Battle of the No Win Clubs.....no wait....North beat the Toast?!?!.....
Ahhh yes, here we are on the back of last week. Last week.....nah, this is round one ain't it??....or have I magically scrubbed that from my brain?...
Must've been that empty bottle of Jacks lying around over there....
So here we are, already decidedly at Round 1 after such a wonderful pre-season and seeing the likes of Fyfey and Treacy (and Tabernator, and Son Son, and Nev Amiss, and Schultzy, and Tommo, and Sturty, and Jacko, and Corvette, and Freddy, and Switta, and Seb, and the MAIN SHOW HIMSELF, Banners!) show why they're going to make us a 100 point team. In other words: Flag in da bag.
Judging by Jackson's own pre-season we should only expect that he will only add to our offensive fire-power and cast away all doubt that we will be kicking sub 60 scores……right?.....right??!! Fyfey is also OBVIOUSLY going to explode for 5 very very soon!!
Now North. Well, what do they have? They've already shown their allergy to 1st round picks by flicking off the only one they've ever received....amazingly....in both contexts of what that implies.
What they have also managed to achieve is a personal relationship with
Anyways, we know North do have some talent, though, they never seem to have enough at any one time, at least since the 90s.
Goldy can still ruck and Zurhaar knows where the goals are. Sheezel can be the rookie that leads the way, opposed to the Horny One.
The Bestest Playas Of Each Side:
Freo’s BnF Cream 2022: Andrew Baeshaw - 273 Brennan Cox - 200 Caleb Serong Soright - 197 Alex Pearce - 197 Lachie Schultz - 192 Griffin Logue - 183 Michael Walters - 175 Hayden Young - 164 Jordan Clark - 163 Rory Lobb - 161 | North Melbs BnF Cream 2022: Jye Simpkin - 130 LDU - 108 Bailey Scott - 98 Todd Goldstein - 93 Luke McDonald - 88 Nick Larkey - 79 Cam Zurhaar - 66 Aidan Corr - 59 Hugh Greenwood - 51 Lachie Young - 50 |
As you can see, it’s quite evident that Freo’s cream is more creamier than the watery mess at Arden Street, with the Bae One evidently the one with runs on the board (OK, FORGET THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT VOTING SCHEMES ACROSS CLUBS!)
Simpkin can only pretend he’s on the level of the Bae One, sharing the respective top spot on each list and LDU is evidently roughly ⅓ the player of His Royal Baeness. As you can also ascertain from the numbers, Simpkin would not even crack our BnF 10.
We’re such a sure thing we also even decided to part with the Griffster, knowing we’re gifting a top 6 BnF performer to a side that desperately needs the extra defence to prevent a complete embarrassment of a performance and to give our forward line, a forward line that NEEDS the additional competition to fine tune the already humming beastly front half (some random bastard walking behind just laughed at that last line and flashed me his phone with what I'm assuming is last years Saints loss?…wtf does he know geez. THAT ain’t happening again this year!)
Parting with Lobb was also a no-brainer due to this overflowing forward line dynamism. We HAD to move him on to make room for the marking quality of Treacy & Tabernator and the rest of these MEN. I mean look at all these ripped arms about the joint:
Soooo, with all these positive forward line changes, and the Pre-Season to end all Pre-Seasons, the expectation to come out of the blocks with a first up win is all but set in stone. Not even the coaching genius of a coaching Jesus will be enough to stifle the end result and prevent us from going 1 from 1!
Outcome:
Freo by 35….aaaaand Vidwhal remaining in de Nile River.
