Round Round 13 Matchday Discussion - F*** the Byes edition

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Loose at HB

Professional Melter
Apr 20, 2018
2,802
10,492
Melbourne
AFL Club
Carlton
Bye (noun);
  • 1) If someone is given a bye, they are allowed to miss out part of a competition and continue to the next stage without having to win anything. (shoutouts Cambridge Dictionary)
Example; The Blues can’t embarrass themselves this week because they have the bye.
  • 2) Short form of “goodbye” – used to farewell someone or something
Example; Bye bye Highmore you massive ******* spud, can’t believe I waited 10 weeks for you to not even make 70k you useless campaigner.
  • 3) A diabolical sporting invention designed solely and purely to fu** with players of the fantasy football game “SuperCoach”. Often used in plural
Example; fu** THE BYES

Ever since they came into being in 2011, the byes have been a source of melts across the land. While they were initially drawn up as a weekly problem, the SC gods realised that there was a better way to screw with us and thus, the multi-bye rounds were born. There’s something about the MBR’s that throws all normal convention regarding SuperCoach out the window – that premo that’s only out for a week? Time to boot him sideways. New rookie debuting in a good side who will likely be out next week? Bring him in without a second thought. sh*t small forward playing for St. Kilda that is going to sit as deadwood on the bench for the rest of the year? Doesn’t matter, he gets you to the magic number this week.


Daddy said I could find puppies back here!!

For those of you who have been around this splendid place long enough to remember, many moons ago I once wrote about the different breeds of SuperCoacher that thrive towards the end of the season. Well, on this episode of Loose at HB’s Wildlife on BigFooty, we’ll be talking about the different subtypes of campaigner when it comes to navigating the virus that is the byes. And trust me, there’s no herd immunity here.

  • Vale consiliumus – also known as the Bye Planner, this Coach spends every waking second of preseason going through about 1500 different starting team structures in order to at least ensure the Byes take them out to dinner first. This is the kind of kent that won’t start with both Bont and Macrae because it “doesn’t suit my byes”. This Coach seems to largely be a dying breed – many seem to have accepted that the AFL and Campaigner Data will do anything to fu** with us and simply pick players who are KOTD and worry about the rest later. Alas, some do still persist.
the bye planner.png

What the average Bye Planner’s January day looks like

  • Absens sollicitus – colloquially referred as the “bloke who shits himself around Round 10”, this Coach puts no thought into the byes in pre-season but starts mentioning his bye structure around Round 6 to convince himself that he actually did think about it. By Round 9-10 when reality sets in and he’s only got 10 players in Round 14, there’s usually around 5-6 successive posts in the Trades thread each week asking about how he can get himself out of the hole that he didn’t give a fu** about 3 months ago but has now suddenly realised might make or break his season. You know, because the byes are what’s wrong with their team. Not stupid sh*t like starting with Dom Tyson….

You can’t say they didn’t try…

  • Absens neclegius – the overwhelmingly dominant breed seen every winter. They don’t look at the byes in preseason. They don’t look at the byes in Round 10. They don’t even look at the byes when they’re happening. They’re often seen in packs, much like wolves and come out under the full moon to cry out from the top of the hills…

fu** THE BYES!!!!

If we’re honest, there’s probably a bit of all 3 breeds in all of us. Well, maybe not the Bye Planner, but the other two :moustache:. The byes are particularly rage inducing this year with the big fixture change of Richmond and West Coast to this week, leaving even the most ardent bye advocator at a loss to defend the dumpster fire that will befall most coaches next week. That’s next week’s problem though. Onto the games :moustache:


PORT ADELAIDE vs GEELONG
The first game of the round presents us with 2 teams coming off the bye and brings with it a lot of interest for those looking to upgrade. Travis Boak will likely be the most common target from the Power at 533k and an average a fraction under 110, however he has admittedly only hit the ton once in his last 4 starts. Ollie Wines will also attract some attention at 550k but in terms of mid premos, there’s probably better options out there. Lachie Jones put up 80 in his last outing and will be very useful on field throughout the byes while for those still holding onto Miles Bergman, the curse of the sub during his last appearance means even though he’s a reasonable chance of playing through the byes, he needs to go.

The Cats should have a gaggle of stud SP midfielders returning; Cam Guthrie and Mitch Duncan missed the Cats last outing with a shoulder injury and concussion respectively but both shape as likely inclusions for Thursday night. The question mark around both is their price and the looming return of one of the original KOTD Kings in Patrick Dangerfield, the man who has been a lock for the better part of the last decade set to plummet in price over the next fortnight and become a juicy final forward upgrade. He’s not guaranteed to return this week but given how much the Dangerman loves the stage and, more importantly, himself, I’d be pretty confident that he suits up tomorrow night.

homerdanger.jpeg

I assure you Danger has his priorities right

The only other 2 really SC relevant Cats are a pair of studs named Tom – Stewart has pretty well bottomed out at 522k while the Tomahawk seems to have played himself into some solid form and looks likely be a top 10 forward for the run home. At 513k, he's absolutely worth a look.


SYDNEY vs HAWTHORN
The Mighty Gull once again disgracefully managed to post another ton but in typical fashion went out of the game completely in the last quarter when the heat was on. Callum Mills delivered his 7th ton in a row and nobody would question his chances of making it eight against the Hawks “midfield”, while Tom Hickey continues to have the best managed PCL injury of all time and would loom as a solid option for those trading Manbundy if not for his diabolical bye. There’s also a couple of blonde surfer-looking campaigners that a few of us seem to own who were both pretty ******* shithouse; Isaac Heeney was only really let off by whatever the fu** Jack Higgins was doing down the other end while Chad Warner has unfortunately outstayed his welcome and has already been flagged as being rested this week.

Ned Reeves broke the record for the most traded in donut of all time last week and those among that group will be hoping Clarko doesn’t have a classically campaigner move in store. Tom Mitchell struggled with the tag last time out but should have no such worries this week, as Horse deciding to tag Titch would be an admission that he does rate him after all. Jarman Impey and CJ have struggled to gull as efficiently in recent weeks as Clarko has thrown the magnets around and although Impey is worth holding on to for now, CJ likely needs to go regardless of bye situation. Coaches won’t really mind too much though if one of those magnets has the name “Jai Newcombe” on it come Thursday night….

rookiesaviourFINAL.gif

He is the chosen one….


FREMANTLE vs GOLD COAST
Watching Freo last Sunday would turn off even the bravest man from trading in other Freo player – the poor bastards seem to be cursed. The Dockers lost 4 key players last week including captain and, unfortunately, SC burnman Nat Fyfe, who will likely need surgery on a dislocated shoulder and in the process will sadly be placed on the never again list for many coaches. In somewhat positive news, his absence should be good news for those with Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra as Justin Longmuir will be forced to play them both out of the centre square. Brayshaw looks like the more steady option as a long-term M8 and those with Cerra should still consider a trade next week. Luke Ryan went large with his third ton since returning and at 539k is quite well priced, yet unfortunately the curse that is R14 will turn many off. However, the best news for Freo and for 18.7% of SCers was the performance of SP Josh Treacy, the man taking a leaf out of the book of the famous Baby John Burgess to finally deliver a score worthy of acknowledgement when it was most needed.

baby john treacy.png

It’s happened again…

Writing about the Suns continues to be the easiest part of this gig – there’s SP Touk Miller and not a whole lot else. Touk Touk still only sits at 1.5% ownership and although he is far from cheap, 616k is a sight more approachable than what people will be looking at with regards to Parish and Bont next week. Jy Farrar has been as big a failure as Tom Highmore where cash gen is concerned and should be gone from all teams but I will save a positive mention for the likely return of ranga god Matty Rowell. I’ve never seen love quite like it for a kid that’s played 6 games – all the best to him on return :moustache:


ST. KILDA vs ADELAIDE
There are rookies that come in and average 60 and crawl to 250k. There are rookies that play 2 games and then never play again. There are rookies that, very rarely, get above 350k and are saluted with tears upon their eventual slaughtering. And then there are rookies who you keep for weeks on end because of their low BE ONLY FOR THEIR ABSOLUTE campaigner OF A COACH TO THROW THEM AROUND, MAKE THEM THE SUB AND THEN FORCE THEM TO PLAY A ROLE THEY’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE IN THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY COME ON. GET f’ed RATTS YOU USELESS TURD

Ahem. Now that that’s out of my system, I think it goes without saying that Tom Highmore needs to go even though St. Kilda have about 25 fit players which will force Ratts into giving him a starting gig… probably. Jack Steele was legitimately good last week so for once I can’t really cook him for being KOTD while I sincerely hope nobody still has Hunter Clark. Ryan Byrnes was okay and truth be told, has just shaded his contest with RCD in terms of cash generation.

There were some kents on here last week with far larger Chols than I who slapped the C on hybrid seagull-pig Rory Laird and he repaid them in fine fettle, a 144 by far his biggest score of the season. Nobody relevant still has Tex Walker but his week off appears to have rejuvenated him somewhat, 3 tons in a row keeping him firmly in the rear view mirror for some Coaches. Reilly O’Brien was looked at last week as an option for those trading out the Manbun and a second consecutive monster score will have those with him currently thinking that they're onto a winner. Finally, in reassuring news that not all in the world is utterly f’ed, Jimmy Rowe returned to being a potato and should be traded out if you’ve still got him.

NORTH MELBOURNE vs GWS
Gullapalooza 2021 returns from its week-long hiatus with Jack Ziegull and right-hand-man Aaron Hall likely to have no shortage of chips against the Giants this week. Hall actually has the second highest 5-round-average across SC as far as forwards are concerned (number 1 is Dayne Zorko) and while he will be a popular pick this week, the risk involved now at 502k is significantly higher than what it was 3-4 weeks ago. Ben Cunnington will be of interest to some and a 5-round average of 120 is tempting for a bloke priced at 550k but he has never truly broken through the barrier of sub-premo across 22 rounds – if you’re looking for a true SP in the mids I don’t think he’s your man.

Josh Kelly will be well prepared for Sunday after spending his week off practicing in the Snowy Mountains and there’s a good chance he’ll be joined by Toby Greene, the bloke affectionately known as Punchable around these parts looking like he’ll fit right in with most people’s forward lines full of injury-prone burnmen. At 463k and a BE of 118 you can afford to wait a week and see how he goes, but there is a chance he goes nuclear against the Roos. Tim Taranto was on a mission to kick the ball as far away from his teammates as possible last time out but is the least of most Coaches’ concerns while most eyes will be on Lachie Whitfield at 503k who has returned to form after a slowish first few games. GWS medical staff are concerned about an incident where he brushed his left leg against his bed earlier this week, resulting in him running laps away from the main group.

fragilewhitfieldFINAL.gif

Alright Lachie, now don’t you let those dust particles get anywhere near you okay?


