gutsroy
Brownlow Medallist
The first rule of bye club: You do not talk about bye club. The second rule of bye club: you do not talk about bye club.
Unless you came through that time of year that we love or love to hate unscathed and with a saucy little rankings boost. Etiher way, it's always a roller cooaster of emotions. Hard to know how to feel about them on balance, but they've left none of us uncnanged.
To do that, you’ll want to have given 10,000 points a nudge over rounds 12-16, depending on where you sat coming in. If you were around the 5k mark, you probably needed around 9,900 or thereabouts to tread water, at a rough guess.
But the tried and true way to gauge it is just to take a look at your rank at the end of Rd 11 and your rank at the end of Rd 16. If you rose overall, job done, if you sank, you left a little cash on the table. And if your focus is leagues, you already stopped reading two paragraphs ago.
Round 16 was, in general, not too bad, because even though there were more underpant stains than in an e coli breakout, the worst of it tended to hit fairly commonly owned players. Before we get into the long-winded crap, to put those of you just interested in potential rookie trade-ins:
Harry Rowston (GWS, MID, $161,300, BE -66) has had a price rise, but he also has – if it holds a little longer – comfortably the best role of any of the rookies on offer this week, and he has gone 79 and 82 in his last two outings. This is ignoring Tom McCarthy, who every man and his dog will already have brought in, but for the record: WCE, MID/DEF, 99,100, BE -175, every chance to give Errol Gulden the fright of his life on the highest first price rise front.
Archer May (ESS, FWD, 99,100, BE -61) looked good in his first outing and is on the bubble. The calamitous re-injuries to various Bombers, including Kyle Langford, don’t do his short term chances any harm.
Hugh ‘Wolverine’ Jackson is another rookie who has had his first price rises, but at 173.7k and coming off an outrageous 109 vs an insipid Blues outfit, he is worth a mention. BE -16.
If you need another MID/DEF eligible rookie-ish priced type with a decent draw for looping if dropped, Bo Allan (WCE, 135.6k, BE -28) won’t have you over-exciting on the arousal curve, but could serve a purpose. If you don’t need a kid who might get a couple of games, go a 99k kid.
Similarly, Dev Robertson (BRL, MID/FWD, 106.7k) is one you could justify the minor markup vs a 99k type on.
Keep an eye on Nic Madden (GWS, RUC, 202.9k) - if he holds Kieren Briggs out, then he might be set for the immediate term. Has sadly already had his first price rise, and it was a doozy.
Alix Tauru (STK, DEF/FWD, 163k) was a bloody sensation on the weekend and it woul d be niche, but saides with Nic Martin in particular might give him the once over. Played his guts out and threw himself at every aerial contest going.
Jasper Alger (RIC, FWD, 113.5k, BE -7) actually scored quite well in his second outing with a 62 and something tells me there just might be an opening in the forward line for the next 4 weeks or so.
It’s all horses for courses stuff at this stage of proceedings, grab the one(s) that best suit(s) your needs. It goes without saying: If you don’t have McCarthy, for the love of God and all things holy, bring him in. Callum Mills looked like Temu Tom McCarthy on the weekend at 3.5 times the outlay, to be honest.
Port Adelaide vs Carlton:
If you were to look up ‘coach killer’ in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of this performance.
George Hewett (CAR, MID, 565.4k, BE 105) was the only Blue who could really hold his head high, he was the only prick up for the fight with a 120, although Patrick Cripps (93 despite illness) and Jack Silvagni (86 and never stopped trying) deserve honourable mentions. Sam Docherty scored the least convincing 103 of all time, Adam Cerra never got going and churned out an awful 66 and Charlie Curnow was too busy thinking about water fights and orange mocha Frappuccino to knuckle down and have a ****ing crack.
Never seen a more determined performance than Charlie's
Tom De Koning tried up against a tag team, but if he’s worth 1.7m/year, Darcy Cameron and Brodie Grundy should be on thrfteen trillion.
Port had winners all over the park. Connor Rozee (PTA, DEF/MID, 547.9k) went for 150 and was sheepdogging teammates away from kick-ins at every opportunity, Zak Butters (PTA, MID, 5902.k) went for 123 and did it on the bit, Miles Bergman (DEF/MID, 474.9k) shook off last week’s illness to pump out a 121, the list goes on. But they were up against witches’ hats with zero ticker and it showed. Big watch on the Blues against the old enemy this week, they would want to come out breathing fire and show some heart, win lose or draw. Vossy will have the billiard balls on stand by.
