VelvetSledge
Moderator
- May 24, 2007
- 17,489
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- Liverpool FC, Melbourne Storm
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- #1
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Not much to write for last week as it's Round 1, and the performances of the JLT series left nothing but sour tastes in our collective mouths. With all being said and done through the pre-season, with injury concerns for both sides, and with the hopes of 70,000 Essendon members and, like, 7 guys in orange, there's no real point in dwelling on the past few weeks.
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ESSENDON EMERGENCIES
Brandon Zerk-Thatcher, Darcy Parish, Zac Clarke, Jayden Laverde
GWS EMERGENCIES
Isaac Cumming, Matthew Flynn, Matt Buntine, Jackson Hately
Realistically, we've got the best team out there that we can muster right now. With towering pillars of man-bun-moustache strength, Cale Hooker and Joe Daniher out, we've had to resort to Paddy Ambrose down at full-back, and we've had to rely on the king of the world, our savior, lord and icon, Shaun McKernan. Lord Smack. After somewhat of a breakout season last year before a hamstring injury cruelled his plans for world domination, now he's back, ready and willing to split open the GWS defence like the hull of the Titanic after that iceberg wrecked its s**t. The surprise would have to be Darcy Parish missing from the line-up, considering how strong he looked through the pre-season. With this in mind, you feel as though it won't be long until he's back in the starting 22.
The Giants are missing some of their best players already, with not-so-Norf-bound Josh Kelly out for another week or so, captain Callan Ward in a moonboot for a little bit longer, while the returning Shane Mumford is suspended for ploughing a line of cocaine thicker than a bowl of cold porridge.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #9 - DYLAN SHIEL
Arguably the biggest off-season move over the 2018 trade period was that of Travis Colyer. The fleet-footed speedster made a highly publicated, dramatic last minute move from 16-time premiers Essendon to the struggling Fremantle Dockers, based in his home state of WA. And Perf. Aside from that, we signed some bloke from Western Sydney called Dylan Shiel, who is apparently pretty handy.
All jest aside, and the pre-season was dominated by this man. The original will-he-or-won't-he, the decision of clubs of which he could choose, the eventual see-sawing between Carlton, Hawthorn, and ourselves. The much-publicised suck-up by (****) Carlton, involving a private jet flying to Cairns alongside West Coast club legend, Chris Judd, for some reason. The public announcement of confidence from those morons at Ikon Park. The subtle arrogance from Hawthorn public figures and fans. There are hilarious comments, even on this particular forum, stating that Shiel to Hawthorn was as good as done, 100% signed and sealed, ready to wear the questionable colours of Brown and Gold for the rest of his playing career. Unbeknownst to those “in the know”, the Dons had done all that was required. No great elaborate suck up ruses, no champage and caviar on a Learjet. No public announcements. A simple coffee with the playing leaders of the club. A quiet discussion about what we want to do as a club, and where we see ourselves. An in-depth discussion of where Dylan would fit in. As it turns out, it was enough.
The dynamic, fleet footed midfielder chose to don the red and black. After our strong finish to the season last year, the excellent group of youngsters and mid-career players, and the potential to dominate teams with a tiny swing in momentum, Shiel saw fit to nominate The Hangar as his new home, and he has been welcomed with open arms. With an unbelievably strong body, an immense work ethic, and, sadly, more finals experience than any other Essendon player, it was a no-brainer for Dodoro and co to move heaven and earth to sign him. Donning the recently vacated number 9 guernsey, expect to see the strong jawline and bulging calves (I’m not hard, you’re hard) smashing through the new 6-6-6 ball-up formation and punting the pill directly into our forward line. This week, he comes up against his old team straight away, which will be a bizarre situation for him. Whilst I could say that he will bring some inside knowledge to the Bombers engine room involving GWS, we may not need it; we’ve defeated the Giants the last two years straight, and their team is more depleted now with some significant losses over the 2018 off-season. It will be interesting to see Shiel line up in a reinvigorated Essendon midfield against the likes of Coniglio, Ward, and... Uhh..... Not himself?
