Bumped Random Chat - I want BBQ

[PerfectFooty]

Anyone else lost their report option on posts?

I still have it, just further left away from the options. Closer to the profile

Edit: or wait was it always there? i've never used it

 

[Crimson Azure]

Just bought a new mountain bike which I spent a fortune on. Took it for its first ride today at the You Yangs after picking it up, and it is sick.

What happens? Have a stack and damage it 30 minuets in. I knew at some stage going through rock gardens and on downhill trails it would happen, but not the day I got the bike. Damage is only cosmetic, but why? I blame the Melbourne football club.

Raging right now.

 

[TheDarkDwarf]

Just bought a new mountain bike which I spent a fortune on. Took it for its first ride today at the You Yangs after picking it up, and it is sick.

What happens? Have a stack and damage it 30 minuets in. I knew at some stage going through rock gardens and on downhill trails it would happen, but not the day I got the bike. Damage is only cosmetic, but why? I blame the Melbourne football club.

Raging right now.

See the trick is mate you are supposed to ride the bloody thing, not dance with it!!

 

[Crimson Azure]

See the trick is mate you are supposed to ride the bloody thing, not dance with it!!

Lol, I love when auto correct decides to take over.

 

[Topkent]

Bloke came up to me in the pub the other day asking for coke, said he couldn't getting anything good in Australia. I was getting shitty because I thought he had been put up to it by someone making fun of me accent. After talking for about 5 minutes turned out he was from the same town as me had been to me old man's place and was friends with me brother.

I've met about 6 other Australians in this part of Canada in 7 years so that's crazy.


Then the next day I was at the gym and and a bloke rolls in wearing a Collingwood jumper of the Didak vintage with the TAC sponsorship. Canadian fella but he was obsessed with aussie rules, nice fella but I had to hit him with a barbell.

 

[Toump Ass]

So another question for all: what's the most outrageous lie you've told/ heard?

Late one Sunday balls deep in a bucks party bender, my friend called his boss and declared that his brother had died in a car accident and he was therefore taking the next week off work. The truth was he didn't actually have a brother and decided to go on a ski trip his mates had organised, and in his compromised state this was the best and most appropriate excuse he could come up with.

My mate duly went to Bulla and returned home to a bunch of cards/texts/outpouring of support/prepared meals left at his house, and racked with shame and guilt walked into work, owned up and resigned.

Personally I feel he should have been awarded a promotion. That's some ballsy s**t to pull. Cocaine is great.

 

[Topkent]

So another question for all: what's the most outrageous lie you've told/ heard?

Late one Sunday balls deep in a bucks party bender, my friend called his boss and declared that his brother had died in a car accident and he was therefore taking the next week off work. The truth was he didn't actually have a brother and decided to go on a ski trip his mates had organised, and in his compromised state this was the best and most appropriate excuse he could come up with.

My mate duly went to Bulla and returned home to a bunch of cards/texts/outpouring of support/prepared meals left at his house, and racked with shame and guilt walked into work, owned up and resigned.

Personally I feel he should have been awarded a promotion. That's some ballsy s**t to pull. Cocaine is great.

Probably not an Internet story but when I was younger (like 17) I'd been sleeping with a girl but nothing serious. Few of me mates took her out for a night and they got on the speed. Anyway get a phone call the next day from her mum yelling at me she's dead.
First thing I do is get a hold of the boys involved and try and help them get their stories straight. After a couple more calls from her mum and her BF I get a call from said girl saying she was fine and her mum had made it up because she was a little dehydrated and spent a couple hours in hospital.

 

[Tulip]

Probably not an Internet story but when I was younger (like 17) I'd been sleeping with a girl but nothing serious. Few of me mates took her out for a night and they got on the speed. Anyway get a phone call the next day from her mum yelling at me she's dead.
First thing I do is get a hold of the boys involved and try and help them get their stories straight. After a couple more calls from her mum and her BF I get a call from said girl saying she was fine and her mum had made it up because she was a little dehydrated and spent a couple hours in hospital.

Jesus Christ

 

[Toump Ass]

First thing I do is get a hold of the boys involved and try and help them get their stories straight.

A snapshot of true heroism right here.

If you were still in the country I'd have my nomination for the Order of Australia sorted.

One question though: Why did you answer the phone when the mother of the girl you're shagging called you? Nothing good can come from that.

 

[Topkent]

Jesus Christ

What's wrong with that

 

[Topkent]

A snapshot of true heroism right here.

If you were still in the country I'd have my nomination for the Order of Australia sorted.