Western Buldogs vs Sydney Swans:
The second game of the round got most coaches’ weekends off to a rocky start.
For the Dogs, Marcus Bontempelli (63, WBD MID, 568.5k), Tom Liberatore (60, WBD MID, 524k) , Ed Richards (66, 602k WBD MID, 169 BE) and Sam Darcy (73, WBD FWD, 483.4k) all underwhelmed, Matt Kennedy (89) and Bailey Dale (99, but faded badly due to attention in the second half after a blistering 80-pt first half) were OK but nothing special. Darcy was dominant early but faded in the second half, not registering a single possession in the third term. He also had to put in some cameos in the ruck given a (seemingly) minor Tim English knee tweak. Don’t really see that any of them are a worry, although you could imagine Libba may get a rest and a freshen up at some stage if they can afford it. Bont learnt, as anyone who has put in a sesh knows only too well, that once you have broken the seal, it’s all downhill from there. Having not racked up a score that low in years, he now has two in three outings (punctuated by a 177). All of them are decent buying, depending on how you gauge their prospects on the run home. Shoutout to Joel Freijah, the Dogs’ best on the night with a 151.
The Swans midfielders, in particular Isaac Heeney (144, SYD MID, 581.4k, 119 5-Rd AVG) and Errol Gulden (146, SYD MID, 581.9k, 120.5 AVG), were in the ascendancy for most of the night. Both are worth a look if you’re in the market for a unique. Chad Warner ran around like a headless chook, channelled his inner James Manson on his kicks and spent more time forward, wasting every chance that came his way. His 96 was purely on weight of ball, he is what he is at this stage of proceedings and we knew that going in.
They were ably fed by Brodie Grundy (179, SYD RUC, 707.4k), who really has put together a sustained patch of form as good as he has shown at any stage of his career (5-Rd AVG 153). He benefitted to an extent from a minor Tim English knee injury, but he was having his way with him regardless. Tim English (WBD, RUC, 595.5k, 116 5-Rd AVG) is a very green matchup for opposition rucks and that doesn’t look like changing any time soon. If you can VC/C his opponent, it pays dividends often enough.
Callum Mills (56) and Matty Roberts (62) had outings to forget. For Roberts, it honestly looks a touch terminal, he has gotten caught in the shuffle now that Gulden and Mills are back, the same probably applying to Angus Sheldrick (56) – although he couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn all night, so maybe if he tidies that up he might go OK. Mills had an odd outing. He honestly looked to be gassed at times and couldn’t ratchet up the pace, and he copped a pretty savage 50m penalty, things like that. Nothing to panic about and it’s not like anyone will be flush for trades, but temper expectations about him averaging 115 for you at a bargain price.
Gold Coast vs Melbourne:
It must be rough as guts being a Dees supporter this year. Christian Petracca (104, MEL MID/FWD, 510.8k, 99.3 AVG)) scored OK but butchered the footy in a manner that would make Jordan Dawson blush, Max Gawn (a very generous 90, dropping to 654.6k with a 171 BE) lowered his colours to Jarrod Witts in real footy terms, Clayton Oliver (70) had no impact early before racking up some meaningless late touches, and only Kysaiah Pickett (121, MEL 483.7k MID/FWD) ever really looked like a topliner and put in a genuine 4-quarter effort.
For Gold Coast, every man and his dog were queueing up for a lick of the ice cream. Matt Rowell (147, 569.5k MID, 5-Rd AVG 122), Touk Miller (122, 542.1k MID, 5-Rd AVG 110), Noah Anderson (105 despite copping some attention, 579.3k MID, 5-Rd AVG 116) and Bailey Humphrey (93) all got the job done, Sam Flanders (87 off 29 touches and he gathered it further up the field but is still outside the CBAs and starting forward) was OK. I suppose you could take a look at him at 372.6k with DEF/MID DPP, but you’d want to believe the role will continue to expand – no refunds, no returns.
Hawthorn vs North Melbourne
This game was all over bar the shouting about 14 seconds in. North were never in it, the Hawks were never threatened.
