Round Round 20 Matchday Discussion - Dedicated to the Thighmaster

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Loose at HB

Professional Melter
Apr 20, 2018
3,043
11,318
Melbourne
AFL Club
Carlton
The mark of a reasonable quality writer is to be able to read the room and know his audience. So this week, we’ll be heading back in time to tell a story. Historical accuracy may or may not be kept to in this retelling.

1987 was a simpler time – so I’m told anyway. The AFL didn’t even exist yet, Carlton were actually good, most of this board were in their absolute boomer degen prime (except for ImissFrosty, whose parents probably hadn’t even met yet) and the only time there were no crowds at the footy was when North Melbourne were playing at home. Video games had just started to come into existence but the internet wasn’t really a thing – social media and havens like BigFooty were mere glints in the eyes of their probably pre-pubescent inventors. The concept of fantasy football didn’t even come into being until 13 years later – yet something happened in 1987 that would change the lives of many forever.

The area that we know today as the Barossa Valley is mostly famous around Australia for attracting basically every mid 20s Victorian couple in existence when the bloke realises his missus is a wine addict and the Yarra just doesn’t do it anymore. What many people forget, however, is that the reason it’s even called a “Valley” at all was due to a shockwave of seismic proportions on September 4, 1987 – the birth of one Shannon Hurn.

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Doctors in Adelaide throughout 1987 had never seen quite anything like it. We’ve all heard of babies kicking throughout the pregnancy to let mum know that they’re hanging around. Yet for Mrs. Hurn, her developing fetus was kicking almost from day 1. At every check-up ultrasound finding the young baby’s heartbeat was always a challenge yet they knew he was in there – the fuzzy signal of muscle fibres and the continual kicking, usually with his right leg, meant the baby was absolutely alive and well. Documentation of Shannon’s birth in September is a bit hazy – some suggest his thighs were already approximately 35cm in girth and there was no way he was coming out naturally. Other reports indicate that the gynaecologist present for the caesarean received a swift right boot to the head as he lifted the Thighmaster out of his mother’s abdomen.

Shannon was a typically well behaved child – he was quiet and shy and yet always attracted attention for the small seismic disturbances he created when he moved. It was no surprise at age 5 when the young lad was already squatting 250kg for reps. His ginormous quads caused some of the other, less dominant kids to fear him yet he was always first picked for footy at lunchtime – being able to pick up the pill and boot it from the sandbox on the opposite of the school straight through the big sticks was unsurprisingly sought after. It wasn’t just footy where the juvenile Thighmaster made his presence felt – he was a dominant force in cricket too where his bowlers would often make use of the massive pitch cracks he left after coming forward when he inevitably lofted some private schoolkid into the Torrens.

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Footage of a young Shannon maintaining his now trademark

Those quads unfortunately had to choose between footy or cricket and a young Hurn eventually decided that he was best equipped to kick the cover off a leather pigskin ball for the next 15 years. The South Australian clubs feared that they could not control his power, and so Shannon was sent out west to the Eagles where he would make his mark early by deposing of Quinten Lynch’s record for the strongest leg press at the club. There’s a reason why the Q-stick left the Eagles later in his career :moustache:

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There’s only room for massive large thighed kentleman here… and I don’t wear a glove

After a 65m bomb goal with his first kick in footy, the Thighmaster has established himself as a relevant SC option since the heady days of 2009. Like the fine wines in the area where he was born, he has only gotten better with age with an average of 88.4 his worst in the last 5 seasons. Although his prolonged SC relevance and mammoth quads have revealed themselves to come with the price of losing his hair, the beautiful balding campaigner brings up 300 this week and as a premiership captain, I’m sure none of that will bother him. So, from the SC board, kudos Shannon for a decade plus of sensational service. When my grandkids ask me why sea levels started rising around this time, I’ll tell them it was because your every step caused the tectonic plates to shift :moustache:

I hope this did the great man justice Here2tellyouwhy. Let’s get into Round 20 :moustache:

ST. KILDA vs CARLTON
When we speak of KOTD (more on this maybe next week) there’s a certain amount of nuance to it. Some players merely get a sprinkle, a slight peck that often goes unnoticed. Some get a proper kiss that’s enough to cause a few melts. In the case of Jack Steele, one thing you can be certain of is that the CD flogs definitely aren’t leaving him with blue balls. 2021’s KOTD King played about 45 minutes of reasonable football against the Eagles and had fu** all influence but still tonned up on the back of “tackles”. All of that aside, Steele and the Saints love playing the Blues and if you’ve got him, I’d be confident of a very large KOTD-boosted score and hence using the VC on him. Rowan Marshall should return from COVID-enforced isolation and is also a very good chance of going well against the Blues given their lack of ruck depth. At only 464k this week, people who held onto Kmart De Goey for an extra week have quite the tantalising target.

Sometimes carrying 21 spuds can be a bit much for most, let alone players of the vintage of 57 games. Sam Walsh failed to follow on from his astronomical performance against the Pies, some attention from Jy Simpkin and an utter lack of help resulting in a subpar 81. 5 frees against was very uncharacteristic, and I’d be backing him in to respond this week. Jacob Weitering is worth a minor mention as a def POD @ 505k with a 5 round average of 110 (low score 94 in that run) while those who have held onto the shadow of Paddy Cripps this long should at least be comforted by the fact that Jack Steele is long past the point of bothering to show him any attention this week.


WESTERN BULLDOGS vs ADELAIDE
Jack Macrae is probably the most set and forget footballer with regards to SC in the comp – if the bloke doesn’t have 100% ownership at round 1 next year he’s either injured or people aren’t trying. A 146 in a great win over the Dees lifted his 5 round average over 130 and he’ll be a popular captain option again this week, as will the Bont who despite shanking the pill again for 3 quarters played a sensational last term to carry his team over the line and post 136. He’s as close to bottomed out as he’ll get at 608k so if you want him – jump on now. Josh Dunkley should return following his isolation period but a lack of match fitness may leave him a little slow, while Bailey Dale’s scoring was blunted by his own sh*te ball use plus the return of Caleb Daniel to D50, the Helmut’s 145 comfortably his best of the season as he racked up cheap stats behind the ball. I called him irrelevant last week but at 480k, he’s value IF he stays in that role. I’d be hesitant though given Bevo’s love for some magnet moving. Finally, if anyone is keen for a super POD Bailey Smith has 4 tons in his last 5 topped off with a 141 last week…

Rory Laird has been in utterly disgusting form of late and that continued against the Hawks with a matchwinning performance, 36 possessions and 2 goals culminating in a magnificent 178 when, recent form considered, should make the Mangullpig (TM) a viable captain option going forward. This week may not be the best for that given the Crows’ likely loss, but a GF week matchup with the Roos in Adelaide will make that choice tempting. No-one else at Adelaide is really important to us but I’ll give a brief shout out to the Schoenpig who is developing like he’ll be part of our teams for years to come.

