VelvetSledge
Moderator
- May 24, 2007
- 17,477
- 35,250
- AFL Club
- Essendon
- Other Teams
- Liverpool FC, Melbourne Storm
- Moderator
- #1
FORECAST:
13 degrees. 40% chance of rain. Partly cloudy. For the love of James Kelly's nipple hairs, keep that ******* roof on.
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $1.12
FREMANTLE DOCKERS: $6.50
THE SUPERCOACH TOP 3 FROM LAST WEEK:
ESSENDON: David Zaharakis (137), Tom Bellchambers (128), Mark Baguley (110)
FREMANTLE: Nat Fyfe (142), Sean Darcy (93), David Mundy (91)
ESSENDON BOMBERS
Eeeeehhhhhhh.
Josh Green got injured and it makes me sad. Poor fella's season is over.
How good is Fridge! After 7086976 weeks as an emergency, he finally managed to pop into the seniors and kicked a goal with his first kick, alongside 2 score assists to Jim Stewart and THEN another goal. J Begley 3 votes.
McGrath should win the Rising Star. He's been amazing all year, and his form hasn't tapered whatsoever. Incredible player.
With that grinding win, we got back into the Top 8, and it's looking like we're going to stay there. A win this week, and we're in the finals.
We dominated the clearances (which is to be expected as the Suns were using makeshift ruckmen), the inside 50s, and the contested possession; but we weren't able to make the most of the opportunities.
We need to employ a goal kicking coach for next season. It's pathetic how crap our goal kicking has been in the past few weeks.
Zaharakis is back to his best. 38 touches and 37,000 inside 50s in a best on ground effort. It's so amazing to see him switch his form around, as he was damn close to being dropped earlier in the year.
The lack of a percentage boost could hurt. We had every opportunity to smash them, but just didn't capitalise.
Joey D was blanketed by May, albeit somewhat unfairly; he managed to get on the board with one goal but needs a huge bag and for Kennedy to be held down by the Crows defence later today to grab his maiden Coleman.
Darcy Parish continues to impress. He will be a contested beast when his body continues to grow.
BJ Goddard is a superstar. The amount of dickwits on Facebook wanting him to get the arse at the end of the year is unbelievable. He is a genuine gun, and playing off half back allows him to make great decisions and send the pill way up forward to our waiting talls.
Jim Stewart is a legitimate steal. Could really prove to be a genuine gun versatile forward in the comp.
ESSENDON BOMBERS 12.18 90 def. GOLD COAST SUNS 9.3 57
Crowd: 16,817 plus a piece of Cameron Ling's skull
BEST: Zaharakis, Goddard, Baguley, Kelly, McGrath
GOALS: Hooker, Stewart, Begley 2, Green, McKenna, Heppell, Daniher, Parish, McDonald-Tipungwuti
INJURIES: Green (Foot and DERO 's heart strings)
REPORTS: Nil
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FREMANTLE DOCKERS
Jesus H Christ. What in the **** was that.
In their last ever match at Domain Stadium, the Dockers turned in the worst performance that they've shown in... Well, a week.
Two weeks in a row, the Dockers have been thrashed by 104 points. The Tigers made them look extraordinarily s**t.
Harley Bennell played his first game for the Dockers and kicked a couple of snags, but aside from that was largely unsighted. Which, honestly, is to be expected when you consider how long he's been out of footy.
It was a fierce opening term, with the Dockers leading at the first break, but from that point on, they allowed the Tigers to kick 22 of the games last 26 goals. That's pathetic.
When Jacob Townsend and Kane Lambert can kick bags of six and three respectively, you know you've had a howler.
Maybe they should bring in Zac Dawson.
I'm trying to find another positive for this performance but I'm drawing a blank.
The Dockers have been defeated in 10 of their last 12 games. Three of those losses have been by over 100 points.
Fyfe was good?
That's about it really. That was shithouse.
