Random Random Chat Thread XL

[DapperDon]

Just finished a physio session on my back, in which my leg was yanked downwards and my hip popped back to where it is supposed to be (didn't know it was out) and my shoulders yanked and my right shoulder popped back into place (didn't know it was out either)

Now I feel a million dollars (well, a ginger million dollars and still quite sore from pressure point stuff) and it only cost me $50

 

[Jade]

Just finished a physio session on my back, in which my leg was yanked downwards and my hip popped back to where it is supposed to be (didn't know it was out) and my shoulders yanked and my right shoulder popped back into place (didn't know it was out either)

Now I feel a million dollars (well, a ginger million dollars and still quite sore from pressure point stuff) and it only cost me $50

Physios can do some ****ed up things.

I remember having four of my vertebrae being put back in place - I swear the sound echoed it was that loud.

 

[DapperDon]

Physios can do some ****** up things.

I remember having four of my vertebrae being put back in place - I swear the sound echoed it was that loud.

Yeah when my hip went back it had a huge pop, it was an odd feeling, feeling the bone scrape bone then fall into place.

 

[Jade]

Yeah when my hip went back it had a huge pop, it was an odd feeling, feeling the bone scrape bone then fall into place.

The only time I've had a hip 'crack' has been unexpected - bloody loud though.

Useless fact of the day, I can crack almost any joint in my body on command.

The knee is the loudest, the nose is the one that freaks everyone out.

 

[Howard Moon]

The only time I've had a hip 'crack' has been unexpected - bloody loud though.

Useless fact of the day, I can crack almost any joint in my body on command.

The knee is the loudest, the nose is the one that freaks everyone out.

you should see him when he cracks the shits

 

[Jade]

you should see him when he cracks the shits

****in LOL'd in the office you campaigner.

 

[Howard Moon]

i've thought of an invention....

we already have uber - you download the app, usually within minutes there will be a car at your door.. its human networking at its best.

Now I know not everyone is scared of spiders...but I am - and im going to go out on a limb and say its up well over 50% of people

Now my app proposal has willing spider killers or shoo away-ers - registering on the app like uber drivers would...




Someone sees a spider on their wall - freaks out.. HELP!

quick, grab me the phone, opens uber spider movers

someone will be here in 3 minutes.

phew, problem solved, I can go on with my day.


whos with me?

 

[Howard Moon]

****in LOL'd in the office you campaigner.

was a massive free hit!

 

[Jade]

was a massive free hit!

Yeah that was a hands down, chin out moment, I grant you...

 

[Lore]

i've thought of an invention....

we already have uber - you download the app, usually within minutes there will be a car at your door.. its human networking at its best.

Now I know not everyone is scared of spiders...but I am - and im going to go out on a limb and say its up well over 50% of people

Now my app proposal has willing spider killers or shoo away-ers - registering on the app like uber drivers would...




Someone sees a spider on their wall - freaks out.. HELP!

quick, grab me the phone, opens uber spider movers

someone will be here in 3 minutes.

phew, problem solved, I can go on with my day.


whos with me?

Depends on the spider. I'm not terrified of them but I ain't going near them if they look capable of running up your leg before you can move your foot. So.. Huntsman spiders of any description, red backs and white tails bigger than a 10c piece and any spider other than a daddy long legs that's bigger than a one dollar coin... call the spiderman asap ASAP. Most of the time though a shoe takes care of the problem more efficiently than anything else If it's small enough, they may even get the mosquito treatment (bare hands).

As far as spiders go I think the second Harry Potter movie is probably one of the scariest movies I've ever seen, in terms of it is probably the thing most likely to give me nightmares :\ Axe murderer? Meh. Slenderman, meh. Gorey war movies... meh. Man-eating shark... meh. But gigantic sentient ****ing spiders and snakes with fangs taller than you are? In the plumbing? Get the **** out.

 

[Howard Moon]

Depends on the spider. I'm not terrified of them but I ain't going near them if they look capable of running up your leg before you can move your foot. So.. Huntsman spiders of any description, red backs and white tails bigger than a 10c piece and any spider other than a daddy long legs that's bigger than a one dollar coin... call the spiderman asap ASAP. Most of the time though a shoe takes care of the problem more efficiently than anything else If it's small enough, they may even get the mosquito treatment (bare hands).

As far as spiders go I think the second Harry Potter movie is probably one of the scariest movies I've ever seen, in terms of it is probably the thing most likely to give me nightmares :\ Axe murderer? Meh. Slenderman, meh. Gorey war movies... meh. Man-eating shark... meh. But gigantic sentient ******* spiders and snakes with fangs taller than you are? In the plumbing? Get the **** out.

ok, so ill call you signed up

 

[Jade]

So in a previous role, I worked in a manufacturing facility that had need for a number of chemical products, and these products were stored in the ingeniously names 'Chemical Rooms'.

