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#1
ESSENDON
NORTH MELBOURNE 7.16 58 def. by ESSENDON BOMBERS 17.14 116
BEST: Merrett, Shiel, Heppell, Fantasia, McGrath, Brown, Guelfi
GOALS: Fantasia 4, Brown 3, McGrath, McDonald-Tipungwuti, Stringer, Daniher 2, Ambrose, Ham
INJURIES: Clarke (Calf, replaced in side by Daniher), Zaharakis (Infection, replaced in side by Ham), McDonald-Tipungwuti (Corked quad)
REPORTS: Nil
Lol Norf.
The ledger was looking relatively square, like a real hard slog at the closing few minutes of the second quarter. Norf had managed to quell the speed Essendon had off half-back and it seemed as though this would see them head into half time in a decent position.
And then, Pigeon kicked a banana on the run from 35, Walla slotted a shot from the pocket, Mitch Brown ran through to goal from an easy Bellchambers handball, before Orazio Fantasia knocked through another snap. Bang, 35 points up.
We’re now averaging 18 goals a game with scintilating, free-flowing, run-at-all-costs gameplay.
The power and precision off half back and through the midfield is proving to kill teams off who aren’t prepared to run as quickly as Essendon do.
Dylan Shiel, Zach Merrett, and Dyson Heppell are gelling like the midfield trio we knew that could be. The inside work from Merrett and Heppell to the outside run from the absolute machine Dylan Shiel, we saw no less than 10 times where we could get an easy inside 50 with little to no pressure.
Perhaps this is down to Norf being absolute garbage with no decent midfielders to run with him, but good LORD he’s playing like the beast we know he is. Worth every single penny. Bloke is a Rolls Royce.
Zach Merrett ending up with a lazy 39 touches is a true testament to just how dominant we were. Norf never really had a chance. And the reading on their board afterwards was pure hilarity.
As predicted, Ben Brown clunked a few and took a run-up from Borneo.
Adam Saad is just pure silk. So quick, so smooth, so explosive.
Andy McGrath kicking goals is another string added to his already impressive bow. What a #1 pick.
Pat Ambrose sneaking a cheeky goal whilst keeping Ben Brown to 2 goals is a fair indication of how well he’s playing this week. If you don’t see your full back, he’s doing a great job.
The Daniher fiasco was pure AFL Shitposting. Not only did that do it to Norf, the little brother with well-known financial concerns, they rubbed it in with full acknowledgement of the fine they were going to cop. $20K? Piss easy. The ranting and foam spilling from the mouths of the Norf posters on this site? Priceless.
Lol Norf.
--------
COLLINGWOOD
BRISBANE LIONS 8.13 61 def. by COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES 18.15 123
BEST: Treloar, Mihocek, Grundy, Stephenson, Crisp, Beams, Phillips
GOALS: Mihocek 4, de Goey 3, Cox, Stephenson, Elliott, Thomas, Brown 2, Beams
INJURIES: Aish (Concussion)
REPORTS: Nil
A relatively routine rout for the Pies up in Brisbane, completely dominant against the highly fancied Lions.
Brody Mihocek played out of his skin to seal 4 goals alongside his 18 touches.
Treloar dominated just as Merrett did the week earlier against the Lions, except that the Lions themselves were far less effective against Collingwood.
De Goey is a knob but Jesus that boy can kick a goal.
Tom Phillips would have to be one of the most underrated players in the league. Always plays a role and is consistently In Collingwood’s bests.
Stephenson is going to be an issue. A quick forward with plenty of height and marking capability is always an issue for us, but partnered with the big Yank, he could prove to be a headache.
Grundy smashed the hit outs again, but very rarely seems to knock them to advantage. This week, we should just rove off his hitouts. Get Bellchambers to just jump into him every time.
There isn’t much else to write; the Pies dominated from start to finish, and have done a fair bit so far this year. They generally smash teams in the first quarter and start well, we just need to counter that.
