by Louis Kinupstov
The Coney Island Warriors joined the Sweet FA for Season 18, during the second phase of a two-part expansion initiative which also saw the entry of the Gold City team, as well as reboots of both the Swamprats and the Bears. Accepted as a new club without previous ties to any league entities, the Warriors snuck past the historians in an expose-free induction period, and very little has been said of from whence this dainty and introspective, yet potent and fertile team came. But after spending a number of late nights at the Municipal Library out Waverley way, it is with no small but much tiny pleasure that I can cast some light over the complicated pre-story of the Whore Tree's most bittersweet fruit.
Our story begins at South Attenboro, one of the three teams in the old Attenboro Association, which would be most commonly associated as the spawn point of those now known as the West Coast Wonders. South Attenboro were located in the Attenboro playing fields at Oval #3, which ground was located just over the hill from Van Cortlandt Park. They played in the Sweet District FL and the Suburban FA before relocating to Van Cortlandt Park in Season 07, changing name to the Southern Sharks, and the ground's name to Shark Park.
This was a venture which would last only one season in the Sweet FA, before a merger was brought about with the Dragons of Beldribilin. After the amalgamation, some disgruntled ex-Sharks formed a new team after a season in the vacuum, known as the South Coast Football Club. For Seasons 09 to 14, South Coast made their home at Van Cortlandt Park, and competed in the Sweet District FL. But we'll leave the South Coast team alone for now, and return to them later.
The South Coast FFC competed for 6 seasons in the SDFL
A little further east along the peninsula, Abdu Prison ran a competition with Kieran Ward, Martin Ward (which dissolved early), East Cape Prison Farm, Nilpol Island Prison Farm & Corrections Workers teams all playing games at the Abdu Prison Rec Reserve. The competition was known as the Peninsula Association, but often it was mistakenly reported as the Penitentiary Association. None of these teams chose nicknames for themselves, although names were sometimes applied against their wishes. Those representing East Cape - a fungiculture farm - were commonly referred to as the Mushy Snatchers*. Kieran Ward was a high security wing of the prison, and sometimes their team were referred to as the 'Killers' (although most of the inmates were serving time for far more serious offences such as duplicate posting and incorrect elipsis length). There is no record of an appellation for the Nilpol Island team, all that can be uncovered is that they were well-known for their love of the flick pass. One unclear reference suggests they were considered a thirds team.
When this competition closed down after Season 05, the Correctional Workers team joined the Suburban FA, then the City Competition, later winning a two-season tenure in the Sweet FA after changing name to the Mod Squad.
Kieran, East Cape and Nilpol Island merged operations into a new club known as Kieran, but no longer with ties to the prison. However their choice of Killers as a nickname was seen by some to be a backward step**. The new Kieran Killers played a season in the Suburban FA, then moved home ground to Capetown Wanderers (now known as The Colosseum) and played 8 seasons in the City Competition.
After Season 14 the City Comp was dissolving, leaving Kieran without a competition to play in. South Coast and Kieran merged, forming South-Coast-Kieran FC. This new team continued in the District FL and home games remained based at Van Cortlandt Park, as had been the case with the South Coast team. There was a call to even out the merger but the use of the Killers nickname was understandably refused. Following some late nights thrashing out the details, the South Coast-Kieran team exhumed the Mushroom Snatcher nickname for another run. After one season in the DFL, SCK switched back to the Suburban FA and continued to compete for two more seasons, where opposing teams such as Darkness Eternal and the Titans would ridicule the nickname and instead refer to them as the Toad Burglars. After two seasons in the Suburban FA, the team was struggling to attract players and were looking for a rebrand.
South Coast-Kieran chose the Mushroom Snatchers as a nickname
This is when the Warriors came out to play. Technically a new team, the Coney Island Warriors were formed as a Sweet FA expansion team for Season 18. They wanted Van Cortlandt Park, and identified the club with the Coney Islands precinct just south-east of the ground, where a small township stood under-represented since the loss of the old Dockers team. Coney Islands was a pair of islands just a few dozen feet from the mainland, boasting a quiet, insular community on the coastline as well as the islets. This region has since been bulldozed, joining the islands to the mainland to make way for a greatly expanded Port of Sweet. As well as identifying Coney Islands for recruiting, The Warriors also welcomed interest from the Kieran and Sharks/South Coast player stocks. Some could say that the Warriors were a renamed South Coast-Kieran club, and by association an extension of the old Southern Sharks, although pen and paper declared the Coney Island FFC as a new entity.
The Warriors came out to play in Season 18
This season the Warriors celebrate their tenth time going around in the Sweet FA, although depending on how you wish to look at it, they have an engrossing history that goes back much further. There's a bit of Abdu Prison in them, and they smell a little like flake, but mostly the Warriors are associated with the ghosts of the hamlet which once sat on the Coney Islands, with an easy view over the bay.
Estimated Timelines of clubs mentioned in this article:
Code:
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S00 S01 S02 S03 S04 S05 S06 S07 S08 S09 S10 S11 S12 S13 S14 S15 S16 S17 S18
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South Attenboro Att DFL DFL DFL DFL Sub Sub ─┐ Atten Ass, DFL, Sub FA
(Sharks) AO3 AO3 AO3 AO3 AO3 AO3 AO3 │ Attenboro Oval #3
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -│- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Southern Sharks SFA Sweet FA
(Sharks) VCP Van Cortlandt (Shark) Park
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -│- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
South Coast └──x── DFL DFL DFL DFL DFL DFL ─┐ SDFL
(Croweaters) VCP VCP VCP VCP VCP VCP │ Van Cortlandt Park
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -│- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
South-Coast-Kieran DFL Sub Sub DFL, Sub FA
(Mushroom Snatchers) VCP VCP VCP Van Cortlandt Park
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -│- - - -│- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Coney Island │ └── SFA SFA
(Warriors) │ VCP Van Cortlandt Park
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Kieran Ward Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Sub Cit Cit Cit Cit Cit Cit Cit Cit ─┘ Pen Ass, Sub FA, City Comp
(Killers) Abd Abd Abd Abd Abd Abd Abd Cap Cap Cap Cap Cap Cap Cap Cap Abdu Prison, Capetown Wand
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -│- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
East Cape Farm Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen ─┤ Pen Ass
(Mushroom Snatchers) Abd Abd Abd Abd Abd Abd │ Abdu Prison
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Nilpol Island Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen ─┘ Pen Ass
Abd Abd Abd Abd Abd Abd Abdu Prison
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Locations mentioned in this article:
* C/- If it sounds implausible, note that Hillwood FC in Tasmania had at one time in history been known as the Apple Snatchers.
** Kieran Killers was an actual team proposal put forward at some stage during the early days of the competition. It's as dumb a nickname as can be contrived, but I've preserved it because it was associated with
an actual Sweet FA new team bid, although the campaign was short-lived. The same applies to the original South Coast team, an actual if short-lived bid utilising the nickname Croweaters.
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