Family & Relationships So what are the clues that your partner is having an affair?

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Mal Lucka

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Nov 19, 2012
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Have you ever thought that your partner is doing the dirty on you but you can't prove it? I'm in that situation right now so I'm seeking independent opinions or hints on what to look out for.

I'm sorry if this seems self indulgent so Mods please close if this is an inappropriate thread.
 

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Mal Lucka said:
Have you ever thought that your partner is doing the dirty on you but you can't prove it? I'm in that situation right now so I'm seeking independent opinions or hints on what to look out for.

I'm sorry if this seems self indulgent so Mods please close if this is an inappropriate thread.
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If you have started to wonder all is not right to begin with.

Either she is, or you think things are in such a way that she should be.

Not good either way
 
EagleMan87 said:
Do you think it's an emotional or a sexual affair? Or both?
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Could be both. We lived together until recently in a defacto. The reason she gave or splitting up was that she couldn't give me the emotional support anymore even though I wasn't looking for any. Said she needed to get her life back in order which is news to me.

The other night she wanted some stuff back so late one night I went there so noone was around an I was goin to leave the stuff on her front lawn and text her as she refuses to speak to me.

Well as I was turning into her street I had to stop as. She was pulling out of the drive way and drove away. It was 11.15 at night. She has a kid withher first husband and her auntie was over to babysit obviously. I know the Aunties car. Why would she be going out on a week night at that time with a kid in bed.

It's sounds obvious?
 
Dazb86 said:
If she's being a grumpy bitch for no reason. Pretty much how you'd act if you were hungover.

It'll somehow be your fault OP.
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Yep she acted like that a lot lately and when I approached her about why she was acting like that she would say that I'm imagining it and basically try and tell me that I am paranoid.
 
NarklesHelmet said:
If you have a regular sexual routine (say 3-4 times a week) and it has diminished significantly for no logical reason (like a really stressful event) this is a real giveaway.
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We'd been in a defacto relationship for 5 years and sex had become sparodic at best but sometimes she would jump me but I got the feeling it had nothing to do with me.
 

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This is what bugs me. When w first started our relationship she would be at pains to threaten me not to embarrass her by the doing the dirty on her which I never have and she would make a point I saying this to me. Smokescreen?
 
Mal Lucka said:
We'd been in a defacto relationship for 5 years and sex had become sparodic at best but sometimes she would jump me but I got the feeling it had nothing to do with me.
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Yeah, doesn't sound good then, seems a likely thing. Although, as it seems like you've broken up now, I guess the affair is a secondary concern now (although it may well be the reason for the break-up I guess).
 
NarklesHelmet said:
Yeah, doesn't sound good then, seems a likely thing. Although, as it seems like you've broken up now, I guess the affair is a secondary concern now (although it may well be the reason for the break-up I guess).
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Yeah that's what I'm getting at. Was it the reason for the split up?
 
If she's moved out; going out on (probable) booty calls at 11.15pm and sending you texts "booting you out" (don't people have the balls to do this s**t face to face anymore?) and such s**t..... usually that's a pretty good hint......

Sorry bro, I know this is tough, but it sounds like you gotta move on. Them's the breaks.
 
Mal Lucka said:
Yeah that's what I'm getting at. Was it the reason for the split up?
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It really could be anything of course without knowing you but from the experience of friends that have been cheated on and broken up with, that sort of gradual detachment and then final break-off is consistent with the dumper having met someone.
 
Initially she wanted us to live apart for a while as she had her Dad staying over from interstate and she "couldn't breathe" and she "needed space". So we agreed that I would move out for a while and revisit the situation in a couple of months. After two days I got the text to collect my stuff.
 
Leper said:
If she's moved out; going out on (probable) booty calls at 11.15pm and sending you texts "booting you out" (don't people have the balls to do this s**t face to face anymore?) and such s**t..... usually that's a pretty good hint......

Sorry bro, I know this is tough, but it sounds like you gotta move on. Them's the breaks.
Click to expand...

This is what shits me, the fact she won't talk to me to end it amicably. She did so callously via text and is being nasty about it. I have asked her a few times nicely to talk face to face in a dignified way so we can both have closure and move on. She won't even give me that.

I don't understand.
 
Mal Lucka said:
Initially she wanted us to live apart for a while as she had her Dad staying over from interstate and she "couldn't breathe" and she "needed space". So we agreed that I would move out for a while and revisit the situation in a couple of months. After two days I got the text to collect my stuff.
Click to expand...

Doesn't add up. Sounds like she'd already made her mind up when she told you she needed space. Because 2 days isn't really enough to time to think things through. I think she was too cowardly to do it face to face, so she got you out of the way and done it via text to save herself confrontation perhaps.
 
This situation sounds awfully familiar to one that I am aware of. A couple of questions if I may:
  1. Were you living together in her home? Does she own the home?
  2. How old is the child?
  3. Where does the father live interstate?
 
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