VelvetSledge
Moderator
- May 24, 2007
- 17,477
- 35,252
- AFL Club
- Essendon
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- Liverpool FC, Melbourne Storm
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- #1
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $3.35
CARLTANK BLOOZ: $1.33
TOP 3 SUPERCOACH SCORERS FROM ROUND 22:
ESSENDON BOMBERS: Z. Merrett (132), Stokes (106), Zaharakis (106)
CARLTANK BLOOZ: Cripps (153), Gibbs (124), Docherty (110)
ESSENDON BOMBERS 7.11 53 def. by WESTERN BULLDOGS 14.9 93
Etihad Stadium - Crowd 25,308
BESTS: Z. Merrett, Zaharakis, Stokes, Kelly
GOALS: Daniher 2, Cooney, Leuenberger, Z. Merrett, J. Merrett, Fantasia
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CAAAAARLTON BLUES 11.12 78 def. MELBOURNE DEMONS 7.16 58
MCG - Sticks Kernahan and the Mt Buller Social Club
BESTS: Gibbs, Cripps, Simpson, Docherty
GOALS: Buckley 3, Graham 2, Everitt, Jones, Wright, Phillips, Sumner, Cripps
ESSENDON BOMBERS:
COACH: John Worsfold
FB: Matt Dea - Michael Hartley - Martin Gleeson
HB: Brendon Goddard (C) - Mitch Brown - Patrick Ambrose
C: David Zaharakis - Zach Merrett - Jake Long
HF: James Kelly - Jayden Laverde - Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti
F: Darcy Parish - Joe Daniher - Jackson Merrett
R: Matthew Leuenberger - Craig Bird - Courtenay Dempsey
INT: Kyle Langford - Nick Kommer - Conor McKenna - Shaun McKernan
EMG: Will Hams - Jonathan Simpkin - Mark Jamar
IN: Goddard, Dempsey, McKernan, Kommer
OUT: Jamar (Omit), Fantasia (Groin), Cooney (Retired), Stokes (Retired)
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CARLTANK BLOOZ:
COACH: That Damien Oliver lookin' jockey bloke
FB: Lachie Plowman - Sam Rowe - Jacob Weitering
HB: Zach Tuohy - Simon White - Sam Docherty
C: Kade Simpson - Patrick Cripps - Dale Thomas
HF: Liam Sumner - Liam Jones - Nick Graham
F: Dylan Buckley - Levi Casboult - Andrew Phillips
R: Matthew Kreuzer - Bryce Gibbs - Matthew Wright
INT: Sam Kerridge - Dennis Armfield - David Cuningham - Jack Silvagni
EMG: Andrejs Everitt - Jason Tutt - Blaine Boekhorst
IN: Kerridge, Silvagni
OUT: Everitt (Omit), E. Curnow (Knee)
It seems as though the farewell tour rolls on through Tullamarine this week, with three players heavily rumoured to be on their way out of the True Value Solar Centre names in the senior side in a fair few surprises. Much-maligned half-back Courtenay Dempsey is back into the side, much to the raising of many an eyebrow, but when one considers how frustrating he has been to watch this season, it wouldn't be overly surprising to see him depart Essendon. Much to the fanfare of many posters on this site. L8r m8. Shaun McKernan, once the poster boy of this board (circa 2015), has had a nightmare 2016, with some brilliant VFL not exactly translating to strong AFL form. In fact, it's been so bad, that Courtney Johns was seen snooping around the HPC wondering if he could get a gig. Bugger off Courtney, ya dreadlocked git. It's been a fun two years with Smack, but it seriously seems like a foregone conclusion that he won't be in red and black next year, unless it's with a big blue V on the chest. Cheers for the memories, Smack. Nick Kommer, the forgotten man, the wild child, once matt-haired, black toothed, cannibalistic, murderous, death-inducing psycho small forward who eats kittens for breakfast, is also in for what would seem like his final game in the AFL. After overcoming some serious knee injuries over multiple years, it seems like his journey is coming to an end with a farewell against the old foe. I would say eat em alive, Kommsy... But I'm afraid that he probably would.