Access to these rooms was restricted. You went through two big double doors, which granted access to a long hallway, and there were three large rooms with their own lockable doors on each side of the hallway for a total of six chemical rooms.

As some chemicals are adversely affected by light, both the rooms and hallways are pitch black until you turn the light on.

Now, these rooms had been known to feature a spider or two from time to time. They were cool, humidity controlled and dark, so yeah.

Anyways, in order to not freak people out, any time I would take a supplier down to these rooms, I would also give them a heads up. Just keep your eyes peeled, we sometimes get some spiders on the floor in these rooms - its nothing to worry about but just keep an eye out.

Now as I'm delivering this speech to one supplier, as I'm opening chemical room 2, I step forward in to the pitch black room in order to flick the light on.

My supplier stops dead in his tracks, and manages to get out 'Uhhhhhhh', before the light flicks on.

I flick the switch, and sitting on the floor about a foot away from me is the biggest giant **** off of a black spider I have ever laid eyes on in my entire life. This ****er was not a huntsman, but it was ****ing enormous.

I'm not sure whether it was the light flicking on, or the sudden proximity of my foot, but this thing bolted.

Straight at me.

It hit my boot hard enough that I felt the impact, and the impact somehow managed to 'flick' the thing upwards, and in a split second this eight legged freak was UP THE ****ING LEG OF MY JEANS.

In that split second, as my brain processed the immeasurable horror of what was happening, I've sort of managed to jump and sort of kick the outside of my leg with my other boot - and connect with the horse eating demon creature that was sitting just above my ankle.

Don't ask me how that was logistically possible by the way. It was the outside of my left leg, and somehow I've gotten my right leg around and backwards in order to make contact.

It sort of came out the bottom of my jeans, but was somehow still attached to me, and as I screamed like Jamie Lee did in the presence of Michael Myers, I flicked my leg back and forth, internally wishing for a swift death or amputation, until my hands decided to get involved and I swatted the ****er off me with the notepad in my hands.

tl;dr - I ****ing hate spiders.

 

[Whispering_Jack]

So in a previous role, I worked in a manufacturing facility that had need for a number of chemical products, and these products were stored in the ingeniously names 'Chemical Rooms'.

Access to these rooms was restricted. You went through two big double doors, which granted access to a long hallway, and there were three large rooms with their own lockable doors on each side of the hallway for a total of six chemical rooms.

As some chemicals are adversely affected by light, both the rooms and hallways are pitch black until you turn the light on.

Now, these rooms had been known to feature a spider or two from time to time. They were cool, humidity controlled and dark, so yeah.

Anyways, in order to not freak people out, any time I would take a supplier down to these rooms, I would also give them a heads up. Just keep your eyes peeled, we sometimes get some spiders on the floor in these rooms - its nothing to worry about but just keep an eye out.

Now as I'm delivering this speech to one supplier, as I'm opening chemical room 2, I step forward in to the pitch black room in order to flick the light on.

My supplier stops dead in his tracks, and manages to get out 'Uhhhhhhh', before the light flicks on.

I flick the switch, and sitting on the floor about a foot away from me is the biggest giant **** off of a black spider I have ever laid eyes on in my entire life. This ****** was not a huntsman, but it was ******* enormous.

I'm not sure whether it was the light flicking on, or the sudden proximity of my foot, but this thing bolted.

Straight at me.

It hit my boot hard enough that I felt the impact, and the impact somehow managed to 'flick' the thing upwards, and in a split second this eight legged freak was UP THE ******* LEG OF MY JEANS.

In that split second, as my brain processed the immeasurable horror of what was happening, I've sort of managed to jump and sort of kick the outside of my leg with my other boot - and connect with the horse eating demon creature that was sitting just above my ankle.

Don't ask me how that was logistically possible by the way. It was the outside of my left leg, and somehow I've gotten my right leg around and backwards in order to make contact.

It sort of came out the bottom of my jeans, but was somehow still attached to me, and as I screamed like Jamie Lee did in the presence of Michael Myers, I flicked my leg back and forth, internally wishing for a swift death or amputation, until my hands decided to get involved and I swatted the ****** off me with the notepad in my hands.

tl;dr - I ******* hate spiders.

I'm sure you've shared this story before?

 

[Jade]

I'm sure you've shared this story before?

With it playing in my mind over and over again, I suspect I may have...

 

[Howard Moon]

I hadn't seen it...

Maybe that's the next wave in new recruitment process, they don't ask you "how do you deal with suprise situations?" Or "Can you demonstrate a time you dealt well with pressure or adversity?"

Now, it's more sinple. Just walk with me into this dark room, flick on the light......

 

[Lore]

So in a previous role, I worked in a manufacturing facility that had need for a number of chemical products, and these products were stored in the ingeniously names 'Chemical Rooms'.

Access to these rooms was restricted. You went through two big double doors, which granted access to a long hallway, and there were three large rooms with their own lockable doors on each side of the hallway for a total of six chemical rooms.

