BigFooty Forum

I had grand plans of making up a different satirical preview of Andrew Gaff going through the stations of the cross (in pictures), but alas waking up this morning to the news of Oscar Allen and his knee flattened me a bit and I decided to head in a different direction. (Gaff may have to wait until next week when we’re closer to Easter)



Let’s be honest, it’s unlikely we’re going to be able to defeat a team that is looking like bottom 4 chances let alone premiership fancies in GWS, so I’ve decided to make a list of match-ups I’d like to see instead.



Oscar Allen vs Priest Specialising in Exorcism



Would be a fiery clash, with the priest likely to expel the ghost of Christmas past from Oz’s knee. Worth breaking the soft cap for.



MRP vs Ernie Dingo



With Ernie already taking our round 1 against the MRP I think it’s time for a rematch. The ground has returned as hard as nails for the rematch and should be able to break Ernie. Or at least stress fracture him.



Jeremy McGovern vs Witch Doctor



Unfortunately before I even had a chance to finish this write up, Gov has already defeated the Witch Doctor and dispelled all the bad ju-ju from his previous injuries by stealing the Dr’s chicken and eating it whole. And live.



Andrew Gaff vs The FroYo



In a desperate bid to regain form Andrew Gaff switched from icecream to frozen yoghurt, not realizing it has the same amount of calories and just tastes like shit. Yet another poor decision from Andrew to eat the cursed yoghurt.



Harley Reid vs The Devil’s Red-headed Step Child with a Learning Disability



Not content with making a fool of himself pre-draft by proclaiming Harls wouldn’t end up at the Eagles, Ol’ Forehead Like a Drive-in Movie Theatre McClure doubled down and explained why the Eagles should’ve split the pick, but not split it, coz - erm, reasons. Sniffing Harley’s footy shorts is about as close as McClure will get to relevancy. Meanwhile Harley is Already Our Best Player , but needs to cut back on the snacks and smiling a bit.



Anyway, I look forward to this weekends match against GWS this that can go one of 2 ways: Eagles win by 11 Burgiels or Eagles lose by 27 Sack Simmos.



Danger game, get up, etc.