Polygamy

[Catfish Alley]

Surely having two or three girlfriends will be quite common in the future.

Why do you think that? And why not multiple boyfriends for the women?

 

[La Dispute]

Why do you think that? And why not multiple boyfriends for the women?

Biological imperative to procreate aka multiple partners without cheating. I'd assume it'd be similar for women.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Is there some sort of fertility crisis I'm not aware of?

 

[La Dispute]

You can't just have everything.

People who think this will work subscribe to the notion they will have the best of every partner: a girl who loves you in the morning, one who is artistic and interesting, one who is sexy af and pulls off tight dresses, one who is blonde and one who is brunette... one who loves a night out and one who wants to sit inside and make a nice dinner... it doesn't work like that. You can't just get the best of everything.

A relationship is teamwork. It's about the good and the bad - getting over things, being a team.


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More than 70% of adults cheat on their spouse. Clearly their is something a little off with the status quo if most people don't abide by that fundamental principle of being in a relationship.

We're already seeing more open relationships/people with multiple partners (usually with a main partner) and young people especially living the bachelor lifestyle far beyond the normal age for settling down and getting married. The trend isn't going to begin going the other way.

 

[Catfish Alley]

More than 70% of adults cheat on their spouse.

What are the parameters on this? If the question is just 'have you slept with anybody else?', then that number will keep increasing if open marriages are becoming more popular like you say.

 

[Golden_6]

This is definitely something that will become normal and accepted by society, whether it's in 50 years or 200 years. Times have changed and infidelity is very common in a lot of relationships. People always say 'if you love someone, you would never cheat on them'. In my view, you can certainly love someone and have sexual desires for other people, which in a day and age with dating apps and other easily accessible avenues means that cheating is just a push of a button away. It's just a very taboo area for a lot of people.

Has anyone seen the TV series You Me Her?

 

[Catfish Alley]

Polygamy isn't going to stop cheating. Those that want to cheat will keep on doing it. Then you'll have others who would stay loyal to their two wives or whatever.

Don't see it becoming a thing. Marriage numbers will probably keep declining for a bit though. More people seem to be happy staying single.

 

[Shell]

Srs q is srs- why do people cheat, if you've cheated.

I've never cheated.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

I don't have the time or the energy to disappoint two women.

If it was two guys she could be twice as disappointed with you putting in half the effort.

Seriously, if people want to conduct their affairs that way why should the law get in the way? Its not going to do anyone any harm. The old supply and demand thing leaving many without spouses is based on polygamy being only "one male, many female" in male dominant societies. The opposite would be valid, as would more than two of the same sex. The one gender drought wouldn't necessarily be greatly affected in the longer term (the only issue would be religious, where certain religions - not just Islam - allow polygamy only as one male, multiple female). That would likely see a skewing that way.

Its somewhat radical for now, and the legal issues are vastly more complex than extending two-person marriage to include same-gender. Divorce, inheritance, family payments, etc. laws would need a major overhaul s they assume a person has only one legal spouse.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

Srs q is srs- why do people cheat, if you've cheated.

I've never cheated.

Because they can?

 

[Shell]

Because they can?

Was looking for something a little deeper actually

 

[SugarShane]

If it was two guys she could be twice as disappointed with you putting in half the effort.

Brb, gonna talk to the wife about polygamy.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

Was looking for something a little deeper actually

And that might be part of your answer in the case of why some women cheat.

 

[Gralin]

Srs q is srs- why do people cheat, if you've cheated.

I've never cheated.

I wanted to win at Monopoly

 

[HairyO]

Srs q is srs- why do people cheat, if you've cheated.

I've never cheated.

Me either. But in my experience it was being miserable and not wanting to face reality and not wanting to lose the gravy train.

 

[Procrastinator35]

Srs q is srs- why do people cheat, if you've cheated.

I've never cheated.

Hard to generalize in most cases, though there's a definitive neurotic component involved.

Parental love or a lack thereof seems an all too common thematic also.

 

[Pea Nut]

Srs q is srs- why do people cheat, if you've cheated.

I've never cheated.

Cos sex.

 

[Plugger35]

I conducted a Survivor style vote amongst my 10 wives about this thread.

I've been voted off the island 6-4, thanks a f***ing lot.

My time will come on Redemption Island

 

[Run n Spread]

Srs q is srs- why do people cheat, if you've cheated.

I've never cheated.

2 things. 1 humans have not been built for Monogamy (or to a point to ensure a man supports his child early, a man knows a child is his) which is why relationships are 2-5 years, 7 year itch etc.

2. Nobody is ever really honest. About what they want or have done so you really don't know exact numbers. What I mean is when people are attracting a partner, in a relationship they will hold something back about themselves or not disclose fully for fear of either not getting anywhere or nuking the relationship. Also things change. So if someone is no longer attracted to a partner/is pissed off or has a sudden need to sleep around what do they tell their partner? Or tell anything at all?

People also aren't honest themselves. May go along with something because of doubts and years later regret it. Or just do things on the sly. Plus you have relationship issues etc.

I've actually never cheated either but in certain circumstances can sort of understand why some people might. Not everything is black and white.

Also in some cultures it is tacitly accepted. Not saying this leads to good outcomes either but there really is

 

[Shell]

Tbh was hoping for people who actually have cheated to reply. But fair enough answer.

Also in some cultures it is tacitly accepted. Not saying this leads to good outcomes either but there really is

I know every situation/relationship is different. Imho I couldnt give a shit if say my partner went out and screwed someone- potentially anyway. It's more the emotional stuff I would consider cheating/a threat on the relationship.

 

[craigos]

My girlfriend told me not too long ago that she knows I wouldn't haven an affair behind her back because I'm brutally honest and couldn't be arsed with all the effort you'd have to put in to carry it on.

Pretty sure she was mocking me looking back now.

 

[katana]

More than 70% of adults cheat on their spouse. Clearly their is something a little off with the status quo if most people don't abide by that fundamental principle of being in a relationship.

We're already seeing more open relationships/people with multiple partners (usually with a main partner) and young people especially living the bachelor lifestyle far beyond the normal age for settling down and getting married. The trend isn't going to begin going the other way.

where does that 70% figure come from? it's a bit ridiculous to equivocate drunken hookups to long-term affairs with multiple partners - which is what we're talking about in the polygamy debate. reckon plenty of people might've had a fight with their partner, weren't feeling to good about things at the time and circumstances just went the way of the person doing something they ultimately regretted.

 

[JackOutback]

Imho I couldnt give a shit if say my partner went out and screwed someone- potentially anyway. It's more the emotional stuff I would consider cheating/a threat on the relationship.

I've always said to my wife, if she wanted to screw someone she was attracted to, she should just tell me and do it. Sex can just be harmless fun and repressing desires and emotions just to meet some social ideal is a bit silly. As you say, emotional cheating, such as lying, is going to be far more damaging.

 

[Shell]

I've always said to my wife, if she wanted to screw someone she was attracted to, she should just tell me and do it. Sex can just be harmless fun and repressing desires and emotions just to meet some social ideal is a bit silly. As you say, emotional cheating, such as lying, is going to be far more damaging.

Completely agree with you- you'd have to have some pretty clear rules and expectations in place tho. What did she say to that?? My ex wasn't into that at all, so had to respect that.

 

[JackOutback]

Completely agree with you- you'd have to have some pretty clear rules and expectations in place tho. What did she say to that?? My ex wasn't into that at all, so had to respect that.

We're at the stage in our lives and relationship where nothing is likely to come of it, but in theory she is happy with that. She likewise knows that if I was tempted, nothing would happen without her knowledge or approval.