Media PSYQ - The Mental Side of the Sweet F.A.

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

​

Welcome to the Psychological Sciences Yardstick of Qootballers, where we look beyond the exceptional physical prowess of our Sweet F.A. athletes, and cast our eyes upon their formidable and diverse minds. Whether it's assessing the next move out of a precarious, congested skirmish, or navigating complex social conundrums such as "no u", the Modern Qootballing brain is equipped to flourish in all manner of conditions. Here at PSYQ, we hope to observe these abilities in real-time by offering a series of highly empirical tasks, and drawing irrefutable conclusions from the responses therein.

These cutting-edge practices are being adopted increasingly by qootball departments across the league- be that in recruiting, development, or match-day capacities. Perhaps you've been playing in the wrong position all this time? Maybe your routine is not ideal, or your understanding of your teammates not yet where it could be. To help harness such utilities, we present three tests which have been ringingly given longstanding endorsement by the Industry, and are truly above professional reproach.

• The Rorschach Test
• Word Association
• MYSTERY ROUND

Guiding us through all the way are some experts of the field who each bring with them great and varied knowledge. Apologies from TheCoach16, who as a psychiatric practitioner saw his participation in the exercise as a poor moral fit.



TheCoach16 taking my name down for the authorities.


The remaining three had little issue trampling the ethical underpinning of their positions.



PhenomenalV1 - Trusted League Doctor



BRAB - 57 Degrees



The Jesus - The Greatest Healer of All Time

Appointments are not necessary as these practitioners will be offering their pro bono services at all hours! Our first session will begin presently- please enjoy and remain considerate of others.


1. The Rorschach Test

a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
f)
g)
h)​

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

1. a)

​

 

[PhenomenalV1]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

Isn't that the mask of that guy from Watchmen?

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

Isn't that the mask of that guy from Watchmen?

Do you betray the answers of all your tests to your patients?

 

[PhenomenalV1]

Do you betray the answers of all your tests to your patients?

...my doctorate may not be legitimate...

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

...my doctorate may not be legitimate...

Mate you have the hardest hair to photoshop in the league it's too late to tell me this.

 

[manangatang]

Mate you have the hardest hair to photoshop in the league it's too late to tell me this.

Lol.

 

[PhenomenalV1]

Mate you have the hardest hair to photoshop in the league it's too late to tell me this.

Well, I'm committed to the project now...

 

[Dav]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

I see BRAB and Nunez harassing me.

 

[manangatang]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

I see the foaming muzzle of some scornful beast, approaching with the intention of maiming my person after I have fallen into a pit of my own existential despair.

 

[manangatang]

... but maybe that’s just me?

 

[Jivlain]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

I see two squid exchanging spermatangia. Their genders are unclear from this vantage point.

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

I see BRAB and Nunez harassing me.

How long have you had these feelings of inadequacy?

I see the foaming muzzle of some scornful beast, approaching with the intention of maiming my person after I have fallen into a pit of my own existential despair.

How long have you known my ex-wife?

 

[Dav]

How long have you had these feelings of inadequacy?

I have an inferiority complex.

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

I see two squid exchanging spermatangia. Their genders are unclear from this vantage point.

If I told you they were both female, how angry would you expect God to be?

 

[Jivlain]

If I told you they were both female, how angry would you expect God to be?

I'm sure He'd be cool with it, having made them that way.

 

[Noobz0r]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

I had to wear that during my 'Eyes Wide Shut' initiation process to get onto the Hawks list.

 

[Paddles_]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

A pelvis?

 

[Yakker]

I see the otoliths of a Flathead. Appears to be approximately 9 years of age. Had yabbies as it's last meal.

 

[Yakker]

The Jesus look out behind you, old mate is trying to steal your sandals!!!

 

[Restricted Free Agent]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

What pokemon is that?

 

[Barrybran]

The Jesus look out behind you, old mate is trying to steal your sandals!!!

You think he'd just wait until the crucifixion

 

[Ned_Flanders]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

Bert Newton

 

[Barrybran]

1. a)

View attachment 577272 ​

I see guns. Old guns. Guns from the Wild West. The kind of guns I'll be using this weekend playing Red Dead Redemption 2.

 

[Nunez]

I see BRAB and Nunez harassing me.

Of course you do.