FTA-TV Rate the commentators out of 10

[12Chill]

Here's a few I hate...

Brian Taylor = 0/10
"BOY OH BOY WOWEE. DARCE, THE TIGERS HAVE KICKED LAST TWO GOALS AND NOW TRAIL BY JUST 64!!! WE'RE HALFWAY INTO THE LAST QUARTER, THERE'S STILL TIME LEFT!! *INSERT OVER DRAMATIC AND ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A BLOWOUT GAME EXCITING COMMENTS HERE*"

Basil Zempilas = 0/10
Doesn't even know half of the players names (apparently it's Daniel Motlop that plays for Geelong now lol) and is annoying.

Kelly Underwood (is that her name?) = 0/10
Just annoying. Feels the need to say everything in a gruff husky voice.

Bruce McAvaney =1/10
"Mhhhhm dericious mhhhhhm what a lovely looking cut of a young man he is mhmmm derishies!!! Mhmmm CYRIL!"

 

[TheGreatBambino]

 

[Big Sauce 21]

Seven

Commeti 6
Bruce 5
Harley 1
Matthews 5
Basil 0
Hamish 1
Watson 0
Carey 4
Richo 8
Darcey 3
Lingy 8
BT 10


Foxtel

Huddo 10
Derwayne 4
Sandy 7
Eddie 8
Dermie 3
Shaw 3
Lynch 5
Healy 3
Dunstall 7
Riccuito 4
Campbell 6

 

[Bombermania]

Play by play

Anthony Hudson - 5
Dennis Cometti - 5
Eddie McGuire - 8
Bruce McAvaney - 5 (Seems passed his best, appears not to have recovered from when ch7 last went without the rights)
Sandy Roberts - 8
Matthew Campbell - 0 (can't recall hearing him)
Brian Taylor - 5
Hamish McLachlan - 0 (if you think his footy comments are bad, his tennis coverage is worst)
Basil Zemplas - 0
Dwayne Russell - 0

Special
Cameron Ling - 7
Jason Dunstall - 8
Dermott Brereton - 8
Leigh Matthews - 8
Wayne Carey - 8
Matthew Richardson - 4 (needs to work on his post match interviews)
Tim Watson - 6
Mark Ricciuto - 6
Tom Harley - 2
Tony Shaw - 6
Luke Darcy - 2
Gerald Whately - 7

 

[tugga]

Anthony Hudson - 8.5
Eddie McGuire - 8 (I really enjoy Eddie's commentary)
Gerald Whately - 7.5
Dennis Cometti - 7
Bruce McAvaney - 5.5
Sandy Roberts - 5
Matthew Campbell - 5
Hamish McLachlan - 3 (everything seems so boring when he commentates)
Basil Zemplas - 2
Dwayne Russell - 1
Brian Taylor - 0 (biggest ******* on TV)

 

[Team DJ]

Friday Night:

Bruce McAvaney 9 - Still the main man on TV

Dennis Cometti 7 - Has a few one liners. Getting a bit long in the tooth.

Leigh Matthews 5 - Bit bland

Tom Harley 1 - Horrid

Wayne Carey 8 - The King is the King at everythin he does.

Tim Watson 5 - Bit bland. Seems to have a bit of a head wobble when out on the green stuff.

Saturday Night:
Brian Taylor 9 - Prime Time Brian.

Luke Darcy 8 - Solid contributor, doesnt take himself to seriously.

Matthew Richardson 6 - Need more of Richo when he can speak his mind rather then the company line stuff

Cameron Ling 5 - Boring

Sam Lane 9 - Knowledgeable, good to look at.

Saturday Afternoon:

Basil Zempilas 0 - The worst

Hamish McLachlan 8 - Rising star Hammer. Like how he goes about it.

Wayne Schwass - 0 Be your own person Wayne. Second only to Basil in the crap stakes.

The Perfect 10s.
Spud Chief JB & Lone Wolf. Best Call team going.

 

[TheJanuaryMan]

Friday Night:

Bruce McAvaney 9 - Still the main man on TV

Dennis Cometti 7 - Has a few one liners. Getting a bit long in the tooth.