FREMANTLE DOCKERS 7.9 51 def. by RICHMOND TIGERS 25.5 155
Crowd: 34,204 people who really wish they'd stayed home and sunk some piss
BEST: Fyfe, Hamling, S. Hill, Mundy
GOALS: Bennell, Crozier 2, Fyfe, Deluca, Ballantyne
INJURIES: Nil
REPORTS: Sean Darcy (Striking Nick Vlastuin for being a ginge)
ESSENDON COACH: John Worsfold
FREMANTLE COACH: Ross "Cult of Personality" Lyon
ESSENDON EMERGENCIES:
Kyle Langford, Shaun McKernan, Heath Hocking
FREMANTLE EMERGENCIES:
Griffin Logue, Josh Deluca, Danyle Pearce
--------------------------
ESSENDON INS: Jobe Watson, Travis Colyer
ESSENDON OUTS: Josh Green (Foot), Craig Bird (Omit)
FREMANTLE INS: Sam Collins, Jonathan Griffin, Shane Kersten, Lachje Neale, Tommy Sheridan
FREMANTLE OUTS: Sean Darcy (Suspended), Josh Deluca (Omit), Griffin Logue (Omit), Cam McCarthy (Omit), Ryan Nyhuis (Omit)
MILESTONES:
CAMERON SUTCLIFFE
FREMANTLE
100 GAMES
Free have swung the proverbial axe this week after consecutive 104-point demolition jobs, making an enormous five changes, while the Bombers follow up their win over the Suns last week with a minuscule two. The Dockers have axed the living s**t out of Deluca, Logue, Nyhuis, and that weird guitarist-from-INXS looking prick Cam McCarthy. He'd be feeling pretty happy about that. Now he can stay home with his parents and smoke some grass. Sean Darcy did a stupid and got himself suspended. Coming into the Freo lineup is youngster Sam Collins, the crappy Pav Shane Kersten (complete with long schnoz), Lachie Neale (who you know will get 45 touches because we refuse to tag), and Tommy Sheridan, who sounds like he should really own his own line of designer pyjamas.
The Bombers have seen Josh Green's season end with a fracture in his foot, while Craig Bird served us well while Jobe was rested last week. Now, he comes in for his final home game. The king of Essendon, Jobe Watson, will today play his very last home game in front of his adoring public. Speedy Trav Colyer returns after a week off, and we just need to hope he's taught himself how to not drop the ball and how to kick.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #11 - DAVID ZAHARAKIS
Over the past three months or so, Zaka has turned his form in a complete 180 to become arguably our most important player. The start of 2017 was a hard time for him. He went from being one of the key cogs of the midfield to again playing alongside names such as Heppell and Watson, and his new role was one he genuinely struggled with. Thankfully, after getting to the point where he was almost dropped from the side, Zaka is now arguably a sneaky chance for the Crichton Medal. His form resurgence has seen him become a high possession, in and under, run with midfielder who is a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of anything. Just like a strong garlic sauce on a solid 3am kebab when your blood more resembles stout than blood, or like the tub of Black Swan tzatziki surrounded by wonderful twiggy sticks and kabana discs alongside shithouse celery and carrot, he's the shining light that stands out in a wonderful mix. Greek, strong, and really good with lamb. He won't make your breath stink, though.
I'm hungry.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #21 - DYSON HEPPELL
Dyson has been a weird one this season. On return, his first game back against Hawthorne was fantastic. A true captains game. But his best performances have been a bit like his hair. All over the place, matted, smells a bit like bacon grease and mothballs, and no-one wants to touch it. Over the past few weeks, however, it should be noted that he has seriously increased his output. Gearing up for his first finals series as captain of the club he grew up barracking for, Hep has really pushed himself to become a more complete player over the year. His efforts, both defensively and going inside 50, have given the forwards the best possible chance to make the most of their opportunities, and to put scores on the board. While people have called him slow and sluggish throughout the middle part of the season (which is kind of true, he's been like a Canadian special student at times), he still manages to make an impact with quick hands and quick thinking. Arguably one of the better captains in the league, Hep demands respect and cruisy knackers everywhere he goes, and we're extremely lucky to have him.
FREMANTLE DOCKERS - #7 - NATHAN FYFE
And we are back, with more of "People Who Look Like Things!"
Just kidding Nat. You know I love you.
And a special edition...
FREMANTLE DOCKERS - ROSS LYON
Freo Fans: "C'mon Fremantle, you fired Mark Harvey for way less than this"
Fremantle Board: "Yeah, but Harvey really bugged us. Besides, the way that GWS are travelling all the clubs in the league will be like this in a few years. We say lay back and enjoy it. It's one hell of a toboggan ride."
Time to say Goodbye - 24th August 2017
It's getting towards that time of the year where the list of retirees starts to add up. From clubs all over the league, proper legends of the game are hanging up the boots for the final time. We have our select few. When you go back and think about the class of players retiring this year, it's rare that we'll ever see anything like this again. If you look at teams alphabetically, you'll see hardworking, record-breaking Adelaide midfielder Scott Thompson saying goodbye after a long and successful career. At Carlton, maligned and somewhat hilariously tattooed and goatee'd VFL gun Dennis Armfield is hanging the boots up. Over at Collingwood, Jesse White still exists apparently. Shane Yarran was forced out, Garrick Ibbotson had hung the purple boots up after 177 games, and Zac Dawson has been told by his best friend Ross Lyon to piss off because he's as useful as a waterproof teabag.