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #1 - ANDREW McGRATH
The general dicky clichés of “had the best-preseason", “best he’s ever looked”, “dominating match sims” have been thrown about from all corners of the AFL throughout the entire pre-season. At this rate, 98% of players are going to tear apart the competition. You’d be expecting 200-point scorelines if there was any truth to most of these claims, but in the case of Pigeon McGrath, we’re all seeing that there is some genuine weight to the buzz. When a player puts on a few kilos going into his third season, it’s to be expected. When he looks to have put 90% of that onto his shoulders, eyebrows raise. When he grows a ****ing mullet, he means business. The #1 guernsey and 2016 #1 draft pick has been a standout performer in this Essendon side since he debuted against Hawthorn in Round 1, 2017. He came back into The Hangar after a 10-week break having stacked on a heap of muscle through his core and shoulders to bring down bigger players with his tackles, and considering his slightly smaller stature, his strength through the core will see him able to stand up in tackles when he inevitably gets attacked by opposing mids. Whilst spending his first two seasons running through the backline and up to the wing, with his new rig this year, you’d think that he will start as a mid now. 2019 will be the year of McGrath. I’d be shocked if he didn’t finish top 3 in the Best and Fairest this season.
GWS GIANTS - #3 - STEPHEN CONIGLIO
With the departure of Dylan Shiel to Essendon and Tom Scully to Hawthorn, Stephen Coniglio quickly becomes one of the more experienced and dangerous midfielders in the once-rich stocks of GWS midfielders. The 25-year old ball magnet came back from an injury-hit 2017 to put himself among the elite two-way runners within the comp. He ranked second at the Giants for clearances in 2018, and should be considered stiff to have missed the AA squad last year. The real danger with Coniglio is his insane ability to get up forward and kick goals with his breakaway straight-line speed, and the running Essendon half-backs in McKenna and Saad would be wise to watch out for him running off the wings. It’s gonna be s**t for GWS when he bails back to WA at the end of the year.
GWS GIANTS - #22 - JOSH KELLY
I know he's not playing, but ****ing lol Norf
A new addition this year; The Golden Kipfler celebrates the spuddiest player on the opposing side.
While the Round 1 nomination for the Golden Kipfler isn't playing today, and probably shouldn't play again, he does make for a fantastic stunt double for Elijah Wood, or even perhaps a fried Charisma Potato. I say charisma, because they're low carb potatoes, and that's just f**king useless. Just like...
Round 1 Nomination for the Golden Kipfler
Dylan Buckley, GWS
And here we are again. The finals were run and done, a brilliant Grand Final with a brilliant result; one of the old enemies, Collingwood, being defeated with a Dom Sheed pearler from the boundary with only a few minutes left. The glorious sight of Eddie McGuire’s fat cranium swelling to within an inch of its tether, the Collingwood fans/Centrelink beneficiaries swearing and screaming and going off like a frog in a sock... It was all a wonderful experience, with one glaring negative aspect. There was, again, no Essendon on the last day in September. Nay, there was no Essendon throughout the entirety of September, from day dot. 2018 started well enough with a last minute victory against reigning Grand Finalists, Adelaide, prior to the walls falling off with no hope of them being bolted back on in time. Losses that should have been wins cultivated a shitty points total by Round 9, which is where we decided to start playing again.
Once again, we found ourselves incapable of winning a final. We played some of the most attractive, damaging football throughout the season, but it wasn’t enough to repair the damage caused by our garbage start to the season. We were cooked. The almost All-Australian season of Devon Smith went wholly unrewarded outside the four walls of the club, and with Joe Daniher not playing after being diagnosed with OP (which is somehow still a hot topic) in Round 7, we found ourselves too far back to the field to be able to catch up. Great wins against Port Adelaide (twice), Geelong, Sydney, eventual premiers West Coast and today’s opponents, the Giants, were simply not enough. And so, we were resigned to the doldrums of September spectators once again.
Fast forward to the trade period, where it become known that Dylan Shiel, the brilliant GWS onballer, was looking to return home to Melbourne. Understandable interest flocked from all corners of the Victorian football heirarchy – until four eventual favourites appeared to sort themselves clear from the rest of the riff raff. Carlton flew Shiel up to Cairns on their CEO’s private jet, wheeling out all the bells, whistles, caviar and Chris Judds (seriously) in an effort to impress the supremely talented gun Giant. Hawthorne fans were all but convinced that he had signed for them, and some, for some reason, still are. Our “Delusional Pearler” thread makes for hilarious reading when you find the Hawks’ reasonings behind the eventual outcome. The Saints had money to burn and a serious yearning for another ball-winner, when you consider that Jack Steven is getting on in years and can’t continue to be the only key man in the middle. This left the Bombers. The last option, some would consider, when their bid was the lowest in dollar value, having spent a large sum in the previous trade period when they signed up Adam Saad, Jake Stringer, and the aforementioned Devon Smith. So imagine our surprise when, one day, news started to filter through of the strong-chinned Giant having made his decision to sign up with the red and black. What followed was an incessant (and, again, still continuing) will-he-won't-he mess of “stories” posted by footy journos, which, overall, could be likened to a guessing game with literally no basis or solid evidence whatsoever. Old mate purple warrior is still going on about it too, seemingly convinced that Shiel was going to sign for Carlton, even though he’s worn the red and black twice now and has been an Essendon player for some months. Let it go Damien, you’re making yourself look like more of a knob.