For the Hawks, despite being subbed out early, Dylan Moore continued his solid run of form with a 103, Jai Newcombe rewarded his few remaining owners with a 119, Lloyd Meek was actually fairly competitive in the ruck with 91 (again, largely irrelevant very few owners) and the only real disappointment was Sam Butler, finishing on 31. With some imminent returns up forward, he might come under some pressure to retain his spot, and he set forth the glorious tradition of every 2025 bubble boy absolutely soliing the underpant come game 3.
For North, Harry Sheezel had a shocking role, injured himself with about a minute to go (shoulder, monitor, but early indications are he should play) and churned out an awful 60, Caleb Daniel is the defensive liability to end all defensive liabilities but gave the ton an almighty nudge on 96, Colby McKercher registered a solid 108 despite being pretty untidy at times, Lukey Paaarker was solid on 108 and Tristan Xerri was solid if not spectacular on 111. Luke Davies-Uniacke was quite good with a 108, but he’s honestly a bit of a nothing pick this year, hovering around the 100 mark and threatening the Guiness world record for treading water. The real LDU season was the 2.75 friends we made along the way.
Collingwood vs West Coast:
This was a genuinely competitive game and the Eagles were absolutely valiant in defeat. Collingwood got the job done but were outpointed at times by the Eagles and kind of got away with one in the end.
Liam Baker (121) is now up to 535.3k off the back of a 5-Rd AVG of 108, excellent for a FWD-eligible pick and absolutely acceptable for a DEF. Tom McCarthy is one you must bring in if you haven’t already, registering another classy ton with 101 in his second outing. He has a cool head on his shoulders and doesn’t panic under pressure. Clay Hall finally got a decent crack at it and promptly punched out a very solid 78, but it came far too late for most owners, sadly.
Ryan Maric registered 87 and played well, making the most of a non-ideal partial wing role. Matt Flynn ended up on 75, but that was actually a solid recovery and he broke even at worst in the second half, having been touched up in the first.
For the Pies, Nick Daicos was a popular VC / C and got the job done with 131, Darcy Cameron was actually a bit disappointing in the end on 111, Josh Daicos continued his solid but slightly sub-premo output for a DEF on 96, Ned Long let himself down with some chopped kicks on 72 and Dan Houston has yet to really hit his stride with the Pies, finishing on 76, very disappointing for owners waiting for him to come good.
Charlie West debuted, got a goal first up and finished on 27, he’s not one you would be falling over yourself to bring in, and for the Eagles, Bo Allan scored 39, with some OK scenes in an otherwise unspectacular but largely non-calamitous outing. 39 is 51 bigger than -12 kids, let’s not get greedy. Jobe Shanahan really showed a bit in his debut for the Eagles on 56, easily the best debutant on the day.
Richmond vs Adelaide:
This was a game more memorable for Tom Lynch losing the plot and trying to land a haymaker that will presumably see him miss around a month of footy.
Learn from Barry, Tom. Crocodile tears never hurt.
Adelaide had the game under control at all times. Dan Curtin was the big story in football terms, he’s a 6’6” wing and it was Matty Richardson-esque the way he was galloping up and down the ground and outmarking pygmies left, right and centre. He’s really come on of late.
Rory Laird was again solid on 118, Jordan Dawson OK on 112 but a disappointment for anyone throwing the VC/C at him, Izak Rankine was on 80-odd at half time and finished on 99, he’s been a fairly awful pick this year. Not diabolical, but nothing like the 110-threatening mid role he had at times last year. This year, he’s a smaller forward with shit disposal and he’s settled in at a price of around 450k for that reason. Zero sizzle on this snag.
Owners were once again delighted with Izak's output
For the Tigs, Toby Nankervis and Dion Prestia both ended up on 98, Nank in particular battling much harder this week than last when he meekly folded like a three-day-old pie against Tim English of all people.
Jasper Alger played his first game (I think) and ended up on 62. I only saw a handful of scenes, but he looked like he was having a crack. Ben Keays inexplicably ended up on 45, a huge drop in output in a great matchup on paper.
All in all, this game will be replayed precisely zero times in the remainder of mankind’s history apart from folks wanting to watch Dan Curtin confirm he’s on his way / Tom Lynch going full Barry Hall.