Leigh Matthews 5 - Bit bland

Tom Harley 1 - Horrid

Wayne Carey 8 - The King is the King at everythin he does.

Tim Watson 5 - Bit bland. Seems to have a bit of a head wobble when out on the green stuff.

Saturday Night:
Brian Taylor 9 - Prime Time Brian.

Luke Darcy 8 - Solid contributor, doesnt take himself to seriously.

Matthew Richardson 6 - Need more of Richo when he can speak his mind rather then the company line stuff

Cameron Ling 5 - Boring

Sam Lane 9 - Knowledgeable, good to look at.

Saturday Afternoon:

Basil Zempilas 0 - The worst

Hamish McLachlan 8 - Rising star Hammer. Like how he goes about it.

Wayne Schwass - 0 Be your own person Wayne. Second only to Basil in the crap stakes.

The Perfect 10s.
Spud Chief JB & Lone Wolf. Best Call team going.

Hamish McLachlan 8 - Rising star Hammer. Like how he goes about it.


so does rompingwins.

watching brian taylor calling a GWS or Gold Coast is comic gold. the suns lads like May, Martin and Matera all become very interchangable in player ID, and the GWS blokes are a raffle outside of the top 8-10.

 

[Beetlebum]

Here's a few I hate...

Brian Taylor = 0/10
"BOY OH BOY WOWEE. DARCE, THE TIGERS HAVE KICKED LAST TWO GOALS AND NOW TRAIL BY JUST 64!!! WE'RE HALFWAY INTO THE LAST QUARTER, THERE'S STILL TIME LEFT!! *INSERT OVER DRAMATIC AND ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A BLOWOUT GAME EXCITING COMMENTS HERE*"

Basil Zempilas = 0/10
Doesn't even know half of the players names (apparently it's Daniel Motlop that plays for Geelong now lol) and is annoying.

Kelly Underwood (is that her name?) = 0/10
Just annoying. Feels the need to say everything in a gruff husky voice.

Bruce McAvaney =1/10
"Mhhhhm dericious mhhhhhm what a lovely looking cut of a young man he is mhmmm derishies!!! Mhmmm CYRIL!"

I'd much rather listen to Kelli than Baz or BT.

 

[daniel anderson]

i like bt bruce dennis the fox footy guys and the abc guys there the best

 

[Chaisa]

So I made this thread 5 years ago; let's see what's changed:

Channel 7:

Play-by-play:

Bruce McAvaney 3 - his best days are becoming more and more of a distant memory. Can still make some good calls but they are extremely rare, and in rank and file matches he's shoddy. Needs to retire, or at least be restricted to a few big games a year.
Brian Taylor 1 - he might be somewhat entertaining when you first hear him, but he's annoying as hell beyond that. A buffoon that detracts from the game.
Hamish McLachlan 1 - he really is loathsome. Creepy as hell when he does the Auskick interviews, and just doesn't seem to enjoy the game. He might be an OK host but should never call games.
Luke Darcy 3 - how on earth he became a key media personality when he has zero personality is beyond me. And adds nothing too. At least he fares better with Brayshaw than he ever did with BT or Basil.
James Brayshaw 5 - probably the best of the regular (like doing every week) commentators on 7, which is really quite sad. He's fine enough but doesn't really stand out.
Basil Zempilas 1 - still a trainwreck, I'm afraid. Too far behind the play and loves those shitty catchphrases. You aren't Dennis Commetti idiot, don't try to be like him. Thank * 7 seem to mystifyingly rate him as their next big news personality so he rarely commentates anymore.
Jason Bennett 8 - only does AFL from time to time, but holy * is he a fresh breath of air when he does so. Actually seems capable of building up excitment and doesn't make it about him like everyone else on 7. Should be the main caller on 7 rather than restricted to VFL duty.