And so, summer came and went. The Indian cricket team visited Australia, and left. The year turned from 2018 to 2019, and so continued the world’s spinning. The Australian Open ran through Melbourne for two weeks, somewhat filling the sporting void to a degree; the Premier League continued to delight Liverpool fans like myself. **** City. The countdown was on until the real stuff was back. The AFLW kicked up, and sure, it does something for people here and there, but I can’t get into it. AFLX somehow made a return, and yeah, it wasn’t as bad as we were thinking, but it was still a flashy mess. The JLT reared it’s head again and raised two questions; “What does JLT stand for, what do they do, I don’t really care I’m not going to Google it”, and “Jesus Christ why are we playing so s**t, WE SIGNED SHIEL SURELY THIS MEANS WE’RE FINISHING 18TH FFFF*************K”.
Let’s step back now. It’s Round 1, and the JLT means about as much to the footy world as common sense and decency means to Fraser Anning. We’re coming in with new rules (which no-one asked for), new umpiring mechanics (which no-one asked for), and new interpretations of the game we love (which no-one asked for). The time for talking is over, and, unlike seasons past, I don’t feel as though I can give a half-decent prediction for 2019. We know the benchmark. We should be aiming to win a final at the bare minimum. Will we be happy with that? Hell no. I want a flag. We have all the ingredients to be challenging now. A midfield with Heppell, Merrett, Shiel, and Smith. A forward line consisting of Daniher (eventually), Fantasia, Stringer and McDonald-Tipungwuti. The fastest half-back line in the league with Saad and McKenna. A defence consisting of one of the games best swingmen in Hooker, alongside the game’s best pure man on man defender, Michael Hurley.
This is it, we have the means. It’s just up to the boys who run out today to make it reality.
Go Bombers.
An A-grade effort from our very own Loonerty , telling you all to stop being prats.
Footy is finally back. My, and probably collectively, our favourite sport. It’s been 6 long months without it in our lives, and I’m incredibly excited.
What I’m NOT excited about however, is the ridiculous pessimism on display from a large number of posters on this board. We lost two preseason games and that’s it, season’s over, it was a nice two weeks but clearly we aren’t achieving anything.
How pathetic. I haven’t waited this long for the season to start to immediately, before a regular season game is played, down tools and bitch about how it’s going to be a long season. I bet some of you are already thinking about what draft picks we will get, who should be delisted, who should be traded.
The attitude that has developed on this board over the last couple of years are big parts of what is driving me away. I can’t stand reading such overwhelming negativity this early in the year. It does my head in.
Yes it’s been a long time since we won a final, yes last season was difficult, but that’s no reason to be entirely negative. Instead of moping, how about we actually SUPPORT the team we all claim to? How about a bit of positivity? You can be optimistic without pumping tires so much you fall into a depression when they pop. Manage your expectations. Don’t expect a premiership. Don’t expect top 4. Don’t expect anything. Just support the boys.
Let’s not throw the toys out of the cot after round 1, let’s stay positive. Let’s be reasonable with each other and let’s all enjoy season 2019.
Go the ******* Bombers.
Another new segment in these threads is "The Other Side" - a look at the game from an opposition standpoint. This week, the brilliant GWS Moderator, Giant Strides has elected to help get this segment off and running.
So, I've been asked to write some opposition comments for this game. It doesn't need much imagination to guess the first comment - isn't it great that footy's back! Yeah - even in western Sydney. Hopefully the crypt will open in the graveyard and disgorge the hordes of orange and grey zombies to fill Giants Stadium for round 1. Giants fans will be keen to warmly welcome past players in Dev Smith & Dylan Shiel back to their old stomping ground. Flaming torches and pitchforks kinda welcome.
On the field, while GWS are starting favourites with the bookies, I think realistically it's going to be closer than that. While the GWS forwards and defence probably line up pretty evenly or a touch in front of their Bombers' counterparts, unfortunately, GWS is missing a few of its best midfielders. The reliable Callan Ward misses his first game in about 5 years, superstar Josh Kelly is still sore from post-2018 season surgery, and Dylan Shiel accepted some lollies from a stranger and was last seen being bundled into a dark van on its way to Melbourne. The clearance battle is probably going to determine the game, so for GWS we will need Coniglio (that's pronounced co-kneel-e-o - https://www.gwsgiants.com.au/video/2019-03-19/its-coniglio), Tim Taranto, Jacob Hopper (who's a bit underdone), MdB and Harry Perryman to really step up. Against Heppell, Shiel, Myers, Zaharakis, McGrath & Langford that's a tough ask but here's hoping the local lads are up for the battle.