Fremantle vs St Kilda:
Lower ranked teams challenging top 8 sides was a bit of a theme this round and this game was no exception. The Saints were in the game all day and could have gone further ahead at times. Alix Tauru was, as indicated, great and had an appetite for the contest. Tobie Travagalia probably also had his best game to date. Rowan Marshall defied the odds and went for 159 against the two-headed dragon of Sean Darcy (117) and Luke Jackson (116). If you genuinely expected that going in, hats off to you, I thought he’d get pumped. Jackson spent less time in the ruck but some time on the ball as an extra mid and took some really solid contested marks and kicked two late goals, he was a little unlucky that the final goal seemed to be classified as junk time, because he really should gave gotten more bang for buck on it.
Andrew Brayshaw and Caleb Serong both shat the bed on 84, neither really having to worry about that hard a tag all day and pissing a nice matchup on paper up against the wall. Serong got punked by Hugo Garcia and was very fortunate to cop some late scale love for a couple of contested possessions in big moments and kicks / handballs that actually (randomly) found a target for the first time all day. He typifies everything that is wrong with this country today and it is rumoured that does not return his shopping trolley at the supermarket. (Steady, Scoops, hate is a negative emotion, you need the useless prick to spark up)
Scoops asks that his privacy be respected at this time
Jack Steele was industrious on 97, Jack Macrae felt slightly underscored vs his impact on 91, Nasaiah Wanganeen-Milera recovered from a slow start to finish on 117 and Jack Sinclair somehow salvaged an 89 with some late touches, but, tbh, things are crook in Tallarook, Scoops can see another bout of faecal incontinence on the horizon.
Anyway, that was the week that was. Trade recommendations are tricky at this time of year as many will be looking more to conserve and break glass in emergency or have clear targets in mind for final upgrades, so there’s little to be gained by running the slide rule over all and sundry.
And with this, our bye coverage for 2025 draws to a close. It wasn’t pretty, but we got there in the end. We will all – or certainly the vast majority of us – be running on fumes from here out, so fingers crossed the injury carnage doesn’t hit you too hard. Look after yourselves, fellow travellers.
Unless you came through that time of year that we love or love to hate unscathed and with a saucy little rankings boost. Etiher way, it's always a roller cooaster of emotions. Hard to know how to feel about them on balance, but they've left none of us uncnanged.
To do that, you’ll want to have given 10,000 points a nudge over rounds 12-16, depending on where you sat coming in. If you were around the 5k mark, you probably needed around 9,900 or thereabouts to tread water, at a rough guess.
But the tried and true way to gauge it is just to take a look at your rank at the end of Rd 11 and your rank at the end of Rd 16. If you rose overall, job done, if you sank, you left a little cash on the table. And if your focus is leagues, you already stopped reading two paragraphs ago.
Round 16 was, in general, not too bad, because even though there were more underpant stains than in an e coli breakout, the worst of it tended to hit fairly commonly owned players. Before we get into the long-winded crap, to put those of you just interested in potential rookie trade-ins:
Harry Rowston (GWS, MID, $161,300, BE -66) has had a price rise, but he also has – if it holds a little longer – comfortably the best role of any of the rookies on offer this week, and he has gone 79 and 82 in his last two outings. This is ignoring Tom McCarthy, who every man and his dog will already have brought in, but for the record: WCE, MID/DEF, 99,100, BE -175, every chance to give Errol Gulden the fright of his life on the highest first price rise front.
Archer May (ESS, FWD, 99,100, BE -61) looked good in his first outing and is on the bubble. The calamitous re-injuries to various Bombers, including Kyle Langford, don’t do his short term chances any harm.
Hugh ‘Wolverine’ Jackson is another rookie who has had his first price rises, but at 173.7k and coming off an outrageous 109 vs an insipid Blues outfit, he is worth a mention. BE -16.
If you need another MID/DEF eligible rookie-ish priced type with a decent draw for looping if dropped, Bo Allan (WCE, 135.6k, BE -28) won’t have you over-exciting on the arousal curve, but could serve a purpose. If you don’t need a kid who might get a couple of games, go a 99k kid.
Similarly, Dev Robertson (BRL, MID/FWD, 106.7k) is one you could justify the minor markup vs a 99k type on.
