Game Day Round 16: Essendon v Dane Rampe and the Goalpost Gang, MCG, 6th June 2019, 1.45PM AEST

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VelvetSledge

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May 24, 2007
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Round the Fields of Anfield Road
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Essendon
Other Teams
Liverpool FC
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ESSENDON BOMBERS

That’s a season defining win, that one. Going in against heavy favourites GWS, the Bombers never gave up and, in an incredible final quarter effort, came away with a spectacular win.
There’s no denying, we copped the rub of the green completely from the umpires. Usually this would be a bad thing, but after 3-4 years of getting positively fisted by the blokes in green, I’ll accept this one.
Cale Hooker was immense. His final quarter heroics saw the Dons come back from 19 points down in the final term to win by one straight kick.
The kick was probably touched, but whatever.
It wasn’t all gravy, with Tom Bellchambers going down with a calf strain; he will miss up to 6 weeks which he will spend inside his Port Melbourne apartment with Olympia Valance. Poor prick.
How good is Darcy Parish?! Mainstay in the midfield. What a bloke. Let’s sign him on a 10 year Franklin deal.
McKernan, Laverde with two goals. Big Lav is looking more and more like a proper forward nowadays and it makes my pants tighter. McKernan playing as a forward/ruck is special. He had one of his ripper games and didn’t tear his hamstring off the bone. Brilliant.
Adam Saad may well be the best player that the game has ever seen. I’m going to name my daughter Adam.
Langford bossed the final quarter alongside Hooker. Completely dominated. If anyone says that he’s shit then you’re wrong and you deserve a ban. Turns out, Woosha deserves one.
Dyson Heppell. Best captain in the league.

ESSENDON BOMBERS 12.5 77 def. GWS GIANTS 10.11 71

BEST: Merrett, Saad, McKernan, Hooker, Heppell, Langford
GOALS: Laverde, McKernan, Hooker 2, Brown, Fantasia, Shiel, Zaharakis, Langford, Parish
INJURIES: Ambrose (Quad) replaced in side by Francis, Bellchambers (calf), Fantasia (Cut head)
REPORTS: Nil

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SYDNEY SWANS

A pretty regular smashing of the Gold Coast, who have completely fallen off the cliff after a promising start to the season. They’re now rock bottom in 18th after the Swans belted them by 42 points.
The Swans’ are also without their first choice ruckman this week after Callum Sinclair’s shoulder fell off, but managed to get the result with Aliir Aliir heading into the ruck against Jarrod Witts. This also sent Tom McCartin into the backline.
The Swans kicked 8 goals to 2 in the second half, and never really looked like losing it from that point.
The Swans had a great spread of goal kickers, with 5 players scoring two goals and another four scoring a single.
That Blakey is showing a bit. Looks like a lizard, but the boy can play.
It’s really hard to write more about this game, because it was really boring.

SYDNEY SWANS 14.9 93 def. GOLD COAST SUNS 7.9 51

BEST:
Dawson, Parker, Rampe, Hewett, Kennedy, Heeney
GOALS: Reid, Blakey, Ronke, Papley, Heeney 2, Jones, Aliir, Kennedy, Hayward
INJURIES: Sinclair (Shoulder)
REPORTS: Nil





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ESSENDON EMERGENCIES
Dyle Longfark, Brandon Zerk-Thatcher, Ben McNiece, Will Snelling

SYDNEY EMERGENCIES
Robbie Fox, Kieren Jack, Justin McInerney, Ryley Stoddart

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ESSENDON INS: Zac Clarke, Jake Stringer, Matt Guelfi
ESSENDON OUTS: Tom Bellchambers (Calf), Kyle Langford, Josh Begley (Both Omit)

SYDNEY INS: Harry Cunningham
SYDNEY OUTS: Callum Sinclair


A massive loss with Tom Bellchambers, easily our best ruck (maybe save for the saviour Sam Draper), going down with a 6 week calf injury. His common sense replacement is Zac Clarke, who has shown absolutely nothing at AFL level, but is looking half-decent (I guess) at VFL level. With the Swans not naming a dedicated ruck this week, it might turn out to be a huge confidence boost with him. Jake Stringer returns from a nasty ankle injury at the expense of Josh Begley, who while he has been scoring, he doesn't seem to do much else around the ground. With his body and power, he needs to do more around the ground. Kyle Langford didn't deserve to be dropped, after his brilliant final quarter against GWS last week, but he has been Essendon'd, and was dropped anyway. The saving grace here is that they've brought back in sexy Matt Guelfi, which means the crowd will gain about 300 teenage girls who find him irresistible.