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Half man, half seagull, half pig….


NORTH MELBOURNE vs GEELONG
It’s become clear at this point that absolutely nothing can stop Aaron Hall, who is actually averaging 110 for season if his sub affected 6 and concussion induced 37 against the Cats last time out are removed. His last 4 have all been over that lofty mark and there should be no shortage of chips for him and the Ziegull on Saturday at a perennially windy Blundstone Arena. Ben Cunnington will unfortunately be missing following the discovery of a testicular tumour, joining Tarryn Thomas on the sidelines who just reinforced how ******* sh*t the Blues are given he tore them up half-concussed. Todd Goldstein has rolled back the years in the last 5 weeks with 5 straight scores 113+ and although nobody really owns him, I have no doubt there’s going to be that one campaigner you play in a cashie with him. Just a heads up :moustache:

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Aaron Hall at North Melbourne training during the week

The Dangerman went nuts against the corpse of the Richmond footy club with his third massive score in 4 weeks. He’s already lifted his season average back into SP territory where it belongs and he’ll be another popular captain option this week. Tommy Stewart posted his fourth ton in a row and was joined over the 100 mark by Cam Guthrie and Tom Hawkins, both of whom were semi-popular trade ins last week. Both are still reasonably good value this week at 506k and 477k respectively, as is Isaac Smith who has been freakishly consistent since Round 11 with a low score of 88 in that time frame. His 5 round average of 99.8 actually makes him the number 6 forward over that time period.


GOLD COAST vs MELBOURNE
I fear a bit for Touk Miller’s shoulders but when you consider last week’s 115 was actually his lowest in the last 5 weeks, he’s clearly been in impeccable form. 12 tons in succession is Jack Macrae levels of consistency. Jeremy Sharp backed up his previously stellar effort with a 96 against the Lions to at least provide Touk Touk with a landing pad should he struggle under the weight of 20 other potatoes.

The Olliepig is crackling sensationally now with his performance against the Dogs more reminiscent of his mid-season hot streak, while big Max dominated the ruck duel on his way to a 5-round-best of 125. The Suns don’t really have a ruck or midfield depth, so I would expect Maxxy to go quite well this week and as such considering him as a VC/C option may be worthwhile. Christian Salem and Steven May have both simultaneously decided to go on a late season diet given neither are used to featuring in September, a distinct lack of chips and a pair of scores in the 60s a very unsatisfactory result for their owners. They’ll be hoping that the Suns mids kick a bit like Christian Petracca, the star Demon’s disposal last week appearing to be a challenge to Tim Taranto very much in the vein of “anything you can do, I can do better”. His DE of 35% blunted a run of form that had seen 3 big tons in a row.

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We’re taking it step by step with Christian...


COLLINGWOOD vs WEST COAST (aka HURN 300)
Sometimes, an event happens in a player’s career that they never really recover from. Broken legs and ACLs have ruined many a promising player, or just resulted in a former superstar returning to the field as a mere mortal. For Brodie Grundy, that event appears to be the loss of his manbun. His good form upon immediately returning from his injury has now been exposed as just being the residual powers left over from the Bun, 2 ordinary scores under the ton following now that his reserves have run out. Jordan De Goey also suffered from the ex-Manbun’s subpar performance but finished strongly to salvage an 80, while despite me plugging Jack Crisp nearly every week still nobody owns the bloke and he went off with his best score of the season. He’s ranked in the top 7 defenders for the season, both by average and the last 5 rounds and at 529k still presents a relative amount of value. Another old stager in Steele Sidebottom turned in his best performance for a while following Scott Pendlebury’s injury and those with him will be hoping he keeps this midfield role for the rest of the year. For those with the Chol, he’s only 397k.

For the Eagles – there’s only one man worth talking about this week and I already did before. Get on him. Burn your last trades if you have to. Enjoy the ride :moustache:

(Okay look NicNat has been pretty ******* good, posting his twelfth!! ton in a row and 15th this year from 18 starts. It’s hard to see him not continuing that streak against a weakened Brodie the Bunless)


ESSENDON vs SYDNEY
Has the Darcy Parish bubble burst?? The biggest SP surprise of 2021 (or maybe that’s Hall…) wasn’t alone in a frankly pretty shitful Bombers performance but a paltry 49 on the back of some pretty loose attention from Lachie Ash was his score since Round 2 – coincidentally the last time Dylan Shiel played in the side before last week… :think::think::think:

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Where do you think you’re going, Darcy?

Zach Merrett wasn’t much better, catching a flight home at quarter time to crawl to 71 after being on 39 with a couple of mins to go in the first. Jordan Ridley was the Bombers’ best from an SC point of view and continued his recent renaissance in tandem with skipper Dyson Heppell, who also posted a ton. The Bombers have also blooded Sam Durham in recent weeks and on the back of 2 solid performances, he will be a popular target for those with trades who need some solid cover.

After I roasted him for his lack of an SP impression last week, Isaac Heeney did just that and kicked 5 goals on his way to his equal best score of the season and a first raising of the bat in 8 long, rubbish weeks. Back it up Isaac and I’ll let you off in the next write up. Jake Lloyd apparently picked up a knock in a ‘contest’ which I find very hard to believe but still managed to scrape a ton, while Luke Parker’s annual hot streak continued and anyone with him has a very dangerous POD for the finals series. I wouldn’t be jumping on now @ 572k given the chance he reverts to type, plus the expected return of SP defender-turned-midfielder Callum Mills. Jordan Dawson has been in ripping form recently and a 5-round-average of 112 greatly exceeds that of the disgraceful dirty Gull – in a rare sign of CD getting something right. If only the AFL could get decisions regarding star players right – some large Chol campaigners traded in Buddy Franklin for Kmart De Goey last week and although every neutral footy fan thought he deserved a week, the desire of Gil to wipe his arse with $100 bills struck again. Corruption at its finest.


HAWTHORN vs BRISBANE
Tom Mitchell’s run of 110+ scores since the byes just barely continued despite being over that mark @ 3QT and the pig may find it a little bit tougher against the deep Lions midfield this week. The Hawks rooks were a mixed bag – Lachie Bramble was good again with 83 while Ned Reeves continued to make coaches think about what might have been if Clarko wasn’t a rookie hating campaigner of the highest order. Tyler Brockman was dreadful for those relying on him to cover a host of COVID donuts, as was Jacob Koschitzke who for some reason is still in 23.2% of teams. Ghost ships…

The magician in Dayne Zorko may need a new magic trick after his third sub 100 score in his last 4. The 65% of Coaches without him will be hoping his average form continues but he’s not alone as far as Lions mids are concerned – Jarryd Lyons has probably just had his quietest 3 week stretch of the season while a banged up Lachie Neale struggled with some attention last week and hence only managed a mediocre 64. Their resident seagull is having no such struggles – Daniel Rich has had an awesome month and is another who we really seem to have ignored all year. Number 3 defender on average for the season, number 2 for the last 5 rounds, yet only 8.6% ownership. If you need a defender and you need a POD – this is your man.


