The fallout from Sloane leaving and resultant implosion will be elite. Since they left, these former superstars immediately transformed:
- Phil Davis is now Phil Davi$
- Gunston is now a mummy's boy
- Dangerfield is FIGJAM and made the Crows midfield worse somehow (possibly due to the acquisition of emerging superstar Dean Gore)
- Nathan Bock is a drug addict
- Kurt Tippet is now the worst bloke of all time
- Jake Lever is possibly the worst of them all for some reason, and made baby Jesus cry. Something about his face.
- In addition and as a generality, if any have partners they are succubus who also forced them to leave. Also these guys all literally couldn't say no because of money.
My guess is, following his announcement to move the Rory Sloane god worship will break down over the course of a few days along three key themes
- THE PLAYER: Rory is weak and can't handle a tag anyway
- THE CHARACTER: Dangerfield got in his ear, he's impressionable, not a leader, no wonder Tex The Big Texan Texas Walker was made captain etc.
- THE PARTNER: Belinda has him by the balls and she's put her career over him winning a premiership, selfish.
Nigel will fight against every screaming urge in his body and send him a B&F invite, only for Tex to go round his house and hide his car keys the night before. Sloane leaves in acrimony, Fagan makes a passive aggressive tweet, a brief nationwide light is again shone on the cultureless corp which is swept under the rug locally, Crows pick up a late first round pick (later described as "brave" in Size 72 font on page 1 of the Powertiser), David Mackay retires and is automatically appointed a development coach, a swamp tier SANFL side get their 15 mins of fame by blaming it on Port, the latest CEY equivalent will be ordained the second coming, and the wheel goes round again.