These pricks have won 4 of the last 5 Anzac Days and I am not dealing with that fact well.
ESSENDON EMERGENCIES
Darcy Parish, Kyle Langford, Aaron Francis, Sam Draper
COLLINGWOOD EMERGENCIES
Ben Crocker, Isaac Quaynor, Ben Reid, Rupert Wills
------
ESSENDON INS: David Zaharakis, Devon Smith
ESSENDON OUTS: Brayden Ham, Darcy Parish (Both omit)
COLLINGWOOD INS: Levi Greenwood, Will Hoskin-Elliott
COLLINGWOOD OUTS: Jamie Elliott (Injured), James Aish (Concussion)
Nothing overly surprising at the table from the Bombers this week, with the late change against Norf, Brayden Ham, making way for the returning David Zaharakis. Zaka was off last week with an infection inside his knee due to a deep cut he copped while making fresh tzatziki. Or smashing a plate at a wedding. Greek tings. Darcy Parish could consider himself a little stiff to be dropped for the biggest home and away game of the year; he wasn't great last week, but the name of Baguley keeps popping up when he consistently makes mistakes. Returning in his place is last year's best and fairest, Devon Smith, who is back at 100% after a slightly down start to the year with injuries.
The Pies have shocked a few, recalling Will Hoskin-Elliott from injury a little earlier than expected. James Aish hasn't pulled up quite right after being knocked out last week, and Jamie Elliott remains true to form in getting injured 6 weeks into the season. It's a bit shit, I quite like Elliott, but I quite like Essendon winning more. Alongside WHE is Levi Greenwood, who Collingwood really only play when they're coming up against a player they need to stop. Like Merrett. Or Heppell. Or Shiel. Let's hope he doesn't swing his elbow into Zach's head again.
ESSENDON – #29 – PATRICK AMBROSE
I wrote last week that Mitch Brown was a polarising figure, which is correct – his performances so far, this year, have been enough to convince people that he’s actually a solid player who slots goals every single week. Another polarising figure is this bloke, Paddy Ambrose. A mountain of a man, who has the athletic prowess of every 1500m Gold Medalist combined, Slambrose has played some seriously good games this year. He is shutting down the game’s best forwards, he’s commanding the backline alongside Hooker and Hurley, and he’s looking like a real contender to go to the dangerous Jordan de Goey this week.
**** that guy.
ESSENDON – #27 – MASON REDMAN
Redman has always been a case of “when”, and not “how”. One of the more talented youngsters we’ve had on our list for a while now, the South Australian has gone from strength to strength this year since he’s come back into the side after a long period of being sidlined with injury. His number one strength is his laser-sharp kicking. Alongside Walla, Redman is arguably the best passer by foot in our side, and runs at a ridiculous efficiency. Aside from the shocking haircut, he’s been a revelation in this Essendon side, and his run through half-back into the middle is one of the main reasons why we’ve looked so lethal coming out of defence. Also;
COLLINGWOOD - #22 - STEELE SIDEBOTTOM
This prick. Every single time we play this mob, regardless of form, regardless of body condition, he will tear us fifteen new arseholes and bleed every single one of them dry. 45 touches, 4 goals? No worries Steele, we won’t get in your way, just make sure you cop 3 Brownlow votes against us again. Cheers mate. Good stuff. The difference now is that we have a midfield that can actually compete with the powerful Collingwood centre engine. Shiel, Merrett, Heppell, McGrath up against Beams, Treloar, Pendlebury, and this prick. We’re almost breaking even with them in the guts now that we have Shiel, which may be the point of equality between old mate Sidearse ******* us again or us breaking even.
This prick.