What Daniel Rich is compared to his inner spirit animal



GWS vs PORT ADELAIDE
Lachie Whitfield may be made of tissue paper. He may get injured with a light 10km/h southerly breeze. He might be one of the biggest and most recurrent burnmen in recent SC memory. But he can football. Whitfield turned the game against the Bombers last week and delivered a glorious 146 for those of us sucked in again by his SP potential. Josh Kelly also miraculously suited up for the second time this season immediately after an ankle roll yet drifted in and out of the contest, finishing on 85. Tim Taranto spent a lot of time forward, especially in the second half but still found time to be his usual clangerisitic self, a 53 his worst score of the season and part of 3 shithouse efforts in succession. The Giants should be boosted by the return of the Punchable one this week while Coaches with 107kg behemoth Keiren Briggs will be hoping the Ferrari Driver sees the light and doesn’t persist with Mummy as the lone ruck for the run home.

As the heir apparent to the Thighmaster in the AFL, Ollie Wines’ amazing form continued with a season and five-round-average firmly in SP territory and although he’s a step below the absolute top of the tree, if you’re still looking for a last mid upgrade and price is no object, you could do worse. He’s pretty PODish too at only 6.2% ownership. On the more budget side of things, Travis Boak continued his very yo-yo like form of the last 7 weeks and tonned up in his 300th and at 503k, he’d only really be worth a look if you need to fill M8. Dan Houston’s first score over 67 for 3 weeks was welcomed by his owners and he is truly at the bottom of the bargain bin @ 378k – his form has been patchy at best and downright rubbish at worst and I’d be steering well clear unless you’re desperate for someone at the price.


FREMANTLE VS RICHMOND
Sean Darcy’s knee injury seems to be causing him some grief but he will probably only need one leg this week to dominate Nankervis and Chol. His 94 was a far cry from his recent efforts but a 5-round average of 143 even including that score gives you an idea of the sort of form he’s been in. His skipper Nat Fyfe’s troublesome shoulder inevitably caught up with him, another dislocation and subsequent surgery ruling him out for the season and providing some bittersweet good news for owners of Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra, both of whom should expect to spend significantly less time shunted out to a wing. Brayshaw has been viable all season but a spike in Cerra’s scoring with Fyfe out may lift him to suitable M8 levels.

It would be hard for me to talk about Richmond without talking Shai Bolton. We’re all here, we all jumped on last week. We all thought he’d take on the extra responsibility with flying colours and average 100 for the rest of the year. We were ******* wrong. Shai took his Dusty impression a little too seriously and started lairising around the park like he actually had half the pedigree of a triple premiership winning, triple Norm Smith medallist when in reality he’s just a small chol’d little peaheart whose performance was symptomatic of everything wrong with the idea that he could ever be worth 800k. Lazy, arrogant, pathetic. You’ve done nothing in your career flog except be lucky enough to get drafted to a successful team. Get off your ******* arse and deliver.

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SC Coaches on their deathbeds wasting their final trades bringing in Shai

For other SC relevant players, Jayden Short was okay with 89 on a pretty dark day for the Tigers whose shining light was probably Matthew “Aldi Dusty” Parker, who showed more heart in one play than Shai did for the game on his way to 81 and at 141k with DPP, he’s an option for those needing some more solid bench cover.



After 19 rounds of never before seen carnage, unpredictability and all around reaming from the SC gods, we stand before the beginning of the final stretch. 4 weeks left – money, pride, and Chols on the line. How will it end up? Nobody knows. The only thing we can really be sure of is that none of the next 4 weeks will go anywhere near the way that we expect.

Best of luck to everyone with someone to play for – be it rank, cash leagues or simply the fact you’re in lockdown and there’s fu** all else to do. May the Chol be with you :moustache:
 

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Duckworthy

Club Legend
Aug 23, 2018
1,949
5,235
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
Bianchi
The mark of a reasonable quality writer is to be able to read the room and know his audience. So this week, we’ll be heading back in time to tell a story. Historical accuracy may or may not be kept to in this retelling.

1987 was a simpler time – so I’m told anyway. The AFL didn’t even exist yet, Carlton were actually good, most of this board were in their absolute boomer degen prime (except for ImissFrosty, whose parents probably hadn’t even met yet) and the only time there were no crowds at the footy was when North Melbourne were playing at home. Video games had just started to come into existence but the internet wasn’t really a thing – social media and havens like BigFooty were mere glints in the eyes of their probably pre-pubescent inventors. The concept of fantasy football didn’t even come into being until 13 years later – yet something happened in 1987 that would change the lives of many forever.

The area that we know today as the Barossa Valley is mostly famous around Australia for attracting basically every mid 20s Victorian couple in existence when the bloke realises his missus is a wine addict and the Yarra just doesn’t do it anymore. What many people forget, however, is that the reason it’s even called a “Valley” at all was due to a shockwave of seismic proportions on September 4, 1987 – the birth of one Shannon Hurn.

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Doctors in Adelaide throughout 1987 had never seen quite anything like it. We’ve all heard of babies kicking throughout the pregnancy to let mum know that they’re hanging around. Yet for Mrs. Hurn, her developing fetus was kicking almost from day 1. At every check-up ultrasound finding the young baby’s heartbeat was always a challenge yet they knew he was in there – the fuzzy signal of muscle fibres and the continual kicking, usually with his right leg, meant the baby was absolutely alive and well. Documentation of Shannon’s birth in September is a bit hazy – some suggest his thighs were already approximately 35cm in girth and there was no way he was coming out naturally. Other reports indicate that the gynaecologist present for the caesarean received a swift right boot to the head as he lifted the Thighmaster out of his mother’s abdomen.

Shannon was a typically well behaved child – he was quiet and shy and yet always attracted attention for the small seismic disturbances he created when he moved. It was no surprise at age 5 when the young lad was already squatting 250kg for reps. His ginormous quads caused some of the other, less dominant kids to fear him yet he was always first picked for footy at lunchtime – being able to pick up the pill and boot it from the sandbox on the opposite of the school straight through the big sticks was unsurprisingly sought after. It wasn’t just footy where the juvenile Thighmaster made his presence felt – he was a dominant force in cricket too where his bowlers would often make use of the massive pitch cracks he left after coming forward when he inevitably lofted some private schoolkid into the Torrens.