Special comments:

Cameron Ling 1 - used to not mind him when he first started out at 7, but has become insufferable over the last 5 years. Like everything he says is a cliche and is the worst kind of sycophant. Go do one.
Matthew Richardson 5 - just too nice. Doesn't seem to have enough of a strong opinion to make an impression. I guess he's less obnoxious than most of 7, but I still feel he would be better as a boundary rider.
Wayne Carey 4 - he actually can make decent insights but doesn't seem too invested, and I really hate how he's been reintegrated into the AFL media communtiy despite little ramifications for some terrible acts. He also makes some really bizarre calls from time to time too.
Tim Watson 3 - just boring and dumb. Adds nothing. At least he was better with the Auskick kids than Rompingwins, lol.
Leigh Matthews 4 - used to like him, but seems past it when I've heard him recently. I don't mind his style but he needs to be pensioned off, like Sandy was and like Bruce should be.
Jimmy Bartel 7 - perhaps it helps that the rest of the team is so dire, but Bartel stands out as being a fresh breath of air in special commentary. Admittedly there probably hasn't been enough time to 7-ify him but he actually speaks as if he understands the modern game, and seems free of cliches and boorishness.
Luke Hodge 6 - not sure he should be commentating while he's still playing but does OK when he does so. I suspect we'll see him as a coach in the future than a commentator though.

Boundary riders:

Daisy Pearce 5 - used to hate her when she first started out - was too difficult to listen to and I felt like she got the job because she was the only female footballer people recognised rather than her actually been good at the job - but I feel like she's improved and actually delivers OK insights. I think she's a better special commentator rather than a boundary rider though.
Abby Holmes 5 - speaks a bit better than Daisy, but doesn't really add a lot. Dud role, though.
Jude Bolton 5 - inoffensive, I guess. Doesn't really make an impression either way.
Gilbert McAdam 3 - too unpolished. I'm sure he's a lovely fella, but he's just not a good meida personality.
Mark Soderstrom 7 - does the best in a pretty unforgiving role. The fact that he's a full time journalist rather than an ex-footballer seems to help.
Xavier Ellis 7 - showing a lot of promise, has good knowledge of the game and a pretty engaging media personality. Should be promoted to full-time special commentary.

Fox Sports:

Play-by-play:

Anthony Hudson 7 - used to be great, but I think since Ten lost the rights and he lost the ability to commentate the huge games he's been guilty of trying way too hard. I still like him as a commentator but needs to be more natural like the B-listers.
Dwayne Russell 0 - biased campaigner who spews cliches for fun. BT would blush at some of the crap that he comes up with. If someone destroys his voice box a hefty amount of money is coming their way as a thank you gift.
Adam Papalia 8 - best of the regular commentators as things stand. I'm a big fan. For a while I suspected he struggled to build up excitment somewhat but he's been great in that regard the more I hear him. Everyone should be looking at what he does to work on the game.
Brenton Speed 8 - another very fine commentator, and bonus points for doing the NRL and A-League as the same time. I really like his style.
Eddie McGuire 4 - I actually think Eddie deep down is a good caller. Trouble is he's used in a really awful way - usually with Russell and usually in games where a big Victorian club is playing an interstate one and he barracks way too much. I think if he was just doing games himself and doing rank and file games he'd be good, but I can't give him a good score as he makes it all about himself.

Special comments:

Paul Roos 4 - I will say this much about Roos - I think out of all special commentators I think he knows the most about the game. Trouble is he does it in such a dislikable way and is way too biased. Not a fan.
Dermot Brereton 3 - similar case to Roos. Except even more of a dislikable blowhard.
Jason Dunstall 6 - usually good, but has two key flaws that come out from time to time. Firstly, he's the host of Bounce and that persona (which is flat out noxious) comes out a bit too much. Secondly, he shows a bit too much bias towards/against certain teams. He's far from alone in that regard in fairness.
Gerard Healy 6 - don't mind Healy at all. Makes solid observations and isn't annoying.
David King 4 - too reliant on statistics to make himself seem important, and makes way too many shocking calls for me to rate him.
Jonathan Brown 4 - don't get it. Voice is too hard to listen to and lacks personality. I guess his insights aren't awful though.
Garry Lyon 5 - again a bit too biased for my liking, and while he doesn't have the DV record that Duck has I feel he was reintegrated into the AFL world a bit too quickly. Not the worst but doesn't really stand out.
Brad Johnson 5 - never really made an impression one way or another.
Alastair Lynch 3 - sucks. Adds nothing to the call.
Nick Riewoldt 6 - decent. Played recently enough he knows what's going on and isn't biased. Can handle him.
Matthew Pavlich 7 - best of the specials I think. Pretty good all round. Wish he did more than WA games.
Mark Riccutio 3 - only does SA games, but thank god he only does SA games. Struggles big time.
Leigh Montagna 5 - again find it hard to care about him. He's not terrible but doesn't make too much of an impression.

