Unofficial Preview Round 8 vs Gold Coast - Excerpts from "The Disaster Club". Coming soon to all good bookstores

MAXIMUM GAWNAGE

RIP Col Sylvia
Jan 7, 2010
30,315
46,325
Traralgon
AFL Club
Melbourne
Other Teams
The Exers, Red Bull F1, Ireland CC
Greetings Melbourne fans,
I have written a detailed manifesto about the founding of what is arguably the most "so bad they're good" club in the history of the AFL.
Firstly the prediction - Melbourne by a minimum 100 points for the first time in so long.
I would like to promote it with some selected excerpts on your fine forum. I have chosen to remain anonymous as I don't wish to have my identity revealed for fear of being blacklisted by all clubs.

-----------------------------THE DISASTER CLUB-----------------------------
Tony Cochrane had a dream. "I own biggest sport club in this country", he exclaimed.
I thought it a mere pipe dream, but Tony was certain he could achieve it. He perused his rolodex and came across the number for James Brayshaw.
"Hello....yes....Mr Brayshaw I buy your Melbourne North.......$20 million.......you move to Gold Coast........I keep all stadium profit".
Looking at the expression on Tony's face, I could tell Brayshaw wasn't going for it. Tony's face was turning red. "You are being unprofessional", Tony's voice got louder and angrier every time it got redder. "You don't let me do business!"
A bit more silence.
"Fine, who needs you!" Tony yelled as he slammed the receiver.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We entered the GABBA through the members gate and took our seats in the VIP lounge. Tony suddenly had a moment of inspiration as we watched the Brisbane players run through the banner.
"I show him! I show all them! I build all time greatest football team!", then he turned to me and pleaded "You are my best friend and you must help me do this! Hahahaha!"
I gulped. I didn't know the first thing about building an AFL team.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tony hired Scott Clayton to help with recruiting. I was unsure about this, as Clayton had a poor trackord with recruiting, but Tony was insistent. He reasoned with me "Don't worry about it. He recruit Adam Cooney who win Brownlow for best Grand Final player. Hahahaha".
At this point I was exhausted, and far too tired to argue the logic with him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"To be the best, we must get the best!", Tony exclaimed to myself and Scott, and then followed up with "Who is the best?"
Franklin? No, he'd never leave Hawthorn. Not even for a million dollars.
Judd? He'd just signed a huge contract with Carlton, so was off limits.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Gary Ablett!"
"Hahahaha! Don't be silly, he retire years ago!", Tony chortled.
"That's his father", Scott corrected, "and his son of the same name will be even greater. But I don't think he'd ever leave a powerhouse like Geelong to come to us".
"Don't worry about it", Tony reassured us, "I make it happen".
Tony went off to make contact with Ablett. Scott was heading off to make a call of his own.
"Who are you calling?", I enquired.
"Nick Riewoldt. He's from Queensland and I reckon we can lure him home. His manager, Ricky Nixon, is a close friend".
I'd heard stories about Nixon and voiced my concerns to Scott, but he tried to play them down.
"Nonsense, Nixon is the most level headed player agent in the business. He's a true professional. Those stories are a load of innuendo", he replied gruffly.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were looking for a ruckman.
Scott had the answer. "Robbie Warnock is a good young ruckman, but he can't get a game because of Aaron Sandilands and he's out of contract".
"Good thinking, Scott. I call now!", Tony said delightfully.
He made a call. I heard the voice through the telephone speaker - "Hello, Melbourne FC recruiting. Barry Prendergast speaking".
Tony replied into the speaker "Oh hi Barry, I would like trade for Warnock to Gold Coast thank you".

------------------------------------TO BE CONTINUED-------------------------------------------

Thank you for taking the time to read these excerpts and I may post more in the future.
Melbourne by 110 points
 
Last edited:

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Top Bottom