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Footage of a young Shannon maintaining his now trademark

Those quads unfortunately had to choose between footy or cricket and a young Hurn eventually decided that he was best equipped to kick the cover off a leather pigskin ball for the next 15 years. The South Australian clubs feared that they could not control his power, and so Shannon was sent out west to the Eagles where he would make his mark early by deposing of Quinten Lynch’s record for the strongest leg press at the club. There’s a reason why the Q-stick left the Eagles later in his career :moustache:

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There’s only room for massive large thighed kentleman here… and I don’t wear a glove

After a 65m bomb goal with his first kick in footy, the Thighmaster has established himself as a relevant SC option since the heady days of 2009. Like the fine wines in the area where he was born, he has only gotten better with age with an average of 88.4 his worst in the last 5 seasons. Although his prolonged SC relevance and mammoth quads have revealed themselves to come with the price of losing his hair, the beautiful balding campaigner brings up 300 this week and as a premiership captain, I’m sure none of that will bother him. So, from the SC board, kudos Shannon for a decade plus of sensational service. When my grandkids ask me why sea levels started rising around this time, I’ll tell them it was because your every step caused the tectonic plates to shift :moustache:

I hope this did the great man justice Here2tellyouwhy. Let’s get into Round 20 :moustache:

ST. KILDA vs CARLTON
When we speak of KOTD (more on this maybe next week) there’s a certain amount of nuance to it. Some players merely get a sprinkle, a slight peck that often goes unnoticed. Some get a proper kiss that’s enough to cause a few melts. In the case of Jack Steele, one thing you can be certain of is that the CD flogs definitely aren’t leaving him with blue balls. 2021’s KOTD King played about 45 minutes of reasonable football against the Eagles and had fu** all influence but still tonned up on the back of “tackles”. All of that aside, Steele and the Saints love playing the Blues and if you’ve got him, I’d be confident of a very large KOTD-boosted score and hence using the VC on him. Rowan Marshall should return from COVID-enforced isolation and is also a very good chance of going well against the Blues given their lack of ruck depth. At only 464k this week, people who held onto Kmart De Goey for an extra week have quite the tantalising target.

Sometimes carrying 21 spuds can be a bit much for most, let alone players of the vintage of 57 games. Sam Walsh failed to follow on from his astronomical performance against the Pies, some attention from Jy Simpkin and an utter lack of help resulting in a subpar 81. 5 frees against was very uncharacteristic, and I’d be backing him in to respond this week. Jacob Weitering is worth a minor mention as a def POD @ 505k with a 5 round average of 110 (low score 94 in that run) while those who have held onto the shadow of Paddy Cripps this long should at least be comforted by the fact that Jack Steele is long past the point of bothering to show him any attention this week.


WESTERN BULLDOGS vs ADELAIDE
Jack Macrae is probably the most set and forget footballer with regards to SC in the comp – if the bloke doesn’t have 100% ownership at round 1 next year he’s either injured or people aren’t trying. A 146 in a great win over the Dees lifted his 5 round average over 130 and he’ll be a popular captain option again this week, as will the Bont who despite shanking the pill again for 3 quarters played a sensational last term to carry his team over the line and post 136. He’s as close to bottomed out as he’ll get at 608k so if you want him – jump on now. Josh Dunkley should return following his isolation period but a lack of match fitness may leave him a little slow, while Bailey Dale’s scoring was blunted by his own sh*te ball use plus the return of Caleb Daniel to D50, the Helmut’s 145 comfortably his best of the season as he racked up cheap stats behind the ball. I called him irrelevant last week but at 480k, he’s value IF he stays in that role. I’d be hesitant though given Bevo’s love for some magnet moving. Finally, if anyone is keen for a super POD Bailey Smith has 4 tons in his last 5 topped off with a 141 last week…

Rory Laird has been in utterly disgusting form of late and that continued against the Hawks with a matchwinning performance, 36 possessions and 2 goals culminating in a magnificent 178 when, recent form considered, should make the Mangullpig (TM) a viable captain option going forward. This week may not be the best for that given the Crows’ likely loss, but a GF week matchup with the Roos in Adelaide will make that choice tempting. No-one else at Adelaide is really important to us but I’ll give a brief shout out to the Schoenpig who is developing like he’ll be part of our teams for years to come.

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Half man, half seagull, half pig….


NORTH MELBOURNE vs GEELONG
It’s become clear at this point that absolutely nothing can stop Aaron Hall, who is actually averaging 110 for season if his sub affected 6 and concussion induced 37 against the Cats last time out are removed. His last 4 have all been over that lofty mark and there should be no shortage of chips for him and the Ziegull on Saturday at a perennially windy Blundstone Arena. Ben Cunnington will unfortunately be missing following the discovery of a testicular tumour, joining Tarryn Thomas on the sidelines who just reinforced how ******* sh*t the Blues are given he tore them up half-concussed. Todd Goldstein has rolled back the years in the last 5 weeks with 5 straight scores 113+ and although nobody really owns him, I have no doubt there’s going to be that one campaigner you play in a cashie with him. Just a heads up :moustache:

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Aaron Hall at North Melbourne training during the week

The Dangerman went nuts against the corpse of the Richmond footy club with his third massive score in 4 weeks. He’s already lifted his season average back into SP territory where it belongs and he’ll be another popular captain option this week. Tommy Stewart posted his fourth ton in a row and was joined over the 100 mark by Cam Guthrie and Tom Hawkins, both of whom were semi-popular trade ins last week. Both are still reasonably good value this week at 506k and 477k respectively, as is Isaac Smith who has been freakishly consistent since Round 11 with a low score of 88 in that time frame. His 5 round average of 99.8 actually makes him the number 6 forward over that time period.


GOLD COAST vs MELBOURNE
I fear a bit for Touk Miller’s shoulders but when you consider last week’s 115 was actually his lowest in the last 5 weeks, he’s clearly been in impeccable form. 12 tons in succession is Jack Macrae levels of consistency. Jeremy Sharp backed up his previously stellar effort with a 96 against the Lions to at least provide Touk Touk with a landing pad should he struggle under the weight of 20 other potatoes.

The Olliepig is crackling sensationally now with his performance against the Dogs more reminiscent of his mid-season hot streak, while big Max dominated the ruck duel on his way to a 5-round-best of 125. The Suns don’t really have a ruck or midfield depth, so I would expect Maxxy to go quite well this week and as such considering him as a VC/C option may be worthwhile. Christian Salem and Steven May have both simultaneously decided to go on a late season diet given neither are used to featuring in September, a distinct lack of chips and a pair of scores in the 60s a very unsatisfactory result for their owners. They’ll be hoping that the Suns mids kick a bit like Christian Petracca, the star Demon’s disposal last week appearing to be a challenge to Tim Taranto very much in the vein of “anything you can do, I can do better”. His DE of 35% blunted a run of form that had seen 3 big tons in a row.