COLLINGWOOD – #46 - MASON COX
There is a veritable shit-ton of hype around this bloke. I don’t get it. Sure, he’s tall, can catch the thing and kick it from time to time, but he’s not a superstar. Did he dominate us last year? Yes. Did he dominate Richmond last year in the Semi final? Yes. Could Josh Bootsma with one leg and half a nut have dominated us on ANZAC Day last year? Absolutely he could have. I have a long-running argument with my Collingwood-supporting cousin that his only strong feature is his height, and the fact that he can help old ladies get the cheap toilet paper down from the higher shelves whilst also saving little kitties from low hanging trees. Perhaps the reason he gets my jimmies rustled is the insane media aura around him. He doesn’t do anything any different than other key forwards, except for being American. In fact, there’s a great drinking game you can play, where you take a drink every time the commentators mention the fact that Mason Cos is from America, he has a basketball background, he’s tall, or marks the ball. Which he is paid to do.
You’ll be smashed halfway through the second quarter.
How are there two blokes called Mason playing today?!
A new addition this year; The Golden Kipfler celebrates the spuddiest player or commodity on the opposing side.
Round 6: Daniel Wells’ Body
Competing with the likes of Jordan de Goey’s dog, Tim Membrey’s tattooist, and the Channel 7 commentary team, the body of Daniel Wells is one of the most unreliable commodities in the AFL. The poor bloke suffered through playing for Lol Norf for years, and was then given a saving grace by a surging Collingwood side. The only let down? His unfortunate rig.
Wells is built similarly to an early 80s Alfa Romeo; sure, when he does the basics, he looks great, but push even slighly closer to high performance and there you are, on the side of the Monash, hazards on, wishing you spent your money on something more reliable.
While in his day, Wells was one of the most creative mid/forward combos in the game, his body is now at the point where it’s almost as if he’s the trucks that go under the Montague St bridge. You know it’s going to happen, you just don’t know when; and then, bang. Goneski.
Not a spud player, just a spud chassis.
This week’s Golden Kipfler Nominee is Daniel Wells’ body.
Round 1 Nominee: Dylan Buckley, GWS
Round 2 Nominee: Dan Hannebery, St Kilda
Round 3 Nominee: Steven May's Groin, Melbourne
Round 4 Nominee: Mitch Robinson’s Fortnite Obsession, Brisbane
Round 5 Nominee: Ben Brown's limp-dicked diving, lol Norf
Round 6 Nominee: Daniel Wells' glass body, Collingwood
I usually rant and rave and talk complete and utter shit in this little segment. A genuine pisstake of all things footy, because I love the game and I love taking the mickey. Usually I’ll insult and annoy a vast group of players or supporters, usually over things that they can’t control. Or just because they’re shit. This week, however, is a bit different.
The ANZAC story is well documented, and the importance of it in relevance to our great game is utmost; the bravery and vigor shown by our troops is one that still makes the efforts shown on field, no matter how selfless they are, seem like nothing. This year marks 104 years since that fateful day on the shores of Gallipoli, and the story still sends shivers up the spine.
In 1914, the British, French, and Russian Alliance was teetering towards a full-scale war against the ever-strengthening German Empire. Strained relations and an overwhelming sense of dominance eminating from the Germans pushed the British alliance to declare war on Germany; a move that changed the face of the world forever. News travelled to Australia, who was enjoying a Bank Holiday Monday at the time. When the country returned to work the following day, however, the news was bleak. Joseph Cook, the Australian Prime Minister at the time, said in relation to Britain’s declaration of war, “If the Old Country is at war, so are we”. The timing was advantageous to the Australian politicians – we were in the middle of an election campaign – and those who sat in the capital used the war to push their respective parties to appeal to the Brits. Andrew Fisher, the opposition leader at the time, declared that we would send Great Britain “our last man and our last shilling”, whilst Cook responded with, “Our duty is quite clear – to gird up our loins and remember that we are Britons”.
The mood of young men in Australia was not what you would expect – many were jubilant, ecstatic that they would be home by Christmas and that the adventure and excitement, paid for by the government, would be absolutely worth any danger. Surely it couldn’t be that dangerous, how ruthless could the German empire actually be?
