Autopsy Round 17 Swans Vs Brisbane

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Millky95

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Jul 6, 2014
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Watching the game with the missus in the room - actual conversations. Really they are. And there were plenty more. Some highlights anyway.

She: Oh wow the Swans are in front and only 14 minutes to go.

Me: Sweetie that is time remaining in the first quarter, game just started so lot of footy to go.

She: But I want to watch the Notebook

Me: .........

Then later

She: Why don't they kick it to people on their side?

Me: They are trying to, you see there is pressure coming form the other side, it's a bit wet as well so it is not that easy.

She: They are kicking a ball Mark. And they get paid like $20,000 a year or something why can't they do it right. It just seems so silly. Can I put the Notebook on

Me: .........

And further on

She: Who was that big tall guy. In the red and white jumper. He just dropped that and it was an easy catch.

Me: That's Sam Reid and it is not a catch it is a "mark" just l like my name.

She: Well that was silly. And he is so tall. The red and white are the Swans aren't they? He is not very good is he? Can I watch the Notebook yet?

Me: No he isn't good. WTF do you mean who are the Swans? And no you can't watch the ******* Notebook yet.

She: No need to be rude. Oh now look that tall guy just kicked it out over the sideline. Is that bad?

Me: .......

And near the end

She: Well the other side just scored a lot of the goal thingies. You get 2 points for them right? Why only 2. Shouldn't you get more? I think more players from your side, the red and white ones Mark see I remembered, should try kicking more goals. If they did that they would win more games.

Me: fu** it. I am am ringing horse right now. You have cracked the magical secret to winning games. Kicking more 6 POINT goals. You could coach at senior level. Kick better, catch balls and score goals. Why didn't anyone else think of this!

She: I know you are being sarcastic and rude. It is not a good look sweetie. And what's a horse got to do with the soccer thing you watch.

Me: Screw it here is the Notebook

She: Good boy. Now run along and leave me alone and get me a wine and the tissues.

I need the season to end bad.
I see you guys didn't meet over your mutual love of football
 

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dosser

All Australian
Sep 15, 2012
855
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Watching the game with the missus in the room - actual conversations. Really they are. And there were plenty more. Some highlights anyway.

She: Oh wow the Swans are in front and only 14 minutes to go.

Me: Sweetie that is time remaining in the first quarter, game just started so lot of footy to go.

She: But I want to watch the Notebook

Me: .........

Then later

She: Why don't they kick it to people on their side?

Me: They are trying to, you see there is pressure coming form the other side, it's a bit wet as well so it is not that easy.

She: They are kicking a ball Mark. And they get paid like $20,000 a year or something why can't they do it right. It just seems so silly. Can I put the Notebook on

Me: .........

And further on

She: Who was that big tall guy. In the red and white jumper. He just dropped that and it was an easy catch.

Me: That's Sam Reid and it is not a catch it is a "mark" just l like my name.

She: Well that was silly. And he is so tall. The red and white are the Swans aren't they? He is not very good is he? Can I watch the Notebook yet?

Me: No he isn't good. WTF do you mean who are the Swans? And no you can't watch the ******* Notebook yet.

She: No need to be rude. Oh now look that tall guy just kicked it out over the sideline. Is that bad?

Me: .......

And near the end

She: Well the other side just scored a lot of the goal thingies. You get 2 points for them right? Why only 2. Shouldn't you get more? I think more players from your side, the red and white ones Mark see I remembered, should try kicking more goals. If they did that they would win more games.

Me: fu** it. I am am ringing horse right now. You have cracked the magical secret to winning games. Kicking more 6 POINT goals. You could coach at senior level. Kick better, catch balls and score goals. Why didn't anyone else think of this!

She: I know you are being sarcastic and rude. It is not a good look sweetie. And what's a horse got to do with the soccer thing you watch.

Me: Screw it here is the Notebook

She: Good boy. Now run along and leave me alone and get me a wine and the tissues.