As some chemicals are adversely affected by light, both the rooms and hallways are pitch black until you turn the light on.

Now, these rooms had been known to feature a spider or two from time to time. They were cool, humidity controlled and dark, so yeah.

Anyways, in order to not freak people out, any time I would take a supplier down to these rooms, I would also give them a heads up. Just keep your eyes peeled, we sometimes get some spiders on the floor in these rooms - its nothing to worry about but just keep an eye out.

Now as I'm delivering this speech to one supplier, as I'm opening chemical room 2, I step forward in to the pitch black room in order to flick the light on.

My supplier stops dead in his tracks, and manages to get out 'Uhhhhhhh', before the light flicks on.

I flick the switch, and sitting on the floor about a foot away from me is the biggest giant **** off of a black spider I have ever laid eyes on in my entire life. This ****** was not a huntsman, but it was ******* enormous.

I'm not sure whether it was the light flicking on, or the sudden proximity of my foot, but this thing bolted.

Straight at me.

It hit my boot hard enough that I felt the impact, and the impact somehow managed to 'flick' the thing upwards, and in a split second this eight legged freak was UP THE ******* LEG OF MY JEANS.

In that split second, as my brain processed the immeasurable horror of what was happening, I've sort of managed to jump and sort of kick the outside of my leg with my other boot - and connect with the horse eating demon creature that was sitting just above my ankle.

Don't ask me how that was logistically possible by the way. It was the outside of my left leg, and somehow I've gotten my right leg around and backwards in order to make contact.

It sort of came out the bottom of my jeans, but was somehow still attached to me, and as I screamed like Jamie Lee did in the presence of Michael Myers, I flicked my leg back and forth, internally wishing for a swift death or amputation, until my hands decided to get involved and I swatted the ****** off me with the notepad in my hands.

tl;dr - I ******* hate spiders.

I have a similar story that involved standing on the abdomen of a huntsman, barefoot, and the rest of it running up the back of my leg. Freaked out (naturally) and brushed it off with my hand because I unfortunately did not have a notebook handy... the carcass lay in the exact spot it landed for another month afterwards.

I watch where I'm walking a little more carefully these days. :|

 

[Lord Nicholson]

Spiders are to be dispatched with impunity and great prejudice.

 

[Dennis Trumpet]

Daddy long legs can live so long as they stay in the corner.

Everything else gets the shoe

 

[Beerfish]

Little jumping spiders are cool and peacock spiders are amazing.

 

[Lore]

Little jumping spiders are cool and peacock spiders are amazing.

Hmm, it is pretty.

For a spider.

 

[Beerfish]

It's one of nature's marvels. They even do little dances. Never seen a butterfly get down.

 

[Howard Moon]

.....it's no bird of paradise

 

[Mercurial89]

Was driving to my Dad's place late one night and saw a vehicle parked on the side of the road with the driver and back passenger doors open with a chick standing next to it. Country back roads on a pitch black night.
Decided to pull over and check that everything was ok, she shook her head and points to her windshield. On the inside is the biggest spider ive ever seen in real life. Of course me being the complete idiot I am offers to help (what on earth was I thinking).
So here we are in the middle of nowhere searching around for a stick to get rid of it with. Who would have thought, country road, middle of the bush, couldn't find a bloody thing.
Decide to use one of my thongs and with her holding her phone light we try and flick it out of the car. Few cracks at it, bloody critter is running around everywhere, can barely reach it past the steering wheel and so I lose my patience and just try and hit it.

Then its gone.

"did you see it?"
"No"
"how did I flick it past you?, you are standing right there, just be careful it might be on you"

Nothing.
Spent another minute trying to find out where it went. Absolutely no sign of it.

We cant find it, and cant see it in the car. She decides to risk it and drive home, thanks me, I head back to my car and drive off. .
Ive always wondered whether it was still in the car after id left. Actually checked the news the next few days to make sure there hadn't been any accidents along that road.

 

[TheBrightSide]

I was driving home one day, stopped at some lights and looked at the car stopped next to me.
There was a HUGE huntsman inside on the passenger window.
I beeped the horn a few times to try and get the drivers attention.
She was quite attractive, so probably thought it was some horny idiot.
Beeped a few times more, and she refused to acknowledge me, staring straight ahead.
Light went green, and she took off like lightening.

A few km’s down the road, I see her car pulled over, and she’s next to it jumping up and down.
I think she found the spider.

 

[Lord Nicholson]

I was driving home one day, stopped at some lights and looked at the car stopped next to me.
There was a HUGE huntsman inside on the passenger window.
I beeped the horn a few times to try and get the drivers attention.
She was quite attractive, so probably thought it was some horny idiot.
Beeped a few times more, and she refused to acknowledge me, staring straight ahead.
Light went green, and she took off like lightening.

A few km’s down the road, I see her car pulled over, and she’s next to it jumping up and down.
I think she found the spider.

You just wrote the next UltraTune ad