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We’re taking it step by step with Christian...


COLLINGWOOD vs WEST COAST (aka HURN 300)
Sometimes, an event happens in a player’s career that they never really recover from. Broken legs and ACLs have ruined many a promising player, or just resulted in a former superstar returning to the field as a mere mortal. For Brodie Grundy, that event appears to be the loss of his manbun. His good form upon immediately returning from his injury has now been exposed as just being the residual powers left over from the Bun, 2 ordinary scores under the ton following now that his reserves have run out. Jordan De Goey also suffered from the ex-Manbun’s subpar performance but finished strongly to salvage an 80, while despite me plugging Jack Crisp nearly every week still nobody owns the bloke and he went off with his best score of the season. He’s ranked in the top 7 defenders for the season, both by average and the last 5 rounds and at 529k still presents a relative amount of value. Another old stager in Steele Sidebottom turned in his best performance for a while following Scott Pendlebury’s injury and those with him will be hoping he keeps this midfield role for the rest of the year. For those with the Chol, he’s only 397k.

For the Eagles – there’s only one man worth talking about this week and I already did before. Get on him. Burn your last trades if you have to. Enjoy the ride :moustache:

(Okay look NicNat has been pretty ******* good, posting his twelfth!! ton in a row and 15th this year from 18 starts. It’s hard to see him not continuing that streak against a weakened Brodie the Bunless)


ESSENDON vs SYDNEY
Has the Darcy Parish bubble burst?? The biggest SP surprise of 2021 (or maybe that’s Hall…) wasn’t alone in a frankly pretty shitful Bombers performance but a paltry 49 on the back of some pretty loose attention from Lachie Ash was his score since Round 2 – coincidentally the last time Dylan Shiel played in the side before last week… :think::think::think:

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Where do you think you’re going, Darcy?

Zach Merrett wasn’t much better, catching a flight home at quarter time to crawl to 71 after being on 39 with a couple of mins to go in the first. Jordan Ridley was the Bombers’ best from an SC point of view and continued his recent renaissance in tandem with skipper Dyson Heppell, who also posted a ton. The Bombers have also blooded Sam Durham in recent weeks and on the back of 2 solid performances, he will be a popular target for those with trades who need some solid cover.

After I roasted him for his lack of an SP impression last week, Isaac Heeney did just that and kicked 5 goals on his way to his equal best score of the season and a first raising of the bat in 8 long, rubbish weeks. Back it up Isaac and I’ll let you off in the next write up. Jake Lloyd apparently picked up a knock in a ‘contest’ which I find very hard to believe but still managed to scrape a ton, while Luke Parker’s annual hot streak continued and anyone with him has a very dangerous POD for the finals series. I wouldn’t be jumping on now @ 572k given the chance he reverts to type, plus the expected return of SP defender-turned-midfielder Callum Mills. Jordan Dawson has been in ripping form recently and a 5-round-average of 112 greatly exceeds that of the disgraceful dirty Gull – in a rare sign of CD getting something right. If only the AFL could get decisions regarding star players right – some large Chol campaigners traded in Buddy Franklin for Kmart De Goey last week and although every neutral footy fan thought he deserved a week, the desire of Gil to wipe his arse with $100 bills struck again. Corruption at its finest.


HAWTHORN vs BRISBANE
Tom Mitchell’s run of 110+ scores since the byes just barely continued despite being over that mark @ 3QT and the pig may find it a little bit tougher against the deep Lions midfield this week. The Hawks rooks were a mixed bag – Lachie Bramble was good again with 83 while Ned Reeves continued to make coaches think about what might have been if Clarko wasn’t a rookie hating campaigner of the highest order. Tyler Brockman was dreadful for those relying on him to cover a host of COVID donuts, as was Jacob Koschitzke who for some reason is still in 23.2% of teams. Ghost ships…

The magician in Dayne Zorko may need a new magic trick after his third sub 100 score in his last 4. The 65% of Coaches without him will be hoping his average form continues but he’s not alone as far as Lions mids are concerned – Jarryd Lyons has probably just had his quietest 3 week stretch of the season while a banged up Lachie Neale struggled with some attention last week and hence only managed a mediocre 64. Their resident seagull is having no such struggles – Daniel Rich has had an awesome month and is another who we really seem to have ignored all year. Number 3 defender on average for the season, number 2 for the last 5 rounds, yet only 8.6% ownership. If you need a defender and you need a POD – this is your man.


What Daniel Rich is compared to his inner spirit animal



GWS vs PORT ADELAIDE
Lachie Whitfield may be made of tissue paper. He may get injured with a light 10km/h southerly breeze. He might be one of the biggest and most recurrent burnmen in recent SC memory. But he can football. Whitfield turned the game against the Bombers last week and delivered a glorious 146 for those of us sucked in again by his SP potential. Josh Kelly also miraculously suited up for the second time this season immediately after an ankle roll yet drifted in and out of the contest, finishing on 85. Tim Taranto spent a lot of time forward, especially in the second half but still found time to be his usual clangerisitic self, a 53 his worst score of the season and part of 3 shithouse efforts in succession. The Giants should be boosted by the return of the Punchable one this week while Coaches with 107kg behemoth Keiren Briggs will be hoping the Ferrari Driver sees the light and doesn’t persist with Mummy as the lone ruck for the run home.

As the heir apparent to the Thighmaster in the AFL, Ollie Wines’ amazing form continued with a season and five-round-average firmly in SP territory and although he’s a step below the absolute top of the tree, if you’re still looking for a last mid upgrade and price is no object, you could do worse. He’s pretty PODish too at only 6.2% ownership. On the more budget side of things, Travis Boak continued his very yo-yo like form of the last 7 weeks and tonned up in his 300th and at 503k, he’d only really be worth a look if you need to fill M8. Dan Houston’s first score over 67 for 3 weeks was welcomed by his owners and he is truly at the bottom of the bargain bin @ 378k – his form has been patchy at best and downright rubbish at worst and I’d be steering well clear unless you’re desperate for someone at the price.


FREMANTLE VS RICHMOND
Sean Darcy’s knee injury seems to be causing him some grief but he will probably only need one leg this week to dominate Nankervis and Chol. His 94 was a far cry from his recent efforts but a 5-round average of 143 even including that score gives you an idea of the sort of form he’s been in. His skipper Nat Fyfe’s troublesome shoulder inevitably caught up with him, another dislocation and subsequent surgery ruling him out for the season and providing some bittersweet good news for owners of Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra, both of whom should expect to spend significantly less time shunted out to a wing. Brayshaw has been viable all season but a spike in Cerra’s scoring with Fyfe out may lift him to suitable M8 levels.