Australia pledged 20,000 men to go and fight over the world. Canada, as the largest Commonwealth nation outside of Europe pledged 30,000, while New Zealand already had compulsory military training. For the war in Europe, Australia went the extra mile to appease the British Alliance, forming the AIF – the Australian Imperial Force. Recruiting began within days of the announcement of the war.
Those who were too young to conscript faked their ages, simply to experience the adventure. A little over a month later, they marched the streets of Melbourne and Sydney, trying to convince others to join them in the fight. These new recruits were known as “six bob a day tourists”, as the pay was relatively high for the time, and most thought of the war as more of a holiday than a tour of duty. This convoy of Australian troops merged with the New Zealand equivalent in late October of 1914 on the way to the Suez Canal, and formed the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps – The ANZACs. They disembarked in Egypt, and dug themselves in near the Great Pyramids of Egypt, and began the war with Turkey, who had joined the German cause.
The Russians were fighting on the Eastern Front, and needed the British and French to tackle Turkey to take pressure off of the Russian border. As such, the British forces commanded the ANZACs to land on the beach at Gallipoli. They didn’t expect much resistance – 40,000 Turks if anything – and anticipated that the shore would be open to landing on easy terms. What followed was the most iconic story of Australian resilience and endurance. The maps and location of the ANZACs had been mis-read and skewed, and the ANZACs were far away from where they had intended to land.
On the 25th of April, 1915, the ANZAC troops approached the hard cliff face of Gallipoli after receiving open fire from the trees from the Turkish troops. They landed at a difficult and desolate spot on the peninsula, with the Turks completely ready for them. The ANZACs made miniscule headway under the rocky outcrops and thorn-laden scrub. The losses for the ANZACs were immense, and their forces were wasting away to nothing with casualties and sickness. The Turks knew the land and were able to reinforce their front line whilst continuing to wipe the ANZAC troops out. One such soldier who was caught in the crossfire was Herb Hunter.
Hunter was a quality dentist who studied at Melbourne Grammar, and was graduated in 1904. Prior to his graduation, he was a supreme athlete, dominating all comers in the track events, but also playing for our beloved Essendon Football Club. Hunter played 3 games in the 1900 season, before beginning his service in the Australian military. He debuted, perhaps somewhat meaningfully, against today’s opponents in Collingwood. The game had been delayed from the previous week to be played on a Wednesday – a public holiday to celebrate the Relief of the Siege of Mafeking. He played two more matches in wet weather which he didn’t play well in – against St Kilda and Carlton – before heading back to play at Melbourne Grammar. Hunter was part of the landing at Gallipoli, and was marked Killed in Action some two weeks later during the Assault of Krithia, on the 8th of May 1915. He was wounded in the trenches of Walker’s Ridge, and while he was being stretchered to the hospital encampment down the hill, he and his two handlers were struck by a Turkish shell.
Some months later, in August, another assault was thrown at the coast of Gallipoli, but it was another comprehensive failure. Heavy casualties meant that the entire campaign was an utter debacle, and due to military censorship, the story of how the Brits threw the ANZACs like a sacrificial lamb to the Turks was in danger of disappearing forever. That was, until a young journalist known as Keith Murdoch (yes, those Murdoch’s) caught wind of the story of the Dardanelles and ran with it to the Australian Prime Minister. He forwarded the story to the British Prime Minister, who was no fan of the British Military establishment. The captain who ordered the ANZAC Assault, Sir Ian Hamilton, was immediately dismissed, and never held a leadership role again.
The British government issued an immediate evacuation of the ANZACs. By day, it appeared as though more ANZAC troops were landing whilst the troops that had already landed were coninuing to fight. By nightfall, the troops were rapidly evacuated from the battlefield under almost complete silence, save for sporadic rifle and gunfire. By the 20th of December 1915, the evacuation was entirely complete, and the Turks unknowingly continued to bomb the empty trenches. On 9 January 1916, the Turks carried out their last offensive on Gallipoli, revealing only that the entire force had withdrawn without casualty. The evacuation was the Allies most successful operation in Gallipoli.
