Random Random Thoughts Rebooted

[RW]

2nd head removals, it's a delicate subject, but his highness will handle it.

I feel like you are the real expert around here, it must be all that experience you have!

 

[bedford]

Mean

Most of the students are from overseas.

Next week we are discussing cricket selecton, have arranged a guest

Might be too busy arranging Ricky to coach Cluden 8ths which is close to his Brighton digs.

 

[bedford]

I feel like you are the real expert around here, it must be all that experience you have!

Nothing like good head talk. miggs would vouch for that.

 

[RW]

The King! the bouncer decided to let you back in the bar

 

[GotTheGoodes]

Did my first lecture today, geez felt like a dickhead but got through it

Congrats

 

[The King!]

If you could have 3 wishes come true what would they be

 

[Number37]

If you could have 3 wishes come true what would they be

Only need one wish...unlimited wishes come true.

 

[McEvoy]

If you could have 3 wishes come true what would they be

1. Maintaining my health into old age
2. And the health of my family
3. Living a happy life

 

[Number37]

1. Maintaining my health into old age
2. And the health of my family
3. Living a happy life

You don't need to wish for #3. That is something that you can do yourself.

 

[McEvoy]

I see what you're saying but I don't think it was a wasted wish

 

[Ticky009]

I see what you're saying but I don't think it was a wasted wish

I'd add 'mental health' to 1. Dementia etc is a cruel beast and just heart breaking to deal with for all involved.

 

[The King!]

Only need one wish...unlimited wishes come true.

Ahh you

 

[The King!]

Id wish

1- endless money
2- swans flag every year
3- guarantee my kids successful and happy lives

 

[Number37]

I see what you're saying but I don't think it was a wasted wish

I never said it was a wasted wish.
You can only judge whether, or not, you have had a happy life when it is all over.
Do you judge individual things and keep score so that the happy side of the ledger has more ticks than the other side of the ledger?
Or do you judge it as a whole?

How do you account for things like what makes you happy when you were 20 is different (sometimes the complete opposite) of what makes you happy when you are 40?

 

[Number37]

Id wish

1- endless money
2- swans flag every year
3- guarantee my kids successful and happy lives

It is interesting that you implicitly distinguish between your kids success and their happiness.
A conundrum that every parent faces.

 

[GotTheGoodes]

Id wish

1- endless money
2- swans flag every year
3- guarantee my kids successful and happy lives

Reckon they'd be doing alright if their old man had endless money & was happy all the time (thanks to successive GF flags).

 

[GotTheGoodes]

My 3 wishes would be.

1. Ensure the peak health (& thus survival) of our planet for eternity (i.e. reverse global warming etc).

2. Rid the world of war, famine & disease (getting flexible with this wish, if I had to pick just 1 to eliminate it would be famine).

3. Ensure the health & happiness of those who deserve it. So many times I see good people struck with unimaginable sadness, misfortune or pain. I'd want that only reserved for really really shit people.

 

[The King!]

It is interesting that you implicitly distinguish between your kids success and their happiness.
A conundrum that every parent faces.

To be honest I put very little thought into. Just realised I was being a tad selfish and when I think about it their happiness is a big part of my happiness

I think when I speak of Success I am very much thinking career - more so financial, academic performance, the usual measures and I have (without being arrogant) personally achieved in firstly studies growing up then at university. Then in my career, fast tracked career promotion. But whilst that contributes to the joy and satisfaction of my life and the personal fulfilment it it not always linked to happiness.

I have led a happy life, but that is probably 95% related to other areas of my life, eg meeting wife, girlfriends (pre wife) friends, playing sport (which was only ever a hobby) fun days, trips, activities and of course having kids.

So rightly or wrongly I have always had this clear distinction and drawn a separation in my life, eg once i step out the work door i am back to my normal life in a sense

If that makes any sense.

Regardless I hope they can achieve where they are skilled and where they desire to succeed, but also i hope they are happy. I have seen people rise up the ranks, make money, top the glass and be miserable as shit and people without a pot to piss in happy as larry

 

[The King!]

Heres one

Two parts

1- can people change- not just clothes but more so performance, ability even intelligence

And if you say yes to that then

2- can a leader/manager drive/manage/help people change or not change

 

[GotTheGoodes]

To be honest I put very little thought into. Just realised I was being a tad selfish and when I think about it their happiness is a big part of my happiness

I think when I speak of Success I am very much thinking career - more so financial, academic performance, the usual measures and I have (without being arrogant) personally achieved in firstly studies growing up then at university. Then in my career, fast tracked career promotion. But whilst that contributes to the joy and satisfaction of my life and the personal fulfilment it it not always linked to happiness.

I have led a happy life, but that is probably 95% related to other areas of my life, eg meeting wife, girlfriends (pre wife) friends, playing sport (which was only ever a hobby) fun days, trips, activities and of course having kids.

So rightly or wrongly I have always had this clear distinction and drawn a separation in my life, eg once i step out the work door i am back to my normal life in a sense

If that makes any sense.

Regardless I hope they can achieve where they are skilled and where they desire to succeed, but also i hope they are happy. I have seen people rise up the ranks, make money, top the glass and be miserable as shit and people without a pot to piss in happy as larry

I guess it depends on what you deem as successful.

You can have those measures such as career or academic success. I feel a bit of a fool in that I thought these things meant more than they did. The last few years I think I've found that really I've only ever just been trying to feel fulfilled & happy. The "career" is merely an activity we do to contribute to society & provides us the ability to do those things that fulfil our lives (be that within or external to the career). For me, I let go of my reality & let study/work take my life away from me. I made poor choices & wasn't the person I wanted to be. I can see that & I can fix that now by refocusing on what success is for me. It's not money. It's not working in a flash office or being a big shot. It's about making a positive difference to those who I interact, facing challenges in healthy but effective ways & trying to live a happy, balanced life.