In the forward line, GWS has eschewed previous seasons' 3-tall attack, to line up with just the two talls in this game, and a fleet of smaller players. So, we're all keen to see how the new approach works. Fans everyone will be especially excited to see that Toby Greene is kung fu fighting fit to start season 2019, and his combination with fellow pint-sized forward Brent Daniels is something GWS fans are looking forward to seeing. Hopefully Jezza is fresh after the off-season to clunk some marks (that's the red thing, not the hairy thing) and kick some goals.
Equally exciting is that Zac Williams is back playing after missing almost all of last season, and expect him to line up on ORAZIO! or Tippa, in a battle of the speedsters. Zaccy was scintillating in the two finals - his only games - in 2018. He should be ready to rip season 2019 apart, and we hope he starts with the Bombers. While not directly opposing each other, it will be interesting to see how the running defender battle (Williams-Kennedy-Whitfield vs Saad-McKenna) pans out. Apart from the midfield, the defensive counterattack is another area of the game that could tip it for one team or the other. Phil Davis will be looking to put an early stamp on the season as a KPD, and keen for another notch on his belt. You never know, with Rance out for the season, there could even be a place in the AA team for someone else so worth setting down an early marker. (Too soon for any Tigers' fans?)
Anyway, it's a ripper of a game for the two teams to start with. Some grudges to be pursued, and a good start to be had for the winner. Can't wait for the big, big sound from the west of the town.
ROUND 10, 2018
Showgrounds Stadium
26/5/18
GWS GIANTS 8.12 60
def. by
ESSENDON BOMBERS 14.11 95
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ESSENDON BEST: Zaharakis, Heppell, Merrett, Saad
ESSENDON GOALS: Baguley, Stringer 3, Goddard, Zaharakis, McKernan, Smith, Stewart, Fantasia, Langford, McGrath
GIANTS BEST: Shaw, Ward, Coniglio
GIANTS GOALS: Buckley, Cameron 2, Griffen, Patton, Coniglio, Langdon
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CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: Goddard, Laverde, Hooker, Stewart, Dea
ESSENDON INS: Myers, Shiel, Brown, Hurley, Francis
GIANTS OUTS: Ward, Kelly, Shiel, Haynes, Patton, Griffen, Corr, Buntine, Lobb, Mohr, Buckley, Langdon
GIANTS INS: Davis, Williams, Kennedy, De Boer, Taylor, Deledio, Keeffe, Daniels, Greene, Finlayson, Reid, Simpson
MELBOURNE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST), FOX Sports 3 (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST)
RADIO: Triple M, 3AW, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
SYDNEY:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST), FOX Sports 3 (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST)
RADIO: Macquarie Sports Radio, ABC, Triple M (Digital)
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
ADELAIDE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 2.30pm ACDST), FOX Sports 3 (LIVE at 2.30pm ACDST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 2.30pm ACDST)
RADIO: FIVEaa, Triple M, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
PERTH:
TV: FOX Sports 3 (LIVE at 12.00pm AWDST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 12.00pm AWST)
RADIO: ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
BRISBANE:
TV: FOX Sports 3 (LIVE at 2.00pm QST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 2.00pm QST)
RADIO: Macquarie Sports Radio, NIRS
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
TASMANIA:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST), FOX Sports 3 (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 3.00pm AEDST)
RADIO: Triple M, ABC, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
DARWIN:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST), FOX Sports 3 (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.30pm ACST)
RADIO: NIRS, ABC, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
After performing like a festering silo of s**t throughout the JLT, and with our main key forward out with another shitty injury, the barrage of negativity surrounding this forum has been nigh on unbearable. Thankfully, Essendon players don’t read the dross that a lot of “supporters” type on here, so their mindset should be firmly on the task at hand. A significantly weaker Giants side than years past faces us at their own home in Sydney, and while a lot of people are of the impression that we’re up the proverbial creek without a paddle, we realistically should be able to come away with the points here. We traditionally play very well in Round 1 (before a trademark fall, I get it, yahyah), and considering the new faces we’ve added while the Giants have lost, we should be able to get the points here.
Bombers by 36.
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