Media Royal Heist

[Footypie32]

By Chips von Gravy​

Shocking reports are flooding in that the Gold City Royals are in shock after their crown jewels having been shockingly stolen.

The brazen heist was discovered this morning during the team's usual game of hide and seek. As reigning hide and seek champion CakeEater entered the treasury to hide, he noticed several valuable items were absent.

Notable items said to have been stolen include:
~ Easty's golden jockstrap; Worn in the Royals inaugural match.
~ Marlowe's antique curling wand.
~ The team portrait of the Season 30 premiership side.
~ Cadsky 's personalised 1 of 1 original Pog disc (mint condition).
~ The boots worn by GreyCrow when he broke the all time Hitout record.
~ The Royals moral victory Premiership Cup of Season 37.

The one of a kind Pog​

Team captain GreyCrow is said to be furious and has called for league Admin Gralin to conduct a full investigation.

While no suspects have yet been arrested, witnesses say, DemurePrincess Millky95 and Headless have all been spotted roaming the grounds of the Golden Throne in recent weeks.

While the Royals are naturally tight lipped about the theft, this reporter did manage to get a brief response from Royals star CHF Footypie32.

"I have no idea how this could have happened", said Footypie32.

"Our security people are top notch".

"All I know is all the valuable items were still there last night when I went in there to let the cat out".

"Whoever it was stupidly closed the door behind them so the poor cat couldn't get back in again", FP32 snapped.

The highly sentimental team photo​

The heist has come at the worst possible time, with the Royals already sitting in last place.

"Well at least if we claim the Wooden Spoon we'll have something to put back in the Treasury" said GreyCrow.

The Royals ask anyone with information to come forward.

 

[Jabba73]

Oh crap, we were there last week.

It is well known that DemurePrincess will throw rubbish out when she finds it so I would check your bins if they haven’t been emptied yet.

Serves you right for leaving that room messy.

 

[Footypie32]

Oh crap, we were there last week.

It is well known that DemurePrincess will throw rubbish out when she finds it so I would check your bins if they haven’t been emptied yet.

Serves you right for leaving that room messy.

She would never throw away this loot. Far too valuable.

Also, for legal reasons, this is not an accusation.

 

[GreyCrow]

I am livid

LIVID!!! So livid I used 3 exclamation points. Those boots were a gift from the Royal Saddlers in Woking

 

[GreyCrow]

I found a clue

 

[CakeEater]

Was the Burning Dwarf i found in the treasury an optional extra Footypie32

 

[Footypie32]

Was the Burning Dwarf i found in the treasury an optional extra Footypie32

Yes, but we're not supposed to talk about him.

The Dwarf Union is on our backs.

 

[Footypie32]

I am livid

LIVID!!! So livid I used 3 exclamation points. Those boots were a gift from the Royal Saddlers in Woking

We will find whoever did this and punish them accordingly.

 

[CakeEater]

Yes, but we're not supposed to talk about him.

The Dwarf Union is on our backs.

Oh, well in that case.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho its off to work we go.

 

[DemurePrincess]

Oh shit! This is awkward! Only thing I stole last week was the over used phrase

 

[Jabba73]

She would never throw away this loot. Far too valuable.

Also, for legal reasons, this is not an accusation.

Allegedly, ffs, allegedly.

If you use that word, you can say pretty much anything else and get away with it.

 

[Cadsky]

Anything but my mouth fisting Mila pog.

Whoever did this will pay

 

[Robertio]

We will find whoever did this and punish them accordingly.

Firing squad if it's one of the Old Boys.

 

[Robertio]

Oh shit! This is awkward! Only thing I stole last week was the over used phrase
View attachment 2462515

That's hot.

 

[grumbleguts]

LOL you should see the insurance policy I got before I did this.

 

[Tigerturbulance]

Firing squad if it's one of the Old Boys.

Ok Robertio you can have Marlowe's antique curling wand and the boots worn by GreyCrow back, but the only way you will be getting Easty's sweet golden jockstrap is if you remove it with your teeth

 

[GreyCrow]

DEAL!

You know what to do Robertio

 

[Robertio]