WEST COAST vs RICHMOND
Shoutouts to the AFL for 1) giving me more work this week, 2) ruining everyone’s bye structures and 3) killing whatever chance we had of actually getting a reasonable R14 mid rook. Nic Nat was a popular trade in last week for Brodie Grundy and didn’t fail at all against the Blues with his 4th score in a row over 120. There’s almost no cash gained from doing the same trade this week and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’ve got plenty to spare. Andrew Gaff tonned up but still isn’t really somewhere you should be looking while Shannon Hurn was hot early but did what old people tend to do and forgot there was a game on after half time. Luke Edwards looked good on debut but unfortunately he’s lost to us until R15 – one to watch however.

There’s an oddity when you sort the Richmond players on SC by average – the super stud that is Callum-Coleman Jones turns up at number 1. CCJ looked brilliant again and even with the AFL completely cooking next week for us, you’d be hard pressed to find any coach that lets him go. Shai Bolton continues to be freakishly consistent – his only game under the ton in the last 7 was a 99 and at 523k, there’s a decision to be made around him now given he’s no longer available next week. Dustin Martin tonned up but his scoring is borderline irrelevant at this point while Jayden Short’s magical disappearing act only seems to be getting better with time. Given the change to the Tiges bye, those with trades aplenty may look at moving him on... shortly :moustache:. RCD has completely cooked his cash gen and whatever his ownership is at the end of the round will directly correspond to how many people have stopped giving a fu** since he came in.


MELBOURNE vs COLLINGWOOD
Big Max is slowly returning to proper Maxxxy form and a delicious 138 was provided to many who blessed him with the VC. He’ll be a popular captain option again this week given his ruck competition will consist of Darcy Cameron and a second gamer. The Olliepig nudged over 700k despite crashing back to Earth after a quite-frankly-absurd month of footy but the slack was picked up by Christian Petracca, whose 130 raised more questions about how the fu** this CD algorithm actually works. Christian Salem has had a very poor fortnight and went another week allowing Steven May to swoop on all the chips, the defender finally getting over the ton for those who traded him in at 400k. James Jordon has bounced back wonderfully well since an average outing 2 weeks back and would have rookie of the year sown up if not for a certain late challenger on the other side of the fence….

poulterchallengerFINAL.gif

Introducing….

Caleb Poulter is that challenger. Outside of an intermittent inability to kick, the young wingman has been brilliant and may be worth keeping long term as F7/M9 cover if you don’t require his cash gen for other upgrades. He’s been ably supported by another young midfielder in Trent Bianco for the past fortnight, an 83 and 75 since debuting making him another rook in the vein of CCJ that is simply too good to ignore despite the bye. Nathan Murphy hasn’t really taken their lead and fell short of the lofty mark of 40 in a new role up forward, while Steele Sidebottom finally managed to break through the 100 barrier on his way to 117. His lowest score in his last 8 starts currently sits at 85, so you know what you’re getting. A similar sentiment should be held for Jack Crisp who seems to be making a mockery of his previously not-SC-friendly status with his fifth ton in a row and a 5-round average firmly in SP territory. At 536k, he’s one to consider given the changes in form and role of popular picks like Ridley and Short.



It is with a heavy heart that I must conclude this by saying that I will unfortunately have to hand the mantle of preview writer back to the Board for the time being – or rather directly to Here2tellyouwhy next week for some drunk boomer degen goodness. Work will not allow me the weekly consistency to commit to these for the moment but this is absolutely not the last essay you’ll see me write this year :moustache: Much appreciation to everyone who’s shown these posts love over the last 5-6 weeks – you kents are the reason I write them and why I want to keep writing them in future.



May the Chol be with you. And, once again, fu** the byes :moustache:
 

Northernsoul74

Brownlow Medallist
Jun 19, 2016
12,427
20,476
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Bye (noun);
  • 1) If someone is given a bye, they are allowed to miss out part of a competition and continue to the next stage without having to win anything. (shoutouts Cambridge Dictionary)
Example; The Blues can’t embarrass themselves this week because they have the bye.
  • 2) Short form of “goodbye” – used to farewell someone or something
Example; Bye bye Highmore you massive ******* spud, can’t believe I waited 10 weeks for you to not even make 70k you useless campaigner.
  • 3) A diabolical sporting invention designed solely and purely to fu** with players of the fantasy football game “SuperCoach”. Often used in plural
Example; fu** THE BYES

Ever since they came into being in 2011, the byes have been a source of melts across the land. While they were initially drawn up as a weekly problem, the SC gods realised that there was a better way to screw with us and thus, the multi-bye rounds were born. There’s something about the MBR’s that throws all normal convention regarding SuperCoach out the window – that premo that’s only out for a week? Time to boot him sideways. New rookie debuting in a good side who will likely be out next week? Bring him in without a second thought. sh*t small forward playing for St. Kilda that is going to sit as deadwood on the bench for the rest of the year? Doesn’t matter, he gets you to the magic number this week.


Daddy said I could find puppies back here!!

For those of you who have been around this splendid place long enough to remember, many moons ago I once wrote about the different breeds of SuperCoacher that thrive towards the end of the season. Well, on this episode of Loose at HB’s Wildlife on BigFooty, we’ll be talking about the different subtypes of campaigner when it comes to navigating the virus that is the byes. And trust me, there’s no herd immunity here.

  • Vale consiliumus – also known as the Bye Planner, this Coach spends every waking second of preseason going through about 1500 different starting team structures in order to at least ensure the Byes take them out to dinner first. This is the kind of kent that won’t start with both Bont and Macrae because it “doesn’t suit my byes”. This Coach seems to largely be a dying breed – many seem to have accepted that the AFL and Campaigner Data will do anything to fu** with us and simply pick players who are KOTD and worry about the rest later. Alas, some do still persist.
View attachment 1150547
What the average Bye Planner’s January day looks like

  • Absens sollicitus – colloquially referred as the “bloke who shits himself around Round 10”, this Coach puts no thought into the byes in pre-season but starts mentioning his bye structure around Round 6 to convince himself that he actually did think about it. By Round 9-10 when reality sets in and he’s only got 10 players in Round 14, there’s usually around 5-6 successive posts in the Trades thread each week asking about how he can get himself out of the hole that he didn’t give a fu** about 3 months ago but has now suddenly realised might make or break his season. You know, because the byes are what’s wrong with their team. Not stupid sh*t like starting with Dom Tyson….

You can’t say they didn’t try…

  • Absens neclegius – the overwhelmingly dominant breed seen every winter. They don’t look at the byes in preseason. They don’t look at the byes in Round 10. They don’t even look at the byes when they’re happening. They’re often seen in packs, much like wolves and come out under the full moon to cry out from the top of the hills…

fu** THE BYES!!!!

If we’re honest, there’s probably a bit of all 3 breeds in all of us. Well, maybe not the Bye Planner, but the other two :moustache:. The byes are particularly rage inducing this year with the big fixture change of Richmond and West Coast to this week, leaving even the most ardent bye advocator at a loss to defend the dumpster fire that will befall most coaches next week. That’s next week’s problem though. Onto the games :moustache:


PORT ADELAIDE vs GEELONG
The first game of the round presents us with 2 teams coming off the bye and brings with it a lot of interest for those looking to upgrade. Travis Boak will likely be the most common target from the Power at 533k and an average a fraction under 110, however he has admittedly only hit the ton once in his last 4 starts. Ollie Wines will also attract some attention at 550k but in terms of mid premos, there’s probably better options out there. Lachie Jones put up 80 in his last outing and will be very useful on field throughout the byes while for those still holding onto Miles Bergman, the curse of the sub during his last appearance means even though he’s a reasonable chance of playing through the byes, he needs to go.

The Cats should have a gaggle of stud SP midfielders returning; Cam Guthrie and Mitch Duncan missed the Cats last outing with a shoulder injury and concussion respectively but both shape as likely inclusions for Thursday night. The question mark around both is their price and the looming return of one of the original KOTD Kings in Patrick Dangerfield, the man who has been a lock for the better part of the last decade set to plummet in price over the next fortnight and become a juicy final forward upgrade. He’s not guaranteed to return this week but given how much the Dangerman loves the stage and, more importantly, himself, I’d be pretty confident that he suits up tomorrow night.

View attachment 1150550
I assure you Danger has his priorities right

The only other 2 really SC relevant Cats are a pair of studs named Tom – Stewart has pretty well bottomed out at 522k while the Tomahawk seems to have played himself into some solid form and looks likely be a top 10 forward for the run home. At 513k, he's absolutely worth a look.


SYDNEY vs HAWTHORN
The Mighty Gull once again disgracefully managed to post another ton but in typical fashion went out of the game completely in the last quarter when the heat was on. Callum Mills delivered his 7th ton in a row and nobody would question his chances of making it eight against the Hawks “midfield”, while Tom Hickey continues to have the best managed PCL injury of all time and would loom as a solid option for those trading Manbundy if not for his diabolical bye. There’s also a couple of blonde surfer-looking campaigners that a few of us seem to own who were both pretty ******* shithouse; Isaac Heeney was only really let off by whatever the fu** Jack Higgins was doing down the other end while Chad Warner has unfortunately outstayed his welcome and has already been flagged as being rested this week.

Ned Reeves broke the record for the most traded in donut of all time last week and those among that group will be hoping Clarko doesn’t have a classically campaigner move in store. Tom Mitchell struggled with the tag last time out but should have no such worries this week, as Horse deciding to tag Titch would be an admission that he does rate him after all. Jarman Impey and CJ have struggled to gull as efficiently in recent weeks as Clarko has thrown the magnets around and although Impey is worth holding on to for now, CJ likely needs to go regardless of bye situation. Coaches won’t really mind too much though if one of those magnets has the name “Jai Newcombe” on it come Thursday night….

View attachment 1150555
He is the chosen one….


FREMANTLE vs GOLD COAST
Watching Freo last Sunday would turn off even the bravest man from trading in other Freo player – the poor bastards seem to be cursed. The Dockers lost 4 key players last week including captain and, unfortunately, SC burnman Nat Fyfe, who will likely need surgery on a dislocated shoulder and in the process will sadly be placed on the never again list for many coaches. In somewhat positive news, his absence should be good news for those with Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra as Justin Longmuir will be forced to play them both out of the centre square. Brayshaw looks like the more steady option as a long-term M8 and those with Cerra should still consider a trade next week. Luke Ryan went large with his third ton since returning and at 539k is quite well priced, yet unfortunately the curse that is R14 will turn many off. However, the best news for Freo and for 18.7% of SCers was the performance of SP Josh Treacy, the man taking a leaf out of the book of the famous Baby John Burgess to finally deliver a score worthy of acknowledgement when it was most needed.