It would be hard for me to talk about Richmond without talking Shai Bolton. We’re all here, we all jumped on last week. We all thought he’d take on the extra responsibility with flying colours and average 100 for the rest of the year. We were ******* wrong. Shai took his Dusty impression a little too seriously and started lairising around the park like he actually had half the pedigree of a triple premiership winning, triple Norm Smith medallist when in reality he’s just a small chol’d little peaheart whose performance was symptomatic of everything wrong with the idea that he could ever be worth 800k. Lazy, arrogant, pathetic. You’ve done nothing in your career flog except be lucky enough to get drafted to a successful team. Get off your ******* arse and deliver.

View attachment 1190147
SC Coaches on their deathbeds wasting their final trades bringing in Shai

For other SC relevant players, Jayden Short was okay with 89 on a pretty dark day for the Tigers whose shining light was probably Matthew “Aldi Dusty” Parker, who showed more heart in one play than Shai did for the game on his way to 81 and at 141k with DPP, he’s an option for those needing some more solid bench cover.



After 19 rounds of never before seen carnage, unpredictability and all around reaming from the SC gods, we stand before the beginning of the final stretch. 4 weeks left – money, pride, and Chols on the line. How will it end up? Nobody knows. The only thing we can really be sure of is that none of the next 4 weeks will go anywhere near the way that we expect.

Best of luck to everyone with someone to play for – be it rank, cash leagues or simply the fact you’re in lockdown and there’s fu** all else to do. May the Chol be with you :moustache:
Very impressive


impressed.gif
 

Here2tellyouwhy

SA GREAT
Sep 3, 2005
33,693
95,705
Adelaide
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Baghdad Bombers
The mark of a reasonable quality writer is to be able to read the room and know his audience. So this week, we’ll be heading back in time to tell a story. Historical accuracy may or may not be kept to in this retelling.

1987 was a simpler time – so I’m told anyway. The AFL didn’t even exist yet, Carlton were actually good, most of this board were in their absolute boomer degen prime (except for ImissFrosty, whose parents probably hadn’t even met yet) and the only time there were no crowds at the footy was when North Melbourne were playing at home. Video games had just started to come into existence but the internet wasn’t really a thing – social media and havens like BigFooty were mere glints in the eyes of their probably pre-pubescent inventors. The concept of fantasy football didn’t even come into being until 13 years later – yet something happened in 1987 that would change the lives of many forever.

The area that we know today as the Barossa Valley is mostly famous around Australia for attracting basically every mid 20s Victorian couple in existence when the bloke realises his missus is a wine addict and the Yarra just doesn’t do it anymore. What many people forget, however, is that the reason it’s even called a “Valley” at all was due to a shockwave of seismic proportions on September 4, 1987 – the birth of one Shannon Hurn.

View attachment 1190135

Doctors in Adelaide throughout 1987 had never seen quite anything like it. We’ve all heard of babies kicking throughout the pregnancy to let mum know that they’re hanging around. Yet for Mrs. Hurn, her developing fetus was kicking almost from day 1. At every check-up ultrasound finding the young baby’s heartbeat was always a challenge yet they knew he was in there – the fuzzy signal of muscle fibres and the continual kicking, usually with his right leg, meant the baby was absolutely alive and well. Documentation of Shannon’s birth in September is a bit hazy – some suggest his thighs were already approximately 35cm in girth and there was no way he was coming out naturally. Other reports indicate that the gynaecologist present for the caesarean received a swift right boot to the head as he lifted the Thighmaster out of his mother’s abdomen.

Shannon was a typically well behaved child – he was quiet and shy and yet always attracted attention for the small seismic disturbances he created when he moved. It was no surprise at age 5 when the young lad was already squatting 250kg for reps. His ginormous quads caused some of the other, less dominant kids to fear him yet he was always first picked for footy at lunchtime – being able to pick up the pill and boot it from the sandbox on the opposite of the school straight through the big sticks was unsurprisingly sought after. It wasn’t just footy where the juvenile Thighmaster made his presence felt – he was a dominant force in cricket too where his bowlers would often make use of the massive pitch cracks he left after coming forward when he inevitably lofted some private schoolkid into the Torrens.

View attachment 1190137
Footage of a young Shannon maintaining his now trademark

Those quads unfortunately had to choose between footy or cricket and a young Hurn eventually decided that he was best equipped to kick the cover off a leather pigskin ball for the next 15 years. The South Australian clubs feared that they could not control his power, and so Shannon was sent out west to the Eagles where he would make his mark early by deposing of Quinten Lynch’s record for the strongest leg press at the club. There’s a reason why the Q-stick left the Eagles later in his career :moustache:

View attachment 1190138
There’s only room for massive large thighed kentleman here… and I don’t wear a glove

After a 65m bomb goal with his first kick in footy, the Thighmaster has established himself as a relevant SC option since the heady days of 2009. Like the fine wines in the area where he was born, he has only gotten better with age with an average of 88.4 his worst in the last 5 seasons. Although his prolonged SC relevance and mammoth quads have revealed themselves to come with the price of losing his hair, the beautiful balding campaigner brings up 300 this week and as a premiership captain, I’m sure none of that will bother him. So, from the SC board, kudos Shannon for a decade plus of sensational service. When my grandkids ask me why sea levels started rising around this time, I’ll tell them it was because your every step caused the tectonic plates to shift :moustache:

I hope this did the great man justice Here2tellyouwhy. Let’s get into Round 20 :moustache:

ST. KILDA vs CARLTON
When we speak of KOTD (more on this maybe next week) there’s a certain amount of nuance to it. Some players merely get a sprinkle, a slight peck that often goes unnoticed. Some get a proper kiss that’s enough to cause a few melts. In the case of Jack Steele, one thing you can be certain of is that the CD flogs definitely aren’t leaving him with blue balls. 2021’s KOTD King played about 45 minutes of reasonable football against the Eagles and had fu** all influence but still tonned up on the back of “tackles”. All of that aside, Steele and the Saints love playing the Blues and if you’ve got him, I’d be confident of a very large KOTD-boosted score and hence using the VC on him. Rowan Marshall should return from COVID-enforced isolation and is also a very good chance of going well against the Blues given their lack of ruck depth. At only 464k this week, people who held onto Kmart De Goey for an extra week have quite the tantalising target.

Sometimes carrying 21 spuds can be a bit much for most, let alone players of the vintage of 57 games. Sam Walsh failed to follow on from his astronomical performance against the Pies, some attention from Jy Simpkin and an utter lack of help resulting in a subpar 81. 5 frees against was very uncharacteristic, and I’d be backing him in to respond this week. Jacob Weitering is worth a minor mention as a def POD @ 505k with a 5 round average of 110 (low score 94 in that run) while those who have held onto the shadow of Paddy Cripps this long should at least be comforted by the fact that Jack Steele is long past the point of bothering to show him any attention this week.