I need the season to end bad.
Now see? This is why i always advocate pre-marriage counselling. You get to discover all of those areas that the darl doesn't come up to scratch BEFORE you invest heavily.
At least The Notebook is a one-off. Mine wants to watch Survivor/ The Voice/ any mind-numbing 'reality' show that is being promoted at the time.
My advice? Start her on the wine early so that she is tired and goes to bed by 8pm. The rest of the evening is then open for Swans replays and the cricket.
 

bedford

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Pretty much this ^^^
I've only ever really known the opera house guernsey so to me IT IS The Swans, but I love the red V and think it looks brilliant and in the end, it's the ultimate sign that yes we are Sydney, but we are also still South Melbourne and that's a good thing.
No problem with the red back jumper , love it . We can have the best of both Red back in Sydney and the Red V in Melbourne
 

bungee

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Not a bad game but we got scored on very quickly at the end, alloiwng Brissie to doublle their score in the last 10 mins or so. A few personal notes for the players.

JPK, Parks. You boys are the old bulls and your horns are still sharp. Great game both of you but you can't carry our midfield forever. Get those young mids working harder. Imagine how you'd go with a decent ruck.

Cunningham. You're fast, you're gutsy, a good mark, a good kick, you read the play well and get to contest after contest in the nick of time. You're not flash but you keep your feet, play the ball in front of you in the wet and you're arguably our most consistent player this year. You always play a good game. So why were some fans on here talking about dropping you ?

Papley, it's a team game and there's no i in asshole, so stop grimacing daggers at your teammates or acting like a primadonna when their delivery inside 50 isn't lace out perfect. They're under pressure. What's your excuse ? If the goals have dried up it could be because i) your set shot kicking is sh*te, or ii) maybe you need to lead better.

Buddy. Earn your keep. Teach your teammates to take the shot. Take the ferkin' shot already.

Mills. Don't bomb it long to the centre square unless there's a Swans player to mark it.

Horse. Make our boys train for wet weather footy in the off-season. Half our games are in Melbourne (normally) so why can't we play in the wet ? That's two weeks now where we've used too many dinky little kicks and handballs in the wet. Teach them that the ball will go over the back of packs in the wet. Brissie knew that and fed off the packs, even getting goal side of a few inside 50 packs. Why wasn't our spare sitting in the defensive square, like a goalie. Rampe would not have let that happen. No seriously though Horse, most of us love turnovers (the apple variety) but we hated getting killed on turnovers. Just train with the sprinklers on, or train in Melbourne during spring.
 

bungee

Trump dump
Aug 16, 2006
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I follow no other, only Swans
Now see? This is why i always advocate pre-marriage counselling. You get to discover all of those areas that the darl doesn't come up to scratch BEFORE you invest heavily.
At least The Notebook is a one-off. Mine wants to watch Survivor/ The Voice/ any mind-numbing 'reality' show that is being promoted at the time.
My advice? Start her on the wine early so that she is tired and goes to bed by 8pm. The rest of the evening is then open for Swans replays and the cricket.
I detest reality TV.
 

caesar88

Brownlow Medallist
Apr 26, 2016
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Not a bad game but we got scored on very quickly at the end, alloiwng Brissie to doublle their score in the last 10 mins or so. A few personal notes for the players.

JPK, Parks. You boys are the old bulls and your horns are still sharp. Great game both of you but you can't carry our midfield forever. Get those young mids working harder. Imagine how you'd go with a decent ruck.

Cunningham. You're fast, you're gutsy, a good mark, a good kick, you read the play well and get to contest after contest in the nick of time. You're not flash but you keep your feet, play the ball in front of you in the wet and you're arguably our most consistent player this year. You always play a good game. So why were some fans on here talking about dropping you ?

Papley, it's a team game and there's no i in asshole, so stop grimacing daggers at your teammates or acting like a primadonna when their delivery inside 50 isn't lace out perfect. They're under pressure. What's your excuse ? If the goals have dried up it could be because i) your set shot kicking is sh*te, or ii) maybe you need to lead better.

Buddy. Earn your keep. Teach your teammates to take the shot. Take the ferkin' shot already.

Mills. Don't bomb it long to the centre square unless there's a Swans player to mark it.

Horse. Make our boys train for wet weather footy in the off-season. Half our games are in Melbourne (normally) so why can't we play in the wet ? That's two weeks now where we've used too many dinky little kicks and handballs in the wet. Teach them that the ball will go over the back of packs in the wet. Brissie knew that and fed off the packs, even getting goal side of a few inside 50 packs. Why wasn't our spare sitting in the defensive square, like a goalie. Rampe would not have let that happen. No seriously though Horse, most of us love turnovers (the apple variety) but we hated getting killed on turnovers. Just train with the sprinklers on, or train in Melbourne during spring.
JPK and Parker could try maybe showing a modicum of composure to get it to their younger peers, instead of just hacking it forward off one step without looking?