Keep an eye on Nic Madden (GWS, RUC, 202.9k) - if he holds Kieren Briggs out, then he might be set for the immediate term. Has sadly already had his first price rise, and it was a doozy.
Alix Tauru (STK, DEF/FWD, 163k) was a bloody sensation on the weekend and it woul d be niche, but saides with Nic Martin in particular might give him the once over. Played his guts out and threw himself at every aerial contest going.
Jasper Alger (RIC, FWD, 113.5k, BE -7) actually scored quite well in his second outing with a 62 and something tells me there just might be an opening in the forward line for the next 4 weeks or so.
It’s all horses for courses stuff at this stage of proceedings, grab the one(s) that best suit(s) your needs. It goes without saying: If you don’t have McCarthy, for the love of God and all things holy, bring him in. Callum Mills looked like Temu Tom McCarthy on the weekend at 3.5 times the outlay, to be honest.
Port Adelaide vs Carlton:
If you were to look up ‘coach killer’ in the dictionary, you’d find a picture of this performance.
George Hewett (CAR, MID, 565.4k, BE 105) was the only Blue who could really hold his head high, he was the only prick up for the fight with a 120, although Patrick Cripps (93 despite illness) and Jack Silvagni (86 and never stopped trying) deserve honourable mentions. Sam Docherty scored the least convincing 103 of all time, Adam Cerra never got going and churned out an awful 66 and Charlie Curnow was too busy thinking about water fights and orange mocha Frappuccino to knuckle down and have a ****ing crack.
Never seen a more determined performance than Charlie's
Tom De Koning tried up against a tag team, but if he’s worth 1.7m/year, Darcy Cameron and Brodie Grundy should be on thrfteen trillion.
Port had winners all over the park. Connor Rozee (PTA, DEF/MID, 547.9k) went for 150 and was sheepdogging teammates away from kick-ins at every opportunity, Zak Butters (PTA, MID, 5902.k) went for 123 and did it on the bit, Miles Bergman (DEF/MID, 474.9k) shook off last week’s illness to pump out a 121, the list goes on. But they were up against witches’ hats with zero ticker and it showed. Big watch on the Blues against the old enemy this week, they would want to come out breathing fire and show some heart, win lose or draw. Vossy will have the billiard balls on stand by.
Western Buldogs vs Sydney Swans:
The second game of the round got most coaches’ weekends off to a rocky start.
For the Dogs, Marcus Bontempelli (63, WBD MID, 568.5k), Tom Liberatore (60, WBD MID, 524k) , Ed Richards (66, 602k WBD MID, 169 BE) and Sam Darcy (73, WBD FWD, 483.4k) all underwhelmed, Matt Kennedy (89) and Bailey Dale (99, but faded badly due to attention in the second half after a blistering 80-pt first half) were OK but nothing special. Darcy was dominant early but faded in the second half, not registering a single possession in the third term. He also had to put in some cameos in the ruck given a (seemingly) minor Tim English knee tweak. Don’t really see that any of them are a worry, although you could imagine Libba may get a rest and a freshen up at some stage if they can afford it. Bont learnt, as anyone who has put in a sesh knows only too well, that once you have broken the seal, it’s all downhill from there. Having not racked up a score that low in years, he now has two in three outings (punctuated by a 177). All of them are decent buying, depending on how you gauge their prospects on the run home. Shoutout to Joel Freijah, the Dogs’ best on the night with a 151.
The Swans midfielders, in particular Isaac Heeney (144, SYD MID, 581.4k, 119 5-Rd AVG) and Errol Gulden (146, SYD MID, 581.9k, 120.5 AVG), were in the ascendancy for most of the night. Both are worth a look if you’re in the market for a unique. Chad Warner ran around like a headless chook, channelled his inner James Manson on his kicks and spent more time forward, wasting every chance that came his way. His 96 was purely on weight of ball, he is what he is at this stage of proceedings and we knew that going in.
They were ably fed by Brodie Grundy (179, SYD RUC, 707.4k), who really has put together a sustained patch of form as good as he has shown at any stage of his career (5-Rd AVG 153). He benefitted to an extent from a minor Tim English knee injury, but he was having his way with him regardless. Tim English (WBD, RUC, 595.5k, 116 5-Rd AVG) is a very green matchup for opposition rucks and that doesn’t look like changing any time soon. If you can VC/C his opponent, it pays dividends often enough.