View attachment 1150565
It’s happened again…

Writing about the Suns continues to be the easiest part of this gig – there’s SP Touk Miller and not a whole lot else. Touk Touk still only sits at 1.5% ownership and although he is far from cheap, 616k is a sight more approachable than what people will be looking at with regards to Parish and Bont next week. Jy Farrar has been as big a failure as Tom Highmore where cash gen is concerned and should be gone from all teams but I will save a positive mention for the likely return of ranga god Matty Rowell. I’ve never seen love quite like it for a kid that’s played 6 games – all the best to him on return :moustache:


ST. KILDA vs ADELAIDE
There are rookies that come in and average 60 and crawl to 250k. There are rookies that play 2 games and then never play again. There are rookies that, very rarely, get above 350k and are saluted with tears upon their eventual slaughtering. And then there are rookies who you keep for weeks on end because of their low BE ONLY FOR THEIR ABSOLUTE campaigner OF A COACH TO THROW THEM AROUND, MAKE THEM THE SUB AND THEN FORCE THEM TO PLAY A ROLE THEY’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE IN THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY COME ON. GET f’ed RATTS YOU USELESS TURD

Ahem. Now that that’s out of my system, I think it goes without saying that Tom Highmore needs to go even though St. Kilda have about 25 fit players which will force Ratts into giving him a starting gig… probably. Jack Steele was legitimately good last week so for once I can’t really cook him for being KOTD while I sincerely hope nobody still has Hunter Clark. Ryan Byrnes was okay and truth be told, has just shaded his contest with RCD in terms of cash generation.

There were some kents on here last week with far larger Chols than I who slapped the C on hybrid seagull-pig Rory Laird and he repaid them in fine fettle, a 144 by far his biggest score of the season. Nobody relevant still has Tex Walker but his week off appears to have rejuvenated him somewhat, 3 tons in a row keeping him firmly in the rear view mirror for some Coaches. Reilly O’Brien was looked at last week as an option for those trading out the Manbun and a second consecutive monster score will have those with him currently thinking that they're onto a winner. Finally, in reassuring news that not all in the world is utterly f’ed, Jimmy Rowe returned to being a potato and should be traded out if you’ve still got him.

NORTH MELBOURNE vs GWS
Gullapalooza 2021 returns from its week-long hiatus with Jack Ziegull and right-hand-man Aaron Hall likely to have no shortage of chips against the Giants this week. Hall actually has the second highest 5-round-average across SC as far as forwards are concerned (number 1 is Dayne Zorko) and while he will be a popular pick this week, the risk involved now at 502k is significantly higher than what it was 3-4 weeks ago. Ben Cunnington will be of interest to some and a 5-round average of 120 is tempting for a bloke priced at 550k but he has never truly broken through the barrier of sub-premo across 22 rounds – if you’re looking for a true SP in the mids I don’t think he’s your man.

Josh Kelly will be well prepared for Sunday after spending his week off practicing in the Snowy Mountains and there’s a good chance he’ll be joined by Toby Greene, the bloke affectionately known as Punchable around these parts looking like he’ll fit right in with most people’s forward lines full of injury-prone burnmen. At 463k and a BE of 118 you can afford to wait a week and see how he goes, but there is a chance he goes nuclear against the Roos. Tim Taranto was on a mission to kick the ball as far away from his teammates as possible last time out but is the least of most Coaches’ concerns while most eyes will be on Lachie Whitfield at 503k who has returned to form after a slowish first few games. GWS medical staff are concerned about an incident where he brushed his left leg against his bed earlier this week, resulting in him running laps away from the main group.

View attachment 1150621
Alright Lachie, now don’t you let those dust particles get anywhere near you okay?


WEST COAST vs RICHMOND
Shoutouts to the AFL for 1) giving me more work this week, 2) ruining everyone’s bye structures and 3) killing whatever chance we had of actually getting a reasonable R14 mid rook. Nic Nat was a popular trade in last week for Brodie Grundy and didn’t fail at all against the Blues with his 4th score in a row over 120. There’s almost no cash gained from doing the same trade this week and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’ve got plenty to spare. Andrew Gaff tonned up but still isn’t really somewhere you should be looking while Shannon Hurn was hot early but did what old people tend to do and forgot there was a game on after half time. Luke Edwards looked good on debut but unfortunately he’s lost to us until R15 – one to watch however.

There’s an oddity when you sort the Richmond players on SC by average – the super stud that is Callum-Coleman Jones turns up at number 1. CCJ looked brilliant again and even with the AFL completely cooking next week for us, you’d be hard pressed to find any coach that lets him go. Shai Bolton continues to be freakishly consistent – his only game under the ton in the last 7 was a 99 and at 523k, there’s a decision to be made around him now given he’s no longer available next week. Dustin Martin tonned up but his scoring is borderline irrelevant at this point while Jayden Short’s magical disappearing act only seems to be getting better with time. Given the change to the Tiges bye, those with trades aplenty may look at moving him on... shortly :moustache:. RCD has completely cooked his cash gen and whatever his ownership is at the end of the round will directly correspond to how many people have stopped giving a fu** since he came in.


MELBOURNE vs COLLINGWOOD
Big Max is slowly returning to proper Maxxxy form and a delicious 138 was provided to many who blessed him with the VC. He’ll be a popular captain option again this week given his ruck competition will consist of Darcy Cameron and a second gamer. The Olliepig nudged over 700k despite crashing back to Earth after a quite-frankly-absurd month of footy but the slack was picked up by Christian Petracca, whose 130 raised more questions about how the fu** this CD algorithm actually works. Christian Salem has had a very poor fortnight and went another week allowing Steven May to swoop on all the chips, the defender finally getting over the ton for those who traded him in at 400k. James Jordon has bounced back wonderfully well since an average outing 2 weeks back and would have rookie of the year sown up if not for a certain late challenger on the other side of the fence….

View attachment 1150625
Introducing….

Caleb Poulter is that challenger. Outside of an intermittent inability to kick, the young wingman has been brilliant and may be worth keeping long term as F7/M9 cover if you don’t require his cash gen for other upgrades. He’s been ably supported by another young midfielder in Trent Bianco for the past fortnight, an 83 and 75 since debuting making him another rook in the vein of CCJ that is simply too good to ignore despite the bye. Nathan Murphy hasn’t really taken their lead and fell short of the lofty mark of 40 in a new role up forward, while Steele Sidebottom finally managed to break through the 100 barrier on his way to 117. His lowest score in his last 8 starts currently sits at 85, so you know what you’re getting. A similar sentiment should be held for Jack Crisp who seems to be making a mockery of his previously not-SC-friendly status with his fifth ton in a row and a 5-round average firmly in SP territory. At 536k, he’s one to consider given the changes in form and role of popular picks like Ridley and Short.



It is with a heavy heart that I must conclude this by saying that I will unfortunately have to hand the mantle of preview writer back to the Board for the time being – or rather directly to Here2tellyouwhy next week for some drunk boomer degen goodness. Work will not allow me the weekly consistency to commit to these for the moment but this is absolutely not the last essay you’ll see me write this year :moustache: Much appreciation to everyone who’s shown these posts love over the last 5-6 weeks – you kents are the reason I write them and why I want to keep writing them in future.



May the Chol be with you. And, once again, fu** the byes :moustache:
Superb.
 

stevebbb

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Bye (noun);
  • 1) If someone is given a bye, they are allowed to miss out part of a competition and continue to the next stage without having to win anything. (shoutouts Cambridge Dictionary)
Example; The Blues can’t embarrass themselves this week because they have the bye.
  • 2) Short form of “goodbye” – used to farewell someone or something
Example; Bye bye Highmore you massive ******* spud, can’t believe I waited 10 weeks for you to not even make 70k you useless campaigner.
  • 3) A diabolical sporting invention designed solely and purely to fu** with players of the fantasy football game “SuperCoach”. Often used in plural
Example; fu** THE BYES

Ever since they came into being in 2011, the byes have been a source of melts across the land. While they were initially drawn up as a weekly problem, the SC gods realised that there was a better way to screw with us and thus, the multi-bye rounds were born. There’s something about the MBR’s that throws all normal convention regarding SuperCoach out the window – that premo that’s only out for a week? Time to boot him sideways. New rookie debuting in a good side who will likely be out next week? Bring him in without a second thought. sh*t small forward playing for St. Kilda that is going to sit as deadwood on the bench for the rest of the year? Doesn’t matter, he gets you to the magic number this week.


Daddy said I could find puppies back here!!

For those of you who have been around this splendid place long enough to remember, many moons ago I once wrote about the different breeds of SuperCoacher that thrive towards the end of the season. Well, on this episode of Loose at HB’s Wildlife on BigFooty, we’ll be talking about the different subtypes of campaigner when it comes to navigating the virus that is the byes. And trust me, there’s no herd immunity here.

  • Vale consiliumus – also known as the Bye Planner, this Coach spends every waking second of preseason going through about 1500 different starting team structures in order to at least ensure the Byes take them out to dinner first. This is the kind of kent that won’t start with both Bont and Macrae because it “doesn’t suit my byes”. This Coach seems to largely be a dying breed – many seem to have accepted that the AFL and Campaigner Data will do anything to fu** with us and simply pick players who are KOTD and worry about the rest later. Alas, some do still persist.
View attachment 1150547
What the average Bye Planner’s January day looks like

  • Absens sollicitus – colloquially referred as the “bloke who shits himself around Round 10”, this Coach puts no thought into the byes in pre-season but starts mentioning his bye structure around Round 6 to convince himself that he actually did think about it. By Round 9-10 when reality sets in and he’s only got 10 players in Round 14, there’s usually around 5-6 successive posts in the Trades thread each week asking about how he can get himself out of the hole that he didn’t give a fu** about 3 months ago but has now suddenly realised might make or break his season. You know, because the byes are what’s wrong with their team. Not stupid sh*t like starting with Dom Tyson….

You can’t say they didn’t try…

  • Absens neclegius – the overwhelmingly dominant breed seen every winter. They don’t look at the byes in preseason. They don’t look at the byes in Round 10. They don’t even look at the byes when they’re happening. They’re often seen in packs, much like wolves and come out under the full moon to cry out from the top of the hills…

fu** THE BYES!!!!

If we’re honest, there’s probably a bit of all 3 breeds in all of us. Well, maybe not the Bye Planner, but the other two :moustache:. The byes are particularly rage inducing this year with the big fixture change of Richmond and West Coast to this week, leaving even the most ardent bye advocator at a loss to defend the dumpster fire that will befall most coaches next week. That’s next week’s problem though. Onto the games :moustache:


PORT ADELAIDE vs GEELONG
The first game of the round presents us with 2 teams coming off the bye and brings with it a lot of interest for those looking to upgrade. Travis Boak will likely be the most common target from the Power at 533k and an average a fraction under 110, however he has admittedly only hit the ton once in his last 4 starts. Ollie Wines will also attract some attention at 550k but in terms of mid premos, there’s probably better options out there. Lachie Jones put up 80 in his last outing and will be very useful on field throughout the byes while for those still holding onto Miles Bergman, the curse of the sub during his last appearance means even though he’s a reasonable chance of playing through the byes, he needs to go.