To be fair to Parker he's had a few games this year where he's cut that sh*t out. Against GWS, Melbourne and yesterday he was relatively smart in there. Few and far between though.
 

TheMase

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Watching the game with the missus in the room - actual conversations. Really they are. And there were plenty more. Some highlights anyway.

She: Oh wow the Swans are in front and only 14 minutes to go.

Me: Sweetie that is time remaining in the first quarter, game just started so lot of footy to go.

She: But I want to watch the Notebook

Me: .........

Then later

She: Why don't they kick it to people on their side?

Me: They are trying to, you see there is pressure coming form the other side, it's a bit wet as well so it is not that easy.

She: They are kicking a ball Mark. And they get paid like $20,000 a year or something why can't they do it right. It just seems so silly. Can I put the Notebook on

Me: .........

And further on

She: Who was that big tall guy. In the red and white jumper. He just dropped that and it was an easy catch.

Me: That's Sam Reid and it is not a catch it is a "mark" just l like my name.

She: Well that was silly. And he is so tall. The red and white are the Swans aren't they? He is not very good is he? Can I watch the Notebook yet?

Me: No he isn't good. WTF do you mean who are the Swans? And no you can't watch the ******* Notebook yet.

She: No need to be rude. Oh now look that tall guy just kicked it out over the sideline. Is that bad?

Me: .......

And near the end

She: Well the other side just scored a lot of the goal thingies. You get 2 points for them right? Why only 2. Shouldn't you get more? I think more players from your side, the red and white ones Mark see I remembered, should try kicking more goals. If they did that they would win more games.

Me: fu** it. I am am ringing horse right now. You have cracked the magical secret to winning games. Kicking more 6 POINT goals. You could coach at senior level. Kick better, catch balls and score goals. Why didn't anyone else think of this!

She: I know you are being sarcastic and rude. It is not a good look sweetie. And what's a horse got to do with the soccer thing you watch.

Me: Screw it here is the Notebook

She: Good boy. Now run along and leave me alone and get me a wine and the tissues.

I need the season to end bad.
I made it very clear to my wife when we first started dating that footy time is sacrosanct. That she has all the rest of the week to bother me, not the 3 hours a week (for half the year) the Swans are playing. She is pretty good at respecting that.

Even sex is off the table and don’t worry she has tried (just to sh*t me) but she gets my angry eyes / a few choice words and knows better now.......
 

Big Blood

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Jun 27, 2010
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The biggest positive was that for much of the game we were on top of their midfield that included Neal, Zorko, Lyons. We might have won if we'd had better connection with forwards.

Really liked Bell's game. He could teach Reid a thing or two about energy and aggression.

Aliir could be the ruckman we've been looking for.
 

caesar88

Brownlow Medallist
Apr 26, 2016
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The biggest positive was that for much of the game we were on top of their midfield that included Neal, Zorko, Lyons. We might have won if we'd had better connection with forwards.

Really liked Bell's game. He could teach Reid a thing or two about energy and aggression.

Aliir could be the ruckman we've been looking for.
Is the connection with the forwards kinda not the key part of the midfield though? As I have been saying, for months now, our midfield has always won basically the same amount of opportunities at centre bounces as opposition midfields. They always will by sheer grunt and strength (it was particularly comical watching Parker brush Zorko off yesterday like he was a mosquito.)

They are just flat out awful with how they use it. Hack kicks and fumbled possessions when it's ours to be won, then being too slow to apply any sort of pressure when it's the opposition's to be won. Hence our centre clearances = rushed, sloppy; opposition's centre clearances = clean, efficient.

It's the main difference every week and no one is prepared to admit it because it involves potentially criticising two champions of the club (four if you attribute the failures to the midfield coaching tenures of Kirk and McVeigh.)
 

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bedford

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If what Clarke did was over the top against a fair player , if it was against a Swan we would be seeking the death penalty . This is why the Kirks and Lings are respected as taggers as they didn't need to resort to sh*t tactics , they just stayed with their opponents and more than often beat their man.
 

