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Homer: So Hugh, have you heard all the latest American jokes.. uuh, here's a good one pull my finger.
Hugh: Haha, yes we have that one in England too Mr Simpson.
Homer: I said pull my finger!
 
Marge: Are you interested in that motorized tie rack Principal Skinner?
Skinner: Hmm.. it's awfully loud.
Marge: Well... you could always take the motor out and use it as an ordinary tie rack!
Skinner: Hm, but now the ties are motionless. And those at the back are virtually inaccessable. Well... it's a new point that I only have one tie to begin with. I believe I'll pass........................................... Have you sold that tie rack yet?
Marge: No
Skinner: I'll take it
 

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Homer: Mr Burns you have some messeges.
Your car is parked illegally and you have 30min to move it.
You have 10min
Your car has been crushed into a cube
You have 30min to move your cube.
*Phone rings*
Homer: Hello Mr Burn's office.
Mr Burns: Is is about my Cube.
 
Comic Book Guy - Huh, the Internet King. I wonder if he can provide faster nudity.

Homer - Welcome to the internet my friend, how can I help you?

Comic Book Guy - I'm interested in upgrading my twenty eight point eight kilobaud internet connection to a one point five megabit fibre-optic T-1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatable with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?

Homer - (after long pause) Can I have some money now?
 
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Bart: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know.
 
Homer: "Well let me tell you about another "crazy" guy! He had long hair, and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what people thought was right... And that man's name was... I forget! But the point is... I forget that too! Marge, you know who I'm talking about, right? He used to drive that blue car..."
 
From my favourite law enforcer:

Rex Banner: Listen, rummy, I'm gonna say it plain and simple. Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger jerking suds on the side?
Barney: (Confused) Yes?
 
Lisa: prohibition may be unpopular but its the law and b...
Homer, Bart, Marge: Go to your room Lisa!
 
Homer: Marge, can you pass the salt
Marge: (in Southern accent) Here you are Homer
Homer: Why you talking like that?
Marge: The play is tomorrow night I've got to stat in character
Lisa: (in Southern accent) Hey Ma, would it help if I talk like this too?
Marge: It might
Bart: (in English accent) And I'll talk like this...Bob's your uncle mate
Marge: That really doesn't help Bart
Lisa: Hey ma, would you mind passing one them salted biscuit
Bart: (still in English accent) Can I 'ave the day off school tomorrow?, I got a pain in me Gulliver

:D
I laugh so hard whenever this scene is on, I love the Clockwork Orange reference :D:thumbsu:
 
536411287_5086a67224.jpg
 

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Those two episodes on tonight were hillarious, two of the funnier later episodes I've seen, especially the first one with Wolfcastle.
 
Saw The Simpsons Movie on Foxtel last night for the first time since I have seen it at the cinemas and it was better the second time round. I laughed through the movie and really enjoyed it.
 
Quimby: And may I present, Leonard Nimoy
Nimoy: I bet this vessel could do Warp 5
Quimby: Thankyou, and may I say, may the ah force be with you
Nimoy: Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?

I don't care what anyone says. That's the funniest exchange in TV History.
 
I think I just found my new favourite scene:

At dinner, Homer gloats that Ned's business is a flop.
Lisa: Dad, do you know what Schadenfreude is?
Homer: No, I do not know what shaden-frawde is.
[sarcasm] Please tell me, because I'm dying to know.
Lisa: It's a German term for `shameful joy', taking pleasure in the suffering
of others.
Homer: Oh, come on Lisa. I'm just glad to see him fall flat on his butt!
[getting mad]
He's usually all happy and comfortable, and surrounded by loved ones,
and it makes me feel... What's the opposite of that shameful joy
thing of yours?
Lisa: [nastily] Sour grapes.
Homer: Boy, those Germans have a word for everything!
Click to expand...
 
Mr Burns: Well I guess there is nothing left to do now but kiss my butt goodbye
Smithers: May I do it sir?
Mr Burns: Oh hotdog.
 
Some funny Simpsons watching the TV moments

Man: [quietly] Well, sir, it has been an uneventful week in Badger
Falls...where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and
the children are pink-cheeked and robust.
[Audience laughs loudly]
Homer: What the hell's so funny?
Man: At the Apple Biscuit cafe, where the smiles are free, don't you
know, Sven Inqvist studied the menu, and finally he ordered the
same thing he has every day.
[Audience laughs and applauds]
Bart: Maybe it's the TV.
Homer: Stupid TV. [Hits it] Be more funny!

---
Homer: Ooh! It's that new show about the policeman who solves
crimes in his spare time.
Bart: Crank it, Homer!
Chief: You busted up that crack house pretty bad, McGonigle. Did
you really have to break so much furniture?
McGonigle: You tell me, Chief. You had a pretty good view from behind
your desk.
Homer: Ah, McGonigle: eases the pain.
Chief: You're off the case, McGonigle!
McGonigle: You're off _your_ case, Chief!
Chief: What does that mean exactly?
Homer: [yelling] It means he gets results, you stupid chief!
Lisa: Dad, siddown.

----

TV Voice: That's damn fine coffee you got here in Twin Peaks! And damn
good cherry pie!
[On the screen, a man dances with a horse under a tree, from
which a stop light hangs. They dance to the saxophone music being
played.]
Homer: Brilliant! [laughs] I have absolutely no idea what's going on.
 
Jabso said:
Some funny Simpsons watching the TV moments

Man: [quietly] Well, sir, it has been an uneventful week in Badger
Falls...where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and
the children are pink-cheeked and robust.
[Audience laughs loudly]
Homer: What the hell's so funny?
Man: At the Apple Biscuit cafe, where the smiles are free, don't you
know, Sven Inqvist studied the menu, and finally he ordered the
same thing he has every day.
[Audience laughs and applauds]
Bart: Maybe it's the TV.
Homer: Stupid TV. [Hits it] Be more funny!

---
Homer: Ooh! It's that new show about the policeman who solves
crimes in his spare time.
Bart: Crank it, Homer!
Chief: You busted up that crack house pretty bad, McGonigle. Did
you really have to break so much furniture?
McGonigle: You tell me, Chief. You had a pretty good view from behind
your desk.
Homer: Ah, McGonigle: eases the pain.
Chief: You're off the case, McGonigle!
McGonigle: You're off _your_ case, Chief!
Chief: What does that mean exactly?
Homer: [yelling] It means he gets results, you stupid chief!
Lisa: Dad, siddown.

----

The first 2 were brilliant.... The 2nd quote is my fav of all time.. well it's up there anyway.. you can't really say favourite of all time cause then you think of 50 other quotes from the simpsons that are awesome... haha...

PS. Let's talk about your photo Jabso.... ATHF... love that show... Mooninites are awesome... "This coffee table would compliment........ uranis beautifully..... do you get the double entendre...." Love it... hahahaha

Peace
Jacky
Click to expand...
 
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