Leading the outs for the Bombers is Mathew Stokes and Adam Cooney, who have both retired on 200 and 250 games respectively. Champions of the game, with a premiership winner (x2) and a Brownlow Medalist leaving the club, we should all be thankful for the contribution these two left at our club. Mark Jamar, the big Russian, will quietly fade into retirement again, heading back to the HPC as our full-time ruck coach, and again, we have to be thankful for the somewhat limited contribution he gave to us on the field... But the enormous contribution he has behind the scenes. One of our most improved players of 2016, Orazio Fantasia, will unfortunately miss the final round of the year with a minor groin complaint. No matter, because he's been one of the reasons why this season has actually been bearable. Two wins, plenty of lows, and plenty of highs. Oars Fantasia might well be one of the highest of those highs.
Kerridge is s**t, Silvagni is s**t, they're replacing Everitt who is even shitter and Curnow who isn't all that s**t but his hair looks like alfalfa so he's also s**t.
**** Carlton.
We don't have just four key players to focus on for the final round of 2016.
In a year like no other, we have to say our thanks to those who came to our club in our darkest hour and helped us when so many could have let us sink. In no particular order, we will say our thanks to the top up players for Essendon in 2016.
#50 - JAMES POLKINGHORNE
Polks is a superstar on the VFL field. He was once a solid contributor at AFL level, but the game has passed him by. He will forever be known as the bloke with a great name and deltoids the size of cannonballs. Onya Polks. May you return back to the Essendon VFL side and dominate. Gun.
#55 - NATHAN GRIMA
Made one appearance, against his old club at lol Norf. Hurt his back. Made a few jokes and we all had a good laugh. Earned an extra $100,000 for bugger all. I'm not even mad.
#53 - MARK JAMAR
Our big Russian ruck coach pulled on the red and black for one final season in the AFL system, and with it, brought 110kg of vodka-filled brutality, some mad golazos, and plenty of frustration on these here boards. He did surprisingly well, with a few games making him look like he still belongs at AFL level, even though his body is held together with clag glue and Chinese newspapers.
#49 - MATT DEA
Almost a shoe-in to be picked up by Essendon as a ready-made Michael Hibberd replacement, Matty Dea would have to be inarguably the second best top up player that Essendon signed this year. After failing to make an impact at Punt Road (obviously Tyrone Vickery was a better option), Dea has grabbed his second chance with a superior coloured sash with both hands and is making it work. He has been a rock-solid contributor as a small lockdown defender all year, and he absolutely deserves another few years in what will be an extremely exciting Essendon line-up for years to come.
#52 - JONATHAN SIMPKIN
41 games in his career. 4 at Essendon.
1 premiership medal. Lucky prick.
#51 - RYAN CROWLEY
Remember how excited we all were when this was announced? Bloody hell, look at the egg on our faces. Ryan Crowley, once the best tagger in the game, at Essendon, has been somewhat of a monumental failure. Injuries, bad form, and more sideline action than a Lingerie Football League match, this highlight of his season was the Fremantle fans cheering him when he left the ground after snapping his hamstring in the forward pocket. Still, he donned the sash, and we should thank him for it.
#54 - SAM GRIMLEY
The less said here, the better, I think.
Deary me.
#56 - SAM MICHAEL
Not a brilliant footy player. Massive unit though.
Probably has a future in powerlifting.
#48 - MATHEW STOKES
I have to say, I'm not mad that Stokes played for us. He did some good things. His 200th and final game last week was probably one of his best of the last few years, and he can go into retirement with the sound knowledge that he made this Essendon fan happy to see some great small forwards for once. The experience and knowledge he passed down to Orazio Fantasia and Walla can not be understated. Thank you, Stokesy, for a great 2016, even if you were hampered by form and injuries for a vast majority of it.
#47 - JAMES KELLY
This bloke. Pops will finish top three in the Crichton Medal, and for good reason. He is one of the smoothest and silkiest midfielder/half-backs to ever wear the famous red and black. We are all hoping that he can be convinced to continue for another year to push the mighty Essendon Football Club back where it belongs. In finals, back as one of the biggest teams in the country. His leadership and talent this year has helped shape our midfield and rebounding defenders more than we could ever hope. His laid back and friendly persona have helped kids like Darcy Parish and Zach Merrett become absolute superstar players, and we are ALL wanting him to don the sash in 2017.