The Anzacs went on to serve with distinction in Palestine and on the western front in France.
Australia had a population of five million - 330,000 served in the war, 59,000 were killed.
New Zealand with a population of one million lost 18,000 men out of 110,000 and had 55,000 wounded. These New Zealand figures (62%) represent the highest percentage of all units from the Anglo-Saxon world.
The horrors of war and its ripple effect continue to this day. While there are no more remaining veterans from the assault on Gallipoli, their memory and sacrifice continues throughout the entire country on this day.
A day of respect, solace, and remembrance – one that continues to mean more than most other days to all Australians. Whether you were born in this country, or came from shores abroad, we all should ackowledge today for what it is.
The marking of a day which will live forever in the memory of this country. The making of an alliance between countries which stays bulletproof to this day.
Football is not the important subject of this day. Sure, we will probably forget the ANZAC side of things once the siren blows and our two teams do their thing for the following few hours. We will cheer, rant, rave, and celebrate, even with the incredibly solemn subject on which this day was founded.
The result today will be forgotten. It’s a game of football.
What happened to young men, 104 years ago today, will not. Their sacrifice will live in through our great country forever.
They shall grow not old,
As we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them,
Nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun,
And in the morning,
We will Remember them.
Lest We Forget.
This week, the delightful musings of our very own Stopher !
Dom Sheed, I love you. No matter what you do from here on, you'll always be the guy that cooly slotted a Grand Final-winning goal against Collingwood like it was nothing. Funnily enough, had Andrew Brayshaw not been Gaff'd weeks earlier, you might not have even been there on the day! Sorry Andy, but this was for the greater good (Ok, I jest!)
Seriously though, that was too close for comfort. Approaching the end of the 1st quarter, I was considering not watching the rest and getting even drunker than planned (yes, I'm a pussy, sue me!) Thankfully, natural order was restored and Bucks resumed his rightful place next to Lisa, Oates and Garfunkel.
Anyone who read my rant for the return game against this mob last year will know I'm not a fan, stemming from 1990. Fast forward to modern times and what annoyed me about them mostly last season was they were apparently the only team to get any injuries. At all. Fun fact though, Joe and Raz kicked 15 between them across both 2017 games against Collingwood, whereas last season the Pies copped a half-baked Joe once and Raz missed both. Quality over quantity, yo.
Anyway, it's nice that we're hitting this Anzac fixture in good form, plus it falling on a Thursday has been a blessing too. Even I can admit (through gritted ******* teeth!) that Collingwood are currently a pretty good team, so a win here would be pretty ******* massive. Go Bombers!
Ps: What's black, white and purple?
Eddie when Dom Sheed kicked the winning goal! Ok, I'll get my coat.
ROUND 16, 2018
MCG
8/7/18
ESSENDON BOMBERS 9.8 62
def. by
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES 12.6 78
---------
ESSENDON BEST: Heppell, Merrett, Smith, Brown, Goddard
ESSENDON GOALS: Brown 3, McKernan 2, Baguley, Langford, McDonald-Tipungwuti, McGrath
COLLINGWOOD BEST: Higgins, Goldstein, MacMillan, Cunnington
COLLINGWOOD GOALS: De Goey 3, Sidebottom 2, Hoskin-Elliott, Adams, Grundy, Cox, Daicos, Stephenson, Mihocek
---------
CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: Goddard, McKernan, Long, Langford, McNiece, Colyer
ESSENDON INS: Ridley, Shiel, Redman, Daniher, Fantasia, Zaharakis
MAGPIES OUTS: Scharenberg, Mayne, Sier, Daicos, Appleby, Crocker
MAGPIES INS: Moore, Roughead, Beams, Treloar, Brown, Varcoe
Round 6: Daniel Wells’ Body
Competing with the likes of Jordan de Goey’s dog, Tim Membrey’s tattooist, and the Channel 7 commentary team, the body of Daniel Wells is one of the most unreliable commodities in the AFL. The poor bloke suffered through playing for Lol Norf for years, and was then given a saving grace by a surging Collingwood side. The only let down? His unfortunate rig.
