Janus
Advocatus Diaboli
- Sep 9, 2007
- 23,350
- 57,117
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
- Other Teams
- Dallas Cowboys, Chicago Bulls
"We're scared. There's going to be 10,000 Adelaide fans at the game that think we're not good enough. You know what? Maybe we ain't."
"All of you feel like that? For 147 years in this state, the Port fan has been spit upon, kicked, dragged through the mud...but there are two things I can tell you. Number one: Win or lose, we're going to play finals. And number two...pfft, we're going to win! It's just that plain and ******* simple! We're going to win!"
"But that forward line has Eddy Betts..."
"What game are we playing?"
"Football."
"Who is their best two midfielders?"
"Sloane and Crouch?"
"Exactly! We've got Gray, Powell-Pepper, Wines, Ebert...they've got Sloane and Crouch...this is football...am I speaking ******* Chinese? I mean come on people, our percentage is over 180%!"
"But that was against two contested teams..."
"That's the point! We're going to kill these front runners! As long as we're out on the field, we're going to score more points than them. That's just the way football works!"
"But look at their forward structure..."
"Forward structure?! It doesn't matter! It's all the same when you're some plodder midfield that has to rely on smoke and mirrors with endurance running to make out like they have speed. Speaking of endurance - Ebert...come up here Ebert....tell them, what is your beep test?"
"I don't know...16...maybe 17..."
"17? Three quarters of them wouldn't even reach 14!"
*Adelaide fans walk in*
"Well, well, well...you Poort fans going to play football or what? What's the matter, did you realise you don't belong in finals after all?"
"That's right. Finals are for good, honest Adelaide fans. Not for Poort fans! You hearing me, Poorts! We fly as one! We fly as one!"
*They continue chanting as they leave*
"Man Janus, they look tough!"
"Ooh I'm so scared! One of their players might bounce the ball all the way up the field and then kick the ball to their half forward line...and you know what's going to happen then? Jonas is going to spoil that s**t, handpass to Hartlett and he's going to ram the ball 60m right down Dixon's mother******* throat! How many times do I have to tell you - their midfield is crap, ours is good...this ain't rugby!"
"Guys...I think what Janus is trying to say is the key word is structure!"
"No! The key word is their mids are crap, ours are not!"
"So you're saying if we just trust in the work we've done over preseason..."
"Preseason?! We almost beat these clowns with 8 players out last year, and one of those players was Hombsch! Our defensive shape is better. We've got Powell-Pepper and ******* Ryder!"
*Someone starts a slow clap*
"Cut that slow clap bullshit out! It tries my mother******* patience! Go out there and believe we'll win!"
"All of you feel like that? For 147 years in this state, the Port fan has been spit upon, kicked, dragged through the mud...but there are two things I can tell you. Number one: Win or lose, we're going to play finals. And number two...pfft, we're going to win! It's just that plain and ******* simple! We're going to win!"
"But that forward line has Eddy Betts..."
"What game are we playing?"
"Football."
"Who is their best two midfielders?"
"Sloane and Crouch?"
"Exactly! We've got Gray, Powell-Pepper, Wines, Ebert...they've got Sloane and Crouch...this is football...am I speaking ******* Chinese? I mean come on people, our percentage is over 180%!"
"But that was against two contested teams..."
"That's the point! We're going to kill these front runners! As long as we're out on the field, we're going to score more points than them. That's just the way football works!"
"But look at their forward structure..."
"Forward structure?! It doesn't matter! It's all the same when you're some plodder midfield that has to rely on smoke and mirrors with endurance running to make out like they have speed. Speaking of endurance - Ebert...come up here Ebert....tell them, what is your beep test?"
"I don't know...16...maybe 17..."
"17? Three quarters of them wouldn't even reach 14!"
*Adelaide fans walk in*
"Well, well, well...you Poort fans going to play football or what? What's the matter, did you realise you don't belong in finals after all?"
"That's right. Finals are for good, honest Adelaide fans. Not for Poort fans! You hearing me, Poorts! We fly as one! We fly as one!"
*They continue chanting as they leave*
"Man Janus, they look tough!"
"Ooh I'm so scared! One of their players might bounce the ball all the way up the field and then kick the ball to their half forward line...and you know what's going to happen then? Jonas is going to spoil that s**t, handpass to Hartlett and he's going to ram the ball 60m right down Dixon's mother******* throat! How many times do I have to tell you - their midfield is crap, ours is good...this ain't rugby!"
"Guys...I think what Janus is trying to say is the key word is structure!"
"No! The key word is their mids are crap, ours are not!"
"So you're saying if we just trust in the work we've done over preseason..."
"Preseason?! We almost beat these clowns with 8 players out last year, and one of those players was Hombsch! Our defensive shape is better. We've got Powell-Pepper and ******* Ryder!"
*Someone starts a slow clap*
"Cut that slow clap bullshit out! It tries my mother******* patience! Go out there and believe we'll win!"