Callum Mills (56) and Matty Roberts (62) had outings to forget. For Roberts, it honestly looks a touch terminal, he has gotten caught in the shuffle now that Gulden and Mills are back, the same probably applying to Angus Sheldrick (56) – although he couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn all night, so maybe if he tidies that up he might go OK. Mills had an odd outing. He honestly looked to be gassed at times and couldn’t ratchet up the pace, and he copped a pretty savage 50m penalty, things like that. Nothing to panic about and it’s not like anyone will be flush for trades, but temper expectations about him averaging 115 for you at a bargain price.
Gold Coast vs Melbourne:
It must be rough as guts being a Dees supporter this year. Christian Petracca (104, MEL MID/FWD, 510.8k, 99.3 AVG)) scored OK but butchered the footy in a manner that would make Jordan Dawson blush, Max Gawn (a very generous 90, dropping to 654.6k with a 171 BE) lowered his colours to Jarrod Witts in real footy terms, Clayton Oliver (70) had no impact early before racking up some meaningless late touches, and only Kysaiah Pickett (121, MEL 483.7k MID/FWD) ever really looked like a topliner and put in a genuine 4-quarter effort.
For Gold Coast, every man and his dog were queueing up for a lick of the ice cream. Matt Rowell (147, 569.5k MID, 5-Rd AVG 122), Touk Miller (122, 542.1k MID, 5-Rd AVG 110), Noah Anderson (105 despite copping some attention, 579.3k MID, 5-Rd AVG 116) and Bailey Humphrey (93) all got the job done, Sam Flanders (87 off 29 touches and he gathered it further up the field but is still outside the CBAs and starting forward) was OK. I suppose you could take a look at him at 372.6k with DEF/MID DPP, but you’d want to believe the role will continue to expand – no refunds, no returns.
Hawthorn vs North Melbourne
This game was all over bar the shouting about 14 seconds in. North were never in it, the Hawks were never threatened.
For the Hawks, despite being subbed out early, Dylan Moore continued his solid run of form with a 103, Jai Newcombe rewarded his few remaining owners with a 119, Lloyd Meek was actually fairly competitive in the ruck with 91 (again, largely irrelevant very few owners) and the only real disappointment was Sam Butler, finishing on 31. With some imminent returns up forward, he might come under some pressure to retain his spot, and he set forth the glorious tradition of every 2025 bubble boy absolutely soliing the underpant come game 3.
For North, Harry Sheezel had a shocking role, injured himself with about a minute to go (shoulder, monitor, but early indications are he should play) and churned out an awful 60, Caleb Daniel is the defensive liability to end all defensive liabilities but gave the ton an almighty nudge on 96, Colby McKercher registered a solid 108 despite being pretty untidy at times, Lukey Paaarker was solid on 108 and Tristan Xerri was solid if not spectacular on 111. Luke Davies-Uniacke was quite good with a 108, but he’s honestly a bit of a nothing pick this year, hovering around the 100 mark and threatening the Guiness world record for treading water. The real LDU season was the 2.75 friends we made along the way.
Collingwood vs West Coast:
This was a genuinely competitive game and the Eagles were absolutely valiant in defeat. Collingwood got the job done but were outpointed at times by the Eagles and kind of got away with one in the end.
Liam Baker (121) is now up to 535.3k off the back of a 5-Rd AVG of 108, excellent for a FWD-eligible pick and absolutely acceptable for a DEF. Tom McCarthy is one you must bring in if you haven’t already, registering another classy ton with 101 in his second outing. He has a cool head on his shoulders and doesn’t panic under pressure. Clay Hall finally got a decent crack at it and promptly punched out a very solid 78, but it came far too late for most owners, sadly.
Ryan Maric registered 87 and played well, making the most of a non-ideal partial wing role. Matt Flynn ended up on 75, but that was actually a solid recovery and he broke even at worst in the second half, having been touched up in the first.