Wells is built similarly to an early 80s Alfa Romeo; sure, when he does the basics, he looks great, but push even slighly closer to high performance and there you are, on the side of the Monash, hazards on, wishing you spent your money on something more reliable.
While in his day, Wells was one of the most creative mid/forward combos in the game, his body is now at the point where it’s almost as if he’s the trucks that go under the Montague St bridge. You know it’s going to happen, you just don’t know when; and then, bang. Goneski.
Not a spud player, just a spud chassis.
This week’s Golden Kipfler Nominee is Daniel Wells’ body.
Round 1 Nominee: Dylan Buckley, GWS
Round 2 Nominee: Dan Hannebery, St Kilda
Round 3 Nominee: Steven May's Groin, Melbourne
Round 4 Nominee: Mitch Robinson’s Fortnite Obsession, Brisbane
Round 5 Nominee: Ben Brown's limp-dicked diving, lol Norf
Round 6 Nominee: Daniel Wells' glass body, Collingwood
I usually rant and rave and talk complete and utter shit in this little segment. A genuine pisstake of all things footy, because I love the game and I love taking the mickey. Usually I’ll insult and annoy a vast group of players or supporters, usually over things that they can’t control. Or just because they’re shit. This week, however, is a bit different.
The ANZAC story is well documented, and the importance of it in relevance to our great game is utmost; the bravery and vigor shown by our troops is one that still makes the efforts shown on field, no matter how selfless they are, seem like nothing. This year marks 104 years since that fateful day on the shores of Gallipoli, and the story still sends shivers up the spine.
In 1914, the British, French, and Russian Alliance was teetering towards a full-scale war against the ever-strengthening German Empire. Strained relations and an overwhelming sense of dominance eminating from the Germans pushed the British alliance to declare war on Germany; a move that changed the face of the world forever. News travelled to Australia, who was enjoying a Bank Holiday Monday at the time. When the country returned to work the following day, however, the news was bleak. Joseph Cook, the Australian Prime Minister at the time, said in relation to Britain’s declaration of war, “If the Old Country is at war, so are we”. The timing was advantageous to the Australian politicians – we were in the middle of an election campaign – and those who sat in the capital used the war to push their respective parties to appeal to the Brits. Andrew Fisher, the opposition leader at the time, declared that we would send Great Britain “our last man and our last shilling”, whilst Cook responded with, “Our duty is quite clear – to gird up our loins and remember that we are Britons”.
The mood of young men in Australia was not what you would expect – many were jubilant, ecstatic that they would be home by Christmas and that the adventure and excitement, paid for by the government, would be absolutely worth any danger. Surely it couldn’t be that dangerous, how ruthless could the German empire actually be?
Australia pledged 20,000 men to go and fight over the world. Canada, as the largest Commonwealth nation outside of Europe pledged 30,000, while New Zealand already had compulsory military training. For the war in Europe, Australia went the extra mile to appease the British Alliance, forming the AIF – the Australian Imperial Force. Recruiting began within days of the announcement of the war.
Those who were too young to conscript faked their ages, simply to experience the adventure. A little over a month later, they marched the streets of Melbourne and Sydney, trying to convince others to join them in the fight. These new recruits were known as “six bob a day tourists”, as the pay was relatively high for the time, and most thought of the war as more of a holiday than a tour of duty. This convoy of Australian troops merged with the New Zealand equivalent in late October of 1914 on the way to the Suez Canal, and formed the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps – The ANZACs. They disembarked in Egypt, and dug themselves in near the Great Pyramids of Egypt, and began the war with Turkey, who had joined the German cause.