Can't really bring myself to care about any of the Fox boundary riders beyond Dal Santo annoying me somewhat. God Fox have an overload of media personalities, most of whom add jack s**t.

 

[Pragmatic Shill]

So I made this thread 5 years ago; let's see what's changed:

Channel 7:

Play-by-play:

Bruce McAvaney 3 - his best days are becoming more and more of a distant memory. Can still make some good calls but they are extremely rare, and in rank and file matches he's shoddy. Needs to retire, or at least be restricted to a few big games a year.
Brian Taylor 1 - he might be somewhat entertaining when you first hear him, but he's annoying as hell beyond that. A buffoon that detracts from the game.
Hamish McLachlan 1 - he really is loathsome. Creepy as hell when he does the Auskick interviews, and just doesn't seem to enjoy the game. He might be an OK host but should never call games.
Luke Darcy 3 - how on earth he became a key media personality when he has zero personality is beyond me. And adds nothing too. At least he fares better with Brayshaw than he ever did with BT or Basil.
James Brayshaw 5 - probably the best of the regular (like doing every week) commentators on 7, which is really quite sad. He's fine enough but doesn't really stand out.
Basil Zempilas 1 - still a trainwreck, I'm afraid. Too far behind the play and loves those s**tty catchphrases. You aren't Dennis Commetti idiot, don't try to be like him. Thank fu** 7 seem to mystifyingly rate him as their next big news personality so he rarely commentates anymore.
Jason Bennett 8 - only does AFL from time to time, but holy fu** is he a fresh breath of air when he does so. Actually seems capable of building up excitment and doesn't make it about him like everyone else on 7. Should be the main caller on 7 rather than restricted to VFL duty.

Special comments:

Cameron Ling 1 - used to not mind him when he first started out at 7, but has become insufferable over the last 5 years. Like everything he says is a cliche and is the worst kind of sycophant. Go do one.
Matthew Richardson 5 - just too nice. Doesn't seem to have enough of a strong opinion to make an impression. I guess he's less obnoxious than most of 7, but I still feel he would be better as a boundary rider.
Wayne Carey 4 - he actually can make decent insights but doesn't seem too invested, and I really hate how he's been reintegrated into the AFL media communtiy despite little ramifications for some terrible acts. He also makes some really bizarre calls from time to time too.
Tim Watson 3 - just boring and dumb. Adds nothing. At least he was better with the Auskick kids than Rompingwins, lol.
Leigh Matthews 4 - used to like him, but seems past it when I've heard him recently. I don't mind his style but he needs to be pensioned off, like Sandy was and like Bruce should be.
Jimmy Bartel 7 - perhaps it helps that the rest of the team is so dire, but Bartel stands out as being a fresh breath of air in special commentary. Admittedly there probably hasn't been enough time to 7-ify him but he actually speaks as if he understands the modern game, and seems free of cliches and boorishness.
Luke Hodge 6 - not sure he should be commentating while he's still playing but does OK when he does so. I suspect we'll see him as a coach in the future than a commentator though.

Boundary riders:

Daisy Pearce 5 - used to hate her when she first started out - was too difficult to listen to and I felt like she got the job because she was the only female footballer people recognised rather than her actually been good at the job - but I feel like she's improved and actually delivers OK insights. I think she's a better special commentator rather than a boundary rider though.
Abby Holmes 5 - speaks a bit better than Daisy, but doesn't really add a lot. Dud role, though.
Jude Bolton 5 - inoffensive, I guess. Doesn't really make an impression either way.
Gilbert McAdam 3 - too unpolished. I'm sure he's a lovely fella, but he's just not a good meida personality.
Mark Soderstrom 7 - does the best in a pretty unforgiving role. The fact that he's a full time journalist rather than an ex-footballer seems to help.
Xavier Ellis 7 - showing a lot of promise, has good knowledge of the game and a pretty engaging media personality. Should be promoted to full-time special commentary.

