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RDT CI: Dalmatians

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The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an arseh*le.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
 
Woo hoo holiday here I come! Be good boys!
 
Only men are here. No boys.

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Tiff said:
Yeah I worked, but finish at twelve on Fridays because I'm a union man and union members fight for their right to do **** all.
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Lucky.
 
Funny that, in the last EBA the little whore head of HR tried to bring our uniforms from three sets a year to one set a year because "union members are too spoilt". I laughed in her face.

One set of clothes a year for engineering tradesman. What an idiot. Even three sets is less than what I've recieved on non union sites.

There she is sitting in her uniforms, steel capped boots and supplied PPE. Wonder where that came from?
 

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Tiff said:
Funny that, in the last EBA the little whore head of HR tried to bring our uniforms from three sets a year to one set a year because "union members are too spoilt". I laughed in her face.

One set of clothes a year for engineering tradesman. What an idiot. Even three sets is less than what I've recieved on non union sites.

There she is sitting in her uniforms, steel capped boots and supplied PPE. Wonder where that came from?
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Make love to her then never return her calls.
 
pantskyle said:
Make love to her then never return her calls.
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She's hot as fuark too. I'm torn when I'm in the room with her. One side of me wants to bend her over the desk and give her one, but then the other side wants to bend her over the desk and give her one.
 
Tiff said:
She's hot as fuark too. I'm torn when I'm in the room with her. One side of me wants to bend her over the desk and give her one, but then the other side wants to bend her over the desk and give her one.
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I don't envy you having to make that choice. That's a hard one.
 
valid point...

Funny story. First time living in on campus housing I wanted to make a good impression with the people I would be sharing a unit with. Among my offers of lifts (I was the only one with a car, and the only Aussie) other tidbits as well I offered a guy a beer when I was drinking at maybe 4pm on a Monday. He graciously declined, I insisted, it took me a lot longer then it should have to realise he was Islamic.

coolstorybro.jpg
 

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pantskyle said:
Any good?
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Yahhh its bloody good. Made by a pro but he's just setting up so he's getting it out there to suss it out. Gonna give some to my mates who know more about that shit to give feedback.

He's going all out with bee hivery and shit to do it legit.
 
Tiff said:
Yahhh its bloody good. Made by a pro but he's just setting up so he's getting it out there to suss it out. Gonna give some to my mates who know more about that shit to give feedback.

He's going all out with bee hivery and shit to do it legit.
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Send me a bottle.;)
 
Tiff said:
Yahhh its bloody good. Made by a pro but he's just setting up so he's getting it out there to suss it out. Gonna give some to my mates who know more about that shit to give feedback.

He's going all out with bee hivery and shit to do it legit.
Click to expand...

Sup brah, we're mates aye?
 
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