RUNVS

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Positives

- we dug in the whole game, we can accept the loss if we did.
- Fox looks great in the role he's playing

Negatives

- Blakely dear lord! Work harder and stop trying to get mark or goal of the year every second!
- Armartey I now it was his first game, but sorry I saw nothing
I don't know how anyone could say Blakey was a negative. He single handedly got 2 goals for the Swans at very important times with excellent inside 50 kicks that most players could not manage. He is a very talented player.
 

bedford

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I don't know how anyone could say Blakey was a negative. He single handedly got 2 goals for the Swans at very important times with excellent inside 50 kicks that most players could not manage. He is a very talented player.
Why bother with him , @NFI !
 

LukeParkerno1

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I don't know how anyone could say Blakey was a negative. He single handedly got 2 goals for the Swans at very important times with excellent inside 50 kicks that most players could not manage. He is a very talented player.
Did a couple of things yes, but he also comically butchered chances going forward. Plus as a mid he got 10 possessions or whatever, it's not enough.
 

caesar88

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Did a couple of things yes, but he also comically butchered chances going forward. Plus as a mid he got 10 possessions or whatever, it's not enough.
Who didn't? To single Blakey out when 90% of the team was ball butchering and he was basically the only one who delivered it well inside 50 is just cherry-picking.
 

RUNVS

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Did a couple of things yes, but he also comically butchered chances going forward. Plus as a mid he got 10 possessions or whatever, it's not enough.
14 disposals which isn't that bad, also shows he is improving in that area too.

I know this is a massive call but I see a lot of Goodes in Blakey.
 

LukeParkerno1

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Who didn't? To single Blakey out when 90% of the team was ball butchering and he was basically the only one who delivered it well inside 50 is just cherry-picking.
I expect way more from him. It's that simple. I sort of expect our Clarke types to butcher it, I don't expect Blakely types to.
 

LukeParkerno1

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14 disposals which isn't that bad, also shows he is improving in that area too.

I know this is a massive call but I see a lot of Goodes in Blakey.
Did some good things yes, but 14 is on the low end. Needs to get that up to 20 odd. That would be 26-28 in the real length games.
 

The King!

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Watching the game with the missus in the room - actual conversations. Really they are. And there were plenty more. Some highlights anyway.

She: Oh wow the Swans are in front and only 14 minutes to go.

Me: Sweetie that is time remaining in the first quarter, game just started so lot of footy to go.

She: But I want to watch the Notebook

Me: .........

Then later

She: Why don't they kick it to people on their side?

Me: They are trying to, you see there is pressure coming form the other side, it's a bit wet as well so it is not that easy.

She: They are kicking a ball Mark. And they get paid like $20,000 a year or something why can't they do it right. It just seems so silly. Can I put the Notebook on

Me: .........

And further on

She: Who was that big tall guy. In the red and white jumper. He just dropped that and it was an easy catch.

Me: That's Sam Reid and it is not a catch it is a "mark" just l like my name.

She: Well that was silly. And he is so tall. The red and white are the Swans aren't they? He is not very good is he? Can I watch the Notebook yet?

Me: No he isn't good. WTF do you mean who are the Swans? And no you can't watch the ******* Notebook yet.

She: No need to be rude. Oh now look that tall guy just kicked it out over the sideline. Is that bad?

Me: .......

And near the end

She: Well the other side just scored a lot of the goal thingies. You get 2 points for them right? Why only 2. Shouldn't you get more? I think more players from your side, the red and white ones Mark see I remembered, should try kicking more goals. If they did that they would win more games.

Me: fu** it. I am am ringing horse right now. You have cracked the magical secret to winning games. Kicking more 6 POINT goals. You could coach at senior level. Kick better, catch balls and score goals. Why didn't anyone else think of this!

She: I know you are being sarcastic and rude. It is not a good look sweetie. And what's a horse got to do with the soccer thing you watch.

Me: Screw it here is the Notebook

She: Good boy. Now run along and leave me alone and get me a wine and the tissues.

I need the season to end bad.

Can we get her on here, she has some insights I reckon
 

caesar88

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I expect way more from him. It's that simple. I sort of expect our Clarke types to butcher it, I don't expect Blakely types to.
And therein lies the problem.

Blakey is not some established superstar. He is from the same draft as Rowbottom and McInerney. Those two have Blakey's game yesterday - having a crack, getting involved, with some elite highlights scattered amongst some unsuccessful plays - we are currently raving about how promising they are. Blakey does it, and it's just not good enough dammit!
 

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