I see you guys didn't meet over your mutual love of footballWatching the game with the missus in the room - actual conversations. Really they are. And there were plenty more. Some highlights anyway.
She: Oh wow the Swans are in front and only 14 minutes to go.
Me: Sweetie that is time remaining in the first quarter, game just started so lot of footy to go.
She: But I want to watch the Notebook
She: Why don't they kick it to people on their side?
Me: They are trying to, you see there is pressure coming form the other side, it's a bit wet as well so it is not that easy.
She: They are kicking a ball Mark. And they get paid like $20,000 a year or something why can't they do it right. It just seems so silly. Can I put the Notebook on
And further on
She: Who was that big tall guy. In the red and white jumper. He just dropped that and it was an easy catch.
Me: That's Sam Reid and it is not a catch it is a "mark" just l like my name.
She: Well that was silly. And he is so tall. The red and white are the Swans aren't they? He is not very good is he? Can I watch the Notebook yet?
Me: No he isn't good. WTF do you mean who are the Swans? And no you can't watch the ******* Notebook yet.
She: No need to be rude. Oh now look that tall guy just kicked it out over the sideline. Is that bad?
And near the end
She: Well the other side just scored a lot of the goal thingies. You get 2 points for them right? Why only 2. Shouldn't you get more? I think more players from your side, the red and white ones Mark see I remembered, should try kicking more goals. If they did that they would win more games.
Me: fu** it. I am am ringing horse right now. You have cracked the magical secret to winning games. Kicking more 6 POINT goals. You could coach at senior level. Kick better, catch balls and score goals. Why didn't anyone else think of this!
She: I know you are being sarcastic and rude. It is not a good look sweetie. And what's a horse got to do with the soccer thing you watch.
Me: Screw it here is the Notebook
She: Good boy. Now run along and leave me alone and get me a wine and the tissues.
I need the season to end bad.