Tom Downie from the Giants has left the game, and triple premiership superstar and GWS forward flanker Stevie Johnson has also decided that a career in coaching is his new calling. Chronic s**t bloke and drink driver Luke Hodge has decided to call it a day, alongside a fellow triple premiership star in Josh Gibson, who's body is now 80% paper mâché. Jack Fitzpatrick, who won a game once, has had to retire because his head is a bit schwonky, and Luke Surman, who I actually had no idea existed, has also decided to give it away. Heretier Lumumba, aka. Dickhead McShitforbrains PissKnob, has retired due to an extreme excess of offendedness. Absolute deadset sook. Flog. The big mullet Ivan Maric has retired from Richmond, and Chris Yarran was let go very early in the season due to his methamphetamine addiction. Sydney premiership star turned Saint, Sean Dempster, retired earlier in the year, alongside arguably the greatest St Kilda player ever, Nick Riewoldt. West Coast see Paddy Brophy return to Ireland citing homesickness. Veterans Sam Butler and 2014 Brownlow Medalist Matt Prides have decided to leave the game, while the Dogs see legends Matthew Boyd and Bob Murphy said goodbye a few nights ago.
Over at the HPC, and three of our favourite sons are finishing up. James Kelly, who came to Essendon in our time of greatest need. Jobe Watson, the son of a gun who became a legend of the club in his own right, a captain, and rightful Brownlow Medalist. Brent Stanton, the hard working 255 gamer who always put the Essendon team before himself. The contribution that these three have made to our club can not be rivalled. Stants has been much maligned throughout his career, but always tried his absolute hardest and averaged over 20 disposals per year for his entire career. Mr Consistent. Pops arrived when we had twelve of our listed players banned for a giant farce that we shall not speak of. He provided leadership, teaching, and his knowledge of the game is absolutely second to none. Jobe is, quite simply, a champion of the game. One of the greatest players to have worn red and black. A kid who arrived a little overweight, not overly skilled, who became one of the greatest captains that the league has ever seen. He is, and always will be, an absolute legend of the club.
Stand up and shout today, guys and girls. Make a heap of noise any time Pops or Jobe get the ball. Stants unfortunately can't play today but if you're at the VFL, make noise for him too.
Thanks, boys. You'll always be a part of Essendon.
-VS
ROUND 7, 2017
Domain Stadium Stadium
Crowd - 33,393
ESSENDON BOMBERS 11.13 79
def. by
FREMANTLE DOCKERS 17.14 116
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ESSENDON BEST: Hurley, Heppell, Daniher, Z. Merrett, Goddard, Hooker
ESSENDON GOALS: Daniher 3, Hooker 2, Heppell, Merrett, Gleeson, Hurley, McDonald-Tipungwuti, Green
ESSENDON INJURIES: Nil
FREMANTLE BEST: Neale, Fyfe, Taberner, B. Hill, Walters, Kersten
FREMANTLE GOALS: Taberner 4, Kersten, McCarthy, Fyfe, Grey 2, Neale, Crozier, B. Hill, Mundy, Balic
FREMANTLE INJURIES: Nil
---------
CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: Hurley, Stanton, Fantasia, Francis, Leuenberger, Green, Dea
ESSENDON INS: McGrath, Ambrose, Begley, Stewart, Bellchambers, Watson, Laverde
FREMANTLE OUTS: Blakely, Walters, Spurr, Langdon, Ibbotson, McCarthy, Balic, Sandilands, Grey
FREMANTLE INS: Ballantyne, Bennell, Cox, Ryan, Griffin, S. Hill, Suban, Collins, Sheridan
MELBOURNE:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 1.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm AEST)
RADIO: SEN, ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
SYDNEY:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 1.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm AEST)
RADIO: -
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
ADELAIDE:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 12.30pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 12.30pm ACST)
RADIO: ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
PERTH:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 11.00am AWST) FOXFooty (LIVE at 11.00am AWST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 11.00am AWST)
RADIO: 6PR, ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
BRISBANE:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 1.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm AEST)
RADIO: -
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
TASMANIA:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 1.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm AEST)
RADIO: ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
DARWIN:
TV: FOXFooty (LIVE at 12.30pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 12.30pm ACST)
RADIO: ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetred on Telstra Mobile Network)
Here it is, boys and girls. The final showing before we get to the finals. The Dockers are cooked. Their season is over, and has been for a while. They have nothing to play for. We, on the other hand, have absolutely everything to play for. We're ready for the final test, and we're ready for the finals. Could we be this years Bulldogs? Could we have such an amazing finals series that we go all the way? Maybe. But we need to overcome the Dockers first. It's the first time we've played them in Melbourne for about seventy years, and it's time for us to show the AFL world that we're here to make an impact.
Let's do this, Dons.
Essendon by 104.
For shits and gigs.
