VelvetSledge
Moderator
- May 24, 2007
- 17,477
- 35,252
- AFL Club
- Essendon
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- Liverpool FC, Melbourne Storm
- Moderator
- #1
ESSENDON BOMBERS
In what was thought by many to be an off-season from hell, the Bombers come into 2021 with a surprisingly positive aura about them.
With the departures of Conor McKenna back home to Ireland, Orazio Fantasia back to the cesspit that is Adelaide, Adam SSSSssssaad to Brown Paper Bag Park, and Joe "I've now decided to give a s**t" Daniher to Brisbane, the list lost some decent star power.
Step up, Ben Rutten.
With the new coach taking full reign and ridding the club of the smell of "Eh, good enough" left over by John Worsfold, there seems to have been a fresh lease on life at Essendon.
Dyson Heppell looks extremely fit and strong for the first time in a couple of years, and is flourishing in his new role off half back.
With the retirement of Tom Bellchambers (and subsequent transition to ruck coach), Sam Draper is the new number 1. And he's a ******* jet.
We took three top 10 picks into the draft and left with the extremely versatile Nik Cox, the Harris Andrews-like Zach Reid, and the male model Archie Perkins. Or something like that.
The Essendon academy played its part too, with Cody Brand and Josh Eyre making their way onto the senior list after impressing the club with their attitude to training.
Whilst we lost some definite quality at the trade table, we brought in a decent chunk too. Jye Caldwell is a ready-made inside mid bull, Two metre Peter Wright is a match-hardened key forward / ruck option, and Nick Hind is a like-for-like replacement for that money hungry snake SssssSSSSssaad. Except he can hit a target.
With the emergence of Harrison Jones at full forward and the frankly ridiculous consistency of Cale Hooker down there too, we now have a seriously interesting forward set up. When you add in smalls like Devon Smith and Walla, the dynamic could prove to be a real game changer for the Dons this year.
It was all doom and gloom when the season ended and players wanted out, but with the start of a new season comes a chance to start fresh. For Essendon, that's been made all the more real with the attitudes of coaches and leaders at the club. There really seems to be an overwhelmingly positive outlook from the Bombers and us fans. We have lowered expectations this year, but if our performance against Geelong a couple of weeks ago was anything to go by, we might surprise a few this year.
Will we be there on the final day in September? No. Unless we want to revisit the 93 Baby Bombers side.
But we can expect much better effort, an improved game plan with plans B and C, and a coaching team that really connects with its players. It looks like we're playing for Truck, and that's a huge step to getting back where this great club belongs.
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HAWTHORNE HAWKES
It's not so much a case of how the mighty have fallen, but more of a time for the Hawkes to rebuild their side without totally bottoming out.
Whilst this is probably the worst side that Hawthorn have had in over a decade, they've been lucky enough to hold onto some serious players, and find some stars in the making.
Worpel and Sicily will lead the Hawkes into the next stage of their existence, but until they're properly ready to take the next step, Ben McEvoy has stepped up as captain after the retirement of Ben Stratton.
The Hawkes have also lost another member of that all-conquering back-to-back-to-back team with Isaac Smith crossing to arch-rivals Geelong, and you can really see the start of something new now. Gone are the days of reminiscing on that golden period in Hawthorne's history, and welcome to the new generation. That said, the recruitment of the bargain-basement price Tom Phillips from Collingwood looks to have been an astute investment.
Damon Greaves gathered 18 touches in a half a few weeks ago, and Jacob Kositschkehgekhzkehkkegdfhdzzhkekeke was the story of the day with a huge 6-goal performance.
Changkuoth Jiath continues to impress with every game he plays, and will be looking to cement his spot in the side next to Hardwick, Frost, and *snorts* Kyle Hartigan.
It hasn't been a fantasic off-season for the Hawkes, with all that being said.
Tom Scully retired halfway through the off-season, and Jonathon Patton was uncovered to be a dick-pic wielding sex maniac who's autocorrect translates the words "Hey, how are you?" to "Let's * it out".
* Hawthorne.
