Collingwood (17th) vs Gold Coast Suns (11th)
MCG - 1:45pm
Collingwood have always had the ‘Backs to the Wall’ scenario down pat. To a simple formula, we seem to lose the unloseable match, then bounce back in unlikely scenarios the following week in a proud display of ‘Backs to the Wall’ side-by-side spirit.
But what if the wall has vanished, and instead of backs-to-the-wall spirit we simply fell off a ledge and fell to… who knows how deep?
Well that would be this weekend. The Mighty Magpies have demonstrated a complete lack of spirit, and we don’t know where this dive will stop. Today? Next week against the undermanned squad of Kangaroos? Or will we continue to scream wordlessly until we hit the bottom all the way to Round 22?
Despite the fact we have a new President and a lot of new faces in the squad, this situation is not new to anyone (like my old grizzled self) who have watched the fall and rise of our fortunes across the years.
Pies fans - hold steady. Today may not be the win, next week may not be. But we’ll eventually ensure we win enough to ensure we don’t get any high draft picks. Sit back and enjoy the messy horror that will be Saturday afternoon footy.
Last time we played
“Pies stare down Suns to lock up finals berth” - Round 17, 2020
Head to Head
Played: 10
Won: 8
Lost: 2 (not since 2014)
Draws: Zilch
Form
Collingwood: W L L L L
2021 is a team adrift, trying to find any semblance of working together
Gold Coast Suns: W L L L W
2021 is patchy and brilliant in parts but never consistent
Matchups
Oh god who cares. Just beat them.
Tip
Our fresh-faced squad is mercifully too young and dumb to know when they should lose. Pies by 17. Poulter to snag a goal on the run.
Gameday Playlist
In honour of the wonderful work by manicmagpie in the West Coast Game Day, I would like to explore today’s task ahead with a musical tribute to the individual battles that lay ahead.
Black Hole Sun (Soundgarden)
‘Hang my head, Drown my fear, Till you all just disappear’. The Suns’ backline will be all craving a spot to hide on the bench when DeGoey goes forward and brings the wrath of 12 days idle after being denied a proper run. We’re looking at an 8 goal haul in Q2.
When the Sun goes down (Arctic Monkeys)
"E's a scumbag don't you know?" Touk Miller to be blanketed by the Mayne Man. He will get some touches, but nowhere near his bag of 36. Watch the confidence sap as he gets tackled like a 2am kebab from Lamb on Chapel.
Sun King (The Beatles)
The lyrics to this old tune are nonsense - “Cuando para mucho mi amore de felice corazón”. Means nothing. Neither does Max King’s current form. Roughie to blanket him and nullify his influence.
Waiting for the Sun (The Finger or The Doors if yer over 60)
Will Hugh Greenwood manage to get a DE of better than 48%? Will the Suns actually manage a centre clearance? If there's no crowd to watch a Suns goal did it actually fall in the forest?
Invisible Sun (The Police)
Izak Rankine to be ‘IQ’d and kept right out of the game.
Any others to add to the list? Please list 'em.
(Postscript)
And for lawd's sake please go to the ground and barrack loudly. I can't - me and my gorgeous life partner had some s**t news on Friday. She has to go to hospital on Saturday and footy or no footy I am not going to be able to enjoy anything. So I need you guys to enjoy it for me. Forza!
MCG - 1:45pm
Collingwood have always had the ‘Backs to the Wall’ scenario down pat. To a simple formula, we seem to lose the unloseable match, then bounce back in unlikely scenarios the following week in a proud display of ‘Backs to the Wall’ side-by-side spirit.
But what if the wall has vanished, and instead of backs-to-the-wall spirit we simply fell off a ledge and fell to… who knows how deep?
Well that would be this weekend. The Mighty Magpies have demonstrated a complete lack of spirit, and we don’t know where this dive will stop. Today? Next week against the undermanned squad of Kangaroos? Or will we continue to scream wordlessly until we hit the bottom all the way to Round 22?
Despite the fact we have a new President and a lot of new faces in the squad, this situation is not new to anyone (like my old grizzled self) who have watched the fall and rise of our fortunes across the years.
Pies fans - hold steady. Today may not be the win, next week may not be. But we’ll eventually ensure we win enough to ensure we don’t get any high draft picks. Sit back and enjoy the messy horror that will be Saturday afternoon footy.
Last time we played
“Pies stare down Suns to lock up finals berth” - Round 17, 2020
- DeGoey returns from injury(!) kicking 4 goals
- Sexton kicked 3, but stoppages and pressure arrested momentum
- Crisp, IQ and Noble provided excellent run from half-back
Head to Head
Played: 10
Won: 8
Lost: 2 (not since 2014)
Draws: Zilch
Form
Collingwood: W L L L L
2021 is a team adrift, trying to find any semblance of working together
Gold Coast Suns: W L L L W
2021 is patchy and brilliant in parts but never consistent
Matchups
Oh god who cares. Just beat them.
Tip
Our fresh-faced squad is mercifully too young and dumb to know when they should lose. Pies by 17. Poulter to snag a goal on the run.
Gameday Playlist
In honour of the wonderful work by manicmagpie in the West Coast Game Day, I would like to explore today’s task ahead with a musical tribute to the individual battles that lay ahead.
Black Hole Sun (Soundgarden)
‘Hang my head, Drown my fear, Till you all just disappear’. The Suns’ backline will be all craving a spot to hide on the bench when DeGoey goes forward and brings the wrath of 12 days idle after being denied a proper run. We’re looking at an 8 goal haul in Q2.
When the Sun goes down (Arctic Monkeys)
"E's a scumbag don't you know?" Touk Miller to be blanketed by the Mayne Man. He will get some touches, but nowhere near his bag of 36. Watch the confidence sap as he gets tackled like a 2am kebab from Lamb on Chapel.
Sun King (The Beatles)
The lyrics to this old tune are nonsense - “Cuando para mucho mi amore de felice corazón”. Means nothing. Neither does Max King’s current form. Roughie to blanket him and nullify his influence.
Waiting for the Sun (The Finger or The Doors if yer over 60)
Will Hugh Greenwood manage to get a DE of better than 48%? Will the Suns actually manage a centre clearance? If there's no crowd to watch a Suns goal did it actually fall in the forest?
Invisible Sun (The Police)
Izak Rankine to be ‘IQ’d and kept right out of the game.
Any others to add to the list? Please list 'em.
(Postscript)
And for lawd's sake please go to the ground and barrack loudly. I can't - me and my gorgeous life partner had some s**t news on Friday. She has to go to hospital on Saturday and footy or no footy I am not going to be able to enjoy anything. So I need you guys to enjoy it for me. Forza!
)
