YES!! It's the biggest battle of the season!! Where the battle will be so great, through sheer blunt forced masculinity it will neck-bulge itself into a great big mofo-ing BADDLE! Featuring possibly two of the greatest sides ever put together! (if WWE can incessantly over-hype, then so can I dammit!!)
Two expatriates feature in a friend-now-foe match up of Hogan brutishly bull-anting his way through Melbourne defenders, Harley Balic coming out of retirement to extract his vengeance from the blood of the S&C Team (yes!, I'm a tad deranged alright!).
Can the Fremantle Dockers go in, still spiteful all these years after losing Jeff White (well, I was pi55ed off when that happened!) and make this completely-unrelated-to-that-era Demons squad pay?
Can Melbourne's tattooed, bald-headed flog (ooh, how risque!), otherwise vaguely known as The NathanJonestown Massacre (from today!) errr….massacre the Freo management for convincing them to give up the virtually priceless (actually, 220 points in today's currency) pick of 54 for Viv Michie?!
Baddle of the Middle:
Big Boy Darcy will look to having his Hordoring way with the villainous Gilmore-Girl loving Gawnski. Maximilian is a quality foe but after The Giant feasted on the bones of LyDer during his last campaign, he now wants a long bushy ended toothpick to pick his teeth clean of their remains (a man's gotta try n look his best y'know).
Can Captain Fyfe strong arm his way alongside his band of mighty mandibly-endowed merry men (say 'm' again, dammit!) straight through the red & navy blue maggots (sneeeaky ), causing mass demoralisation and actually playing them into even worse form instead of the other way around?
(this has unashamedly become a bit of a one-sided rant, it appears…but what the hell!)
Baddle of the Forward:
Will Sonny rise again (geddit?) and slam down another bag of 6 forcing Steven May to reconsider going back to the pub and doing his own slamming, downing more than a few ales to relieve the pain?
Can the return to his old stomping ground bring aflame the rising Hogan and demonstrate why a McDonald/Weiderman partnership on the other end was always folly by comparison?
Baddle of the Backline:
Will Logue & Hamling stand up strong again in partnership and make it two in a row against a forward line that doesn't feature any player within the top 40 goal scorers? (further highlighting the excellence of the McDonald/Weidman combo ).
Can Luke Ryan maintain his current status as the premier intercept mark ahead of the Fried Chicken Fiend and cut off the forward supply and rebound faster than you can say 'VLADIMIR PUTIN!'?!
As you can see there are many Cans and Wills, (hopefully the cans of an alcohol soaked Melbourne pain numbing sesh after party, conformed to the wills of a mighty Fremantle Dockers!) which I think, most of all, means I should really work on my grammar.
Melbourne are f’ed and we're coming for them.
Freo by Fifty! (yes, because it's alliterative!)