ESSENDON SUB: Tom Cutler
HAWTHORNE SUB: Connor Downie
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DEBUTS:
ESSENDON: Jye Caldwell (#6, GWS Giants), Nik Cox (#13, Northern Knights), Nick Hind (#19, St Kilda Saints), Peter Wright (#20, Gold Coast Suns), Harrison Jones (#23, Calder Cannons)
HAWTHORNE: Jacob Koschitzke (#34, Murray Bushrangers), Tyler Brockman (#42, Subiaco)
The Bombers ring in the Ben Rutten era with wholesale changes and five new faces. Missing are the names of Zaharakis, Guelfi, Stringer, Perkins, and Waterman, who haven't quite made the cut due to either fitness or inexperience at this time. In come three trades from other clubs, and two debutants; one fresh from last year's draft crop and one who has spent his time on the sidelines building slowly.
The Bombers moved heaven and earth to secure the signature of Jye Caldwell, the bullocking brutish kid from GWS who simply hasn't had a chance to shine through both injury and limited chances behind the star-studded midfield of those orange pricks. He has shown a ton of work in the two small snippets we've seen of him, and we can only hope this number 6 sticks around for a long time. Unlike that tall snake who abandoned it before him. Anyhow, I digress; it's also great to see a proper key forward come to the club. Two metre Peter Wright was the hottest thing in the league some years back before injury and form let him down. He was pushed by the wayside by the freakish Ben King up on the Gold Coast, and as such, saw fit to move back to Melbourne to try and get a fresh start. Lo and behold, the Dons were keen from the get go, and it's easy to see why. A powerful, 200cm+ target who marks strongly and kicks truly is a weapon that seldom falls into ones lap, but here we are. The Dons also saw fit to bring Nick Hind back from the grubby mitts of St Kilda back to his home at Tullamarine; a very strong replacement to Adam Saad who moved to a club 20 minutes away because of family reasons and/or not wanting to play as a lockdown defender. Bawww. The Bombers are also finally debuting Harrison Jones, a tall, strong, and accurate kicking key forward who had to spend the entirety of 2020 building a muscle and fitness base, plus also plying his trade away from any VFL comp. He will be joined by the 2020 Pick #8, Nik Cox; one of the most versatile and agile 200cm players in the league. Named at Half Forward, we will likely see him float through the flanks and even through the wings with his elite endurance and surprising speed.
* Hawthorne. They're also playing kids.
ROUND 14, 2020
Adelaide Oval
27/8/2020
HAWTHORNE HAWKES 10.11 71
def. by
ESSENDON BOMBERS 13.9 87
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ESSENDON GOALS: Daniher 3 (* off), McDonald-Tipungwuti, Stringer, Hooker, Clarke 2, Stewart, Langford
HAWTHORNE GOALS: Howe, Scully, Gunston 2, Worpel, Cousins, Minchington, O'Brien
ESSENDON BEST: McGrath, Merrett, Daniher (* off), Shiel, Smith, Langford
HAWTHORNE BEST: McEvoy, Worpel, Scrimshaw, Mitchell, Scully, Cousins
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CHANGES SINCE THEN
ESSENDON OUTS: Saad (* off), Daniher (also * off), Gleeson, Stewart, Mosquito, Phillips, Stringer, Zerk-Thatcher, Guelfi, Clarke
ESSENDON INS: Laverde, Francis, Hind, Heppell, Cox, Jones, Wright, Draper, Caldwell, Cahill
HAWTHORNE OUTS: Scrimshaw, Cousins, Scully, Hartley, Glass, Gunston, Wingard, Minchington, Patton
HAWTHORNE INS: Brockman, Burgoyne, Koschitzke, Phillips, O'Meara, Impey, Morrison, Hartigan, Moore
Footy's back in Melbourne, and back with a crowd. If you're lucky enough to be heading in, then down a mid-strength room temperature beer and burn your mouth on a Vesuvius-like explosion of gravy, meat and rendered horse fat from a pie for me.
* Hawthorne.
Essendon by 14.
(I'm actually away in Queensland at the moment hence the lack of Photoshoppery content. I'll have more attempts at humour next week when I'm back in Melbourne)
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