Rumour Ricky Nixon selling dodgy footballs?

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Club Legend
Feb 11, 2014
AFL Club
I saw Ricky Nixon at Coles in Prahran a few years back, before all the schoolgirl stuff.

I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face.

I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off.

When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.”

At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me.

I don’t even think that’s a word.

After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.


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Brownlow Medallist
Jun 4, 2011
AFL Club
Someone's flying her kite about taking over from Gil.

She’s just become CEO of Global Express, not sure she’’s have the time for running the AFL?

+ the scandal over Collingwood appointing board members who don’t meet constitutional qualifications … it was Holgate who chaired that whole process. All the board upheaval at Collingwood during the year originated from her handiwork - and she’ll very likely keep her seat through it all.

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All Australian
Oct 10, 2010
AFL Club
Now now don't get upset! I'm sure you you can get a cheap cheeseboard and puffer jacket down Fitzroy st!

Jealous ? I wear mine to nighclubs, the chicks love it

Lip Gallagher

Club Legend
Nov 11, 2020
AFL Club
Ricky went down to Melbourne, he was lookin' for a soul to steal
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind
And he was willin' to make a deal
When he came across this young man pullin on his fiddle and pullin it hot
And then Ricky jumped up on a hickory stump
And said, "boy, let me tell you what"
"I guess you didn't know it but I'm a fiddle puller too
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you
Now you pull a pretty good fiddle, boy
But give ole Ricky his due
I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul
'Cause I think I'm better than you"
The boy said, "my name's Titus and it might be a sin
But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret
'Cause I'm the best there's ever been"

Titus, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Melbourne, and the devil deals the cards
And if you win, you get this shiny fiddle made of gold
But if you lose Ricky gets your soul

Then Ricky opened up his fly and he said, "I'll start this show"
And fire flew from his fingertips as he moistened up his bow
And he pulled the bow across his fingers
And it made a evil hiss
Then a band of crack whores joined in
And it sounded something like this…..


Premiership Player
Jun 13, 2014
AFL Club
Other Teams
Jealous ? I wear mine to nighclubs, the chicks love it

Already got 10 of those for sale for $500 each, all by signed by premiership Dees:

Mix Gone, Christ Protractor, Layton Cauliflower, Balley Fridge, Juke Lacksin, Alien Nerf-Bullet, Joke Leava, Stiffin Mei, Fungus Hayshaw, Sack Vinnie and coach Semen Godwon...

Also comes with certificate of authenticity signed by WA Premier, Shark McGoing.

Special introductory offer, first week only - buy 1, get 9 free...!

For full transparency, a promotional clip by my associates here:

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Premiership Player
Oct 24, 2011
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
Other Teams
Anyone who pays 750 bucks for a footy that a bunch of meathead flogs signed is just asking to be separated from their cash

Hilarious actually, especially when you think of the Melbourne supporters who fell in for it.

Even if they were real they are worthless.

Caveat Emptor. A principle that most Melbourne supporters would live by in their business dealings

Economics 101: An item's worth whatever people are prepared to pay for it.

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