WESTERN BULLDOGS vs ADELAIDE
Jack Macrae is probably the most set and forget footballer with regards to SC in the comp – if the bloke doesn’t have 100% ownership at round 1 next year he’s either injured or people aren’t trying. A 146 in a great win over the Dees lifted his 5 round average over 130 and he’ll be a popular captain option again this week, as will the Bont who despite shanking the pill again for 3 quarters played a sensational last term to carry his team over the line and post 136. He’s as close to bottomed out as he’ll get at 608k so if you want him – jump on now. Josh Dunkley should return following his isolation period but a lack of match fitness may leave him a little slow, while Bailey Dale’s scoring was blunted by his own sh*te ball use plus the return of Caleb Daniel to D50, the Helmut’s 145 comfortably his best of the season as he racked up cheap stats behind the ball. I called him irrelevant last week but at 480k, he’s value IF he stays in that role. I’d be hesitant though given Bevo’s love for some magnet moving. Finally, if anyone is keen for a super POD Bailey Smith has 4 tons in his last 5 topped off with a 141 last week…

Rory Laird has been in utterly disgusting form of late and that continued against the Hawks with a matchwinning performance, 36 possessions and 2 goals culminating in a magnificent 178 when, recent form considered, should make the Mangullpig (TM) a viable captain option going forward. This week may not be the best for that given the Crows’ likely loss, but a GF week matchup with the Roos in Adelaide will make that choice tempting. No-one else at Adelaide is really important to us but I’ll give a brief shout out to the Schoenpig who is developing like he’ll be part of our teams for years to come.

View attachment 1190139
Half man, half seagull, half pig….


NORTH MELBOURNE vs GEELONG
It’s become clear at this point that absolutely nothing can stop Aaron Hall, who is actually averaging 110 for season if his sub affected 6 and concussion induced 37 against the Cats last time out are removed. His last 4 have all been over that lofty mark and there should be no shortage of chips for him and the Ziegull on Saturday at a perennially windy Blundstone Arena. Ben Cunnington will unfortunately be missing following the discovery of a testicular tumour, joining Tarryn Thomas on the sidelines who just reinforced how ******* sh*t the Blues are given he tore them up half-concussed. Todd Goldstein has rolled back the years in the last 5 weeks with 5 straight scores 113+ and although nobody really owns him, I have no doubt there’s going to be that one campaigner you play in a cashie with him. Just a heads up :moustache:

View attachment 1190140
Aaron Hall at North Melbourne training during the week

The Dangerman went nuts against the corpse of the Richmond footy club with his third massive score in 4 weeks. He’s already lifted his season average back into SP territory where it belongs and he’ll be another popular captain option this week. Tommy Stewart posted his fourth ton in a row and was joined over the 100 mark by Cam Guthrie and Tom Hawkins, both of whom were semi-popular trade ins last week. Both are still reasonably good value this week at 506k and 477k respectively, as is Isaac Smith who has been freakishly consistent since Round 11 with a low score of 88 in that time frame. His 5 round average of 99.8 actually makes him the number 6 forward over that time period.


GOLD COAST vs MELBOURNE
I fear a bit for Touk Miller’s shoulders but when you consider last week’s 115 was actually his lowest in the last 5 weeks, he’s clearly been in impeccable form. 12 tons in succession is Jack Macrae levels of consistency. Jeremy Sharp backed up his previously stellar effort with a 96 against the Lions to at least provide Touk Touk with a landing pad should he struggle under the weight of 20 other potatoes.

The Olliepig is crackling sensationally now with his performance against the Dogs more reminiscent of his mid-season hot streak, while big Max dominated the ruck duel on his way to a 5-round-best of 125. The Suns don’t really have a ruck or midfield depth, so I would expect Maxxy to go quite well this week and as such considering him as a VC/C option may be worthwhile. Christian Salem and Steven May have both simultaneously decided to go on a late season diet given neither are used to featuring in September, a distinct lack of chips and a pair of scores in the 60s a very unsatisfactory result for their owners. They’ll be hoping that the Suns mids kick a bit like Christian Petracca, the star Demon’s disposal last week appearing to be a challenge to Tim Taranto very much in the vein of “anything you can do, I can do better”. His DE of 35% blunted a run of form that had seen 3 big tons in a row.

View attachment 1190143
We’re taking it step by step with Christian...


COLLINGWOOD vs WEST COAST (aka HURN 300)
Sometimes, an event happens in a player’s career that they never really recover from. Broken legs and ACLs have ruined many a promising player, or just resulted in a former superstar returning to the field as a mere mortal. For Brodie Grundy, that event appears to be the loss of his manbun. His good form upon immediately returning from his injury has now been exposed as just being the residual powers left over from the Bun, 2 ordinary scores under the ton following now that his reserves have run out. Jordan De Goey also suffered from the ex-Manbun’s subpar performance but finished strongly to salvage an 80, while despite me plugging Jack Crisp nearly every week still nobody owns the bloke and he went off with his best score of the season. He’s ranked in the top 7 defenders for the season, both by average and the last 5 rounds and at 529k still presents a relative amount of value. Another old stager in Steele Sidebottom turned in his best performance for a while following Scott Pendlebury’s injury and those with him will be hoping he keeps this midfield role for the rest of the year. For those with the Chol, he’s only 397k.

For the Eagles – there’s only one man worth talking about this week and I already did before. Get on him. Burn your last trades if you have to. Enjoy the ride :moustache:

(Okay look NicNat has been pretty ******* good, posting his twelfth!! ton in a row and 15th this year from 18 starts. It’s hard to see him not continuing that streak against a weakened Brodie the Bunless)


ESSENDON vs SYDNEY
Has the Darcy Parish bubble burst?? The biggest SP surprise of 2021 (or maybe that’s Hall…) wasn’t alone in a frankly pretty shitful Bombers performance but a paltry 49 on the back of some pretty loose attention from Lachie Ash was his score since Round 2 – coincidentally the last time Dylan Shiel played in the side before last week… :think::think::think:

View attachment 1190146
Where do you think you’re going, Darcy?

Zach Merrett wasn’t much better, catching a flight home at quarter time to crawl to 71 after being on 39 with a couple of mins to go in the first. Jordan Ridley was the Bombers’ best from an SC point of view and continued his recent renaissance in tandem with skipper Dyson Heppell, who also posted a ton. The Bombers have also blooded Sam Durham in recent weeks and on the back of 2 solid performances, he will be a popular target for those with trades who need some solid cover.