Pops.
Pops pls.
Sung to Eye of the Tiger by Survivor
Rising up, back in the league
We did our time, copped our lashings
Went for four years now we're back on our feet,
Just a team, with Hep, Hurls, Howlett all re-signed
So many times, didn't think they would last
We'd trade them for a third rounder
Didn't lose grip, we pulled some cash out our ass
And we asked BJ Goddard to re-sign
It's the
Red and black, it's mistakes in the past
Rising up
To the challenge of the contracts
And the last
Known free agent
Makes his way in the States
And he's making coffees for us all
Don the sash
Bellchambers, standing ten feet
Even though they're ain't no Ayris
Heath Hocking will wrap your body in a sheet
And even then, he'll tackle you again
It's the
Red and the black and it's mistakes in the past
Rising up
To the challenge of the contracts
And the last
Known free agent
Makes his way in the States
I'll take a mocha with two sugars to go thanks Jobe
Don the sash
Now we're back
Straight to the top
Or maybe somewhere around eighth
We went the distance, Woosha won't let us stop
Just a team, with the desire to thrive
It's the
Essendon Bombers, leave mistakes in the past
We're a team with lots of fame and lots of glory
And we've got sixteen flags flying up on our masts
I can't see why we can't win some more
Don the sash
It's done. 2016, arguably the longest season in our history, is finished. We have every chance to win this last game against the old foe (**** Carlton), and if we do so, with other results going our way, we can avoid the spoon. I'm not hung up about past glories or long-standing records, but I don't want us to have finished last. If we can finish above Brisbane based purely on percentage alone, then that's a massive success.
And with O'Meara wanting an interstate transfer, that still leaves us in the box seat.
Thank you to you all for reading these long-winded, semi-funny but most of all grammatically incorrect bombardment of misguided football information and heavily opinionated bullwhackery threads all season. I've seriously enjoyed being able to take these from 100% serious Herald Sun style (read: totally wrong) articles to the try-hard humour you're reading at this very second in your underwear and red and black socks whilst holding onto a VB stubby.
I'll be back with more Game Day threads in 2017, and keep an eye out for my 2016 review thread with more banter and assumed hilarity, coming this September.
Go Bombers!
-VelvetSledge
ROUND 6, 2016
MCG
Crowd - 43,827
ESSENDON BOMBERS 8.9 57
def. by
THE SCUM 10.12 72
ESSENDON BEST: Dempsey, Cooney, Goddard, Z. Merrett
ESSENDON GOALS: Brown, Parish 2, Polkinghorne, Grimley, Daniher, Fantasia
SCUM BEST: Thomas, Gibbs, Murphy, Graham
SCUM GOALS: Wright 2, Murphy, Thomas, Gibbs, Armfield, Jones, Lamb, Phillips, Sumner
CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: Polkinghorne, Grimley, Fantasia, Crowley, Cooney, Gwilt, Stokes, Simpkin
ESSENDON INS: Ambrose, Long, Laverde, J. Merrett, Bird, Kommer, McKenna, McKernan
SCUM OUTS: Lamb, Curnow, Byrne, Murphy
SCUM INS: Buckley, Cripps, Cuningham, Silvagni
MELBOURNE:
TV: FOX Sports 3, FOXTEL Play (LIVE at 2.00pm)
RADIO: SEN, ABC, ABC Grandstand
ADELAIDE:
TV: FOX Sports 3, FOXTEL Play (LIVE at 1.30pm)
RADIO: ABC, ABC Grandstand
PERTH:
TV: FOX Sports 3, FOXTEL Play (LIVE at 12.00pm)
RADIO: ABC, ABC Grandstand
After a very long year, with many downs but also many highs, there really is only one thing to say that will touch the hearts of the whole Essendon board.
**** Carlton.
Essendon by 21.