The Cats should have a gaggle of stud SP midfielders returning; Cam Guthrie and Mitch Duncan missed the Cats last outing with a shoulder injury and concussion respectively but both shape as likely inclusions for Thursday night. The question mark around both is their price and the looming return of one of the original KOTD Kings in Patrick Dangerfield, the man who has been a lock for the better part of the last decade set to plummet in price over the next fortnight and become a juicy final forward upgrade. He’s not guaranteed to return this week but given how much the Dangerman loves the stage and, more importantly, himself, I’d be pretty confident that he suits up tomorrow night.

View attachment 1150550
I assure you Danger has his priorities right

The only other 2 really SC relevant Cats are a pair of studs named Tom – Stewart has pretty well bottomed out at 522k while the Tomahawk seems to have played himself into some solid form and looks likely be a top 10 forward for the run home. At 513k, he's absolutely worth a look.


SYDNEY vs HAWTHORN
The Mighty Gull once again disgracefully managed to post another ton but in typical fashion went out of the game completely in the last quarter when the heat was on. Callum Mills delivered his 7th ton in a row and nobody would question his chances of making it eight against the Hawks “midfield”, while Tom Hickey continues to have the best managed PCL injury of all time and would loom as a solid option for those trading Manbundy if not for his diabolical bye. There’s also a couple of blonde surfer-looking campaigners that a few of us seem to own who were both pretty ******* shithouse; Isaac Heeney was only really let off by whatever the fu** Jack Higgins was doing down the other end while Chad Warner has unfortunately outstayed his welcome and has already been flagged as being rested this week.

Ned Reeves broke the record for the most traded in donut of all time last week and those among that group will be hoping Clarko doesn’t have a classically campaigner move in store. Tom Mitchell struggled with the tag last time out but should have no such worries this week, as Horse deciding to tag Titch would be an admission that he does rate him after all. Jarman Impey and CJ have struggled to gull as efficiently in recent weeks as Clarko has thrown the magnets around and although Impey is worth holding on to for now, CJ likely needs to go regardless of bye situation. Coaches won’t really mind too much though if one of those magnets has the name “Jai Newcombe” on it come Thursday night….

View attachment 1150555
He is the chosen one….


FREMANTLE vs GOLD COAST
Watching Freo last Sunday would turn off even the bravest man from trading in other Freo player – the poor bastards seem to be cursed. The Dockers lost 4 key players last week including captain and, unfortunately, SC burnman Nat Fyfe, who will likely need surgery on a dislocated shoulder and in the process will sadly be placed on the never again list for many coaches. In somewhat positive news, his absence should be good news for those with Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra as Justin Longmuir will be forced to play them both out of the centre square. Brayshaw looks like the more steady option as a long-term M8 and those with Cerra should still consider a trade next week. Luke Ryan went large with his third ton since returning and at 539k is quite well priced, yet unfortunately the curse that is R14 will turn many off. However, the best news for Freo and for 18.7% of SCers was the performance of SP Josh Treacy, the man taking a leaf out of the book of the famous Baby John Burgess to finally deliver a score worthy of acknowledgement when it was most needed.

View attachment 1150565
It’s happened again…

Writing about the Suns continues to be the easiest part of this gig – there’s SP Touk Miller and not a whole lot else. Touk Touk still only sits at 1.5% ownership and although he is far from cheap, 616k is a sight more approachable than what people will be looking at with regards to Parish and Bont next week. Jy Farrar has been as big a failure as Tom Highmore where cash gen is concerned and should be gone from all teams but I will save a positive mention for the likely return of ranga god Matty Rowell. I’ve never seen love quite like it for a kid that’s played 6 games – all the best to him on return :moustache:


ST. KILDA vs ADELAIDE
There are rookies that come in and average 60 and crawl to 250k. There are rookies that play 2 games and then never play again. There are rookies that, very rarely, get above 350k and are saluted with tears upon their eventual slaughtering. And then there are rookies who you keep for weeks on end because of their low BE ONLY FOR THEIR ABSOLUTE campaigner OF A COACH TO THROW THEM AROUND, MAKE THEM THE SUB AND THEN FORCE THEM TO PLAY A ROLE THEY’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE IN THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY COME ON. GET f’ed RATTS YOU USELESS TURD

Ahem. Now that that’s out of my system, I think it goes without saying that Tom Highmore needs to go even though St. Kilda have about 25 fit players which will force Ratts into giving him a starting gig… probably. Jack Steele was legitimately good last week so for once I can’t really cook him for being KOTD while I sincerely hope nobody still has Hunter Clark. Ryan Byrnes was okay and truth be told, has just shaded his contest with RCD in terms of cash generation.

There were some kents on here last week with far larger Chols than I who slapped the C on hybrid seagull-pig Rory Laird and he repaid them in fine fettle, a 144 by far his biggest score of the season. Nobody relevant still has Tex Walker but his week off appears to have rejuvenated him somewhat, 3 tons in a row keeping him firmly in the rear view mirror for some Coaches. Reilly O’Brien was looked at last week as an option for those trading out the Manbun and a second consecutive monster score will have those with him currently thinking that they're onto a winner. Finally, in reassuring news that not all in the world is utterly f’ed, Jimmy Rowe returned to being a potato and should be traded out if you’ve still got him.

NORTH MELBOURNE vs GWS
Gullapalooza 2021 returns from its week-long hiatus with Jack Ziegull and right-hand-man Aaron Hall likely to have no shortage of chips against the Giants this week. Hall actually has the second highest 5-round-average across SC as far as forwards are concerned (number 1 is Dayne Zorko) and while he will be a popular pick this week, the risk involved now at 502k is significantly higher than what it was 3-4 weeks ago. Ben Cunnington will be of interest to some and a 5-round average of 120 is tempting for a bloke priced at 550k but he has never truly broken through the barrier of sub-premo across 22 rounds – if you’re looking for a true SP in the mids I don’t think he’s your man.

Josh Kelly will be well prepared for Sunday after spending his week off practicing in the Snowy Mountains and there’s a good chance he’ll be joined by Toby Greene, the bloke affectionately known as Punchable around these parts looking like he’ll fit right in with most people’s forward lines full of injury-prone burnmen. At 463k and a BE of 118 you can afford to wait a week and see how he goes, but there is a chance he goes nuclear against the Roos. Tim Taranto was on a mission to kick the ball as far away from his teammates as possible last time out but is the least of most Coaches’ concerns while most eyes will be on Lachie Whitfield at 503k who has returned to form after a slowish first few games. GWS medical staff are concerned about an incident where he brushed his left leg against his bed earlier this week, resulting in him running laps away from the main group.

View attachment 1150621
Alright Lachie, now don’t you let those dust particles get anywhere near you okay?


WEST COAST vs RICHMOND
Shoutouts to the AFL for 1) giving me more work this week, 2) ruining everyone’s bye structures and 3) killing whatever chance we had of actually getting a reasonable R14 mid rook. Nic Nat was a popular trade in last week for Brodie Grundy and didn’t fail at all against the Blues with his 4th score in a row over 120. There’s almost no cash gained from doing the same trade this week and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’ve got plenty to spare. Andrew Gaff tonned up but still isn’t really somewhere you should be looking while Shannon Hurn was hot early but did what old people tend to do and forgot there was a game on after half time. Luke Edwards looked good on debut but unfortunately he’s lost to us until R15 – one to watch however.

There’s an oddity when you sort the Richmond players on SC by average – the super stud that is Callum-Coleman Jones turns up at number 1. CCJ looked brilliant again and even with the AFL completely cooking next week for us, you’d be hard pressed to find any coach that lets him go. Shai Bolton continues to be freakishly consistent – his only game under the ton in the last 7 was a 99 and at 523k, there’s a decision to be made around him now given he’s no longer available next week. Dustin Martin tonned up but his scoring is borderline irrelevant at this point while Jayden Short’s magical disappearing act only seems to be getting better with time. Given the change to the Tiges bye, those with trades aplenty may look at moving him on... shortly :moustache:. RCD has completely cooked his cash gen and whatever his ownership is at the end of the round will directly correspond to how many people have stopped giving a fu** since he came in.


MELBOURNE vs COLLINGWOOD
Big Max is slowly returning to proper Maxxxy form and a delicious 138 was provided to many who blessed him with the VC. He’ll be a popular captain option again this week given his ruck competition will consist of Darcy Cameron and a second gamer. The Olliepig nudged over 700k despite crashing back to Earth after a quite-frankly-absurd month of footy but the slack was picked up by Christian Petracca, whose 130 raised more questions about how the fu** this CD algorithm actually works. Christian Salem has had a very poor fortnight and went another week allowing Steven May to swoop on all the chips, the defender finally getting over the ton for those who traded him in at 400k. James Jordon has bounced back wonderfully well since an average outing 2 weeks back and would have rookie of the year sown up if not for a certain late challenger on the other side of the fence….

View attachment 1150625
Introducing….

Caleb Poulter is that challenger. Outside of an intermittent inability to kick, the young wingman has been brilliant and may be worth keeping long term as F7/M9 cover if you don’t require his cash gen for other upgrades. He’s been ably supported by another young midfielder in Trent Bianco for the past fortnight, an 83 and 75 since debuting making him another rook in the vein of CCJ that is simply too good to ignore despite the bye. Nathan Murphy hasn’t really taken their lead and fell short of the lofty mark of 40 in a new role up forward, while Steele Sidebottom finally managed to break through the 100 barrier on his way to 117. His lowest score in his last 8 starts currently sits at 85, so you know what you’re getting. A similar sentiment should be held for Jack Crisp who seems to be making a mockery of his previously not-SC-friendly status with his fifth ton in a row and a 5-round average firmly in SP territory. At 536k, he’s one to consider given the changes in form and role of popular picks like Ridley and Short.



It is with a heavy heart that I must conclude this by saying that I will unfortunately have to hand the mantle of preview writer back to the Board for the time being – or rather directly to Here2tellyouwhy next week for some drunk boomer degen goodness. Work will not allow me the weekly consistency to commit to these for the moment but this is absolutely not the last essay you’ll see me write this year :moustache: Much appreciation to everyone who’s shown these posts love over the last 5-6 weeks – you kents are the reason I write them and why I want to keep writing them in future.