The Russians were fighting on the Eastern Front, and needed the British and French to tackle Turkey to take pressure off of the Russian border. As such, the British forces commanded the ANZACs to land on the beach at Gallipoli. They didn’t expect much resistance – 40,000 Turks if anything – and anticipated that the shore would be open to landing on easy terms. What followed was the most iconic story of Australian resilience and endurance. The maps and location of the ANZACs had been mis-read and skewed, and the ANZACs were far away from where they had intended to land.
On the 25th of April, 1915, the ANZAC troops approached the hard cliff face of Gallipoli after receiving open fire from the trees from the Turkish troops. They landed at a difficult and desolate spot on the peninsula, with the Turks completely ready for them. The ANZACs made miniscule headway under the rocky outcrops and thorn-laden scrub. The losses for the ANZACs were immense, and their forces were wasting away to nothing with casualties and sickness. The Turks knew the land and were able to reinforce their front line whilst continuing to wipe the ANZAC troops out. One such soldier who was caught in the crossfire was Herb Hunter.
Hunter was a quality dentist who studied at Melbourne Grammar, and was graduated in 1904. Prior to his graduation, he was a supreme athlete, dominating all comers in the track events, but also playing for our beloved Essendon Football Club. Hunter played 3 games in the 1900 season, before beginning his service in the Australian military. He debuted, perhaps somewhat meaningfully, against today’s opponents in Collingwood. The game had been delayed from the previous week to be played on a Wednesday – a public holiday to celebrate the Relief of the Siege of Mafeking. He played two more matches in wet weather which he didn’t play well in – against St Kilda and Carlton – before heading back to play at Melbourne Grammar. Hunter was part of the landing at Gallipoli, and was marked Killed in Action some two weeks later during the Assault of Krithia, on the 8th of May 1915. He was wounded in the trenches of Walker’s Ridge, and while he was being stretchered to the hospital encampment down the hill, he and his two handlers were struck by a Turkish shell.
Some months later, in August, another assault was thrown at the coast of Gallipoli, but it was another comprehensive failure. Heavy casualties meant that the entire campaign was an utter debacle, and due to military censorship, the story of how the Brits threw the ANZACs like a sacrificial lamb to the Turks was in danger of disappearing forever. That was, until a young journalist known as Keith Murdoch (yes, those Murdoch’s) caught wind of the story of the Dardanelles and ran with it to the Australian Prime Minister. He forwarded the story to the British Prime Minister, who was no fan of the British Military establishment. The captain who ordered the ANZAC Assault, Sir Ian Hamilton, was immediately dismissed, and never held a leadership role again.
The British government issued an immediate evacuation of the ANZACs. By day, it appeared as though more ANZAC troops were landing whilst the troops that had already landed were coninuing to fight. By nightfall, the troops were rapidly evacuated from the battlefield under almost complete silence, save for sporadic rifle and gunfire. By the 20th of December 1915, the evacuation was entirely complete, and the Turks unknowingly continued to bomb the empty trenches. On 9 January 1916, the Turks carried out their last offensive on Gallipoli, revealing only that the entire force had withdrawn without casualty. The evacuation was the Allies most successful operation in Gallipoli.
The Anzacs went on to serve with distinction in Palestine and on the western front in France.
Australia had a population of five million - 330,000 served in the war, 59,000 were killed.
New Zealand with a population of one million lost 18,000 men out of 110,000 and had 55,000 wounded. These New Zealand figures (62%) represent the highest percentage of all units from the Anglo-Saxon world.
The horrors of war and its ripple effect continue to this day. While there are no more remaining veterans from the assault on Gallipoli, their memory and sacrifice continues throughout the entire country on this day.
A day of respect, solace, and remembrance – one that continues to mean more than most other days to all Australians. Whether you were born in this country, or came from shores abroad, we all should ackowledge today for what it is.
The marking of a day which will live forever in the memory of this country. The making of an alliance between countries which stays bulletproof to this day.
Football is not the important subject of this day. Sure, we will probably forget the ANZAC side of things once the siren blows and our two teams do their thing for the following few hours. We will cheer, rant, rave, and celebrate, even with the incredibly solemn subject on which this day was founded.
