Bender_
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Who: West Coast Eagles vs Port Adelaide Power est 1692
Where: Adelaide Oval, Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
When: Sunday 13th of July 2025, 2:40pm WST
What: Australian Rules Football
Why: Coz it's fun
If you want legitimate football analysis then watch Kingy - he's the one, he's the one for mine if you want figures and cliches. Instead, if you're like me, then Port are one of your most disliked clubs in AFL history - I'm sure you've heard them being referred to as "The Dockers of South Australia" before (no, Kingy didn't say that); lame moniker, shitty colours, dickhead players and feral fans with a chip on their shoulders - it's pretty accurate. So join me for my countdown of biggest Port Dickheads, just to make your piss boil.
Jason Davenport:
F*ck this guy ay. Made an AFL career from playing us - his wiki page even has his nickname as "Eagle Killer". Basically invented the "which no name spud is going to have a career game against us" tradition. And he even has Port in his name. Eat a bag of dicks Jason.
David Koch:
Never wanted to stab someone in the forehead with a fork as much as I do "Kochie". From his whiney voice to his shitty financial advice, this guy blows donkeys. And we all know your name is pronounced "c*ck", David. Here's some financial advice, don't waste your money on a Port membership, they'll be giving them away to fill empty seats that they can't cover with tarps soon enough. Your legacy will be bringing the cringe pregame INXS tradition to the club. Embarrassing.
Josh Carr:
One of the unfortunate few to play in both teal and in purple, this guy was a loser in both colours. A career tagger - which basically means he's athletic enough to run alongside footballers but not actually kick it - he's now back at home, waiting for the steamy peanut filled turd of a list that Uncle Kenny is going to leave for him at the end of the year. Would be in my top 3 most hated AFL figures of all time and I get a semi everytime I think about Mark Riccuitto cracking him in the head in carpark outside a pub back in the day. Would give me great pleasure to poo-handle this guy's car. campaigner.
Peter Burgoyne:
Dirty player, hated him since he spear-tackled Kerr. Your son sucks at footy. That's all I've got.
"Thunda":
This dick head. Get f*cked.
Kenny Hinkley:
Mixed feelings about his coaching career coming to an end, on one hand we won't have to see his smug face that much anymore. But on the other we're going to miss out on all the endless tantrums he regularly has, his little outbursts, taunting opposition players like a child and threatening senior citizens with a machete (probably). Go well Kenny, you massive campaigner.
Kane Cornes:
Pretty average footballer - same mold a Josh Carr. Wasn't very good, just sheep dogged his way to 300 games on the back of having a famous dad. These days he's known for his hot takes, hate-jerking his c*ck to Harley Reid and not having the guts to stick out a career as a fire fighter. Pea hearted campaigner. You're a genital wart on the festering penis that is the AFL media, would love for the airbags in your car to spontaneously deploy in traffic.
Warren Tredrea:
Don't hate this guy as much as I used to since he's come out as an anti-vaxxer, sovereign citizen, money doesn't really exist, $my yes be yes and my no be no$ nut job the past few years. Absolutely fantastic stuff. I'd laugh my hole off if he got polio.
Honourable mentions:
Charlie Dixon, Chad Cornes, Mark Williams - probably more, help me out if you can.
Anyway, danger game. Will officially have Wosh change my name to Gimp_ til the end of the season if we can get up and say farewell to Hinkley with a nice win.
Where: Adelaide Oval, Adelaide, South Australia, Australia
When: Sunday 13th of July 2025, 2:40pm WST
What: Australian Rules Football
Why: Coz it's fun
If you want legitimate football analysis then watch Kingy - he's the one, he's the one for mine if you want figures and cliches. Instead, if you're like me, then Port are one of your most disliked clubs in AFL history - I'm sure you've heard them being referred to as "The Dockers of South Australia" before (no, Kingy didn't say that); lame moniker, shitty colours, dickhead players and feral fans with a chip on their shoulders - it's pretty accurate. So join me for my countdown of biggest Port Dickheads, just to make your piss boil.
Jason Davenport:
F*ck this guy ay. Made an AFL career from playing us - his wiki page even has his nickname as "Eagle Killer". Basically invented the "which no name spud is going to have a career game against us" tradition. And he even has Port in his name. Eat a bag of dicks Jason.
David Koch:
Never wanted to stab someone in the forehead with a fork as much as I do "Kochie". From his whiney voice to his shitty financial advice, this guy blows donkeys. And we all know your name is pronounced "c*ck", David. Here's some financial advice, don't waste your money on a Port membership, they'll be giving them away to fill empty seats that they can't cover with tarps soon enough. Your legacy will be bringing the cringe pregame INXS tradition to the club. Embarrassing.
Josh Carr:
One of the unfortunate few to play in both teal and in purple, this guy was a loser in both colours. A career tagger - which basically means he's athletic enough to run alongside footballers but not actually kick it - he's now back at home, waiting for the steamy peanut filled turd of a list that Uncle Kenny is going to leave for him at the end of the year. Would be in my top 3 most hated AFL figures of all time and I get a semi everytime I think about Mark Riccuitto cracking him in the head in carpark outside a pub back in the day. Would give me great pleasure to poo-handle this guy's car. campaigner.
Peter Burgoyne:
Dirty player, hated him since he spear-tackled Kerr. Your son sucks at footy. That's all I've got.
"Thunda":
This dick head. Get f*cked.
Kenny Hinkley:
Mixed feelings about his coaching career coming to an end, on one hand we won't have to see his smug face that much anymore. But on the other we're going to miss out on all the endless tantrums he regularly has, his little outbursts, taunting opposition players like a child and threatening senior citizens with a machete (probably). Go well Kenny, you massive campaigner.
Kane Cornes:
Pretty average footballer - same mold a Josh Carr. Wasn't very good, just sheep dogged his way to 300 games on the back of having a famous dad. These days he's known for his hot takes, hate-jerking his c*ck to Harley Reid and not having the guts to stick out a career as a fire fighter. Pea hearted campaigner. You're a genital wart on the festering penis that is the AFL media, would love for the airbags in your car to spontaneously deploy in traffic.
Warren Tredrea:
Don't hate this guy as much as I used to since he's come out as an anti-vaxxer, sovereign citizen, money doesn't really exist, $my yes be yes and my no be no$ nut job the past few years. Absolutely fantastic stuff. I'd laugh my hole off if he got polio.
Honourable mentions:
Charlie Dixon, Chad Cornes, Mark Williams - probably more, help me out if you can.
Anyway, danger game. Will officially have Wosh change my name to Gimp_ til the end of the season if we can get up and say farewell to Hinkley with a nice win.
