Health R U OK?

[Smoooothy]

Are you okay?

Yes. I am. Thank you

 

[CazC30]

Yes. I am. Thank you

All good

 

[Silent Alarm]

The idea of the day in theory isn't so bad but I just find the way they do it, especially at my work, wishy washy bullshit, especially coming from the admin team, who you know couldn't really give a s**t, and if you dropped dead tomorrow would just replace you and forget you ever existed.

Yeah exactly, and we live in a society where companies don't give a * about you. You can be downtrodden, shittest of the s**t, working a job you hate with people you don't gel with, and they put on this front just to give off the impression they're good guys.

Also, depression is ****ed. But not as many people have it as they think. We are humans and we have down periods. We aren't manufactured to be completely happy all the time. People feel s**t for a few weeks and see it as a symptom. No, it's up and down, that is the reality of existence.

Not to mention... well... if a co-worker came to me and said, 'hey man... I feel really low... I want to kill myself sometimes...' well what can I say? I'm sorry? Hey dude, wanna chat about it? The reality is most people have their own dramas and do not have the time to entertain yours. Not to mention I am not a registered shrink nor have I done any real research or schooling in the field. A mate told me he was depressed once and I didn't know what to say. People routinely tell me s**t, both at work and as friends, and I listen and like to think I give good advice... but ultimately, what can I say to help? What can I do? A relative stranger at work won't do s**t and tbh how could they?

 

[Silent Alarm]

It's the same for any day that proclaims to 'raise awareness'

the average person doesn't know how to handle a depressed friend or family member, and although they have the best intentions and want to see you healthy and happy, they also subconsciously perhaps (like everyone) don't really want to know the specifics of your sadness.

this is why i re-iterate the post I made 2 years ago. if you feel compelled to talk about it (emphasis on if) then do so with someone who has received tertiary qualifications in the mental health field, and is licenced to prescribe medication.

Even if someone I had known for years came to me... I'd tell their folks or get them involved with a doctor. I guess that isn't a bad thing but sheesh.

There are genuine cases of depression out there but these days it's so common to jump on it like a bandwagon.

You only have to look at the AFL. You root someone you shouldn't have? Depression. You take way too much coke and everyone knows? Mental health. It's a get out of a jail cause. I know people who have said they're depressed and a week later never mention it again and are incredibly happy, have a better job, have a great home life... never a *in peep again. Those with serious issues are so down and trodden they're not going to 'open up' or ask for help.

 

[ioppolo]

It shouldn't take singling out a day for people to ask if you're ok (assuming you're not yourself or seem very off). I ask my mates if they're right when they don't seem so, whenever that may be. My work did a wanky RUOK thing today, ironic given our current group of bosses (yes, bosses, lol) are the most narcissistic I've ever worked with.

 

[mr bagcroft]

I feel its dicing with intense karma to play the mental health card when you know its not the case just to get yourself a leave pass out of some s**t you got yourself into. Very very bad karma. And you should feel eternally guilty for all the genuine sufferers out there.
Hello G.Lyon?

 

[ioppolo]

I feel its dicing with intense karma to play the mental health card when you know its not the case just to get yourself a leave pass out of some s**t you got yourself into. Very very bad karma. And you should feel eternally guilty for all the genuine sufferers out there.
Hello G.Lyon?

Yeah it's such a touchy subject that no one dare says anything even when someone's playing it up. I had a down period that lasted a good 6-7 months. I refused to go to a doctor because I knew it'd pass eventually. I made a few different choices and changes and I'm better off now.

 

[craigos]

It's the same for any day that proclaims to 'raise awareness'

the average person doesn't know how to handle a depressed friend or family member, and although they have the best intentions and want to see you healthy and happy, they also subconsciously perhaps (like everyone) don't really want to know the specifics of your sadness.

this is why i re-iterate the post I made 2 years ago. if you feel compelled to talk about it (emphasis on if) then do so with someone who has received tertiary qualifications in the mental health field, and is licenced to prescribe medication.

Would like to add, once went and saw a psychologist after the passing of a close friend. This guy was qualified and very personable. The only issue was he was good looking, well dressed and (obviously) intelligent. Not sure why but but I reckon I'd have been more open to listening to someone a little more messed up. Like at least ugly as all hell so I know they've had some issues growing up, not that good looking people can't be messed up but ya feel me?

 

[perthblue]

Would like to add, once went and saw a psychologist after the passing of a close friend. This guy was qualified and very personable. The only issue was he was good looking, well dressed and (obviously) intelligent. Not sure why but but I reckon I'd have been more open to listening to someone a little more messed up. Like at least ugly as all hell so I know they've had some issues growing up, not that good looking people can't be messed up but ya feel me?

maybe its part of the counselling. sexual arousal and lust replaces the grief.

 

[craigos]

maybe its part of the counselling. sexual arousal and lust replaces the grief.

Worked for Tony Soprano I guess.

 

[perthblue]

Yeah exactly, and we live in a society where companies don't give a **** about you. You can be downtrodden, shittest of the s**t, working a job you hate with people you don't gel with, and they put on this front just to give off the impression they're good guys.

Also, depression is ******. But not as many people have it as they think. We are humans and we have down periods. We aren't manufactured to be completely happy all the time. People feel s**t for a few weeks and see it as a symptom. No, it's up and down, that is the reality of existence.

Not to mention... well... if a co-worker came to me and said, 'hey man... I feel really low... I want to kill myself sometimes...' well what can I say? I'm sorry? Hey dude, wanna chat about it? The reality is most people have their own dramas and do not have the time to entertain yours. Not to mention I am not a registered shrink nor have I done any real research or schooling in the field. A mate told me he was depressed once and I didn't know what to say. People routinely tell me s**t, both at work and as friends, and I listen and like to think I give good advice... but ultimately, what can I say to help? What can I do? A relative stranger at work won't do s**t and tbh how could they?

