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Standing on a really crowded peak our train this morning, there's an a-hole sitting on the floor with his legs out taking up enough room for 2 more people.

The other women standing against the door gets off, so I sidle back to her spot next to the door, cooly turn away from old mate sitting on the floor... and drop a silent but deadly no more than a foot away from his head.

It was among the most satisfying farts I've done in ages.
 
A homeless man hops on the bus yesterday and proceeded to ask everyone for money. It's a pretty good idea when no one can escape you until it's their stop but I legitimately had no cash. Not sure I'd have given him any when he reeked of booze and clearly annoyed everyone but have to give credit for that idea rather than just sitting on the street where people just glide by.
 

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Standing on a really crowded peak our train this morning, there's an a-hole sitting on the floor with his legs out taking up enough room for 2 more people.

The other women standing against the door gets off, so I sidle back to her spot next to the door, cooly turn away from old mate sitting on the floor... and drop a silent but deadly no more than a foot away from his head.

It was among the most satisfying farts I've done in ages.

Surely sitting on the floor legs out is a safety issue.


A homeless man hops on the bus yesterday and proceeded to ask everyone for money. It's a pretty good idea when no one can escape you until it's their stop but I legitimately had no cash. Not sure I'd have given him any when he reeked of booze and clearly annoyed everyone but have to give credit for that idea rather than just sitting on the street where people just glide by.

Agreem give him credit for that. He's using money (myki) to make money.
 
Has anyone heard of the travelling in the shoes of others program that PTV does? Pardon the pun, but it's an eye opener.

You have a go at simulating a vision impairment and mobility impairment and have to navigate from the city to a location and back, train/tram/bus and try seemingly simple tasks, like finding out the balance on your myki from the ticket office, finding a tram that is wheelchair accessible (and then coming up with a plan B to get to your destination, when you can't) and getting your bearings in the disabled toilets (literally figuring out where anything is, let alone what condition the bathrooms are in, as someone who is vision impaired - can you imagine how uneasy you'd feel about using public bathrooms when you have no idea what state they're in as you sit down?). And then the stares from everyone on the tram or train as you wheel yourself on, everybody is watching you.

The activity all up went for about two hours, we always had an expert supporter with us (e.g. someone from guide dogs Australia, or an occupational therapist, so we were never in any real danger of coming to grief), but it was so mentally and physically draining that it's hard to put into words. Certainly gave me a bit of a 'first world problems' style wake up call and I don't think I'll ever do a subtle eye roll again when I have the 'misfortune' of having a wheelchair user getting on to my already pretty packed carriage.

If you have a chance, do it.
 
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To the person who threw up all over my bus last night. I hope you're alright, but also, isn't it a bit early to be piss drunk at 8:30?
 
Loud phone talker on the tram tonight. Middle aged bloke in a suit. Narking up because he's not scored an invite to a work Xmas lunch!?

Sounded like an utter flog, just the way he was speaking the whole time. I wouldn't have invited him to my Xmas lunch either. "Well, y know Bruce has always had an inferiority complex when it comes to me". Seriously, what sort of flog says this type of s**t in public?

At one point he almost yells down the phone "It's a simple yes or no question. Do you respect me?" Bloke from down the end of the tram yells out: "NO!"
It was hilarious. :D
 
Loud phone talker on the tram tonight. Middle aged bloke in a suit. Narking up because he's not scored an invite to a work Xmas lunch!?

Sounded like an utter flog, just the way he was speaking the whole time. I wouldn't have invited him to my Xmas lunch either. "Well, y know Bruce has always had an inferiority complex when it comes to me". Seriously, what sort of flog says this type of s**t in public?

At one point he almost yells down the phone "It's a simple yes or no question. Do you respect me?" Bloke from down the end of the tram yells out: "NO!"
It was hilarious. :D

That is brilliant.

What did the bloke on the phone do?
 

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Yesterday, I had the rare privilege of sharing not one, but two tram rides with a self professed member of the Aryan Brotherhood.
 
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Went to the Kings game - train replacement buses along the Richmond line due to trackwork (Sydney, not Melbourne).

These buses were late or non existent, driven by maniacs who thought they were rally drivers taking the kerb or roundabout waaaaay too closely, and filled with passengers who inadvertently regaled us with stories about getting their septum pieced, the proper way to get coloured tattoos, their junkie mothers and fellow junkies ringing up and abusing them, why there is a suburb named Prospect, why they missed the sign that said Prospect, and singing really poorly. In-between constant snorting or sniffing.

It took me 90 minutes getting to the game on two buses and 2 hours getting back from the game. It is quicker driving there. Thank god I didn't pay any fares, as the club did a deal with Transport NSW for free public transport to and from games.

Next time I will simply get a P1 parking pass for the whole season - both NBL and BBL.
 
one thing I've always wondered.
With Myki, what mechanism would prevent you from touching on at your local, completing your travel, and then touching off at the next nearest station on the return home?

So,


A B C

Touching on at location A
Journeying to location C
Returning and touching off at location B
 
once it's gone longer than 2 hours it will automatically 'complete' your journey with the assumption you made the longest possibly journey

If you are on a tram, you do not need to touch off, everything is in zone 1 (with the one exception being Bundoora and the very end of the 86 line)
 
Not a story but so bloody over these trainworks and therefore packed trains on other lines due to multiple lines being out of service. Wouldn't they think to run more services on Glen Waverley line given that Frankston Cranbourne Pakenham are all out and many people take this line instead? Nah instead pack the train more and make more money absolute *******s
 
once it's gone longer than 2 hours it will automatically 'complete' your journey with the assumption you made the longest possibly journey

If you are on a tram, you do not need to touch off, everything is in zone 1 (with the one exception being Bundoora and the very end of the 86 line)
And the 75 & 109.

Although don't leave it to time out on V/Line. After the conductor resets the default fare you end up going to the end of that service for the longest journey.
 
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Why is the person who aggressively takes the pushing the open door button responsibilities quicker than Didier Drogba to a spot kick (showing just how much of a hurry they're in by pushing the button repeatedly while the train is still slowing down to a halt) invariably the one who ends up fluffing it once the door actually beeps and then end up waiting one or two seconds to complete the process?
 

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