Bonz
🤺🤺🤺
Essendon Bombers Vs Sydney Swans
When: 7:50PM Friday
Where: Sydney’s home away from home
Teams
In Essendon (To be updated Wednesday)
In Sydney (To be updated Wednesday)
Recent history
Essendon have been in very strong form as of late, having won 4 of their last 5 matches the only slip up being against a fired-up squad of umpires in round 16.
I struggle to remember much of Sydney’s recent history as I have been on a whisky bender since Saturday at around 4:30PM, but according to the AFL website Sydney have now lost 3 of their last 4 games.
I do remember these stats very well though.
· Sydney have won 15 of their last 17 at Etihad Stadium
· Sydney have won their last 8 against Essendon
Key Match-ups
Lloyd and Orrraaaazzziiiooooo Fantasia vs Brian Taylors vocal chords/ heart.
The big question coming into Friday night will be what gives out first, Brian Taylor’s vocal chords or Brian Taylor’s heart, I am sure football fans everywhere will be hoping his heart gives out first so we can get him off the air. Personally I think the heart is going to pop sometime in the third quarter after Orazio drops a mark that lands in Llyods lap who successfully passes the ball the entirety of 20 meters to Allir Allir. (Yes I am aware this may be a little bit farfetched as we all know Llyod doesn’t pass the ball more than 15 metres).
Hurley (A.k.a Essendon’s midfield) vs Franklin
I am sure every reporter in the stratosphere is going to mention this, but I think I will try and beat some of them to the punch. Franklin really likes playing against Essendon (68 goals in 15 games). I think Franklin should have this contest won and this battle is going to depend entirely on the midfield battle.
Sydney’s midfield vs the center bounce
Let’s face it, outside of a single quarter against lolnorf our midfield hasn’t turned up for a series of weeks now. Our ability to get the ball out of the center skill is currently 0 to 17 right now (Carlton at least have 3 meter Cripps). If we can at least break even out of the center square against Essendon I think it will go a long way towards victory, the problem is I can’t see Longmire making the necessary changes needed.
Final Prediction
This entire match comes down to a few factors
· Will we respond to criticism? (Something our team has been lacking in recent times)
· Both teams are absolutely hated by the umps, who will get the armchair ride? (Personally I think it’s a joke I have to even write this about a professional sport)
· Will Longmire make the changes necessary to reinvigorate the team (Whilst I believe Longmire is a great people manager (In particular with our youth) I don’t think he is someone who can truly think outside of the box when it comes down to gameday scenarios.
If we can complete two of the above three factors (Who are we kidding, we won’t get an armchair ride from the umps) then I believe we will win. The issue is I can’t see this happening right now.
Essendon beat Gold Coast by 44 points
Sydney lost to Gold Coast by 24 points
This means Essendon will beat Sydney by approximately 68 points (But who knows a week is a long time in football).
A few key words this preview is missing that should make Swans fans at least crack a smile
AA has signed on for 3 more years
Gary Rohan after the siren
Tony Lockett after the siren
Courtney Dempsey played on after the siren (and the drugs wouldn’t of helped him kick it anyways)
When: 7:50PM Friday
Where: Sydney’s home away from home
Teams
In Essendon (To be updated Wednesday)
In Sydney (To be updated Wednesday)
Recent history
Essendon have been in very strong form as of late, having won 4 of their last 5 matches the only slip up being against a fired-up squad of umpires in round 16.
I struggle to remember much of Sydney’s recent history as I have been on a whisky bender since Saturday at around 4:30PM, but according to the AFL website Sydney have now lost 3 of their last 4 games.
I do remember these stats very well though.
· Sydney have won 15 of their last 17 at Etihad Stadium
· Sydney have won their last 8 against Essendon
Key Match-ups
Lloyd and Orrraaaazzziiiooooo Fantasia vs Brian Taylors vocal chords/ heart.
The big question coming into Friday night will be what gives out first, Brian Taylor’s vocal chords or Brian Taylor’s heart, I am sure football fans everywhere will be hoping his heart gives out first so we can get him off the air. Personally I think the heart is going to pop sometime in the third quarter after Orazio drops a mark that lands in Llyods lap who successfully passes the ball the entirety of 20 meters to Allir Allir. (Yes I am aware this may be a little bit farfetched as we all know Llyod doesn’t pass the ball more than 15 metres).
Hurley (A.k.a Essendon’s midfield) vs Franklin
I am sure every reporter in the stratosphere is going to mention this, but I think I will try and beat some of them to the punch. Franklin really likes playing against Essendon (68 goals in 15 games). I think Franklin should have this contest won and this battle is going to depend entirely on the midfield battle.
Sydney’s midfield vs the center bounce
Let’s face it, outside of a single quarter against lolnorf our midfield hasn’t turned up for a series of weeks now. Our ability to get the ball out of the center skill is currently 0 to 17 right now (Carlton at least have 3 meter Cripps). If we can at least break even out of the center square against Essendon I think it will go a long way towards victory, the problem is I can’t see Longmire making the necessary changes needed.
Final Prediction
This entire match comes down to a few factors
· Will we respond to criticism? (Something our team has been lacking in recent times)
· Both teams are absolutely hated by the umps, who will get the armchair ride? (Personally I think it’s a joke I have to even write this about a professional sport)
· Will Longmire make the changes necessary to reinvigorate the team (Whilst I believe Longmire is a great people manager (In particular with our youth) I don’t think he is someone who can truly think outside of the box when it comes down to gameday scenarios.
If we can complete two of the above three factors (Who are we kidding, we won’t get an armchair ride from the umps) then I believe we will win. The issue is I can’t see this happening right now.
Essendon beat Gold Coast by 44 points
Sydney lost to Gold Coast by 24 points
This means Essendon will beat Sydney by approximately 68 points (But who knows a week is a long time in football).
A few key words this preview is missing that should make Swans fans at least crack a smile
AA has signed on for 3 more years
Gary Rohan after the siren
Tony Lockett after the siren
Courtney Dempsey played on after the siren (and the drugs wouldn’t of helped him kick it anyways)
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