May the Chol be with you. And, once again, fu** the byes :moustache:
The memes/gifs get better every week. Brilliant mate :hearteyes:
 

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Duckworthy

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Bye (noun);
  • 1) If someone is given a bye, they are allowed to miss out part of a competition and continue to the next stage without having to win anything. (shoutouts Cambridge Dictionary)
Example; The Blues can’t embarrass themselves this week because they have the bye.
  • 2) Short form of “goodbye” – used to farewell someone or something
Example; Bye bye Highmore you massive ******* spud, can’t believe I waited 10 weeks for you to not even make 70k you useless campaigner.
  • 3) A diabolical sporting invention designed solely and purely to fu** with players of the fantasy football game “SuperCoach”. Often used in plural
Example; fu** THE BYES

Ever since they came into being in 2011, the byes have been a source of melts across the land. While they were initially drawn up as a weekly problem, the SC gods realised that there was a better way to screw with us and thus, the multi-bye rounds were born. There’s something about the MBR’s that throws all normal convention regarding SuperCoach out the window – that premo that’s only out for a week? Time to boot him sideways. New rookie debuting in a good side who will likely be out next week? Bring him in without a second thought. sh*t small forward playing for St. Kilda that is going to sit as deadwood on the bench for the rest of the year? Doesn’t matter, he gets you to the magic number this week.


Daddy said I could find puppies back here!!

For those of you who have been around this splendid place long enough to remember, many moons ago I once wrote about the different breeds of SuperCoacher that thrive towards the end of the season. Well, on this episode of Loose at HB’s Wildlife on BigFooty, we’ll be talking about the different subtypes of campaigner when it comes to navigating the virus that is the byes. And trust me, there’s no herd immunity here.

  • Vale consiliumus – also known as the Bye Planner, this Coach spends every waking second of preseason going through about 1500 different starting team structures in order to at least ensure the Byes take them out to dinner first. This is the kind of kent that won’t start with both Bont and Macrae because it “doesn’t suit my byes”. This Coach seems to largely be a dying breed – many seem to have accepted that the AFL and Campaigner Data will do anything to fu** with us and simply pick players who are KOTD and worry about the rest later. Alas, some do still persist.
View attachment 1150547
What the average Bye Planner’s January day looks like

  • Absens sollicitus – colloquially referred as the “bloke who shits himself around Round 10”, this Coach puts no thought into the byes in pre-season but starts mentioning his bye structure around Round 6 to convince himself that he actually did think about it. By Round 9-10 when reality sets in and he’s only got 10 players in Round 14, there’s usually around 5-6 successive posts in the Trades thread each week asking about how he can get himself out of the hole that he didn’t give a fu** about 3 months ago but has now suddenly realised might make or break his season. You know, because the byes are what’s wrong with their team. Not stupid sh*t like starting with Dom Tyson….

You can’t say they didn’t try…

  • Absens neclegius – the overwhelmingly dominant breed seen every winter. They don’t look at the byes in preseason. They don’t look at the byes in Round 10. They don’t even look at the byes when they’re happening. They’re often seen in packs, much like wolves and come out under the full moon to cry out from the top of the hills…

fu** THE BYES!!!!

If we’re honest, there’s probably a bit of all 3 breeds in all of us. Well, maybe not the Bye Planner, but the other two :moustache:. The byes are particularly rage inducing this year with the big fixture change of Richmond and West Coast to this week, leaving even the most ardent bye advocator at a loss to defend the dumpster fire that will befall most coaches next week. That’s next week’s problem though. Onto the games :moustache:


PORT ADELAIDE vs GEELONG
The first game of the round presents us with 2 teams coming off the bye and brings with it a lot of interest for those looking to upgrade. Travis Boak will likely be the most common target from the Power at 533k and an average a fraction under 110, however he has admittedly only hit the ton once in his last 4 starts. Ollie Wines will also attract some attention at 550k but in terms of mid premos, there’s probably better options out there. Lachie Jones put up 80 in his last outing and will be very useful on field throughout the byes while for those still holding onto Miles Bergman, the curse of the sub during his last appearance means even though he’s a reasonable chance of playing through the byes, he needs to go.

The Cats should have a gaggle of stud SP midfielders returning; Cam Guthrie and Mitch Duncan missed the Cats last outing with a shoulder injury and concussion respectively but both shape as likely inclusions for Thursday night. The question mark around both is their price and the looming return of one of the original KOTD Kings in Patrick Dangerfield, the man who has been a lock for the better part of the last decade set to plummet in price over the next fortnight and become a juicy final forward upgrade. He’s not guaranteed to return this week but given how much the Dangerman loves the stage and, more importantly, himself, I’d be pretty confident that he suits up tomorrow night.

View attachment 1150550
I assure you Danger has his priorities right

The only other 2 really SC relevant Cats are a pair of studs named Tom – Stewart has pretty well bottomed out at 522k while the Tomahawk seems to have played himself into some solid form and looks likely be a top 10 forward for the run home. At 513k, he's absolutely worth a look.


SYDNEY vs HAWTHORN
The Mighty Gull once again disgracefully managed to post another ton but in typical fashion went out of the game completely in the last quarter when the heat was on. Callum Mills delivered his 7th ton in a row and nobody would question his chances of making it eight against the Hawks “midfield”, while Tom Hickey continues to have the best managed PCL injury of all time and would loom as a solid option for those trading Manbundy if not for his diabolical bye. There’s also a couple of blonde surfer-looking campaigners that a few of us seem to own who were both pretty ******* shithouse; Isaac Heeney was only really let off by whatever the fu** Jack Higgins was doing down the other end while Chad Warner has unfortunately outstayed his welcome and has already been flagged as being rested this week.

Ned Reeves broke the record for the most traded in donut of all time last week and those among that group will be hoping Clarko doesn’t have a classically campaigner move in store. Tom Mitchell struggled with the tag last time out but should have no such worries this week, as Horse deciding to tag Titch would be an admission that he does rate him after all. Jarman Impey and CJ have struggled to gull as efficiently in recent weeks as Clarko has thrown the magnets around and although Impey is worth holding on to for now, CJ likely needs to go regardless of bye situation. Coaches won’t really mind too much though if one of those magnets has the name “Jai Newcombe” on it come Thursday night….

View attachment 1150555
He is the chosen one….


FREMANTLE vs GOLD COAST
Watching Freo last Sunday would turn off even the bravest man from trading in other Freo player – the poor bastards seem to be cursed. The Dockers lost 4 key players last week including captain and, unfortunately, SC burnman Nat Fyfe, who will likely need surgery on a dislocated shoulder and in the process will sadly be placed on the never again list for many coaches. In somewhat positive news, his absence should be good news for those with Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra as Justin Longmuir will be forced to play them both out of the centre square. Brayshaw looks like the more steady option as a long-term M8 and those with Cerra should still consider a trade next week. Luke Ryan went large with his third ton since returning and at 539k is quite well priced, yet unfortunately the curse that is R14 will turn many off. However, the best news for Freo and for 18.7% of SCers was the performance of SP Josh Treacy, the man taking a leaf out of the book of the famous Baby John Burgess to finally deliver a score worthy of acknowledgement when it was most needed.

View attachment 1150565
It’s happened again…

Writing about the Suns continues to be the easiest part of this gig – there’s SP Touk Miller and not a whole lot else. Touk Touk still only sits at 1.5% ownership and although he is far from cheap, 616k is a sight more approachable than what people will be looking at with regards to Parish and Bont next week. Jy Farrar has been as big a failure as Tom Highmore where cash gen is concerned and should be gone from all teams but I will save a positive mention for the likely return of ranga god Matty Rowell. I’ve never seen love quite like it for a kid that’s played 6 games – all the best to him on return :moustache:


ST. KILDA vs ADELAIDE
There are rookies that come in and average 60 and crawl to 250k. There are rookies that play 2 games and then never play again. There are rookies that, very rarely, get above 350k and are saluted with tears upon their eventual slaughtering. And then there are rookies who you keep for weeks on end because of their low BE ONLY FOR THEIR ABSOLUTE campaigner OF A COACH TO THROW THEM AROUND, MAKE THEM THE SUB AND THEN FORCE THEM TO PLAY A ROLE THEY’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE IN THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY COME ON. GET f’ed RATTS YOU USELESS TURD

Ahem. Now that that’s out of my system, I think it goes without saying that Tom Highmore needs to go even though St. Kilda have about 25 fit players which will force Ratts into giving him a starting gig… probably. Jack Steele was legitimately good last week so for once I can’t really cook him for being KOTD while I sincerely hope nobody still has Hunter Clark. Ryan Byrnes was okay and truth be told, has just shaded his contest with RCD in terms of cash generation.

There were some kents on here last week with far larger Chols than I who slapped the C on hybrid seagull-pig Rory Laird and he repaid them in fine fettle, a 144 by far his biggest score of the season. Nobody relevant still has Tex Walker but his week off appears to have rejuvenated him somewhat, 3 tons in a row keeping him firmly in the rear view mirror for some Coaches. Reilly O’Brien was looked at last week as an option for those trading out the Manbun and a second consecutive monster score will have those with him currently thinking that they're onto a winner. Finally, in reassuring news that not all in the world is utterly f’ed, Jimmy Rowe returned to being a potato and should be traded out if you’ve still got him.

NORTH MELBOURNE vs GWS
Gullapalooza 2021 returns from its week-long hiatus with Jack Ziegull and right-hand-man Aaron Hall likely to have no shortage of chips against the Giants this week. Hall actually has the second highest 5-round-average across SC as far as forwards are concerned (number 1 is Dayne Zorko) and while he will be a popular pick this week, the risk involved now at 502k is significantly higher than what it was 3-4 weeks ago. Ben Cunnington will be of interest to some and a 5-round average of 120 is tempting for a bloke priced at 550k but he has never truly broken through the barrier of sub-premo across 22 rounds – if you’re looking for a true SP in the mids I don’t think he’s your man.

Josh Kelly will be well prepared for Sunday after spending his week off practicing in the Snowy Mountains and there’s a good chance he’ll be joined by Toby Greene, the bloke affectionately known as Punchable around these parts looking like he’ll fit right in with most people’s forward lines full of injury-prone burnmen. At 463k and a BE of 118 you can afford to wait a week and see how he goes, but there is a chance he goes nuclear against the Roos. Tim Taranto was on a mission to kick the ball as far away from his teammates as possible last time out but is the least of most Coaches’ concerns while most eyes will be on Lachie Whitfield at 503k who has returned to form after a slowish first few games. GWS medical staff are concerned about an incident where he brushed his left leg against his bed earlier this week, resulting in him running laps away from the main group.

View attachment 1150621
Alright Lachie, now don’t you let those dust particles get anywhere near you okay?


WEST COAST vs RICHMOND
Shoutouts to the AFL for 1) giving me more work this week, 2) ruining everyone’s bye structures and 3) killing whatever chance we had of actually getting a reasonable R14 mid rook. Nic Nat was a popular trade in last week for Brodie Grundy and didn’t fail at all against the Blues with his 4th score in a row over 120. There’s almost no cash gained from doing the same trade this week and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’ve got plenty to spare. Andrew Gaff tonned up but still isn’t really somewhere you should be looking while Shannon Hurn was hot early but did what old people tend to do and forgot there was a game on after half time. Luke Edwards looked good on debut but unfortunately he’s lost to us until R15 – one to watch however.