One question though: Why did you answer the phone when the mother of the girl you're shagging called you? Nothing good can come from that.

Mate I didn't have her mums number saved in me phone I didn't know who it was..

 

[TheDarkDwarf]

Mate I didn't have her mums number saved in me phone I didn't know who it was..

Seriously, which one were you rooting TK, the mother or the daughter? And don't tell me both of them either, you lucky bastard!!

 

[Topkent]

Seriously, which one were you rooting TK, the mother or the daughter? And don't tell me both of them either, you lucky bastard!!

Just the daughter mate. Mother was more Quinton De Kock than Candice if you catch me drift.

 

[Russian Demon]

I vote Topkent get POTY until retirement or his posts gets him killed


On [device_name] using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Toump Ass]

Mate I didn't have her mums number saved in me phone I didn't know who it was..

Next time just put on a Chinese accent and yell "wrong number! wrong number!" at her until she hangs up.

Or alternatively just deny everything: "Sorry I shag heaps of ladies, you need to be more specific. Oh you mean the dead girl? Never heard of her."

 

[Cannon82]

Canadian fella but he was obsessed with aussie rules, nice fella but I had to hit him with a barbell.

Did he apologize?

 

[Cannon82]

Probably not an Internet story but when I was younger (like 17) I'd been sleeping with a girl but nothing serious. Few of me mates took her out for a night and they got on the speed. Anyway get a phone call the next day from her mum yelling at me she's dead.
First thing I do is get a hold of the boys involved and try and help them get their stories straight. After a couple more calls from her mum and her BF I get a call from said girl saying she was fine and her mum had made it up because she was a little dehydrated and spent a couple hours in hospital.

I kind of rate that. No one likes young people, and I'd imagine being told that some bint you've been touring around has kicked the bucket is going to put a dampener on things.

"MY LITTLE GIRL IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! SHE'S LYING ON A SLAB IN THE MORGUE! I'LL NEVER SEE HER SWEET, SWEET SMILE AGAIN AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!"
*hangs up*
".... Yes, that went well."

 

[PerfectFooty]

Any of you campaigners want to meet up round 1? Cats mate unfortunately has some life problems that stopped him from coming

LeverPuller?

 

[LeverPuller]

Any of you campaigners want to meet up round 1? Cats mate unfortunately has some life problems that stopped him from coming

LeverPuller?

Possibly. Old man probably going now

 

[Proper Gander]

Any of you campaigners want to meet up round 1? Cats mate unfortunately has some life problems that stopped him from coming

LeverPuller?

I hope it’s GAJ that is your mate.

 

[PerfectFooty]

Having the greatest day so far.

- Got up this morning, decided to wash my sheets. Spilt half a bottle of fabric softener on the floor and all over myself (at least i smell nice)
- Put more washing on, went out to centerlink. Then booked my train fares, couldn't afford first class on the vline (i need the leg room) because i had to pay for first class on the booked out XPT (where leg room in economy doesn't matter) because of what i'll blame is the GP's fault.
- Came home, noticed when i spilt the fabric softener i had knocked the drainage pipe out of it's hole. So while i was out the washing machine has spewed water out all over the laundry floor and leaked out into the kitchen and living room carpet. Also caught my bag of training gear which is wet AF

 

[TheDarkDwarf]

Having the greatest day so far.

- Got up this morning, decided to wash my sheets. Spilt half a bottle of fabric softener on the floor and all over myself (at least i smell nice)
- Put more washing on, went out to centerlink. Then booked my train fares, couldn't afford first class on the vline (i need the leg room) because i had to pay for first class on the booked out XPT (where leg room in economy doesn't matter) because of what i'll blame is the GP's fault.
- Came home, noticed when i spilt the fabric softener i had knocked the drainage pipe out of it's hole. So while i was out the washing machine has spewed water out all over the laundry floor and leaked out into the kitchen and living room carpet. Also caught my bag of training gear which is wet AF

This begs the question; what were you doing lying on the floor as you opened some fabric softener? Not doing any washing?

 

[PerfectFooty]

This begs the question; what were you doing lying on the floor as you opened some fabric softener? Not doing any washing?

I placed it on a ledge with the top off, then i saw it tip and tried to save it.

That'd be one way to wash your clothes though

 

[Proper Gander]

I placed it on a ledge with the top off, then i saw it tip and tried to save it.

That'd be one way to wash your clothes though

Very time efficient.

Have you or anyone here ever tried that thing where you iron your clothes while you are actually wearing them? For a number of reasons you shouldn’t try that.

 

[Sando22]

The Poms rolled by NZ in the first innings for 58!