After I roasted him for his lack of an SP impression last week, Isaac Heeney did just that and kicked 5 goals on his way to his equal best score of the season and a first raising of the bat in 8 long, rubbish weeks. Back it up Isaac and I’ll let you off in the next write up. Jake Lloyd apparently picked up a knock in a ‘contest’ which I find very hard to believe but still managed to scrape a ton, while Luke Parker’s annual hot streak continued and anyone with him has a very dangerous POD for the finals series. I wouldn’t be jumping on now @ 572k given the chance he reverts to type, plus the expected return of SP defender-turned-midfielder Callum Mills. Jordan Dawson has been in ripping form recently and a 5-round-average of 112 greatly exceeds that of the disgraceful dirty Gull – in a rare sign of CD getting something right. If only the AFL could get decisions regarding star players right – some large Chol campaigners traded in Buddy Franklin for Kmart De Goey last week and although every neutral footy fan thought he deserved a week, the desire of Gil to wipe his arse with $100 bills struck again. Corruption at its finest.


HAWTHORN vs BRISBANE
Tom Mitchell’s run of 110+ scores since the byes just barely continued despite being over that mark @ 3QT and the pig may find it a little bit tougher against the deep Lions midfield this week. The Hawks rooks were a mixed bag – Lachie Bramble was good again with 83 while Ned Reeves continued to make coaches think about what might have been if Clarko wasn’t a rookie hating campaigner of the highest order. Tyler Brockman was dreadful for those relying on him to cover a host of COVID donuts, as was Jacob Koschitzke who for some reason is still in 23.2% of teams. Ghost ships…

The magician in Dayne Zorko may need a new magic trick after his third sub 100 score in his last 4. The 65% of Coaches without him will be hoping his average form continues but he’s not alone as far as Lions mids are concerned – Jarryd Lyons has probably just had his quietest 3 week stretch of the season while a banged up Lachie Neale struggled with some attention last week and hence only managed a mediocre 64. Their resident seagull is having no such struggles – Daniel Rich has had an awesome month and is another who we really seem to have ignored all year. Number 3 defender on average for the season, number 2 for the last 5 rounds, yet only 8.6% ownership. If you need a defender and you need a POD – this is your man.


What Daniel Rich is compared to his inner spirit animal



GWS vs PORT ADELAIDE
Lachie Whitfield may be made of tissue paper. He may get injured with a light 10km/h southerly breeze. He might be one of the biggest and most recurrent burnmen in recent SC memory. But he can football. Whitfield turned the game against the Bombers last week and delivered a glorious 146 for those of us sucked in again by his SP potential. Josh Kelly also miraculously suited up for the second time this season immediately after an ankle roll yet drifted in and out of the contest, finishing on 85. Tim Taranto spent a lot of time forward, especially in the second half but still found time to be his usual clangerisitic self, a 53 his worst score of the season and part of 3 shithouse efforts in succession. The Giants should be boosted by the return of the Punchable one this week while Coaches with 107kg behemoth Keiren Briggs will be hoping the Ferrari Driver sees the light and doesn’t persist with Mummy as the lone ruck for the run home.

As the heir apparent to the Thighmaster in the AFL, Ollie Wines’ amazing form continued with a season and five-round-average firmly in SP territory and although he’s a step below the absolute top of the tree, if you’re still looking for a last mid upgrade and price is no object, you could do worse. He’s pretty PODish too at only 6.2% ownership. On the more budget side of things, Travis Boak continued his very yo-yo like form of the last 7 weeks and tonned up in his 300th and at 503k, he’d only really be worth a look if you need to fill M8. Dan Houston’s first score over 67 for 3 weeks was welcomed by his owners and he is truly at the bottom of the bargain bin @ 378k – his form has been patchy at best and downright rubbish at worst and I’d be steering well clear unless you’re desperate for someone at the price.


FREMANTLE VS RICHMOND
Sean Darcy’s knee injury seems to be causing him some grief but he will probably only need one leg this week to dominate Nankervis and Chol. His 94 was a far cry from his recent efforts but a 5-round average of 143 even including that score gives you an idea of the sort of form he’s been in. His skipper Nat Fyfe’s troublesome shoulder inevitably caught up with him, another dislocation and subsequent surgery ruling him out for the season and providing some bittersweet good news for owners of Andy Brayshaw and Adam Cerra, both of whom should expect to spend significantly less time shunted out to a wing. Brayshaw has been viable all season but a spike in Cerra’s scoring with Fyfe out may lift him to suitable M8 levels.

It would be hard for me to talk about Richmond without talking Shai Bolton. We’re all here, we all jumped on last week. We all thought he’d take on the extra responsibility with flying colours and average 100 for the rest of the year. We were ******* wrong. Shai took his Dusty impression a little too seriously and started lairising around the park like he actually had half the pedigree of a triple premiership winning, triple Norm Smith medallist when in reality he’s just a small chol’d little peaheart whose performance was symptomatic of everything wrong with the idea that he could ever be worth 800k. Lazy, arrogant, pathetic. You’ve done nothing in your career flog except be lucky enough to get drafted to a successful team. Get off your ******* arse and deliver.

View attachment 1190147
SC Coaches on their deathbeds wasting their final trades bringing in Shai

For other SC relevant players, Jayden Short was okay with 89 on a pretty dark day for the Tigers whose shining light was probably Matthew “Aldi Dusty” Parker, who showed more heart in one play than Shai did for the game on his way to 81 and at 141k with DPP, he’s an option for those needing some more solid bench cover.



After 19 rounds of never before seen carnage, unpredictability and all around reaming from the SC gods, we stand before the beginning of the final stretch. 4 weeks left – money, pride, and Chols on the line. How will it end up? Nobody knows. The only thing we can really be sure of is that none of the next 4 weeks will go anywhere near the way that we expect.

Best of luck to everyone with someone to play for – be it rank, cash leagues or simply the fact you’re in lockdown and there’s fu** all else to do. May the Chol be with you :moustache:
Back in 5
 

Here2tellyouwhy

SA GREAT
Sep 3, 2005
33,693
95,705
Adelaide
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Baghdad Bombers
Ok so as you already know I'm a bit of a Cray Cray loose campaigner when it comes to Supercoach so in honour of Thighmaster quadtastic SC legend Shannon Hurn I'm trying something.
A whole new way of destroying what's left of my SC season. Rewriting the history books.

Anyway it's actually fairly lame.
But anyways may I present to you the reverse loophole.

It's where you loophole your vice captain with a non playing player from your bench so you can lock everyone's favourite DEF POD they wish they owned and can only dream about having his sexy quad delivered points in their pathetic teams in as straight up Captain

Here is this brilliance in visual form

Screenshot_20210729-150404.png


Ok that's all I got kenties.

Hurn 145. 290 in my team :moustache:
 

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fuic08

Premiership Player
Jan 30, 2017
3,590
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Tarryn Thomas delayed concussion is my carnage
 
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