There’s an oddity when you sort the Richmond players on SC by average – the super stud that is Callum-Coleman Jones turns up at number 1. CCJ looked brilliant again and even with the AFL completely cooking next week for us, you’d be hard pressed to find any coach that lets him go. Shai Bolton continues to be freakishly consistent – his only game under the ton in the last 7 was a 99 and at 523k, there’s a decision to be made around him now given he’s no longer available next week. Dustin Martin tonned up but his scoring is borderline irrelevant at this point while Jayden Short’s magical disappearing act only seems to be getting better with time. Given the change to the Tiges bye, those with trades aplenty may look at moving him on... shortly :moustache:. RCD has completely cooked his cash gen and whatever his ownership is at the end of the round will directly correspond to how many people have stopped giving a fu** since he came in.


MELBOURNE vs COLLINGWOOD
Big Max is slowly returning to proper Maxxxy form and a delicious 138 was provided to many who blessed him with the VC. He’ll be a popular captain option again this week given his ruck competition will consist of Darcy Cameron and a second gamer. The Olliepig nudged over 700k despite crashing back to Earth after a quite-frankly-absurd month of footy but the slack was picked up by Christian Petracca, whose 130 raised more questions about how the fu** this CD algorithm actually works. Christian Salem has had a very poor fortnight and went another week allowing Steven May to swoop on all the chips, the defender finally getting over the ton for those who traded him in at 400k. James Jordon has bounced back wonderfully well since an average outing 2 weeks back and would have rookie of the year sown up if not for a certain late challenger on the other side of the fence….

View attachment 1150625
Introducing….

Caleb Poulter is that challenger. Outside of an intermittent inability to kick, the young wingman has been brilliant and may be worth keeping long term as F7/M9 cover if you don’t require his cash gen for other upgrades. He’s been ably supported by another young midfielder in Trent Bianco for the past fortnight, an 83 and 75 since debuting making him another rook in the vein of CCJ that is simply too good to ignore despite the bye. Nathan Murphy hasn’t really taken their lead and fell short of the lofty mark of 40 in a new role up forward, while Steele Sidebottom finally managed to break through the 100 barrier on his way to 117. His lowest score in his last 8 starts currently sits at 85, so you know what you’re getting. A similar sentiment should be held for Jack Crisp who seems to be making a mockery of his previously not-SC-friendly status with his fifth ton in a row and a 5-round average firmly in SP territory. At 536k, he’s one to consider given the changes in form and role of popular picks like Ridley and Short.



It is with a heavy heart that I must conclude this by saying that I will unfortunately have to hand the mantle of preview writer back to the Board for the time being – or rather directly to Here2tellyouwhy next week for some drunk boomer degen goodness. Work will not allow me the weekly consistency to commit to these for the moment but this is absolutely not the last essay you’ll see me write this year :moustache: Much appreciation to everyone who’s shown these posts love over the last 5-6 weeks – you kents are the reason I write them and why I want to keep writing them in future.



May the Chol be with you. And, once again, fu** the byes :moustache:
 

gutsroy

Brownlow Medallist
May 12, 2013
18,322
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Bye (noun);
  • 1) If someone is given a bye, they are allowed to miss out part of a competition and continue to the next stage without having to win anything. (shoutouts Cambridge Dictionary)
Example; The Blues can’t embarrass themselves this week because they have the bye.
  • 2) Short form of “goodbye” – used to farewell someone or something
Example; Bye bye Highmore you massive ******* spud, can’t believe I waited 10 weeks for you to not even make 70k you useless campaigner.
  • 3) A diabolical sporting invention designed solely and purely to fu** with players of the fantasy football game “SuperCoach”. Often used in plural
Example; fu** THE BYES

Ever since they came into being in 2011, the byes have been a source of melts across the land. While they were initially drawn up as a weekly problem, the SC gods realised that there was a better way to screw with us and thus, the multi-bye rounds were born. There’s something about the MBR’s that throws all normal convention regarding SuperCoach out the window – that premo that’s only out for a week? Time to boot him sideways. New rookie debuting in a good side who will likely be out next week? Bring him in without a second thought. sh*t small forward playing for St. Kilda that is going to sit as deadwood on the bench for the rest of the year? Doesn’t matter, he gets you to the magic number this week.


Daddy said I could find puppies back here!!

For those of you who have been around this splendid place long enough to remember, many moons ago I once wrote about the different breeds of SuperCoacher that thrive towards the end of the season. Well, on this episode of Loose at HB’s Wildlife on BigFooty, we’ll be talking about the different subtypes of campaigner when it comes to navigating the virus that is the byes. And trust me, there’s no herd immunity here.

  • Vale consiliumus – also known as the Bye Planner, this Coach spends every waking second of preseason going through about 1500 different starting team structures in order to at least ensure the Byes take them out to dinner first. This is the kind of kent that won’t start with both Bont and Macrae because it “doesn’t suit my byes”. This Coach seems to largely be a dying breed – many seem to have accepted that the AFL and Campaigner Data will do anything to fu** with us and simply pick players who are KOTD and worry about the rest later. Alas, some do still persist.
View attachment 1150547
What the average Bye Planner’s January day looks like

  • Absens sollicitus – colloquially referred as the “bloke who shits himself around Round 10”, this Coach puts no thought into the byes in pre-season but starts mentioning his bye structure around Round 6 to convince himself that he actually did think about it. By Round 9-10 when reality sets in and he’s only got 10 players in Round 14, there’s usually around 5-6 successive posts in the Trades thread each week asking about how he can get himself out of the hole that he didn’t give a fu** about 3 months ago but has now suddenly realised might make or break his season. You know, because the byes are what’s wrong with their team. Not stupid sh*t like starting with Dom Tyson….

You can’t say they didn’t try…

  • Absens neclegius – the overwhelmingly dominant breed seen every winter. They don’t look at the byes in preseason. They don’t look at the byes in Round 10. They don’t even look at the byes when they’re happening. They’re often seen in packs, much like wolves and come out under the full moon to cry out from the top of the hills…

fu** THE BYES!!!!

If we’re honest, there’s probably a bit of all 3 breeds in all of us. Well, maybe not the Bye Planner, but the other two :moustache:. The byes are particularly rage inducing this year with the big fixture change of Richmond and West Coast to this week, leaving even the most ardent bye advocator at a loss to defend the dumpster fire that will befall most coaches next week. That’s next week’s problem though. Onto the games :moustache:


PORT ADELAIDE vs GEELONG
The first game of the round presents us with 2 teams coming off the bye and brings with it a lot of interest for those looking to upgrade. Travis Boak will likely be the most common target from the Power at 533k and an average a fraction under 110, however he has admittedly only hit the ton once in his last 4 starts. Ollie Wines will also attract some attention at 550k but in terms of mid premos, there’s probably better options out there. Lachie Jones put up 80 in his last outing and will be very useful on field throughout the byes while for those still holding onto Miles Bergman, the curse of the sub during his last appearance means even though he’s a reasonable chance of playing through the byes, he needs to go.

The Cats should have a gaggle of stud SP midfielders returning; Cam Guthrie and Mitch Duncan missed the Cats last outing with a shoulder injury and concussion respectively but both shape as likely inclusions for Thursday night. The question mark around both is their price and the looming return of one of the original KOTD Kings in Patrick Dangerfield, the man who has been a lock for the better part of the last decade set to plummet in price over the next fortnight and become a juicy final forward upgrade. He’s not guaranteed to return this week but given how much the Dangerman loves the stage and, more importantly, himself, I’d be pretty confident that he suits up tomorrow night.

View attachment 1150550
I assure you Danger has his priorities right

The only other 2 really SC relevant Cats are a pair of studs named Tom – Stewart has pretty well bottomed out at 522k while the Tomahawk seems to have played himself into some solid form and looks likely be a top 10 forward for the run home. At 513k, he's absolutely worth a look.


SYDNEY vs HAWTHORN
The Mighty Gull once again disgracefully managed to post another ton but in typical fashion went out of the game completely in the last quarter when the heat was on. Callum Mills delivered his 7th ton in a row and nobody would question his chances of making it eight against the Hawks “midfield”, while Tom Hickey continues to have the best managed PCL injury of all time and would loom as a solid option for those trading Manbundy if not for his diabolical bye. There’s also a couple of blonde surfer-looking campaigners that a few of us seem to own who were both pretty ******* shithouse; Isaac Heeney was only really let off by whatever the fu** Jack Higgins was doing down the other end while Chad Warner has unfortunately outstayed his welcome and has already been flagged as being rested this week.

Ned Reeves broke the record for the most traded in donut of all time last week and those among that group will be hoping Clarko doesn’t have a classically campaigner move in store. Tom Mitchell struggled with the tag last time out but should have no such worries this week, as Horse deciding to tag Titch would be an admission that he does rate him after all. Jarman Impey and CJ have struggled to gull as efficiently in recent weeks as Clarko has thrown the magnets around and although Impey is worth holding on to for now, CJ likely needs to go regardless of bye situation. Coaches won’t really mind too much though if one of those magnets has the name “Jai Newcombe” on it come Thursday night….

View attachment 1150555
He is the chosen one….


FREMANTLE vs GOLD COAST
Watching Freo last Sunday would turn off even the bravest man from trading in other Freo player – the poor bastards seem to be cursed. The Dockers lost 4 key players last week including captain and, unfortunately, SC burnman Nat Fyfe, who will likely need surgery on a dislocated shoulder and in the process will sadly be placed on the never again list for many coaches. In somewhat positive news, his absence should be good news for those with Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra as Justin Longmuir will be forced to play them both out of the centre square. Brayshaw looks like the more steady option as a long-term M8 and those with Cerra should still consider a trade next week. Luke Ryan went large with his third ton since returning and at 539k is quite well priced, yet unfortunately the curse that is R14 will turn many off. However, the best news for Freo and for 18.7% of SCers was the performance of SP Josh Treacy, the man taking a leaf out of the book of the famous Baby John Burgess to finally deliver a score worthy of acknowledgement when it was most needed.

