Oppo Camp Sam Kerridge Spud Shield 2017

[tazaa]

Moore it is

 

[naturally north]

Moore it is

Moore is ok- is Mason utensils playing?

 

[Roozee]

Moore is ok- is Mason utensils playing?

Nope, no Cox. And we've got 'No dicks' back in the ruck.

 

[Roozee]

Mate, the point of the Kerridge is that it is all about the unfairness of the Footy Gods. It should therefore be unfair in its very essence. I would suggest not only doing the Perrie point upgrades retrospectively, but doing them randomly, inconsistently, and with blatant favouritism.

Hehe, yeah I hear ya. I often find myself asking the question "What would the AFL do?"!!!!!

I need to get that randomizer wheel that Chadwiko uses to select the winners of the player sponsors competitions!

Anyway, looks like the 'Spudburger' for the Uberspud Medal is a goer for the rest of the season.

 

[naturally north]

Nope, no Cox. And we've got 'No dicks' back in the ruck.

have a feeling Mayne might play, but my early selection is Alex Fellatio, he has to qualify as he sucks.

 

[Roozee]

have a feeling Mayne might play, but my early selection is Alex Fellatio, he has to qualify as he sucks.

I gave Fasolo a leave pass earlier on due to his well documented issues.

 

[big_e]

Blair for me. Hasn't done a thing since The Exorcist.

Had a good first quarter when vice-captain in the international series against Iraq a while back.

Didn't end well, though. Iraqis mounted a fightback, he took himself to the bench and we lost the game.

 

[boneofshin]

Hoskin-Elliott is my man, but I reserve the right to Mayne if he's a late inclusion.

 

[Flawed Genius]

Fasolo

 

[naturally north]

I gave Fasolo a leave pass earlier on due to his well documented issues.

Is he now back on the list?

 

[Roozee]

Is he now back on the list?

 

[giantroo]

Going with the Goldsack Roozee

 

[Roozee]

Full nominations list Round 20 -

koshari - Mayne
Benj7 - Maynard
giantroo - Goldsack
Private Hudson - Langdon
Roozee - Hoskin-Elliott
DaveyBoy123 - Hoskin-Elliott
King Corey - Cox
see see - Hoskin-Elliott
RobZombie - Goldsack
Hojuman - Maynard
Horace - Blair
big_e - Hoskin-Elliott
Kangaroos4eva - Dunn
tazaa - Moore
muttley45 - De Goey
boneofshin - Hoskin-Elliott
TennisPlayerAndy - Blair
YearOfTheRoos - De Goey
Twinkletoes - Blair
Luke72 - Wells (N/A) (Ironically would have won the first Spudburger!)
naturally north - Fasolo (N/A)
Flawed Genius - Fasolo (N/A)

 

[hilly]

Either Blair or Thomas I think.

 

[Roozee]

ROUND 20 REPORT



Remember that game in 2017 when Collingwood beat us by 54 points. Said no-one. Ever. This game was something totally out of Bizarro World or the Twilight Zone. From the moment it was discovered that Darcy Moore had mysteriously dyed his hair 6 shades darker it was on. It was opposite day for the umpires, the players looked like they had put their forehead on an upright baseball bat and spun around 20 times before disposing of the ball and there were players dropping faster than Icarus mid-sky.

We also embarked upon the laborious task of building 'Turnover City' into a bustling metropolis large enough to house the monolithic excremental sculptures that both of these coaches create on a regular basis. To quote Robbie Tarrant on the night (to an umpire)- "Are we playing football?". No Robbie, this does not qualify as "Football". As above.









KERRIDGE PLAYER OF THE WEEK

So Brayden Maynard hacks his way to the Kerridge Player of the week for Round 20 in another Perrie countback. The thing that pisses me off about watching Maynard is that he looks like Pendlebury from a distance when he goes near the ball or gets it......until he disposes of it....and until he plays North where in the absence of Pendlebury he assumes Pendlebury's void and racks up 27 disposals at 88.9 *****n %! Not only that, he did it in the midst of the Twilight Zone that was going on around him (or maybe he was a part of the twilight zone - Doo-doo-DOO-doo Doo-doo-DOO-doo) where the official worst first half in Etihad history was played out. God love you North, you were always going to be a part of it.