Fox Sports:

Play-by-play:

Anthony Hudson 7 - used to be great, but I think since Ten lost the rights and he lost the ability to commentate the huge games he's been guilty of trying way too hard. I still like him as a commentator but needs to be more natural like the B-listers.
Dwayne Russell 0 - biased campaigner who spews cliches for fun. BT would blush at some of the crap that he comes up with. If someone destroys his voice box a hefty amount of money is coming their way as a thank you gift.
Adam Papalia 8 - best of the regular commentators as things stand. I'm a big fan. For a while I suspected he struggled to build up excitment somewhat but he's been great in that regard the more I hear him. Everyone should be looking at what he does to work on the game.
Brenton Speed 8 - another very fine commentator, and bonus points for doing the NRL and A-League as the same time. I really like his style.
Eddie McGuire 4 - I actually think Eddie deep down is a good caller. Trouble is he's used in a really awful way - usually with Russell and usually in games where a big Victorian club is playing an interstate one and he barracks way too much. I think if he was just doing games himself and doing rank and file games he'd be good, but I can't give him a good score as he makes it all about himself.

Special comments:

Paul Roos 4 - I will say this much about Roos - I think out of all special commentators I think he knows the most about the game. Trouble is he does it in such a dislikable way and is way too biased. Not a fan.
Dermot Brereton 3 - similar case to Roos. Except even more of a dislikable blowhard.
Jason Dunstall 6 - usually good, but has two key flaws that come out from time to time. Firstly, he's the host of Bounce and that persona (which is flat out noxious) comes out a bit too much. Secondly, he shows a bit too much bias towards/against certain teams. He's far from alone in that regard in fairness.
Gerard Healy 6 - don't mind Healy at all. Makes solid observations and isn't annoying.
David King 4 - too reliant on statistics to make himself seem important, and makes way too many shocking calls for me to rate him.
Jonathan Brown 4 - don't get it. Voice is too hard to listen to and lacks personality. I guess his insights aren't awful though.
Garry Lyon 5 - again a bit too biased for my liking, and while he doesn't have the DV record that Duck has I feel he was reintegrated into the AFL world a bit too quickly. Not the worst but doesn't really stand out.
Brad Johnson 5 - never really made an impression one way or another.
Alastair Lynch 3 - sucks. Adds nothing to the call.
Nick Riewoldt 6 - decent. Played recently enough he knows what's going on and isn't biased. Can handle him.
Matthew Pavlich 7 - best of the specials I think. Pretty good all round. Wish he did more than WA games.
Mark Riccutio 3 - only does SA games, but thank god he only does SA games. Struggles big time.
Leigh Montagna 5 - again find it hard to care about him. He's not terrible but doesn't make too much of an impression.

Can't really bring myself to care about any of the Fox boundary riders beyond Dal Santo annoying me somewhat. God Fox have an overload of media personalities, most of whom add jack s**t.

Not bad, not bad. I still don't mind BT depending on the mood I'm in but the grumpy "back in my day" anti-sports science schtick has grown really tiresome. Bennett won't ever become a constant part of the 7 line-up in the AFL because it's very clearly a cliquey work environment where BT tries to position himself as some kind of bullying alpha male in the pack, and Bennett is often very invested in the game. I think Bennett and BT commentated the Crows v Pies game in Round 4 last year together and rumour has it BT asked the higher-ups to keep the pairing up with Bennett to a minimum because in his own words BT likes to commentate with someone he "has chemistry with" (read: will laugh at his non-sequiturs and off-topic discussions in the middle of games).

Eddie I think is underrated as a play-by-play but I agree he does barrack a bit too much depending on the game.

Funny the amount of staff they have at Fox Footy. Fox whinges about how it haemorrhages money yet decides to have two play-by-plays, two special comments and a boundary, plus three back at the studio for analysis for each individual game.

 

[JackBero]

Brian Taylor 0 - HYPERBOLE! MAXIMUM! BOY OH BOY WOWEE! AARRGGHHH. fu** OFF.

f**k you