View attachment 1150565
It’s happened again…

Writing about the Suns continues to be the easiest part of this gig – there’s SP Touk Miller and not a whole lot else. Touk Touk still only sits at 1.5% ownership and although he is far from cheap, 616k is a sight more approachable than what people will be looking at with regards to Parish and Bont next week. Jy Farrar has been as big a failure as Tom Highmore where cash gen is concerned and should be gone from all teams but I will save a positive mention for the likely return of ranga god Matty Rowell. I’ve never seen love quite like it for a kid that’s played 6 games – all the best to him on return :moustache:


ST. KILDA vs ADELAIDE
There are rookies that come in and average 60 and crawl to 250k. There are rookies that play 2 games and then never play again. There are rookies that, very rarely, get above 350k and are saluted with tears upon their eventual slaughtering. And then there are rookies who you keep for weeks on end because of their low BE ONLY FOR THEIR ABSOLUTE campaigner OF A COACH TO THROW THEM AROUND, MAKE THEM THE SUB AND THEN FORCE THEM TO PLAY A ROLE THEY’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE IN THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY COME ON. GET f’ed RATTS YOU USELESS TURD

Ahem. Now that that’s out of my system, I think it goes without saying that Tom Highmore needs to go even though St. Kilda have about 25 fit players which will force Ratts into giving him a starting gig… probably. Jack Steele was legitimately good last week so for once I can’t really cook him for being KOTD while I sincerely hope nobody still has Hunter Clark. Ryan Byrnes was okay and truth be told, has just shaded his contest with RCD in terms of cash generation.

There were some kents on here last week with far larger Chols than I who slapped the C on hybrid seagull-pig Rory Laird and he repaid them in fine fettle, a 144 by far his biggest score of the season. Nobody relevant still has Tex Walker but his week off appears to have rejuvenated him somewhat, 3 tons in a row keeping him firmly in the rear view mirror for some Coaches. Reilly O’Brien was looked at last week as an option for those trading out the Manbun and a second consecutive monster score will have those with him currently thinking that they're onto a winner. Finally, in reassuring news that not all in the world is utterly f’ed, Jimmy Rowe returned to being a potato and should be traded out if you’ve still got him.

NORTH MELBOURNE vs GWS
Gullapalooza 2021 returns from its week-long hiatus with Jack Ziegull and right-hand-man Aaron Hall likely to have no shortage of chips against the Giants this week. Hall actually has the second highest 5-round-average across SC as far as forwards are concerned (number 1 is Dayne Zorko) and while he will be a popular pick this week, the risk involved now at 502k is significantly higher than what it was 3-4 weeks ago. Ben Cunnington will be of interest to some and a 5-round average of 120 is tempting for a bloke priced at 550k but he has never truly broken through the barrier of sub-premo across 22 rounds – if you’re looking for a true SP in the mids I don’t think he’s your man.

Josh Kelly will be well prepared for Sunday after spending his week off practicing in the Snowy Mountains and there’s a good chance he’ll be joined by Toby Greene, the bloke affectionately known as Punchable around these parts looking like he’ll fit right in with most people’s forward lines full of injury-prone burnmen. At 463k and a BE of 118 you can afford to wait a week and see how he goes, but there is a chance he goes nuclear against the Roos. Tim Taranto was on a mission to kick the ball as far away from his teammates as possible last time out but is the least of most Coaches’ concerns while most eyes will be on Lachie Whitfield at 503k who has returned to form after a slowish first few games. GWS medical staff are concerned about an incident where he brushed his left leg against his bed earlier this week, resulting in him running laps away from the main group.

View attachment 1150621
Alright Lachie, now don’t you let those dust particles get anywhere near you okay?


WEST COAST vs RICHMOND
Shoutouts to the AFL for 1) giving me more work this week, 2) ruining everyone’s bye structures and 3) killing whatever chance we had of actually getting a reasonable R14 mid rook. Nic Nat was a popular trade in last week for Brodie Grundy and didn’t fail at all against the Blues with his 4th score in a row over 120. There’s almost no cash gained from doing the same trade this week and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’ve got plenty to spare. Andrew Gaff tonned up but still isn’t really somewhere you should be looking while Shannon Hurn was hot early but did what old people tend to do and forgot there was a game on after half time. Luke Edwards looked good on debut but unfortunately he’s lost to us until R15 – one to watch however.

There’s an oddity when you sort the Richmond players on SC by average – the super stud that is Callum-Coleman Jones turns up at number 1. CCJ looked brilliant again and even with the AFL completely cooking next week for us, you’d be hard pressed to find any coach that lets him go. Shai Bolton continues to be freakishly consistent – his only game under the ton in the last 7 was a 99 and at 523k, there’s a decision to be made around him now given he’s no longer available next week. Dustin Martin tonned up but his scoring is borderline irrelevant at this point while Jayden Short’s magical disappearing act only seems to be getting better with time. Given the change to the Tiges bye, those with trades aplenty may look at moving him on... shortly :moustache:. RCD has completely cooked his cash gen and whatever his ownership is at the end of the round will directly correspond to how many people have stopped giving a fu** since he came in.


MELBOURNE vs COLLINGWOOD
Big Max is slowly returning to proper Maxxxy form and a delicious 138 was provided to many who blessed him with the VC. He’ll be a popular captain option again this week given his ruck competition will consist of Darcy Cameron and a second gamer. The Olliepig nudged over 700k despite crashing back to Earth after a quite-frankly-absurd month of footy but the slack was picked up by Christian Petracca, whose 130 raised more questions about how the fu** this CD algorithm actually works. Christian Salem has had a very poor fortnight and went another week allowing Steven May to swoop on all the chips, the defender finally getting over the ton for those who traded him in at 400k. James Jordon has bounced back wonderfully well since an average outing 2 weeks back and would have rookie of the year sown up if not for a certain late challenger on the other side of the fence….

View attachment 1150625
Introducing….

Caleb Poulter is that challenger. Outside of an intermittent inability to kick, the young wingman has been brilliant and may be worth keeping long term as F7/M9 cover if you don’t require his cash gen for other upgrades. He’s been ably supported by another young midfielder in Trent Bianco for the past fortnight, an 83 and 75 since debuting making him another rook in the vein of CCJ that is simply too good to ignore despite the bye. Nathan Murphy hasn’t really taken their lead and fell short of the lofty mark of 40 in a new role up forward, while Steele Sidebottom finally managed to break through the 100 barrier on his way to 117. His lowest score in his last 8 starts currently sits at 85, so you know what you’re getting. A similar sentiment should be held for Jack Crisp who seems to be making a mockery of his previously not-SC-friendly status with his fifth ton in a row and a 5-round average firmly in SP territory. At 536k, he’s one to consider given the changes in form and role of popular picks like Ridley and Short.



It is with a heavy heart that I must conclude this by saying that I will unfortunately have to hand the mantle of preview writer back to the Board for the time being – or rather directly to Here2tellyouwhy next week for some drunk boomer degen goodness. Work will not allow me the weekly consistency to commit to these for the moment but this is absolutely not the last essay you’ll see me write this year :moustache: Much appreciation to everyone who’s shown these posts love over the last 5-6 weeks – you kents are the reason I write them and why I want to keep writing them in future.



May the Chol be with you. And, once again, fu** the byes :moustache:
You've found your calling 😍
Love the combo of incisive commentary on the players and options, the wit and the next-level gif action, the way you interweave them is top shelf.
You deserve some sort of recognition.
06e58371bba9ea785e841a482aa247344b40eb43.gif


And welcome Here2tellyouwhy.
Re24bfda2eeed013fd1f8cc1e312d7757.gif
 

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Andrew Birch

Fantasy Football Enthusiast
Dec 3, 2017
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🇦🇺
You've found your calling 😍
Love the combo of incisive commentary on the players and options, the wit and the next-level gif action, the way you interweave them is top shelf.
You deserve some sort of recognition.
Something like the SC Writer badges that I made and got chief to issue to the both of you 2 years ago? ;)

AA.JPG
 

Test Tickle

get stuffed
May 11, 2007
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Deni Rams & Golden Sq
Bye (noun);
  • 1) If someone is given a bye, they are allowed to miss out part of a competition and continue to the next stage without having to win anything. (shoutouts Cambridge Dictionary)
Example; The Blues can’t embarrass themselves this week because they have the bye.
  • 2) Short form of “goodbye” – used to farewell someone or something
Example; Bye bye Highmore you massive ******* spud, can’t believe I waited 10 weeks for you to not even make 70k you useless campaigner.
  • 3) A diabolical sporting invention designed solely and purely to fu** with players of the fantasy football game “SuperCoach”. Often used in plural
Example; fu** THE BYES

Ever since they came into being in 2011, the byes have been a source of melts across the land. While they were initially drawn up as a weekly problem, the SC gods realised that there was a better way to screw with us and thus, the multi-bye rounds were born. There’s something about the MBR’s that throws all normal convention regarding SuperCoach out the window – that premo that’s only out for a week? Time to boot him sideways. New rookie debuting in a good side who will likely be out next week? Bring him in without a second thought. sh*t small forward playing for St. Kilda that is going to sit as deadwood on the bench for the rest of the year? Doesn’t matter, he gets you to the magic number this week.


Daddy said I could find puppies back here!!

For those of you who have been around this splendid place long enough to remember, many moons ago I once wrote about the different breeds of SuperCoacher that thrive towards the end of the season. Well, on this episode of Loose at HB’s Wildlife on BigFooty, we’ll be talking about the different subtypes of campaigner when it comes to navigating the virus that is the byes. And trust me, there’s no herd immunity here.

  • Vale consiliumus – also known as the Bye Planner, this Coach spends every waking second of preseason going through about 1500 different starting team structures in order to at least ensure the Byes take them out to dinner first. This is the kind of kent that won’t start with both Bont and Macrae because it “doesn’t suit my byes”. This Coach seems to largely be a dying breed – many seem to have accepted that the AFL and Campaigner Data will do anything to fu** with us and simply pick players who are KOTD and worry about the rest later. Alas, some do still persist.
View attachment 1150547
What the average Bye Planner’s January day looks like

  • Absens sollicitus – colloquially referred as the “bloke who shits himself around Round 10”, this Coach puts no thought into the byes in pre-season but starts mentioning his bye structure around Round 6 to convince himself that he actually did think about it. By Round 9-10 when reality sets in and he’s only got 10 players in Round 14, there’s usually around 5-6 successive posts in the Trades thread each week asking about how he can get himself out of the hole that he didn’t give a fu** about 3 months ago but has now suddenly realised might make or break his season. You know, because the byes are what’s wrong with their team. Not stupid sh*t like starting with Dom Tyson….

You can’t say they didn’t try…

  • Absens neclegius – the overwhelmingly dominant breed seen every winter. They don’t look at the byes in preseason. They don’t look at the byes in Round 10. They don’t even look at the byes when they’re happening. They’re often seen in packs, much like wolves and come out under the full moon to cry out from the top of the hills…

fu** THE BYES!!!!