If someone confessed to me that they were depressed or feeling suicidal, I would thank them for opening up, ask them if they wanna go grab a cinammon latte and discuss it, and ultimately tell them to speak to a professional. I don't mind having friends vent at me about how s**t their job is or how annoying their family is or something, because I vent too. But if somebody has actual issues and wants to unload them on me, is it selfish to say that I don't actually want to know all the details? Obviously there are different levels, but some people have gone through some serious s**t and if somebody opened up to me about genuine trauma they've suffered I honestly would be lost for words, and in turn they'd probably feel dumb for saying anything.

 

[TheMightyEagles]

Yeah exactly, and we live in a society where companies don't give a **** about you. You can be downtrodden, shittest of the s**t, working a job you hate with people you don't gel with, and they put on this front just to give off the impression they're good guys.

Totally agree. The day itself may have started with good intentions but its become a opportunity for HR to virtual signal. It's the same stuff that politicians do. Pretend they care about people, but in reality its all about campaigning for status and attention (two sides of the same coin).

 

[Silent Alarm]

If someone confessed to me that they were depressed or feeling suicidal, I would thank them for opening up, ask them if they wanna go grab a cinammon latte and discuss it, and ultimately tell them to speak to a professional. I don't mind having friends vent at me about how s**t their job is or how annoying their family is or something, because I vent too. But if somebody has actual issues and wants to unload them on me, is it selfish to say that I don't actually want to know all the details? Obviously there are different levels, but some people have gone through some serious s**t and if somebody opened up to me about genuine trauma they've suffered I honestly would be lost for words, and in turn they'd probably feel dumb for saying anything.

I can't even remember the context but I remember I was about 16, 17. A mate of mine from early on had a bit of a screwy mum and she'd go off for weekends and obviously everyone in our loose sort of crew went there. Was sort of a coming of age house where you'd rock up with six Coopers, there'd be boys and girls, few hook ups with some shittily put up fairy lights, and then walk home singing songs with whoever lived in the suburbs near you. Anyway, I don't even recall who it was (have a vague idea though) but I remember sitting against this Colorbond fence and they told me out of a random teenage 'D&M' (one of the great Myspace era phrases, that) how they'd been molested. I don't know the details and I'm really thankful for that because I'm sure they woke up regretting it and I remember they told me in strict confidence because 'SA, you seem to always know everything about everyone.' But yeah I just remember giving some advice and that was it.

I don't mind good mates coming and talking about the general anxiety of life because we all suffer through it and as peers of a worsening world, we need our friends. I like to think the end resolution is a good life and a 'ahh * it, could be worse.' And if someone has an issue they feel scared of letting anyone else into, I too would listen. But unfortunately a lot of people are not as down, out, and depressed as they think they are.

I worked with a dude earlier this year who was a real up and down personality. Would be really excitable and affable to anyone coming up: old women, younger girls, all sorts. He was able to placate situations and had a pretty endearing cheek to him that I think people liked. But so often he'd come in and start telling me about how his old girlfriend was a prostitute, or how his nanna had died, and he'd tell me all of this and even tell customers he'd never seen before about it. Like the dude just loved unloading on people. What do you say to that? 'I'm sorry?' He'd go into this spiral of 'man, thing is... she's like a love I'll never lose... my heart breaks...' like some sort of Columbine diary entry. As I said, he was not a bad person at all but fmd he just went on and on and it was more awkward than anything. I don't think I needed to know and definitely random people coming in didn't either.

 

[Richard Pryor]

Just a nice thought rather than a practical thing. Realistically the only thing some acquaintance is going to be able to do is tell me "Hang in there buddy" or something to that effect which is useless.

 

[La Dispute]

The idea of the day in theory isn't so bad but I just find the way they do it, especially at my work, wishy washy bullshit, especially coming from the admin team, who you know couldn't really give a s**t, and if you dropped dead tomorrow would just replace you and forget you ever existed.

Our workplace made a big song and dance about it this year. We got cupcakes with 'R U OK' embossed on the top, everyone was encouraged to wear yellow and we had team managers come up and give us all the old 'R U OK?' periodically during the day. These are people who after three or four midori and lemonades will start openly gossiping about fellow employees - especially those who are new the company and still haven't got a handle on everything - and are some of the most patronising and cynical people I know.

The bottom line (interesting term w/r/t this topic) is most people aren't that nice and truly caring people are hard to come by.

I'm a big proponent of raising mental health awareness, and basically think tuning into how people are feeling is fundamentally a good thing but R U OK is such a low baseline. I'd rather be happy and healthy rather than 'OK, not bad, could be worse.' Being OK just sounds like you're just coping, hanging in there or something.

People go through their ups and downs, but realistically their are far more good things in life than bad things. I think this Louis CK clip puts it pretty well:

 

[Demosthenes]

It shouldn't take singling out a day for people to ask if you're ok (assuming you're not yourself or seem very off). I ask my mates if they're right when they don't seem so, whenever that may be.

Isn't this is the point - that you can't always tell when someone might be struggling?

RUOK Day is a bit wanky, but it provides a reason and trigger to check on people who might otherwise seem fine.

 

[Demosthenes]

The idea of the day in theory isn't so bad but I just find the way they do it, especially at my work, wishy washy bullshit, especially coming from the admin team, who you know couldn't really give a s**t, and if you dropped dead tomorrow would just replace you and forget you ever existed.

I think you probably need to differentiate between systems and people. I have never met a human being who wasn't profoundly affected by the suicide of a colleague, even if their job has necessitated replacing the person quickly for the efficient running of the organisation.