I hope I can look back on my time and say that I was happy & made a positive impact. I'd hate to end up with megabucks but with nothing to show but a life of negativity.

 

[GotTheGoodes]

Heres one

Two parts

1- can people change- not just clothes but more so performance, ability even intelligence

And if you say yes to that then

2- can a leader/manager drive/manage/help people change or not change

I'd say yes, definitely. To both.

Intelligence has so many layers, definitions & aspects, some levels of intelligence are difficult to change but not impossible.

We have only scratched the surface into our understanding of the brain, it's capability & adaptability. I think mental plasticity and aspects of learning/retention etc are far greater than most would initially believe.

What do you think The King! ?

 

[The King!]

I'd say yes, definitely. To both.

Intelligence has so many layers, definitions & aspects, some levels of intelligence are difficult to change but not impossible.

We have only scratched the surface into our understanding of the brain, it's capability & adaptability. I think mental plasticity and aspects of learning/retention etc are far greater than most would initially believe.

What do you think The King! ?

I find it fascinating to be honest with you.

When the question is posed my simple answer is actually nah if you are a bastard then you are a bastard, and I sort of stick by it in the sense that I think People cant change, but a Person can. As a rule people as a whole will always be who they are, but yeah at an individual level you can change.

You have to want to see that change of course, and the way we learn and change evolves as adults and it becomes harder. I saw this study and was skimming it so may have some facts wrong, but this guy lost his right arm and had a fake one put on. He kept feeling horrible pain shooting up the arm afterwards, almost like it was sore from the accident, it was unbearable.

What they did was constructed this open mirror structure that basically he had to put his arm in for X amount of time a day and in doing that he saw the reflection of his arm, long story short he retrained the brain to see that fake arm as his left arm instead of the right, or something like that (memorised it well hey) and the pain went.

In short you can relearn and reteach the brain, there was another one where this awesome bike rider had his bike reconfigured backwards and he had to practice day in day out to do everything the wrong way around then when he could finally ride it he got on the old bike and fell off, had rewired the brain, he got it back quickly but was still interesting.

Can leaders drive change in a person, yep absolutely IMO. Another one I read involved a group of I believe 8 average students being tested and they then told the teachers 4 of them had tremendous promise and would thrive this year but the other 4 did not. Except that they picked the 4 at random.

Sure enough at the end of the year the teacher reported those 4 had done well, much better than the others (again this is me half remembering a story) but the gist was that the teacher believed in them and put that effort and time in them and they thrived.

IF anything you see that a poor leader hampers others more than a good one makes them thrive, in my time in management and HR I have seen people go ohh that guy wont make it, 6 months later when they sack them they will be like yep told you they wouldnt.

Maybe thats what I do to Sam Reid, he must read the board.

Sorry long answer

 

[GotTheGoodes]

I find it fascinating to be honest with you.

When the question is posed my simple answer is actually nah if you are a bastard then you are a bastard, and I sort of stick by it in the sense that I think People cant change, but a Person can. As a rule people as a whole will always be who they are, but yeah at an individual level you can change.

You have to want to see that change of course, and the way we learn and change evolves as adults and it becomes harder. I saw this study and was skimming it so may have some facts wrong, but this guy lost his right arm and had a fake one put on. He kept feeling horrible pain shooting up the arm afterwards, almost like it was sore from the accident, it was unbearable.

What they did was constructed this open mirror structure that basically he had to put his arm in for X amount of time a day and in doing that he saw the reflection of his arm, long story short he retrained the brain to see that fake arm as his left arm instead of the right, or something like that (memorised it well hey) and the pain went.

In short you can relearn and reteach the brain, there was another one where this awesome bike rider had his bike reconfigured backwards and he had to practice day in day out to do everything the wrong way around then when he could finally ride it he got on the old bike and fell off, had rewired the brain, he got it back quickly but was still interesting.

Can leaders drive change in a person, yep absolutely IMO. Another one I read involved a group of I believe 8 average students being tested and they then told the teachers 4 of them had tremendous promise and would thrive this year but the other 4 did not. Except that they picked the 4 at random.

Sure enough at the end of the year the teacher reported those 4 had done well, much better than the others (again this is me half remembering a story) but the gist was that the teacher believed in them and put that effort and time in them and they thrived.

IF anything you see that a poor leader hampers others more than a good one makes them thrive, in my time in management and HR I have seen people go ohh that guy wont make it, 6 months later when they sack them they will be like yep told you they wouldnt.

Maybe thats what I do to Sam Reid, he must read the board.

Sorry long answer

I find the idea that "People cant change, but a Person can" interesting. So are you saying there is an underlying identity so deeply uniquely "us" that can't be changed?

 

[The King!]

I find the idea that "People cant change, but a Person can" interesting. So are you saying there is an underlying identity so deeply uniquely "us" that can't be changed?

In a sense (just my view) that as a collective people do not want to change/feel they cannot (in many cases legitimately so) so never do.

Hence generations of a family in the same area, in the same troubles perhaps

What do you think?

 

[Number37]

In a sense (just my view) that as a collective people do not want to change/feel they cannot (in many cases legitimately so) so never do.

Hence generations of a family in the same area, in the same troubles perhaps

What do you think?

If you don't mind me giving my two bobs worth.
When we look at murderers and bad people in general we tend to think people can't/don't want to change but how many people do you know that say they want to change themselves? Just small things, e.g. be less worried about work and more worried about family. Is that people changing or being their true selves?
Is there a difference between a murderer saying "I want to change" and a career minded person saying "I want to change"?
Anthropologists will tell you that you are a product of your environment so does that mean in order to change you have to change your environment?
I am of the view that people don't change, however, you can change their environment.