If we’re honest, there’s probably a bit of all 3 breeds in all of us. Well, maybe not the Bye Planner, but the other two :moustache:. The byes are particularly rage inducing this year with the big fixture change of Richmond and West Coast to this week, leaving even the most ardent bye advocator at a loss to defend the dumpster fire that will befall most coaches next week. That’s next week’s problem though. Onto the games :moustache:


PORT ADELAIDE vs GEELONG
The first game of the round presents us with 2 teams coming off the bye and brings with it a lot of interest for those looking to upgrade. Travis Boak will likely be the most common target from the Power at 533k and an average a fraction under 110, however he has admittedly only hit the ton once in his last 4 starts. Ollie Wines will also attract some attention at 550k but in terms of mid premos, there’s probably better options out there. Lachie Jones put up 80 in his last outing and will be very useful on field throughout the byes while for those still holding onto Miles Bergman, the curse of the sub during his last appearance means even though he’s a reasonable chance of playing through the byes, he needs to go.

The Cats should have a gaggle of stud SP midfielders returning; Cam Guthrie and Mitch Duncan missed the Cats last outing with a shoulder injury and concussion respectively but both shape as likely inclusions for Thursday night. The question mark around both is their price and the looming return of one of the original KOTD Kings in Patrick Dangerfield, the man who has been a lock for the better part of the last decade set to plummet in price over the next fortnight and become a juicy final forward upgrade. He’s not guaranteed to return this week but given how much the Dangerman loves the stage and, more importantly, himself, I’d be pretty confident that he suits up tomorrow night.

View attachment 1150550
I assure you Danger has his priorities right

The only other 2 really SC relevant Cats are a pair of studs named Tom – Stewart has pretty well bottomed out at 522k while the Tomahawk seems to have played himself into some solid form and looks likely be a top 10 forward for the run home. At 513k, he's absolutely worth a look.


SYDNEY vs HAWTHORN
The Mighty Gull once again disgracefully managed to post another ton but in typical fashion went out of the game completely in the last quarter when the heat was on. Callum Mills delivered his 7th ton in a row and nobody would question his chances of making it eight against the Hawks “midfield”, while Tom Hickey continues to have the best managed PCL injury of all time and would loom as a solid option for those trading Manbundy if not for his diabolical bye. There’s also a couple of blonde surfer-looking campaigners that a few of us seem to own who were both pretty ******* shithouse; Isaac Heeney was only really let off by whatever the fu** Jack Higgins was doing down the other end while Chad Warner has unfortunately outstayed his welcome and has already been flagged as being rested this week.

Ned Reeves broke the record for the most traded in donut of all time last week and those among that group will be hoping Clarko doesn’t have a classically campaigner move in store. Tom Mitchell struggled with the tag last time out but should have no such worries this week, as Horse deciding to tag Titch would be an admission that he does rate him after all. Jarman Impey and CJ have struggled to gull as efficiently in recent weeks as Clarko has thrown the magnets around and although Impey is worth holding on to for now, CJ likely needs to go regardless of bye situation. Coaches won’t really mind too much though if one of those magnets has the name “Jai Newcombe” on it come Thursday night….

View attachment 1150555
He is the chosen one….


FREMANTLE vs GOLD COAST
Watching Freo last Sunday would turn off even the bravest man from trading in other Freo player – the poor bastards seem to be cursed. The Dockers lost 4 key players last week including captain and, unfortunately, SC burnman Nat Fyfe, who will likely need surgery on a dislocated shoulder and in the process will sadly be placed on the never again list for many coaches. In somewhat positive news, his absence should be good news for those with Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra as Justin Longmuir will be forced to play them both out of the centre square. Brayshaw looks like the more steady option as a long-term M8 and those with Cerra should still consider a trade next week. Luke Ryan went large with his third ton since returning and at 539k is quite well priced, yet unfortunately the curse that is R14 will turn many off. However, the best news for Freo and for 18.7% of SCers was the performance of SP Josh Treacy, the man taking a leaf out of the book of the famous Baby John Burgess to finally deliver a score worthy of acknowledgement when it was most needed.

View attachment 1150565
It’s happened again…

Writing about the Suns continues to be the easiest part of this gig – there’s SP Touk Miller and not a whole lot else. Touk Touk still only sits at 1.5% ownership and although he is far from cheap, 616k is a sight more approachable than what people will be looking at with regards to Parish and Bont next week. Jy Farrar has been as big a failure as Tom Highmore where cash gen is concerned and should be gone from all teams but I will save a positive mention for the likely return of ranga god Matty Rowell. I’ve never seen love quite like it for a kid that’s played 6 games – all the best to him on return :moustache:


ST. KILDA vs ADELAIDE
There are rookies that come in and average 60 and crawl to 250k. There are rookies that play 2 games and then never play again. There are rookies that, very rarely, get above 350k and are saluted with tears upon their eventual slaughtering. And then there are rookies who you keep for weeks on end because of their low BE ONLY FOR THEIR ABSOLUTE campaigner OF A COACH TO THROW THEM AROUND, MAKE THEM THE SUB AND THEN FORCE THEM TO PLAY A ROLE THEY’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE IN THEIR LIFE WHEN THEY COME ON. GET f’ed RATTS YOU USELESS TURD

Ahem. Now that that’s out of my system, I think it goes without saying that Tom Highmore needs to go even though St. Kilda have about 25 fit players which will force Ratts into giving him a starting gig… probably. Jack Steele was legitimately good last week so for once I can’t really cook him for being KOTD while I sincerely hope nobody still has Hunter Clark. Ryan Byrnes was okay and truth be told, has just shaded his contest with RCD in terms of cash generation.

There were some kents on here last week with far larger Chols than I who slapped the C on hybrid seagull-pig Rory Laird and he repaid them in fine fettle, a 144 by far his biggest score of the season. Nobody relevant still has Tex Walker but his week off appears to have rejuvenated him somewhat, 3 tons in a row keeping him firmly in the rear view mirror for some Coaches. Reilly O’Brien was looked at last week as an option for those trading out the Manbun and a second consecutive monster score will have those with him currently thinking that they're onto a winner. Finally, in reassuring news that not all in the world is utterly f’ed, Jimmy Rowe returned to being a potato and should be traded out if you’ve still got him.

NORTH MELBOURNE vs GWS
Gullapalooza 2021 returns from its week-long hiatus with Jack Ziegull and right-hand-man Aaron Hall likely to have no shortage of chips against the Giants this week. Hall actually has the second highest 5-round-average across SC as far as forwards are concerned (number 1 is Dayne Zorko) and while he will be a popular pick this week, the risk involved now at 502k is significantly higher than what it was 3-4 weeks ago. Ben Cunnington will be of interest to some and a 5-round average of 120 is tempting for a bloke priced at 550k but he has never truly broken through the barrier of sub-premo across 22 rounds – if you’re looking for a true SP in the mids I don’t think he’s your man.

Josh Kelly will be well prepared for Sunday after spending his week off practicing in the Snowy Mountains and there’s a good chance he’ll be joined by Toby Greene, the bloke affectionately known as Punchable around these parts looking like he’ll fit right in with most people’s forward lines full of injury-prone burnmen. At 463k and a BE of 118 you can afford to wait a week and see how he goes, but there is a chance he goes nuclear against the Roos. Tim Taranto was on a mission to kick the ball as far away from his teammates as possible last time out but is the least of most Coaches’ concerns while most eyes will be on Lachie Whitfield at 503k who has returned to form after a slowish first few games. GWS medical staff are concerned about an incident where he brushed his left leg against his bed earlier this week, resulting in him running laps away from the main group.

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Alright Lachie, now don’t you let those dust particles get anywhere near you okay?


WEST COAST vs RICHMOND
Shoutouts to the AFL for 1) giving me more work this week, 2) ruining everyone’s bye structures and 3) killing whatever chance we had of actually getting a reasonable R14 mid rook. Nic Nat was a popular trade in last week for Brodie Grundy and didn’t fail at all against the Blues with his 4th score in a row over 120. There’s almost no cash gained from doing the same trade this week and I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’ve got plenty to spare. Andrew Gaff tonned up but still isn’t really somewhere you should be looking while Shannon Hurn was hot early but did what old people tend to do and forgot there was a game on after half time. Luke Edwards looked good on debut but unfortunately he’s lost to us until R15 – one to watch however.

There’s an oddity when you sort the Richmond players on SC by average – the super stud that is Callum-Coleman Jones turns up at number 1. CCJ looked brilliant again and even with the AFL completely cooking next week for us, you’d be hard pressed to find any coach that lets him go. Shai Bolton continues to be freakishly consistent – his only game under the ton in the last 7 was a 99 and at 523k, there’s a decision to be made around him now given he’s no longer available next week. Dustin Martin tonned up but his scoring is borderline irrelevant at this point while Jayden Short’s magical disappearing act only seems to be getting better with time. Given the change to the Tiges bye, those with trades aplenty may look at moving him on... shortly :moustache:. RCD has completely cooked his cash gen and whatever his ownership is at the end of the round will directly correspond to how many people have stopped giving a fu** since he came in.


MELBOURNE vs COLLINGWOOD
Big Max is slowly returning to proper Maxxxy form and a delicious 138 was provided to many who blessed him with the VC. He’ll be a popular captain option again this week given his ruck competition will consist of Darcy Cameron and a second gamer. The Olliepig nudged over 700k despite crashing back to Earth after a quite-frankly-absurd month of footy but the slack was picked up by Christian Petracca, whose 130 raised more questions about how the fu** this CD algorithm actually works. Christian Salem has had a very poor fortnight and went another week allowing Steven May to swoop on all the chips, the defender finally getting over the ton for those who traded him in at 400k. James Jordon has bounced back wonderfully well since an average outing 2 weeks back and would have rookie of the year sown up if not for a certain late challenger on the other side of the fence….

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Introducing….

Caleb Poulter is that challenger. Outside of an intermittent inability to kick, the young wingman has been brilliant and may be worth keeping long term as F7/M9 cover if you don’t require his cash gen for other upgrades. He’s been ably supported by another young midfielder in Trent Bianco for the past fortnight, an 83 and 75 since debuting making him another rook in the vein of CCJ that is simply too good to ignore despite the bye. Nathan Murphy hasn’t really taken their lead and fell short of the lofty mark of 40 in a new role up forward, while Steele Sidebottom finally managed to break through the 100 barrier on his way to 117. His lowest score in his last 8 starts currently sits at 85, so you know what you’re getting. A similar sentiment should be held for Jack Crisp who seems to be making a mockery of his previously not-SC-friendly status with his fifth ton in a row and a 5-round average firmly in SP territory. At 536k, he’s one to consider given the changes in form and role of popular picks like Ridley and Short.



It is with a heavy heart that I must conclude this by saying that I will unfortunately have to hand the mantle of preview writer back to the Board for the time being – or rather directly to Here2tellyouwhy next week for some drunk boomer degen goodness. Work will not allow me the weekly consistency to commit to these for the moment but this is absolutely not the last essay you’ll see me write this year :moustache: Much appreciation to everyone who’s shown these posts love over the last 5-6 weeks – you kents are the reason I write them and why I want to keep writing them in future.



May the Chol be with you. And, once again, fu** the byes :moustache:
This is brilliant mate.
 
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