For the Pies, Nick Daicos was a popular VC / C and got the job done with 131, Darcy Cameron was actually a bit disappointing in the end on 111, Josh Daicos continued his solid but slightly sub-premo output for a DEF on 96, Ned Long let himself down with some chopped kicks on 72 and Dan Houston has yet to really hit his stride with the Pies, finishing on 76, very disappointing for owners waiting for him to come good.
Charlie West debuted, got a goal first up and finished on 27, he’s not one you would be falling over yourself to bring in, and for the Eagles, Bo Allan scored 39, with some OK scenes in an otherwise unspectacular but largely non-calamitous outing. 39 is 51 bigger than -12 kids, let’s not get greedy. Jobe Shanahan really showed a bit in his debut for the Eagles on 56, easily the best debutant on the day.
Richmond vs Adelaide:
This was a game more memorable for Tom Lynch losing the plot and trying to land a haymaker that will presumably see him miss around a month of footy.
Learn from Barry, Tom. Crocodile tears never hurt.
Adelaide had the game under control at all times. Dan Curtin was the big story in football terms, he’s a 6’6” wing and it was Matty Richardson-esque the way he was galloping up and down the ground and outmarking pygmies left, right and centre. He’s really come on of late.
Rory Laird was again solid on 118, Jordan Dawson OK on 112 but a disappointment for anyone throwing the VC/C at him, Izak Rankine was on 80-odd at half time and finished on 99, he’s been a fairly awful pick this year. Not diabolical, but nothing like the 110-threatening mid role he had at times last year. This year, he’s a smaller forward with shit disposal and he’s settled in at a price of around 450k for that reason. Zero sizzle on this snag.
Owners were once again delighted with Izak's output
For the Tigs, Toby Nankervis and Dion Prestia both ended up on 98, Nank in particular battling much harder this week than last when he meekly folded like a three-day-old pie against Tim English of all people.
Jasper Alger played his first game (I think) and ended up on 62. I only saw a handful of scenes, but he looked like he was having a crack. Ben Keays inexplicably ended up on 45, a huge drop in output in a great matchup on paper.
All in all, this game will be replayed precisely zero times in the remainder of mankind’s history apart from folks wanting to watch Dan Curtin confirm he’s on his way / Tom Lynch going full Barry Hall.
Fremantle vs St Kilda:
Lower ranked teams challenging top 8 sides was a bit of a theme this round and this game was no exception. The Saints were in the game all day and could have gone further ahead at times. Alix Tauru was, as indicated, great and had an appetite for the contest. Tobie Travagalia probably also had his best game to date. Rowan Marshall defied the odds and went for 159 against the two-headed dragon of Sean Darcy (117) and Luke Jackson (116). If you genuinely expected that going in, hats off to you, I thought he’d get pumped. Jackson spent less time in the ruck but some time on the ball as an extra mid and took some really solid contested marks and kicked two late goals, he was a little unlucky that the final goal seemed to be classified as junk time, because he really should gave gotten more bang for buck on it.
Andrew Brayshaw and Caleb Serong both shat the bed on 84, neither really having to worry about that hard a tag all day and pissing a nice matchup on paper up against the wall. Serong got punked by Hugo Garcia and was very fortunate to cop some late scale love for a couple of contested possessions in big moments and kicks / handballs that actually (randomly) found a target for the first time all day. He typifies everything that is wrong with this country today and it is rumoured that does not return his shopping trolley at the supermarket. (Steady, Scoops, hate is a negative emotion, you need the useless prick to spark up)
Scoops asks that his privacy be respected at this time
Jack Steele was industrious on 97, Jack Macrae felt slightly underscored vs his impact on 91, Nasaiah Wanganeen-Milera recovered from a slow start to finish on 117 and Jack Sinclair somehow salvaged an 89 with some late touches, but, tbh, things are crook in Tallarook, Scoops can see another bout of faecal incontinence on the horizon.
Anyway, that was the week that was. Trade recommendations are tricky at this time of year as many will be looking more to conserve and break glass in emergency or have clear targets in mind for final upgrades, so there’s little to be gained by running the slide rule over all and sundry.
And with this, our bye coverage for 2025 draws to a close. It wasn’t pretty, but we got there in the end. We will all – or certainly the vast majority of us – be running on fumes from here out, so fingers crossed the injury carnage doesn’t hit you too hard. Look after yourselves, fellow travellers.
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