The Swans have lost Callum Sinclair with a detached arm, and Harry Cunningham is a replacement. This means they're going to rely on us winning the taps around the ground but tapping directly to their own players.

Ooof.

ESSENDON BOMBERS – #44 – SHAUN McKERNAN

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RISE, LORD SMACK, CONTINUE YOUR DOMINANCE

ESSENDON BOMBERS – #15 – JAYDEN LAVERDE

One of the most polarising players we’ve had in quite some time, Lav is now starting to really show a fair bit as a player. Thank god. He’s attacking the contest, attacking the ball, running hard into opponents, throwing his weight around with confidence. He’s big, he’s strong, he has all the tools to make it as a player. Now that his body is holding up, and he’s getting a solid run in the senior side, we can see just how good he can be. Let’s hope he builds on the solid run he’s showing right now.

SYDNEY SWANS - #24 – DANE RAMPE

You just know that he’s going to get some hellacious boos when he gets the ball today. With the amount of time he’s spent in this Sydney team, he still hasn’t found as much chemistry as he has with...

SYDNEY SWANS- #|| - THE GOAL POSTS

Let’s just grease these puppies up so the flog doesn’t decide to go galivanting up them for shits and gigs.


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You know why.


Round 1 Nominee: Dylan Buckley, GWS
Round 2 Nominee: Dan Hannebery, St Kilda
Round 3 Nominee: Steven May's Groin, Melbourne
Round 4 Nominee: Mitch Robinson’s Fortnite Obsession, Brisbane
Round 5 Nominee: Ben Brown's limp-dicked diving, lol Norf
Round 6 Nominee: Daniel Wells' glass body, Collingwood
Round 7 Nominee: The BigFooty Swear Filter
Round 8 Nominee: Sydney's Football Department (This one didn't end well)
Round 9 Nominee: The AFL
Round 10 Nominee: The AFL again
Round 11 Nominee: Carlton's lack of perspective
Round 12: Bye
Round 13 Nominee: The AFL... Again
Round 14 Nominee: Ben Stratton and Jaidyn Stephenson
Round 15 Nominee: Israel Folau the homophobic knob
Round 16 Nominee: Marc McGowan with his **** clickbaity balls

No rant this week guys, sorry; Been a horrendous week at work and home life doesn't give me much time right now.

**** Dane Rampe.


ROUND 8, 2019
Sydney Cheating Ground
10/5/2019

SYDNEY SWANS 11.11 77
climbed a goalpost and stole the win from
ESSENDON BOMBERS 10.12 72

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ESSENDON BEST: Heppell, Merrett, McGrath, Hurley
ESSENDON GOALS: Fantasia 4, Parish 2, Bellchambers, Stringer, Merrett, McKenna

SYDNEY BEST: Kennedy, Parker, Lloyd, Mills
SYDNEY GOALS: Dawson 2, Reid, Heeney, O’Riordan, Papley, Florent, Hayward, Fox, Blakey, McCartin

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CHANGES SINCE THEN

ESSENDON OUTS:
Bellchambers, Smith, Ambrose, Myers, Ham
ESSENDON INS: Gleeson, Laverde, D. Clarke, Brown, McKernan

SYDNEY OUTS: Thurlow, Sinclair, Fox, Jack
SYDNEY INS: Cunningham, Rowbottom, Rose, Ronke

MELBOURNE:
TV:
FOX Footy (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), Kayo Sports (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST)
RADIO: Triple M, 3AW, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)

SYDNEY:
TV:
Channel 7 (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), FOX Footy (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), Kayo Sports (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST)
RADIO: Macquarie Sports Radio, Triple M, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)

ADELAIDE:
TV:
FOX Footy (LIVE at 1.00pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm ACST), Kayo Sports (LIVE at 1.00pm ACST)
RADIO: Triple M, FIVEaa, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)

PERTH:
TV:
FOX Footy (LIVE at 11.30am AWST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 11.30am AWST), Kayo Sports (LIVE at 11.30am AWST)
RADIO: ABC, 6PR, Triple M DAB+
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)

BRISBANE:
TV:
FOX Footy (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), Kayo Sports (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST)
RADIO: -
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)

TASMANIA:
TV:
FOX Footy (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST), Kayo Sports (LIVE at 1.30pm AEST)
RADIO: Triple M, ABC, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)

DARWIN:
TV:
FOX Footy (LIVE at 1.00pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm ACST), Kayo Sports (LIVE at 1.00pm ACST)
RADIO: ABC, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)




**** Dane Rampe and his dumbass moustache.

Bombers to win and Zac Clarke to kick his first goal for the Dons. He'll get 50 hitouts.

BOMBERS BY 34.

REVENGE REEEEEEEE
 

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