The result today will be forgotten. It’s a game of football.
What happened to young men, 104 years ago today, will not. Their sacrifice will live in through our great country forever.
They shall grow not old,
As we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them,
Nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun,
And in the morning,
We will Remember them.
Lest We Forget.
This week, the delightful musings of our very own Stopher !
Dom Sheed, I love you. No matter what you do from here on, you'll always be the guy that cooly slotted a Grand Final-winning goal against Collingwood like it was nothing. Funnily enough, had Andrew Brayshaw not been Gaff'd weeks earlier, you might not have even been there on the day! Sorry Andy, but this was for the greater good (Ok, I jest!)
Seriously though, that was too close for comfort. Approaching the end of the 1st quarter, I was considering not watching the rest and getting even drunker than planned (yes, I'm a pussy, sue me!) Thankfully, natural order was restored and Bucks resumed his rightful place next to Lisa, Oates and Garfunkel.
Anyone who read my rant for the return game against this mob last year will know I'm not a fan, stemming from 1990. Fast forward to modern times and what annoyed me about them mostly last season was they were apparently the only team to get any injuries. At all. Fun fact though, Joe and Raz kicked 15 between them across both 2017 games against Collingwood, whereas last season the Pies copped a half-baked Joe once and Raz missed both. Quality over quantity, yo.
Anyway, it's nice that we're hitting this Anzac fixture in good form, plus it falling on a Thursday has been a blessing too. Even I can admit (through gritted ******* teeth!) that Collingwood are currently a pretty good team, so a win here would be pretty ******* massive. Go Bombers!
Ps: What's black, white and purple?
Eddie when Dom Sheed kicked the winning goal! Ok, I'll get my coat.
MCG
8/7/18
ESSENDON BOMBERS 9.8 62
def. by
COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES 12.6 78
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ESSENDON BEST: Heppell, Merrett, Smith, Brown, Goddard
ESSENDON GOALS: Brown 3, McKernan 2, Baguley, Langford, McDonald-Tipungwuti, McGrath
COLLINGWOOD BEST: Higgins, Goldstein, MacMillan, Cunnington
COLLINGWOOD GOALS: De Goey 3, Sidebottom 2, Hoskin-Elliott, Adams, Grundy, Cox, Daicos, Stephenson, Mihocek
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CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: Goddard, McKernan, Long, Langford, McNiece, Colyer
ESSENDON INS: Ridley, Shiel, Redman, Daniher, Fantasia, Zaharakis
MAGPIES OUTS: Scharenberg, Mayne, Sier, Daicos, Appleby, Crocker
MAGPIES INS: Moore, Roughead, Beams, Treloar, Brown, Varcoe
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 3.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 3.00pm AEST)
RADIO: Triple M, 3AW, SEN, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
SYDNEY:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 3.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 3.00pm AEST)
RADIO: ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
ADELAIDE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 2.30pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 2.30pm ACST)
RADIO: Triple M, ABC, FIVEaa
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
PERTH:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 1.00pm AWST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 1.00pm AWST)
RADIO: ABC, 6PR
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
BRISBANE:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 3.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 3.00pm AEST)
RADIO: NIRS, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
TASMANIA:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 3.00pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 3.00pm AEST)
RADIO: Triple M, ABC, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
DARWIN:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 2.30pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 2.30pm ACST)
RADIO: NIRS, AFL Nation, ABC
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
This is one of the best days of the year, and it is a privelege to be involved every year. Often imitated, never replicated, the ANZAC Day game is the biggest home and away match of the season and for once, we have some form running into it.
A battle of powerful midfields, in-form forward lines, and solid defensive setups. This should be an absolute cracker. It’s our chance to prove that we can match it with one of the favourites for the flag. Whatever happens, this is going to be an excellent game.
Go Dons!
Bombers by 8, and Dylan Shiel for the ANZAC Medal.
