- Jun 7, 2015
- 7,075
- 13,824
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
Not doing a big preview this time (but may add some actual facts later today), need to get some s**t done and noticed no gameday thread yet.
Looked at the ABC website, read a story about how Geelong stumbled over the line yesterday, and my motivation to finish top is strengthened.
The triple whammy is there for the taking:
1. Finish top and win the trophy no one can spell or remember the name of - go on - try without checking
2. Send the Figjams into a week of 4 walled isolation in rooms where every door leads to a bathroom or is guarded - a necessity for certain Figjamers
3. The out of form cats always lose after a bye, does the long break leave them one long break short of a set, who knows but it does
We all know the classic Orwellian novel, no not the one about trading freedom for security *cough* no its only a cold *cough*, the one about all being equal with some being more equal than others. They say "The Club" was the first literary work written about the Figjamers, but my sources advise me the George Orwell was a Collingwood fan and based that classic work on the goings on in the Victorian Football League at the time.
So anyway, its Gameday (is it really) - didn't the weekend just finish - oh yeh we get to play in primetime against the football royalty that don't get out of bed on Sundays.
When you sit there tonight watching this game, wrap an old maggies scarf around your neck, try on that old duffle coat, you know the one that has 26, 5 or 7 on its back and some old Paul Belton badge still pinned to its front, put on those old [Rocker Boots | Ripples], think carefully about how our 150 years don't matter because they didn't happen in the garden state surrounded by Dermie, Jezza, Pig, Plugga and all the other VFL/AFL somebodies, and watch us pull down the pants and wipe the floor with these faux magpies.
Pay particular attention to the commentators, they will be so excited in the first quarter, it will all be about that deserved home final against the dogs out on the golf course on the Gold Coast, then once the rot sets in those wonderful orators will nervously look at each other while wondering what Eddie would like them to say next.
Oh yeh, they will remember, we have to make sure as many of those Portz Powerz get 2 week suspensions as possible, in case we play them again in their hovel, "can we see that replay again", "that one will be looked into" they will bookmark for the MC, doing his job as much as possible while securing theirs. Who knows, maybe they will fly the "Lord of the Spoons" up to the gold (one of the colours on their logo) coast to apply his certain brand of Portz envy to the boundary to get that one last advantage, lol we will get their own haters to smother them, "its not #VICBIAS then" they will cleverly surmise at their secret VFL only meetings while sucking down their inferior lattes served by meter maids, hah we got em again those hic fools.
Oh yeh this was going to be short....
Cmon Port, 150th year. no excuses, lets put the Figjam on toast and send them to their Escher maze of bathrooms while catching the Point Breakers on their bye. No excuses, win it for those of us that have their football mortality in the spotlight and those who soon will be. They bloody well deserve to be one bookend of our first 150 years of success.
And also win it for a certain player we still owe a premiership to.
So lets bolt the roobar onto the front of our JMac truck and put the pedal to the floor full mad Max style.
Go Ports.
Us by enough that the result can't be manipulated by 5 shots in front of goal in the last quarter.
PS - I don't just have a chip on my shoulder, since that first game at the MCG in 1997 I've been growing a teal coloured forest there.
Its chainsaw time.
PSS - Bring back the bars, no not the ones you can't visit on Swanston street, the real ones.
Looked at the ABC website, read a story about how Geelong stumbled over the line yesterday, and my motivation to finish top is strengthened.
The triple whammy is there for the taking:
1. Finish top and win the trophy no one can spell or remember the name of - go on - try without checking
2. Send the Figjams into a week of 4 walled isolation in rooms where every door leads to a bathroom or is guarded - a necessity for certain Figjamers
3. The out of form cats always lose after a bye, does the long break leave them one long break short of a set, who knows but it does
We all know the classic Orwellian novel, no not the one about trading freedom for security *cough* no its only a cold *cough*, the one about all being equal with some being more equal than others. They say "The Club" was the first literary work written about the Figjamers, but my sources advise me the George Orwell was a Collingwood fan and based that classic work on the goings on in the Victorian Football League at the time.
So anyway, its Gameday (is it really) - didn't the weekend just finish - oh yeh we get to play in primetime against the football royalty that don't get out of bed on Sundays.
When you sit there tonight watching this game, wrap an old maggies scarf around your neck, try on that old duffle coat, you know the one that has 26, 5 or 7 on its back and some old Paul Belton badge still pinned to its front, put on those old [Rocker Boots | Ripples], think carefully about how our 150 years don't matter because they didn't happen in the garden state surrounded by Dermie, Jezza, Pig, Plugga and all the other VFL/AFL somebodies, and watch us pull down the pants and wipe the floor with these faux magpies.
Pay particular attention to the commentators, they will be so excited in the first quarter, it will all be about that deserved home final against the dogs out on the golf course on the Gold Coast, then once the rot sets in those wonderful orators will nervously look at each other while wondering what Eddie would like them to say next.
Oh yeh, they will remember, we have to make sure as many of those Portz Powerz get 2 week suspensions as possible, in case we play them again in their hovel, "can we see that replay again", "that one will be looked into" they will bookmark for the MC, doing his job as much as possible while securing theirs. Who knows, maybe they will fly the "Lord of the Spoons" up to the gold (one of the colours on their logo) coast to apply his certain brand of Portz envy to the boundary to get that one last advantage, lol we will get their own haters to smother them, "its not #VICBIAS then" they will cleverly surmise at their secret VFL only meetings while sucking down their inferior lattes served by meter maids, hah we got em again those hic fools.
Oh yeh this was going to be short....
Cmon Port, 150th year. no excuses, lets put the Figjam on toast and send them to their Escher maze of bathrooms while catching the Point Breakers on their bye. No excuses, win it for those of us that have their football mortality in the spotlight and those who soon will be. They bloody well deserve to be one bookend of our first 150 years of success.
And also win it for a certain player we still owe a premiership to.
So lets bolt the roobar onto the front of our JMac truck and put the pedal to the floor full mad Max style.
Go Ports.
Us by enough that the result can't be manipulated by 5 shots in front of goal in the last quarter.
PS - I don't just have a chip on my shoulder, since that first game at the MCG in 1997 I've been growing a teal coloured forest there.
Its chainsaw time.
PSS - Bring back the bars, no not the ones you can't visit on Swanston street, the real ones.
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