has gone.

Ben Reid dislikes this.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Ben Reid has played 31 games out of 44 do it mightn't be over yet.

Ben has had stronger endorsements Mike

Nonetheless, thank you for your support

 

[Vicky Park]

Ben Reid has played 31 games out of 44 do it mightn't be over yet.

Yeah, but sadly looked proppy in many of them.

‘Proppy’ definition (an Australian adjective): awkward or stiff in movement, as in "he landed awkwardly early on and looked proppy late in the game"

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Yeah, but sadly looked proppy in many of them.

‘Proppy’ definition (an Australian adjective): awkward or stiff in movement, as in "he landed awkwardly early on and looked proppy late in the game"

If he’s gonna look proppy he may as well channel his inner 1980s Agro rather than Mrs Piggy.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Yeah, but sadly looked proppy in many of them.

Ok VP I know what you're doing here.

This is a test right?

No matter how much you sledge Ben I'm still gonna like you.

PS you almost got a 'like' for parading your colloquial lexicon

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Ok VP I know what you're doing here.

This is a test right?

No matter how much you sledge Ben I'm still gonna like you.

PS you almost got a 'like' for parading your colloquial lexicon

I like that you didn't like for that non likeable post (the first bit)
I like that you still like VP.
I like that you are like Ben Reid or I like that you Ben like us to post here.
I likes.

 

[nahnah]

Yeah, but sadly looked proppy in many of them.

‘Proppy’ definition (an Australian adjective): awkward or stiff in movement, as in "he landed awkwardly early on and looked proppy late in the game"

Agreed, think the process of slowly phasing him out while not rushing McLarty is under way.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Agreed, think the process of slowly phasing him out while not rushing McLarty is under way.

Nahnah, this post symbolises your existential crisis.

IF McLarty wants Warrior Reid's place* he should man-up, carpe diem, and demand to be rushed!

See any parallels with your campaign to be a mod!? At some point you will have to overthrow Anzacday or reconcile to being a Plebiean.

* In any case, Reid is 2018 Captain of the Forward Line, McLarty is going down back

 

[JB1975]

Nahnah, this post symbolises your existential crisis.

IF McLarty wants Warrior Reid's place* he should man-up, carpe diem, and demand to be rushed!

See any parallels with your campaign to be a mod!? At some point you will have to overthrow Anzacday or reconcile to being a Plebiean.

* In any case, Reid is 2018 Captain of the Forward Line, McLarty is going down back

Hmmm, it almost sounded like there might be some dramatic, Freudian-style conflict between Reid and McLarty, which would have made for an interesting pre-season. But no, our receding-hairlined hero has receded to the forward line...

Edit: I posted in haste. Of course Reidy doesn't have a receding hairline, his depletion is one of those far more dignified top-down episodes, the sort of hair loss which wouldn't look out of place in a medieval monastery.

 

[Anzacday]

See any parallels with your campaign to be a mod!? At some point you will have to overthrow Anzacday or reconcile to being a Plebiean.

This page has been intentionally left blank.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

This page has been intentionally left blank.

Might even be your best post yet

.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Of course Reidy doesn't have a receding hairline, his depletion is one of those far more dignified top-down episodes, the sort of hair loss which wouldn't look out of place in a medieval monastery.

I don't speak for Ben, but my guess is your Friar Tuck allusion will displease him.

Also, didn't you confess in the hairdo thread to having grey locks like pubic coir?

 

[JB1975]

I don't speak for Ben, but my guess is your Friar Tuck allusion will displease him.

Also, didn't you confess in the hairdo thread to having grey locks like pubic coir?

I was under the impression that you do speak for Ben. Apologies for my mistake. In any case, I thought that Ben --as an athlete with rare abilities of deep contemplation-- would appreciate my reference to monastic life.

I would be hurt by your reference to my steelo hair if I wasn't so shocked by your memory of my admission. Alas, it is true that I have a head of hair which could be used for scrubbing pots.

 

[Magpie Girl]

I was under the impression that you do speak for Ben. Apologies for my mistake. In any case, I thought that Ben --as an athlete with rare abilities of deep contemplation-- would appreciate my reference to monastic life.

I would be hurt by your reference to my steelo hair if I wasn't so shocked by your memory of my admission. Alas, it is true that I have a head of hair which could be used for scrubbing pots.

At least you have hair

 

[left at home]

Ben will be bald soon, only a matter of time. Not if.

 

[Vicky Park]

It’s not that I don’t like Ben. It’s just that he’s caused me too much pain.

Too many anxious games waiting for his leg/calf/hamstring/ankle to twist/break/bend/snap.

Teasing us with his ballet lessons.

Looking fondly north of the border, where his little bro resides.

Confounding us with his position on the field. Forward or back? Back or forward?

It’s just too hard. I prefer to hang my hat on a straightforward and uncomplicated young bull like Maynard.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

It’s not that I don’t like Ben. It’s just that he’s caused me too much pain.

Too many anxious games waiting for his leg/calf/hamstring/ankle to twist/break/bend/snap.

Teasing us with his ballet lessons.

Looking fondly north of the border, where his little bro resides.

Confounding us with his position on the field. Forward or back? Back or forward?

It’s just too hard. I prefer to hang my hat on a straightforward and uncomplicated young bull like Maynard.

It’s about the hair, isn’t it?

 

[Vicky Park]

It’s about the hair, isn’t it?

Sprung!

(Yes)

 

[JB1975]

At least you have hair

Well Ben has All Australian selection and a premiership medallion to his name, but this thatch which passes for hair is some sort of comfort in the colder months.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Hey Guys, Ben Reid here! All-Australian etc etc you know the rest...

Just waiting for my Smoking Hot WAG to get ready for date night. We were meant to leave an hour ago but I never sweat the small stuff - like having to fly Premium Economy because First or Biz are not available.

Pretty simple for me to get ready: shower, douse myself in Lynx including south of the Equator, and put on a nice shirt, jeans and wheels. Mum organised a cleaning lady, Manuela, who also irons and washes my threads. After 3 years, Mum still doesn't trust her with the ironing so she makes Manuela wear a GoPro and tracks her progress. Sam had a similar arrangement but the little deviant got up to no good with his GoPro and inadvertently shocked the hell out of Mum and Brucey. That campaigner Tommy Harley made Sam close his YouTube account afterwards.

Anyway, because I'm a bit bored while the WAG straightens or curls her hair, I read TradeDraft 's 103,000 posts and stumbled across his gem from the Tay Adam's player claim: 'Adams is our 3 most Important Player behind Reid and Pendles'. So true, Pendles and I have rare silk. Pendles can't clunk a pack mark and doesn't have an easy rapport with the players like me, but I love playing alongside the guy.

My WAG's now ready (looking beautiful as ever) so enjoy your night and Go Collingwood!