PERRIE AWARD

Maynard also picks up a hotly contested Perrie Award this week fueled by x1.25 multipliers - 3 for the 'Brad Scott Two First Names' and Tom Langdon picked up the new 'They call me Bruce' shithouse manbun x1.25 multiplier. These horrendous abominations are really becoming a blight on the game and need to be dealt with accordingly in the Kerridge. Mashed spuds Jarryd Blair and Will Hoskin-Elliott also multiplied their way past an unlucky Jordan De Goey.



UBERSPUD MEDAL



'The Sack' Tyson Goldsack (or "Goldstein" if you're Luke Darcy!) is the inaugural 'Uberspud Medallist' with the glorious qualifications of zero Kerridge votes and the lowest Perrie points. Goldsack missed most of the third quarter after being poleaxed by Cunners. Played on a host of Roos and had no real influence before and after his return to the field.

Ironically, his spud performance would have only been bettered by the ex-Northerners in Wells and Greenwood who both ended the game injured as well.....again. A wry smile would not have been lost on many a North supporter!




SPECIAL MENTION

And the highlight of the night - the plastic bag that aimlessly wandered onto and plonked itself on the Etihad surface. Although not registering a disposal from limited game time, the bag was undoubtedly BOG for the night and provided the commentary team on Channel 7 with their best work and most accurate, calling it by its correct name on every occasion.




The plastic bag en route to next weeks game.



SPUD FARMER OF THE WEEK AWARD

Well done to Hojuman , who moves up to 3rd on the leaderboard, and Benj7, who makes his first appearance on the leaderboard, for both nominating Brayden Maynard for the Kerridge/Perrie double this week.

A VP and a side of fries coming your way.

And the inaugural 'Uberspud Medal' sees giantroo (love the new avatar!) and RobZombie pick up a spudburger each for nominating Tyson Goldsack.



PHIL DAVIS POSSESSION COUNT

+11 = 229 Kicks = 120


Track Phil Davis throughout the season to see if he can make his way past the 100/200/250 possession and/or 100/150 kick mark.

Another quiet disposal game for Phil with just the 11 including 6 kicks.

Held the Giants defence together, but was aided by the way Melbourne used the ball.



KERRIDGE WATCH

Another mediocre game for Kedge. Found a bit of the pill but his disposal and decision-making were a little off at times. (a common theme)

19 possessions and seven rebound 50s with 6 marks, 2 tackles and 6 clangers. Still holding his spot. Hang in there Sammy boy!

SPUD FARMER OF THE YEAR LEADERBOARD




v the Dawks this week Sunday Arvo at Uni of Tas Stadium. Get your nominations in!

 

[tazaa]

Hartung

 

[Roozee]

Can't go past Sicily.

Would go for Schoenclangers but he's likely to be chowing down on a spudburger.

 

[Hojuman]

Gunning for a top 2 spot and a home final l is.
Thanks Roozee !

p.s See See

 

[giantroo]

My early tip is Ricky Henderson. A former crow, he surely has his name on this.

 

[RobZombie]

My early tip is Ricky Henderson. A former crow, he surely has his name on this.

Henderson is somehow in my Roo Rumble Draft SC team. Slim pickins on the waiver wire some weeks. Since that's been run and won and all he can do is pump up a good score to make me second-guess delisting him, gotta be Hendo.

A quote from the more famous Rickey Henderson is apropos:
"Once you can accept failure, you can have fun and success."

 

[muttley45]

Boo, Never on the right side of a countback

 

[big_e]

Kade Stewart if he plays. If not, Daniel Howe.

 

[see see]

It's a shame that Josh Gibson's injured as he'd be a monty to pick up a spudburger.

Schoenclangers to kick four and take half a dozen contested marks.

 

[DaveyBoy123]

Before I choose, can I just reconfirm the multiplier for:

- players born in a country other than 'Straya, and
- rangas

 

[TennisPlayerAndy]

I protest.

Blair had four shots at goal.

That's ******* unheard of.