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  • Thread starter Thread starter grizzlym
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I'm feeling exhausted but good. I jump on a plane for warmer shores in the morning. And I'm not back for almost three weeks.
 
grizzlym said:
I'm feeling exhausted but good. I jump on a plane for warmer shores in the morning. And I'm not back for almost three weeks.
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Well done grizz, i am jealous, hope you enjoy your trip, relax have fun. When you get back "THE MIGHTY HAWKS" will be sitting on top of the ladder.
 
grizzlym said:
I'm feeling exhausted but good. I jump on a plane for warmer shores in the morning. And I'm not back for almost three weeks.
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Enjoy the break Grizz
 

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How's this for scary?

An app that lets your baby choose their own name.

Choose away here.
 
The machine that destroys everything.

[YOUTUBE]ibEdgQJEdTA&feature=player_embedded[/YOUTUBE]
 
Stunning pictures of the new Mars Rover robot thing courtesy of Boing Boing.

http://www.boingboing.net/2011/04/06/nasa-mars-science-la.html


Curiosity.jpg

--
 
Via email today:

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wifeJulie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get theblue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck ofit. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was makingmeowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by mybody flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

• My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.

• The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.

• My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.

• My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

• I had no control over the drooling.

• Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.

• I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it! If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
 
grizzlym said:
Via email today:

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution: There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

•
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LOL

Grizz it was not till I re read this and copied for quoting did I realise this wasn't actually you in the above situation.
 
Trying to get into Bitcoin currency right now, seems the wave of the future. They had their first currency crash a few days back, now seems a good time to buy and see if it will recover. Yes, the only thing you can buy off it is Silkroad contraband, but maybe i want to get hold of some Caesium-135 or snort some prescription drugs.
 

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obscura said:
Trying to get into Bitcoin currency right now, seems the wave of the future. They had their first currency crash a few days back, now seems a good time to buy and see if it will recover. Yes, the only thing you can buy off it is Silkroad contraband, but maybe i want to get hold of some Caesium-135 or snort some prescription drugs.
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Been on Silk Road yet?
 
Hey, it isn't all bad. There are certain situations where a pair of live brass knuckles could come in handy. 950,000 volts through your enemy's nervous system.
 
obscura said:
Hey, it isn't all bad. There are certain situations where a pair of live brass knuckles could come in handy. 950,000 volts through your enemy's nervous system.
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Where did you access the silken road from?
 
Thanks, but I'm already on there. There are a few gateways to the land of wonder. Tor has really improved, I got onto it a couple of years back and it clunked along, but now... By the way I dleted because, well the children...
 

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obscura said:
So why did you ask me then? :P

And yes, Tor has a really smooth front-end these days.
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hahaha... didn't phrase my question very well. Just curious of the general portal. There are some other gateways these days.
 
And another via email. I must confess that I've done number 13 and 15 before.


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.


Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.

We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.

This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
 
What is a 'Scum' supporter thinking right now?

Now, this evening I am absolutely exhausted, catching up on tv shows with plenty of time on my hands.

So what do I do? After reading the hawks board here and on the other sites, I decide to go the 'Scum' board, and am I amused.

Last friday, I copped abuse from scum supporters, they will maul us, kill us. In response, I sent them Illinio's round up on you tube. Unfortunately and as expected - no response.

So back to the comedy, read the bombers board. Start with:

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?t=841963

and keep going. They live in envy of the brown and gold. We even have spies there, refer below:



They are a joke, and most importantly, they keep me amused.
 
Bets for R15!

Not sure where to post this, but i thought i start a thread for bets on for R15.

I'll start off, tonight I reckon Melbourne over the Doggies by +15.5. And i'll add to this as the round progresses. Anyways anyone with other bets they would like to share?
 

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